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The Dragons of Redemption - My Space Marine fluff  [RSS] Share on facebook Share on Twitter Submit to Reddit
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Made in au
Death-Dealing Devastator





Erebor

Hey people! I got my fluff done and here it is. I've posted it because I would like some comments and criticism so it can be improved and completely figured out. Thanks in advance! By the way I used the shrouded lord's fluff description as a template (he let me btw) Here's his: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/583675.page

Name: Dragons of Redemption, [DoR] originally titled Bronze Dragons er, now titled 'The Emperor's Redemption'
Gene – Seed: Vulkan
Home world: Ascension
Home World Details: The planet Ascension is the second home for the Dragons of Redemption, who relocated there after the Fall of the Bronze Chapter [see below]. The planet is of dense rainforests home to different kinds of creatures. One of these is the winged serpent, a large, green, snake like creature with the wings of a dragon. The DoR use these creatures and rainforests for trials to test the strength of their marines. There are also non – forested parts of land, which is where the Space Marines and people of Ascension have built their cities.
Combat Doctrine: The Dragons of Redemption believe that a fast, head on aggressive assault, backed by firepower is the best way to destroy the enemy. Therefore leading to a high number of assault marines throughout the chapter. Their preferred assault weapon is power fists and they show a high likeness for plasma weaponry.
Colours: Bronze armour with green shoulder and knee pads and a brown casing for weaponry.
Battle cry: "Strike into war, flames upon the enemy!"
Recruitment: The Dragons of Redemption recruit their battle – brothers from their home world Ascension.
Notable Members of the Dragons of Redemption:
Chapter Master: Roldan Syphirious
Chief Librarian: Zaarik
Captain of the 1st company: Aldarin Morfist

Fall of the Bronze Chapter: The Bronze Dragons, successor chapter of the Salamanders, were created to ensure the safety of the people of the planet Dorado. Once the chapter was established it was sent down to the planet in a few ships. A couple of the ships almost crashed due to an unknown malfunction. Four hundred and eighty Space Marines almost fell to certain death, if not for a certain chaos god’s interjection. Tzeentch intervened early with the fate of this chapter, by saving the marines. To all of them at once, possibly, he whispered a few words: “Your lives I have saved, for that you’re in my debt, to serve me when I call”.
For almost twenty years the chapter lived peacefully, with one another, that is, not with the Tau they set out to destroy. The peace ended, when an invasion of Chaos struck Dorado and thus began the Fall of the Bronze Chapter.
The Bronze Dragons fought bravely and valiantly. They were winning the battle, until Tzeentch reminded the 480 marines of their debt. Those who were affected froze mid battle and fell to chaos, turning on their own brothers. After a long and tiresome fight the loyalist Bronze Dragons finally won, by strength and courage alone.
Since then, the now titled Dragons of Redemption have vowed to destroy those who betrayed the chapter to redeem the once highly held name: The Bronze Dragons.

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2015/08/16 03:26:18


The Emperor's Redemption: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/586715.page

Emperor's Redemption: 590 points and very slowly counting 
   
Made in nl
Wight Lord with the Sword of Kings






North of your position

Bit short, but there's nothing wrong with it. How are their relations with the Inquisition? They're bound to be under close watch by them..

   
Made in us
Confessor Of Sins




WA, USA

The only thing that jumps out at me is the choice of words in their combat style.

Are they there to 'humiliate' their enemies? Why not destroy them?

 Ouze wrote:

Afterward, Curran killed a guy in the parking lot with a trident.
 
   
Made in au
Death-Dealing Devastator





Erebor

Thanks guys for your input. I don't know much about the Inquisition, I'll have to read up about it. I couldn't think of another word instead of humiliate, I also didn't want to overuse destroy. But, edited. I'm also working on getting a tactical squad painted, eventually. Any ideas for trials, aside from killing a winged serpent? Anyway thanks again!

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2014/03/29 01:44:57


The Emperor's Redemption: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/586715.page

Emperor's Redemption: 590 points and very slowly counting 
   
 
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