I must say I'm not a fan of drop-podding they come on out of range of any support.
Also, I'm more of a fan of venerable dreads as the 1 point armour difference is worth the reroll in my experience. Ymmd
I like your idea of the multitude of tactical marines. It gives the enemy something to shoot at but I differ on the flamer and the sergeant.
Why not give them a plasma gun that is much more effective against high armour enemies.
The dreadnoughts I'd definitely put a flamer on but your tactical squads, I'd get some plasma in there to pierce that enemy armour

.
I have no experience with storm ravens but storm talons I agree with 100% I use them myself and they perform well.
I use
LotD instead of your storm ravens and they perform very nicely. Ignoring cover and getting 3+ invul's can come in very handy.
To summarise:
I'd take a conversion beamer and put it with a combat squad of
tac marines behind my aegis somewhere (long range S10 AP1 blast

) besides, the
MotF is not a real character for close combat.
I'd drop the pods I don't have a good experience with deep striking dreads. Get them all a long range gun and get them venerable that's 4 dreads for your 3 right there.
For the rest I don't really have experience with storm ravens and thunder fire cannons so won't argue with them.
To explain my perspective: I used 2
dev squads with 4 plasma cannons together with 2
Motf with a conversion beamer. This means that the enemy only has a very small corridor where your enemy is safe namely between 36-48 inches at the most.
Those s10 ap1 blasts are very likely to hit and when they hit they hit HARD. Plasma cannons are also very nice as they cut through power armour and tanks with ease. The flamers are a must on the dropped dreads but I'd not drop them at all. Maybe 1 with some flamers but not more than that.