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So the way this works is similar the the vending machine thread, you say what you do in the store, then the next person responds with how the employees react.

I.e.
(First poster)
I bring in a "Converted" force of space marines, converted from what you ask? Fantasy lizardmen with ultramarine decals.

(responder) They insist you bring a fantasy rulebook with you whenever you play.

Ok so lets get started

I run into the store and begin doing squats. (the exercise)

I insist that our store's policy prevents any exercise of any kind, mental or physical, to be performed and that I ask that you either buy a Space Marine strikeforce or go away.

I grind off all of the Chaos markings/motiffs off a Chaos army, paint them as Ultramarines but insist on using the CSM codex.

They insist you buy a defiler and paint it blue too.

I ask to see a copy of White Dwarf.

They show you a copy of white dwarf from the 80s [didn't say what type of WD]

I say god is dead.

They show you the Imperial Knight and say you are wrong.

I come in with a full Dreamforge army, which I naturally say are MTS.

They insist that you buy a Cadian defense force and a box of Chaos Warriors to bolster your army.

I bring in 40k models but play with Infinity rules with an opponent that has agreed to do the same. If asked, I will fervently insist that it's 2nd edition even if a veteran corrects me.

The employees, unable to correctly remember 2nd ed rules, flip through whatever codexes they have on hand to find any rules in common.

I bring in an IG force, each guardsman is actually a filed-down space marine carved into a guardsman.

They thank you for going above the call of duty in giving them more money [space marines costs more than AM equivalents]

I say GOD IS DEAD!!! [again]

The employee starts asking about what I am playing what army. And starts trying to get me to play the flavor of the month.
I spend wasting his time by talking about all my projects involving non GW miniatures, Tell him I have all the original metal versions of the finecast line so I don't need any of those new ones. I buy my paint and glue from other stores.
Continue to tell him how I got started and how I got some old miniatures from the rogue trader days and stuff he clearly does not know how to respond too. Pull a "I was painting and converting before you ever learned to pick up a hobby knife.
Berate the Taurox for its ugly little tracks All while picking several kits from the shelves. Dump the stack of boxes on the counter. I wander back into the store asking him more questions about the old GW miniatures and if they are going to bring back the Imperial guard Beastmen, the female space marines and the Squats.
Than just leave the store without buying anyhing

That post just made my day
The employees would hunt you down and shove in your face the oldest miniatures in the store and try and make you buy them.

I stab the computer with a hobby knife, flip over all of the hobby tables, insult a little kid to make him cry and then insist on buying everything in British pounds even when I am in Australia.

They happily take your money, quietly taking you to the side to ask you to try to limit your Khornite episodes. They pay not attention to the computer, when asked about it they admit it doesn't actually do anything anyway.




Proxy deathstrike missile launchers with chimeras with primer cans on them. When fired the end of the can is punctured and whatever the can runs into as it zooms around the store is counted as killed by a SD weapon.

They berate you for using non-GW primers, and offer you several deathstrike missile kits to "play the right way, not just whatever seems fun"

I construct an army of crude eldar from bits of GW sprew, and field them.

They suggest you enter your Khorne Chaos army in Golden Demon.

I bring in Mat Ward's head on a stick.

They bow and worship the head, while the newbie employee tries to phone the police for murder because he just doesn't understand.

I bring in a diorama of Slaanesh demons making love to captured Sisters of Battle and ask to run a cinematic game where the Ultramarines are trying to rescue the Sisters from almost certain peril.

The clerk agrees and praises you for 'forging a narrative'

I bring in 120 guardsmen to play count-as Kroot.

I bring nothing but Crisis suits with flamers.

I walk in and ask for a game.

They recommend that you buy a box of Vespids, a Riptide and an Empire Pistoliers box to finish your army.

I always lurk around, whether it be inside or out, the store. Whenever a little Timmy is about to buy something I jump in and tell him how much cheaper things are on Ebay. I also start screaming that the 6th Edition rulebook is obsolete.

I tell you that you should buy several new battle forces for when seventh edition lands, to make sure you have your favourite models to play with.

I ask the best way to paint ultramarines power armour.

You're dragged into the mystical back room and never seen again.

I actually buy one of the flamer paint sprayers.

I laugh hysterically until I realise you're serious, and then happily take your money before your sanity sets in.

I pick up another customers model without asking and with greasy pizza fingers

They applaud you for your generous, disease filled offering to papa Nurgle.

I tell them I want to play a game of Black Tide vs Green Tide to reenact Armageddon. And tell them that every model will need a name and I need their help.

I bring out some Citadel FineNapkins and demand that the players pay $20 each for them. The FineNapkins are covered in holes and tear easily.

I bring in a ton of Warmachine Khador models and use them as a Space Marine army.

I start to question everything, there isn't any other model manufacturers is there?Is there!? IS THERE!?

I refuse to buy a digital codex, no matter 'how cool' it is

You also disappear to the mystical back room.

I buy a Citadel Finenapkin.

I enthusiastically show you a Citadel finenapkin sewing set that fixes the 'slight' imperfections. Just $18.95!

I ask about Sisters of Battle models

I inform you that Games Workshop hobby centers no longer carries the models. However, I offer a box of Space Marines and some green stuff so that you can convert your own.

I spill the entire paint rack. The stain on the rug dries almost instantly.

I politely tell you that GW has a strict 'you spill it, you buy it at triple price' policy and then lock the door

I ask what is the best base colour for Tau

I got into a long ramble about painting miniatures and saddle you with about 13 different paints. One of which is a highlight color.

I walk inside with an army composed entirely out of molded chocolate Space Marines painted to look like badly painted Ultramarines. When a mini dies I eat it.

I applaud you for forging a narrative.

I walk in during a tournament with an army with only two colours. (Remember GW still has rules for tournaments? Yep.)

I try to sell you paints, brush, the Citadel Workstation and Citadel Water. Before you actually get the water you must roll a D6 to see what kind you get.

I bring in an army with the three color minimum. However, the paintjob consists only of a stripped band of red, white and blue painted horizontally across each model.