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Okay so.. I dont know the first step to getting an army. (( Trying to compile a CAD$ List for these units as well ))
What are the must haves for a small 500 point imperial guard Army?
Vehicles, Commanders ( I dont know what the leader of a imperial guard unit is called ) all that.

Decisions thus far: ( I havent made up my mind that I am making this army, but I want to know the price so I can weigh it agains the other options. )
Trying to get as many Abhumans, Mutants and Criminals as possible so if you know of any models that do this. Please recommend.
( Think of it as a suicide squad of the empires undesirables )

Ratlings are a must have for me. Just one unit of snipers should do the trick.
https://www.games-workshop.com/en-AU/Imperial-Guard-Ratlings

The second must have for a mutant/undesirable army. The Ogryns!
https://www.games-workshop.com/en-AU/Militarum-Auxilla-Ogryns

The Bullygryns! Heavy Armored Ogryns!
http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Warhammer-40k-Imperial-Guard-Astra-Militarum-Bullgryns-NIB-/112319230530?hash=item1a26bf7242:g:40oAAOSwhRxXK57u




Also I like this guy, he is funny.
Will it work? https://www.games-workshop.com/en-WW/Grey-Knights-Jokaero-Weaponsmith



Anyway I need some suggestions and help building and pricing an army. I wanna stay away from mass generic infantry. But if its inevitable I understand.
Around 500 Points, simple and fun.

Well, you do need some kind of HQ. Whichever you pick, you ought to get Nork Deddog in there, if you want to max out your abhumans.

For your Troops, you are going to need some basic infantry. If you want lower numbers, Veterans in Chimeras are going to be your best bet for cost. Plus, with smaller models, it is easier to convert them into something a little less human.

Ratlings, Ogryns and Bullgryns are expensive, points-wise, so if you want all of them, that's going to eat up a lot of your points right out of the gate, and leave you sorely hurting for heavier firepower.

If they are expensive they must be good though right? So while they eat up my points they do give back in there own unique ways.

https://www.games-workshop.com/en-WW/Militarum-Tempestus-Scions I like the looks of these scions too.

What do you mean HQ?
Also do I need any vehicles? Things no team should be without like the space marines bikers and hover jets ( or something like that )

Not necessarily. The problem is that a points cost is not a measure of power. I'm sure there are others here better than myself about addressing 40k's balance issues, but in your case, Ogryns and Ratlings are just not that great for their cost.

Ogryns are only okay in combat, and their poor leadership means they will be bailing the instant they start taking serious casualties. And Ratlings are just snipers, which struggle heavily in 40k as you need very good rolls to even get modest returns on points cost.

What I am thinking and let me know if this isnt going to work but.

Ratlings
Ogryns
Bullygryns
Scions ( maybe depends what they do )
Cattachan Command Squad
Cadian Shock Troopers
Chimera Tank
Sentinal Walker

( Are there any flying ships I should get? )
I have not made any final decisions. I like the Catachan guys in theory but I cant really add any gender diversity to them since they are all pretty much bare chested.
If I take alot of time with the Cadian Squad ( I dont know the difference betwene shock troopers and Command squad ) I can make each one unique with there own persnality and schtick, ethnicity and gender.

Also I was told I need a Commisar, if so than https://www.games-workshop.com/en-WW/Officio-Prefectus-Commissar This one is the most customizable. ( although id really like my own really bad ass commander leading the army if possible.


If going bare bones?
Ratlings, Ogryns, Cadian Troopers, Tank ( Or Vaan or Sentinal ) Valkyrie and A Commander of some sort.

They made a female Catachan with a grenade launcher. I think they go for like $10 on ebay. Maybe she was a Last Chancer, I don't remember.

Are there rules for beastmen?


Automatically Appended Next Post:
So.. I did a embarrassing silly but fun thing! I named and described all my possible units!

Imperial Guard: No Name Yet.
Theme : Suicide Squad
Shuttle:
Colours:

Origin
A collection of mutants abhumans and criminals
the undesirables of the empire. Sent to danger
and savage locations in the galaxy without any
regard for there lives… Together they forge a
tight bond and companionship through the hell
of war.

Commissar: ( Unknown )

Captain: Arma Svetchya.
“Arms like tree trunks and built like a space marine, She is a powerhouse with a robot arm”

Psyker: Punky.
“A Young rebellious girl with Incredible Power”

Main Troops Name: Korvo Squadron.
Unit Leader: Korvo Atillies. ( Desert Commando In a Turbon ) - Deathworld Native - Charged with Murder
Second: Elleny Larch ( Hardened Woman and Soul survivor ) - Charged with Abandoning Mission
Third: X0-2 Deki Robot. ( Robot Enforcer ) - No Charge
Fourth: Biggs ( Bruiser & Hiveworld Gangster ) - Hiveworld Gang Enforcer - Murder.
Fith: Riktorg ( Wolfman faced wild mutant ) - Charged with - Being a Mutant.
Sixth: Jari ( Soldier Mutated through by Worp) - Charged With - Being a Mutant
Seventh: Gutsy Jak ( Looks undead... Mutant ) - Charged with - Being a Mutant.
Eighth: Kohrgorn ( Horned Beastman - Gor Parts ) - Abhuman Scum.
Ninth: Tizzy ( Short Spunky Girl, Civ World Theif) - Grand Theft.
Tenth: Nomad ( Hooded hiveworld Assassin ) - Charged with Murder

Ratling Troops Name: Largo Rangers
Unit Leader: Old Largo
Second: Black-Eye
Third: Griply Jacken
Fourth: Thumper
Fihth: Ruff Bigfoot

Ogryn Troops Name: Kork Team
Unit Leader: Chief Kork
Second: Goro
third : Hugo

Bullygryn Troop Name: Torgo Team
Unit Leader: Chief Torgo Grash
Second: Haggon Hammerhand
Third: Kresh Stonehand

Stout Troop Name:
Unit Leader:

Violet: Jacko Wings “A little crazy but he gets the job done damn it!”
Vehicle: Valkyrie

Driver: Gaurenson “Gruff Rude & Manly*
Vehicle: Chimera Tank ( Or Sentinel Walker )

Mmm

Your Captain seems like a perfect fit for Straken https://www.games-workshop.com/en-BE/Imperial-Guard-Colonel-Iron-Hand-Straken
Might as well convert her and use his rules

Scions wouldn't fit too well, imo, they're special forces, the Guard's elite. They're about 10% less expandable than regular Guardsmen, if only because their gear is actually decent (their guns punch through power armor, while their own armor is decent enough that most basic weapon wont penetrate it)

You'd want commissars in the list because they're in charge of discipline and keeping guardsmen in line, they'd fit well in the army thematically, at least.

 Bobthehero wrote:
Mmm

Your Captain seems like a perfect fit for Straken https://www.games-workshop.com/en-BE/Imperial-Guard-Colonel-Iron-Hand-Straken
Might as well convert her and use his rules

Scions wouldn't fit too well, imo, they're special forces, the Guard's elite. They're about 10% less expandable than regular Guardsmen, if only because their gear is actually decent (their guns punch through power armor, while their own armor is decent enough that most basic weapon wont penetrate it)

You'd want commissars in the list because they're in charge of discipline and keeping guardsmen in line, they'd fit well in the army thematically, at least.

I am thinking this for my commander.
And if I decide later that the model doesnt work I can cut off her arms and legs and glue official legs and arms to her.

Also there are more options too!

I just glanced at the webstore and the Cadian and Catachan Defence Forces are back up there for 165 USD, depending on if they are webstore only or not you might be able to find it at a slight discount on ebay or amazon though. That would set you up with a Command Squad (Cadian one at least comes with a robot arm with power sword), a chimera, a leman russ battle tank, and 2 squads of standard infantry that you can run as veterans to get the minimum troops requirement in.

For your more mutant/criminal/penal area, you can always look up the Armored Claw - 55 USD for a chimera, a squad of cadians, and a genestealer cultist upgrade sprue. With a tiny bit of work the cultist heads can most likely pass as fully human and give you more of a rugged ganger look to your men.

For female stuff, honestly with Cadians and Tempestus Scions at least, a simple headswap can work. I'm not sure if it is still available, but Dreamforge Miniatures had a decent female stormtroopers kit that came with about 20 more heads than it had models.

Is this meant for games, or is this more of a hobby project? The issue with guardsmen is that no matter what you're going to be taking a decent number of models. The first thing I'll point out is that if you're aiming for just 500 points you're going to be way over with what you've got so far. Between the ogryns and bullgryns alone you're already looking at 275, and a valkyrie is another 125. Puts you at 400 points, which means you don't have enough to create a legal army unless you bump up to 750 or 1000. A legal army needs to have an HQ, which is either a company command squad (5 models, one being a company commander, 60 points before upgrades) or a lord commissar (65 points before upgrades). You'll also need two troops choices, which at cheapest is 2 veteran squads at 60 points apiece before upgrades. So bare minimum you'll need 25 models, 180 points, although they have a ton of weapon/upgrade options, such as camo or better armor, special weapons like flamers or plasma guns, and better melee weapons on the sergeants and company commander to name a few. It's easy to make a veteran squad that costs 100-150 points if you really pimp them out.

You probably don't want to go and buy the codex before you decide on building the army, but I'd recommend trying to look through a copy of it at a local game store or by other means.

On top of that, how competitive do you want this army to be? As stated by others, ogryns and ratlings are not competitive models. You would think that a higher points value would make a model better, but the balance of 40k is not spot on. For example, ratlings cost almost twice as much as a veteran, but are extremely squishy, and sniper rifles aren't as powerful as you'd like them to be. Nice range and always has a 50% chance of wounding someone regardless of how tough they are, but only a slight chance to pierce armor, meaning you're killing a model a turn or so. While bullgryns are alright, ogryns are pretty bad as well. While they're strong in close combat, they're very slow, which makes it hard to get into combat, and their armor is trash. While they're tough (need high rolls to wound them), their armor is ignored by the majority of weapons in the game. Guard also rely a lot on tanks, you might want things like wyverns for anti-infantry potential, or leman russes for heavier hitting.

I love your ideas for the army, but like I said, guardsmen will always take at least 25 models (or 21 if you're using a lord commissar instead of a command squad, which means no orders to issue, and orders really help guardsmen) to make a legal "combined arms detachment", the standard list for a game, and depending on how competitive you want your army to be you'll need to take some tanks and might be wasting points taking ogryns/ratlings. In general it's just really hard to make a decent guard army at 500 points. I do not however want to discourage you from the awesome idea you have, just that your army will need some tweaks to be usable/good in games.

 DizzyStorey wrote:
What I am thinking and let me know if this isnt going to work but.

Ratlings
Ogryns
Bullygryns
Scions ( maybe depends what they do )
Cattachan Command Squad
Cadian Shock Troopers
Chimera Tank
Sentinal Walker

( Are there any flying ships I should get? )
I have not made any final decisions. I like the Catachan guys in theory but I cant really add any gender diversity to them since they are all pretty much bare chested.
If I take alot of time with the Cadian Squad ( I dont know the difference betwene shock troopers and Command squad ) I can make each one unique with there own persnality and schtick, ethnicity and gender.

Also I was told I need a Commisar, if so than https://www.games-workshop.com/en-WW/Officio-Prefectus-Commissar This one is the most customizable. ( although id really like my own really bad ass commander leading the army if possible.


If going bare bones?
Ratlings, Ogryns, Cadian Troopers, Tank ( Or Vaan or Sentinal ) Valkyrie and A Commander of some sort.

This seems pretty workable. If you want battleforged rather than unbound army, you need more troops (meaning Cadian or Catachan basic troopers in this case) and less elites. In any case, I like the concept.

Try something like this:

HQ:
Command squad with Iron Hand Straken in Chimera (The badass third party female Commander + Catachan command box + Chimera box)

TROOPS:
Veteran Squad x2 (Catachan Trooper box x2)

ELITES:
Ogryn Squad
Bullgryn Squad
Ratling Squad

FAST ATTACK:
Sentinel Squadron (1-3)

This would be almost 1000 points though, so for 500 you need to leave home some of the stuff.

 kingbobbito wrote:
Is this meant for games, or is this more of a hobby project? The issue with guardsmen is that no matter what you're going to be taking a decent number of models. The first thing I'll point out is that if you're aiming for just 500 points you're going to be way over with what you've got so far. Between the ogryns and bullgryns alone you're already looking at 275, and a valkyrie is another 125. Puts you at 400 points, which means you don't have enough to create a legal army unless you bump up to 750 or 1000. A legal army needs to have an HQ, which is either a company command squad (5 models, one being a company commander, 60 points before upgrades) or a lord commissar (65 points before upgrades). You'll also need two troops choices, which at cheapest is 2 veteran squads at 60 points apiece before upgrades. So bare minimum you'll need 25 models, 180 points, although they have a ton of weapon/upgrade options, such as camo or better armor, special weapons like flamers or plasma guns, and better melee weapons on the sergeants and company commander to name a few. It's easy to make a veteran squad that costs 100-150 points if you really pimp them out.

You probably don't want to go and buy the codex before you decide on building the army, but I'd recommend trying to look through a copy of it at a local game store or by other means.

On top of that, how competitive do you want this army to be? As stated by others, ogryns and ratlings are not competitive models. You would think that a higher points value would make a model better, but the balance of 40k is not spot on. For example, ratlings cost almost twice as much as a veteran, but are extremely squishy, and sniper rifles aren't as powerful as you'd like them to be. Nice range and always has a 50% chance of wounding someone regardless of how tough they are, but only a slight chance to pierce armor, meaning you're killing a model a turn or so. While bullgryns are alright, ogryns are pretty bad as well. While they're strong in close combat, they're very slow, which makes it hard to get into combat, and their armor is trash. While they're tough (need high rolls to wound them), their armor is ignored by the majority of weapons in the game. Guard also rely a lot on tanks, you might want things like wyverns for anti-infantry potential, or leman russes for heavier hitting.

I love your ideas for the army, but like I said, guardsmen will always take at least 25 models (or 21 if you're using a lord commissar instead of a command squad, which means no orders to issue, and orders really help guardsmen) to make a legal "combined arms detachment", the standard list for a game, and depending on how competitive you want your army to be you'll need to take some tanks and might be wasting points taking ogryns/ratlings. In general it's just really hard to make a decent guard army at 500 points. I do not however want to discourage you from the awesome idea you have, just that your army will need some tweaks to be usable/good in games.

Do ratlings and Ogryn count toward my 25 model minimum?

 DizzyStorey wrote:

 kingbobbito wrote:
Is this meant for games, or is this more of a hobby project? The issue with guardsmen is that no matter what you're going to be taking a decent number of models. The first thing I'll point out is that if you're aiming for just 500 points you're going to be way over with what you've got so far. Between the ogryns and bullgryns alone you're already looking at 275, and a valkyrie is another 125. Puts you at 400 points, which means you don't have enough to create a legal army unless you bump up to 750 or 1000. A legal army needs to have an HQ, which is either a company command squad (5 models, one being a company commander, 60 points before upgrades) or a lord commissar (65 points before upgrades). You'll also need two troops choices, which at cheapest is 2 veteran squads at 60 points apiece before upgrades. So bare minimum you'll need 25 models, 180 points, although they have a ton of weapon/upgrade options, such as camo or better armor, special weapons like flamers or plasma guns, and better melee weapons on the sergeants and company commander to name a few. It's easy to make a veteran squad that costs 100-150 points if you really pimp them out.

You probably don't want to go and buy the codex before you decide on building the army, but I'd recommend trying to look through a copy of it at a local game store or by other means.

On top of that, how competitive do you want this army to be? As stated by others, ogryns and ratlings are not competitive models. You would think that a higher points value would make a model better, but the balance of 40k is not spot on. For example, ratlings cost almost twice as much as a veteran, but are extremely squishy, and sniper rifles aren't as powerful as you'd like them to be. Nice range and always has a 50% chance of wounding someone regardless of how tough they are, but only a slight chance to pierce armor, meaning you're killing a model a turn or so. While bullgryns are alright, ogryns are pretty bad as well. While they're strong in close combat, they're very slow, which makes it hard to get into combat, and their armor is trash. While they're tough (need high rolls to wound them), their armor is ignored by the majority of weapons in the game. Guard also rely a lot on tanks, you might want things like wyverns for anti-infantry potential, or leman russes for heavier hitting.

I love your ideas for the army, but like I said, guardsmen will always take at least 25 models (or 21 if you're using a lord commissar instead of a command squad, which means no orders to issue, and orders really help guardsmen) to make a legal "combined arms detachment", the standard list for a game, and depending on how competitive you want your army to be you'll need to take some tanks and might be wasting points taking ogryns/ratlings. In general it's just really hard to make a decent guard army at 500 points. I do not however want to discourage you from the awesome idea you have, just that your army will need some tweaks to be usable/good in games.

Do ratlings and Ogryn count toward my 25 model minimum?

Negative. You take 5x in the Company command squad (commander + 4 guardsmen) and then 2x squads of 10x Vets for your troops. Ratlings and Ogryns are both elite choices.

On another note, GW did make a female commissar that you can find on eBay and you can find 3rd party female guardsmen that look similar to Catachans (tank tops and fatigues) but I can't for the life of me remember the company.

 Flanker wrote:

 DizzyStorey wrote:

 kingbobbito wrote:
Is this meant for games, or is this more of a hobby project? The issue with guardsmen is that no matter what you're going to be taking a decent number of models. The first thing I'll point out is that if you're aiming for just 500 points you're going to be way over with what you've got so far. Between the ogryns and bullgryns alone you're already looking at 275, and a valkyrie is another 125. Puts you at 400 points, which means you don't have enough to create a legal army unless you bump up to 750 or 1000. A legal army needs to have an HQ, which is either a company command squad (5 models, one being a company commander, 60 points before upgrades) or a lord commissar (65 points before upgrades). You'll also need two troops choices, which at cheapest is 2 veteran squads at 60 points apiece before upgrades. So bare minimum you'll need 25 models, 180 points, although they have a ton of weapon/upgrade options, such as camo or better armor, special weapons like flamers or plasma guns, and better melee weapons on the sergeants and company commander to name a few. It's easy to make a veteran squad that costs 100-150 points if you really pimp them out.

You probably don't want to go and buy the codex before you decide on building the army, but I'd recommend trying to look through a copy of it at a local game store or by other means.

On top of that, how competitive do you want this army to be? As stated by others, ogryns and ratlings are not competitive models. You would think that a higher points value would make a model better, but the balance of 40k is not spot on. For example, ratlings cost almost twice as much as a veteran, but are extremely squishy, and sniper rifles aren't as powerful as you'd like them to be. Nice range and always has a 50% chance of wounding someone regardless of how tough they are, but only a slight chance to pierce armor, meaning you're killing a model a turn or so. While bullgryns are alright, ogryns are pretty bad as well. While they're strong in close combat, they're very slow, which makes it hard to get into combat, and their armor is trash. While they're tough (need high rolls to wound them), their armor is ignored by the majority of weapons in the game. Guard also rely a lot on tanks, you might want things like wyverns for anti-infantry potential, or leman russes for heavier hitting.

I love your ideas for the army, but like I said, guardsmen will always take at least 25 models (or 21 if you're using a lord commissar instead of a command squad, which means no orders to issue, and orders really help guardsmen) to make a legal "combined arms detachment", the standard list for a game, and depending on how competitive you want your army to be you'll need to take some tanks and might be wasting points taking ogryns/ratlings. In general it's just really hard to make a decent guard army at 500 points. I do not however want to discourage you from the awesome idea you have, just that your army will need some tweaks to be usable/good in games.

Do ratlings and Ogryn count toward my 25 model minimum?

Negative. You take 5x in the Company command squad (commander + 4 guardsmen) and then 2x squads of 10x Vets for your troops. Ratlings and Ogryns are both elite choices.

On another note, GW did make a female commissar that you can find on eBay and you can find 3rd party female guardsmen that look similar to Catachans (tank tops and fatigues) but I can't for the life of me remember the company.

Oh geez thats.. Thats alot of infentry.. Ima gunna have to start getting really creative by the end with faces and names and personalities.
But I have to do what I have to do!

So whats the price on all that? The 500 Point and the 1000 Point Armies that have been suggested.

 DizzyStorey wrote:

 Flanker wrote:

 DizzyStorey wrote:

 kingbobbito wrote:
Is this meant for games, or is this more of a hobby project? The issue with guardsmen is that no matter what you're going to be taking a decent number of models. The first thing I'll point out is that if you're aiming for just 500 points you're going to be way over with what you've got so far. Between the ogryns and bullgryns alone you're already looking at 275, and a valkyrie is another 125. Puts you at 400 points, which means you don't have enough to create a legal army unless you bump up to 750 or 1000. A legal army needs to have an HQ, which is either a company command squad (5 models, one being a company commander, 60 points before upgrades) or a lord commissar (65 points before upgrades). You'll also need two troops choices, which at cheapest is 2 veteran squads at 60 points apiece before upgrades. So bare minimum you'll need 25 models, 180 points, although they have a ton of weapon/upgrade options, such as camo or better armor, special weapons like flamers or plasma guns, and better melee weapons on the sergeants and company commander to name a few. It's easy to make a veteran squad that costs 100-150 points if you really pimp them out.

You probably don't want to go and buy the codex before you decide on building the army, but I'd recommend trying to look through a copy of it at a local game store or by other means.

On top of that, how competitive do you want this army to be? As stated by others, ogryns and ratlings are not competitive models. You would think that a higher points value would make a model better, but the balance of 40k is not spot on. For example, ratlings cost almost twice as much as a veteran, but are extremely squishy, and sniper rifles aren't as powerful as you'd like them to be. Nice range and always has a 50% chance of wounding someone regardless of how tough they are, but only a slight chance to pierce armor, meaning you're killing a model a turn or so. While bullgryns are alright, ogryns are pretty bad as well. While they're strong in close combat, they're very slow, which makes it hard to get into combat, and their armor is trash. While they're tough (need high rolls to wound them), their armor is ignored by the majority of weapons in the game. Guard also rely a lot on tanks, you might want things like wyverns for anti-infantry potential, or leman russes for heavier hitting.

I love your ideas for the army, but like I said, guardsmen will always take at least 25 models (or 21 if you're using a lord commissar instead of a command squad, which means no orders to issue, and orders really help guardsmen) to make a legal "combined arms detachment", the standard list for a game, and depending on how competitive you want your army to be you'll need to take some tanks and might be wasting points taking ogryns/ratlings. In general it's just really hard to make a decent guard army at 500 points. I do not however want to discourage you from the awesome idea you have, just that your army will need some tweaks to be usable/good in games.

Do ratlings and Ogryn count toward my 25 model minimum?

Negative. You take 5x in the Company command squad (commander + 4 guardsmen) and then 2x squads of 10x Vets for your troops. Ratlings and Ogryns are both elite choices.

On another note, GW did make a female commissar that you can find on eBay and you can find 3rd party female guardsmen that look similar to Catachans (tank tops and fatigues) but I can't for the life of me remember the company.

Oh geez thats.. Thats alot of infentry.. Ima gunna have to start getting really creative by the end with faces and names and personalities.
But I have to do what I have to do!

So whats the price on all that? The 500 Point and the 1000 Point Armies that have been suggested.

1x company command squad and 2x vet squads (without upgrades/transports) comes out to 180 pts.

 Flanker wrote:

 DizzyStorey wrote:

 Flanker wrote:

 DizzyStorey wrote:

 kingbobbito wrote:
Is this meant for games, or is this more of a hobby project? The issue with guardsmen is that no matter what you're going to be taking a decent number of models. The first thing I'll point out is that if you're aiming for just 500 points you're going to be way over with what you've got so far. Between the ogryns and bullgryns alone you're already looking at 275, and a valkyrie is another 125. Puts you at 400 points, which means you don't have enough to create a legal army unless you bump up to 750 or 1000. A legal army needs to have an HQ, which is either a company command squad (5 models, one being a company commander, 60 points before upgrades) or a lord commissar (65 points before upgrades). You'll also need two troops choices, which at cheapest is 2 veteran squads at 60 points apiece before upgrades. So bare minimum you'll need 25 models, 180 points, although they have a ton of weapon/upgrade options, such as camo or better armor, special weapons like flamers or plasma guns, and better melee weapons on the sergeants and company commander to name a few. It's easy to make a veteran squad that costs 100-150 points if you really pimp them out.

You probably don't want to go and buy the codex before you decide on building the army, but I'd recommend trying to look through a copy of it at a local game store or by other means.

On top of that, how competitive do you want this army to be? As stated by others, ogryns and ratlings are not competitive models. You would think that a higher points value would make a model better, but the balance of 40k is not spot on. For example, ratlings cost almost twice as much as a veteran, but are extremely squishy, and sniper rifles aren't as powerful as you'd like them to be. Nice range and always has a 50% chance of wounding someone regardless of how tough they are, but only a slight chance to pierce armor, meaning you're killing a model a turn or so. While bullgryns are alright, ogryns are pretty bad as well. While they're strong in close combat, they're very slow, which makes it hard to get into combat, and their armor is trash. While they're tough (need high rolls to wound them), their armor is ignored by the majority of weapons in the game. Guard also rely a lot on tanks, you might want things like wyverns for anti-infantry potential, or leman russes for heavier hitting.

I love your ideas for the army, but like I said, guardsmen will always take at least 25 models (or 21 if you're using a lord commissar instead of a command squad, which means no orders to issue, and orders really help guardsmen) to make a legal "combined arms detachment", the standard list for a game, and depending on how competitive you want your army to be you'll need to take some tanks and might be wasting points taking ogryns/ratlings. In general it's just really hard to make a decent guard army at 500 points. I do not however want to discourage you from the awesome idea you have, just that your army will need some tweaks to be usable/good in games.

Do ratlings and Ogryn count toward my 25 model minimum?

Negative. You take 5x in the Company command squad (commander + 4 guardsmen) and then 2x squads of 10x Vets for your troops. Ratlings and Ogryns are both elite choices.

On another note, GW did make a female commissar that you can find on eBay and you can find 3rd party female guardsmen that look similar to Catachans (tank tops and fatigues) but I can't for the life of me remember the company.

Oh geez thats.. Thats alot of infentry.. Ima gunna have to start getting really creative by the end with faces and names and personalities.
But I have to do what I have to do!

So whats the price on all that? The 500 Point and the 1000 Point Armies that have been suggested.

1x company command squad and 2x vet squads (without upgrades/transports) comes out to 180 pts.

I meant cash price.

I recommend you start by getting the following:

Cadian Command Squad or Catachan Command Squad x1
Cadian Shock Troops or Catacthan Jungle Fighters x2

Whether you get Catachans, Cadians, or mix of both (which would allow you to kitbash more unique looking models) doesn't matter. There is no rules difference, they just look different.
These will be used to build your Company Command Squad and two veteran squads, the bare minimum for a battleforged army.

Ogryns or Bullgryns x1 (It is the same box, build the whichever variant you like the best.)
Ratlings x1


This will cost 150$ directly from GW (+40$ for the codex) and will give you about 500 point battleforged army you can easily expand later.
(Depending on the weapon loadouts you want, you might need to get some extra weapons from bit sellers.)

If you want some weird looking troopers for your army, I recommend you look at the genestealer cult army, in particular the neophyte hybrid kits (both variants). These would make a really fun basis for a guard army from some sort of penal colony/mercenary hideout. Plus, the weapons the models are equipped with (aside from a the mining equipment, which you can just choose not to use) are pretty much all suitable for guard.