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I have a pair of suggestions:
-change one combi melta squad for a combi grav-combi plasma squad to have more flexibility
-drop the extra Marines in the tactic al squad, you could invest 210 points in something more valuable, for example a storm raven to have the formation with the talons, a full grav devastator squad or an ironclad Dreadnought in a pod (you lack of cc units)
It's a good list, turn one assault with the veterans and turn two take control of the objectives with tactical squad
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