motyak wrote:Nerves of Steel
In my opinion, Nerves of Steel does not represent a brave character, but instead one with no sense of self-preservation.
Brave/battle hardened characters should have simply a high Nv stat (which, with the +20% for if he's not hit and Nv tests not auto failing on 96-00, more than about Nv 70 means the character stays put almost all the time anyway). Nerves of Steel should be reserved for those characters who simply don't care if they live or die - servitors, emotionally suppressed Tech-adepts, hypnoindoctrinated Space Marines, that kind of thing.
As for his fear of Xenos, I would instead recommend that he treats all Xenos as Fearsome. (And maybe Fearsome Xenos as Terrifying, but I don't know.)
one of their joint business ventures ended in what was deemed to be heresy.
How so? What were they doing, and what exactly was deemed to be heretical about it? Given this is central to your background, it's worth defining what happened.
Despite their protestations of innocence, and the rogue trader’s clear involvement
If it's a powerful enough Rogue Trader, then unless it's serious enough to demand execution, they do tend to get away with things through sheer political clout. That'd add something to his rivalry actually, if the Rogue Trader had pulled strings to get it pinned on the Schröder family.
after his recuperation, he received that same rifle, reconsecrated and sworn into service of the Arbites.
I agree it's good for character's weapons to have back-stories, but there are a few too many characters who keep weapons they probably shouldn't.
Think about it from the armourer's viewpoint - why would he care about any personal connection Maximillian has with the rifle when it comes to the time to decide what weapon to issue? That's tainted technology, so it'd be pretty odd to give it to the person who's there as penance for his family's heresy - and with that in mind, what would he think if Maximillian asked to keep it?
To be honest, it probably would have just been chucked indiscriminately in a pile of evidence with all the other heretic's guns, get mixed up beyond anyone's ability to identify it specifically, then be thoroughly disposed of with the rest of them.
His shot, which ended a rebellion threatening the entire sub-sector before it could truly gain momentum
This rebellion, like the aforementioned heresy, probably needs more detail. Particularly as I'm interested to know how a rebellion is both in a position where it's threatening a sub-sector (as opposed to "might threaten the sub-sector one day, in five years, maybe.") and where it can be stopped with a single shot.
It was after Agmund had been elevated to the rank of full Inquisitor, that he returned to the sector and recruited Maximillian as one of his personal retainers.
This Inquisitor has the pick of billions of people and he decides to make a hundreds of lightyear trip to another sector to recruit one particular Arbitrator?
This is a simple fix though - shorten the distance. Inquisitors are usually pretty unlikely to operate outside a single sector. Sector-to-sector distances are vast and there's quite enough to do in their own sector to start poking one's nose into what other Inquisitors are based closer to.
He never fails to go into battle with careful planning, camouflaging himself according to extensive research into the terrain.
He should probably get the Camouflage ability then.
Max received a ragged scar on his face when the monster ambushed him in his hide, an ambush which he just managed to hold off until another member of the band managed to slay it.
Who, and how did it affect his relationship with them?