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Greetings Dakkites Been awhile since a post and this time am bringing you something a bit different...



+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication Grade Alpha+++
+++Origin::The Serene Penance::+++
+++To:Inquisitor Varus
+++From: Captain Balthazar "The Fox" Arias
+++Thought for the day: The Imperium is a machine and the Emperor is the intelligence guiding that machine



----Begin Message----


Hello and greetings, to the esteemed member of the Emperors Holy Orders I trust that this communication reaches you in good health.
Since our last meeting I have been occupied with aquireing the means to make more profit for the sake of furthuring the Emperors good work and in my adventures I have come across some matters which I wish to bring to your full attention, I am certain that you will find the following rather interesting to say the least.

Upon visiting Svaad Prime a hive world that I have come to inheret. My personage came under attack from a faction known throughout the sector as "the whisperers". While this in itself is not so unusual on such a world and regarding matters of succsession. I thought to investigate the nature and capabilites and my new advesaries in order to plan a course of action for the world and to get the balls rolling for it to be brought back into full compliance in the Emperors name.

My intelligence sources made me aware of an ememy place of interest (The Citadel) off planet and I used the forces at my disposal to attempt a raid to capture one of the enemy for "questioning". After a series of close range firefights we were unable to take any alive but I can now say with full confidence that the faction has come under the full influence of the ruinous powers. We were able to put many to the sword and managed to also rescue some of the Emperors servants that happened to be there.

While normallly a world with antagonistic elements is to be brought into line by the given Imperial Commander, I am sure that you will see the reasoning behind my message to you and informing you of an ememy of this nature and while I am prepared to fight a small war for my own interests this matter may require the expertise of the Inquisitors.

By the time that this message reaches you through the astropathic network, I will have furthered efforts in this and at present I believe that the influence of this cult is extensive throughout the Prime Hive on Svaad and perhaps throughout the others...

I would also note to you the value of the world to the greater Imperium and to bring it back into full compliance, increased Tithing and the like will furthur the Imperial cause throghout this sub-sector.


Regards


The Fox


----End Message----



----Awaiting Response.....

+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication Grade Astartes+++
+++Origin::Vondolus Prime::+++
+++To:Captain Balthazar "The Fox" Arias+++
+++From: Captain Askar Ovale+++
+++Thought for the day: Life is the Emperor's currency, spend it well.+++



----Begin Message----



Are you sure you dialed the right number? I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.


Regards


Captain Askar Ovale, of the Spirit of Man Chapter.


----End Message----

+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication Grade Alpha+++
+++Origin::The Serene Penance::+++
+++To:Captain Askar Ovale+++
+++From: +++ Captain Balthazar "The Fox" Arias+++
+++Thought for the day: An open mind is like an open fortress, with its gate unbound and unguarded.+++

----Begin Message----




Greetings M'Lord Astartes

Sorry for the confussion And wrong address the Astropath at fault will be "examined" and disiplined in due time.

The heretics aboard the Citadel were all wiped out when I ordered the Serene to get a firing soulotion on it and then ordered it fire. There may have been some innocents still aboard but as you know such sacrifices must be made when fighting Chaos



----End Message----


I wrote this letter to the GM's Inquisitor in our Rogue Trader campaign. I did it for some extra flavour and he gave me 200Xp for it

+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication Grade Astartes+++
+++Origin::Vondolus Prime::+++
+++To:Captain Balthazar "The Fox" Arias+++
+++From: Captain Askar Ovale+++
+++Thought for the day: Those who hold fast to the Emperor, are never truly defeated+++



----Begin Message----


Oh, wonderful. Keep up the good work, purging those heretics!


Regards


Captain Askar Ovale, Captain of the Spirit of Man Chapter.


----End Message----

+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication Grade Sigma+++
+++Origin:rofit's Prophet::+++
+++To:Captain Balthazar "The Fox" Arias; Captain Askar Ovale;+++
+++From: Rogue Trader Rasmusson Halfdan+++
+++Thought for the day: Fear profits a man nothing+++
----Begin message----

Do YOU have a problem with performance?
If so you should try ENRAGE. The ancient and tested formula for increasing speed, stamina and ferocity.

Warning, side effects may include: Loss of vision, necrosis of the testes, paralysis, death, chaos worship and nausea.

This advertisement was brought to you by Rasmusson Trading and Co. Bringing you tomorrow, today.

----End message----

+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication cannot be determined+++
+++Origin::???::+++
+++To:Captain Balthazar "The Fox" Arias+++
+++From: unknown communications+++
+++.........+++

----Begin Message---

All this time, and nobody points out the "rouge" trader?

Also:


...............

----connection terminated----

OOC: I was gonna but really cba...

+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication Grade Astartes+++
+++Origin::Vondolus Prime::+++
+++To:Rogue Trader Rasmusson Halfdan+++
+++From: Captain Askar Ovale+++
+++Thought for the day: There is only the Emperor, he is our shield and protector.+++



----Begin Message----

Please put me on your do not astropathic transmission list, thank you.


Regards


Captain Askar Ovale, of the Spirit of Man Chapter.



----End Message----

+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication Grade Astartes+++
+++Origin::Vondolus Prime::+++
+++To:Rogue Trader Rasmusson Halfdan+++
+++From: Jenna Smith+++
+++Thought for the day: Hi, long time since we spoke ;-)+++



----Begin Message----
Our low price guarantee excellent performance on sexual matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!1!!!!1!!!

CHEAP ONE BLUE PILLS x20 $139.99

CHEAP VIAGRA x20 $139.99

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----End Message----

+++Incoming Astropathic Transmission+++
+++Authentication Grade Beta+++
+++Origin: Ultramar+++
+++To:Captain Balthazar "The Fox" Arias; Captain Askar Ovale+++
+++From: Ultramar Lord+++
+++Thought for the day: True Honor is not brought but earned+++

---Begin Message---

I am a Lord in the Ultramar sector and request urgent assistance. The heretics recently attacked my palace and stole all the treasure inside of it, however if you can just send me 1000 thrones I shall be able to hire a local Inquisitor Assassin to retrieve these treasures. As a sign of my appreciation if you include your bank details I shall be able to repay and reward your kind deed with some of the vast treasures in the palace. However to send these rewards to you the local trader requests a 500 throne treasure transferation fee in order to safely transfer the treasures quickly to you. But I will pay for the treasure transferation fee as an additionaled sign of thanks.

I await your kindness,

Ultramar Lord

---End Message---

I believe this goes in 'Survivor Games and Chain Fiction'