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Blundering Broadsides: Bart vs. Darius

After taking the shore from Siege Brisbane, Captain Bartolo Montador had his warjacks repaired and gathered the Dogs with their recovered First Mate Hawk.

"You're owin' me double pay for that action, Captain," she said to Bart.

"Oh, there'll certainly be more pay if we can get to our target," Captain Montador promised.

"Captain Montador! Message from the Crow's Nest! Smokestacks!"

"Damn!" Captain Montador took his spyglass. "Call the Dogs. We're going to have to pull back a little. Let them push to us."

"And then?" asked the Hawk.

"We push back."

After the first game with Thanatos73, I fielded the same army on the same battlefield against Darius (we're very lazy players)

by malfred


"We'll double back and cut em' off here!"

"Sir!" Hawk snapped.

"Well, what is it?"

"Do you notice anything...familiar about this place?"

"Damnit I don't have time for...ah hell."

Bart looked around. It was exactly the same battlefield as the one before.

"Let's make the most of it."

The exact same battlefield
The exact same battlefield

Thanatos73 and I can be very lazy. We left things exactly as they were going so far as to even deploy on the same sides as before.


Talion Charter

Army Points: 496/500

Victory Points: 17

Captain Bartolo Montador




First Mate Hawk

Master Gunner Dougal MacNaile

Sea Dogs (9)

Mariner, Dougall, Bart, Buccaneer, Mule, Sea Dogs, Hawk
Mariner, Dougall, Bart, Buccaneer, Mule, Sea Dogs, Hawk

The same army, but this time I try to optimize my deployment a little better. Captain Bart still does well to hold the center (easier to have warjacks around him) and this time Hawk starts behind the Sea Dogs to take advantage of her Acrobatic movement and SPD 7. If she doesn't run too far ahead I know I'll remember to deploy Sea Dogs nearby to take shots for her.


Army Points: 495/500

Victory Points: 16

Captain E. Dominic Darius




Gun Mage Captain Adept

Halfjacks, Ironclad, Darius, Centurion, Thunderhead, Gun Mage Captain Adept
Halfjacks, Ironclad, Darius, Centurion, Thunderhead, Gun Mage Captain Adept


Even though other armies can wipe out my force with artillery or guns or magic or any other thing, Darius gives me the fits. Probably because I can't run a Darius like force with Amon Ad-Raza. It's all just bitter jealousy. I soothe my pride by telling myself that Darius looks like a walking toilet tank.

Even when I do well against Darius, Fortify, his crane and his feat simply erase any gains I make. Fortify and his crane make his battlegroup highly mobile, and Pit Stop (his feat) makes it even more durable than it already is as he revives his warjacks from the dead.


The Jump

Dougall snapped his spyglass shut.

"They've sent the Tin Man, Cap'n," he said.

"Is that bad?" Hawk asked.

"Can you stop a warjack on your lonesome?"


"Yeah, it's bad. It's a good thing the Cap'n got us the jump. Gives us time for the powder!"

"Your solutions always have more powder."

"Is there anything else, lass?"

Mariner, Dougall, Bart, Buccaneer, Mule, Sea Dogs, Hawk
Mariner, Dougall, Bart, Buccaneer, Mule, Sea Dogs, Hawk

The Buccaneer and Mule both receive focus to run up the field and try to keep up with the Sea Dogs and Hawk. The Mariner simply advances with Dougall as his loader and starts taking ranging shots. Unless the shots hit, there's no point check deviations against the highly armored warjack army (the less armored Gun Mage Captain Adept is hiding in the back). Captain Bart puts Hotshot on the Mariner and slowly advances up the table.

If there's an opening, Hawk will try to slow down the Gun Mage Captain Adept or Darius. The Sea Dogs are just walking pieces of ablative armor that show no fear under the watchful eyes of the First Mate.


Darius tries to shoot a Sea Dog, but misses. The shell of his Steam Cannon deviates into the dirt and will explode on the next turn. He casts Fortify on his Centurion and starts to move his warjacks around it in the event that I remember that I can use warjacks to slam (I never do).

The Gun Mage Captain Adept continues to hide out, waiting for a useful shot.


The Mariner starts the salvo
The Mariner starts the salvo

With Hotshot and Dougall's Artillerist ability, the Mariner starts to pour fire into the warjacks. On its turn it hits the Ironclad while Bart's Broadside causes it to further damage the warjack. Hotshot bonuses against a heavy warjack almost guarantee a hit, though I'm surprised to find that the Ironclad is a DEF 12 warjack (I'm used to Protectorate heavies being DEF 10). With Hotshot and Artillerist, my Mariner needs to roll a 6 for direct hits and I get them with boosted rolls both times.

Hotshot bonuses only boost damage rolls[1]
Nothing but net
Nothing but net

The Buccaneer takes both tries to catch the Centurion with the net. It becomes DEF 7 and next turn it will have to sacrifice either its movement or action, which means no charges against my force this early. It easily could have trashed my Buccaneer with its 2" Reach and Darius's Full Throttle spell. Without the net on it, it could have charged 8" with boosted to-hit rolls!

The Sea Dogs get a little too close to the unexploded Steam Cannon shell (at least that's what I think it is), while the Mule is still too far to do anything other than pray for a deviation onto the Gun Mage Captain Adept. Of course that means it doesn't happen.

Now for my next trick

Gun Mage Captain Adept Abel alerted his commander, the mechanic turned warcaster, Captain Darius.

"He's sent his Dogs after us, sir. Lousy coward is hiding behind his warjacks." The Ironclad seemed to turn its head for a moment at the Gun Mage. "Um, no offense intended."

"That's okay," Captain Darius said, "He knows he can't win in a straight up fight, jack to jack, so we'll have to see to thinning out those numbers a bit."


"Get the Hawk. If you don't, then I think she's going to get you."

Pressure cooker
Pressure cooker

The Pressure Cooker goes off, but the nearest Dog manages to be just outside its heat.


Darius powers the Thunderhead, and it leaves Darius's side to confront the Sea Dogs. He uses an Electro Pulse to target every Sea Dog within 8", and then he powers his fist to make separate ranged attacks to try to finish them off.


Sea Dogs go away, but the Hawk remains, which keeps the rest of them in line and by her side.

The Gun Mage tries for a shot as well, but misses.

If a pressure cooker goes off in a forest, does it make a sound?
If a pressure cooker goes off in a forest, does it make a sound?

Darius fires his Steam Cannon at Hawk. If it had hit, she'd surely be dead as there was no Sea Dog near enough to trigger Sucker! Instead it deviates behind her, harmlessly, in the forest.

I seriously have no idea what's going on in this picture
I seriously have no idea what's going on in this picture

I suspect Dougall uses his feat to give Double Powder Rations to the warjacks, increasing their Range and POW. It would explain the following picture.

Le charge

Sea Dogs tie something up
Sea Dogs tie something up

Multiple Mariner shots turn the Ironclad into a smoking wreck (as opposed to a smoking warjack), and yet another net captures the Centurion. The Buccaneer tries to put a Net down onto the Thunderhead, but at RAT 4 vs. DEF 12, it's not to be.

The AOEs start to take their toll, eliminating at least one Halfjack each turn. Darius continues to poop them out, of course, but the pressure is on.

So the Sea Dogs charge the Thunderhead, while Hawk (who's unable to charge due to the linear obstacle) runs over the wall to engage the Gun Mage Captain Adept.

Predictably, the Sea Dogs do very little damage to the Thunderhead.

The Sea Dogs ran at the towering machine that hummed with an unknown energy. Blue light crackled between spires along its back, but they were Fearless. Each Dog had something to prove. First Mate Hawk had said so.

"Do this for me, boys," she had said before she ran off to kill the Gun Mage.

There was an unspoken promise left in the air, wasn't there?

The first seaman's axe bounced off the warjack's shell. It was going to be a short fight.

Darius takes control

You call that a wrench?
You call that a wrench?

Darius's crane lifts up the Centurion and places it directly into combat with Hawk. He then moves up to stand side by side with the Thunderhead as they start to swing at the hapless pirates.

Cemtiropm smash! Smash?
Cemtiropm smash! Smash?

All the Centurion has to do is hit the lass, and it does. Twice. Each time, she stands back up making her tough rolls.

The Gun Mage draws out his sword and finishes the job.

And then there were 3
And then there were 3

Darius and his Thunderhead deal enough damage to winnow the Sea Dogs down. But it's not enough. First Mate Hawk was still standing when they would have had to make their command check, so they were Fearless at the time. She died afterwards, and so they stand face to face with Darius.

Ow! Quit it!
Ow! Quit it!

Bart moves his Buccaneer up, and charges it to gain 3 extra inches of movement. As he tears into his own warjack, he summons a Typhoon that threatens to knock Darius and his Battlegroup off their feet.

His three Dogs try to charge Darius, but fail to do more than a couple damage to his Powerfield.

The Mule's AOE finally takes care of the Gun Mage Captain Adept.

Hammer time
Hammer time

The Fortified Centurion moves into position beside Darius and the Thunderhead. Though Bart's Typhoon rages above, all of these models will stand.

Secured to his Centurion, Darius drops his hammer and drops the three Sea Dogs to the ground. Every attack then hits, and all the Sea Dogs expire.

Bart's Blunder

An opening
An opening

This picture might not look like it, but Bart has an opening. An opening he doesn't take. An opening he literally runs away from.

Note the position of the Sea Dogs and the position of the Mule. Look at the facing of the Thunderhead.

Could Bart have charged Darius?

Would he have hit?

Would that have Roused his Mule and given it a free charge and +2 to hit?

Should I have had the foresight to load it up with focus for multiple high STR attacks?

Let's just say that once I answered no to Bart's charge, I lost the game.

Run away!
Run away!

Don't know what I'm thinking here.

Pit Stop
Pit Stop

Oh looky! That Ironclad I worked so hard to destroy? Yeah, it's back.

Darius Cruise Missile
Darius Cruise Missile

Crane + Charge + Reach + Full Throttle + Yadda Yadda = Dead Bart

"This is for Siege Brisbane, pirate."

Ten feet of steel crashed into Bart's Powerfield, and broke it.

Post-Battle Thoughts



  1. 1 Leto2 on the PP Boards

  2. Felix

    I blew it. I had the charge and I didn't see it. I saw it right after I moved away from it. For some reason I thought I could do enough damage shooting that I forgot the strength of heavy warjacks was a high concentration of melee power. Even if Darius had ARM 20 at the time a Mule and Bart charging in with full focus on both would have done the job. I'll roll the dice now!


    1. Bart MAT 7 vs. DEF 13 = rolled a 9, hit.
    2. POW 14 vs. ARM 20 = rolled 11, 5 damage
    3. Extra Attack = rolled a 6, hit
    4. POW 14 vs. ARM 20 = rolled 8, 2 damage
    5. Extra Attack = rolled a 7, hit
    6. POW 14 vs. ARM 20 = rolled 4, 0 damage


    1. Mule MAT 5 +2 vs. DEF 13 = rolled 7, hit
    2. POW 16 vs. ARM 20 = rolled 11, 7 damage
    3. Extra Attack = rolled a 6, hit
    4. POW 16 vs. ARM 20 = rolled 7, 3 damage

    Hrm, not quite enough damage. I think I do about 16-18, and Darius has 22.


    First off, I must say that playing Darius isn't exactly hard and he is extremely forgiving of mistakes, but I love Warjacks, so Darius is my go to guy here. As to the battle itself, I did leave Darius exposed, but that was just they way they ended up after the anti-feat Fortify pile. It worked well, as I just craned the Centurion up, Jack Hammer'd it and let it go to town on Bart. Pretty much standard Darius there, but if it ain't broke...

    Again, my thanks to Malf for putting this up, and thanks for a fun two games.


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