or, "How To Talk To Outsiders About Your Hobbies"

"Oh man, I totally blew my shooting phase with my Orks, man. BS 2 sucks so much. My Boomgun scattered off into nowhere, and my Lootas rolled a 1 for their attacks and missed with all 15 shots! His terminators stormed across the table and Lightning Claws and Power Fists just tore me apart."

Okay, we all understand what that means. Now, to the average outsider, we've just said NOTHING. Here's how you say the same thing to somebody who's watching, but doesn't understand the game.

"I'm shooting all my guns at that guy. My tank just missed, and then my guys with really big guns missed; Orks are no good at shooting. Now, see those black armored guys with the spikes and the claws and such? Yeah, they're hurting me really bad with the claws and such. They're really powerful guys."

Okay, now here's how you explain this to somebody that isn't present, and uninitiated, later in the day.

"I played a boardgame with a friend today. I had some bad luck and lost."

For a lot of us, who are socially awkward, the realization that there are people who are unaware of our hobby is difficult to grasp. Even moreso, there are people who don't understand the SETTING.

"Yeah, it's like a medieval fantasy thing." "What?" "You know, dragons and magic and such." "Hunh?" "..."

In these situations, it's best to ignore as much detail as possible, because they won't follow and won't care. But, if you feel the need to have a discussion with somebody about something they don't know a thing about, it's best to do the following things;

Step Number 1 - Establish a Baseline.

Test the person's base in the setting, so you can give them an idea about what you're talking about. Firm understanding of Fantasy/Futuristic? Good. They've read the books or played the games, or whatever, so you can go on talking about Dwarves/Orks/Space Marines/whatever. That's a good point to move forward. If you're having trouble, try and find some things that are similar; Lord of the Rings for fantasy, for instance. If they're that clueless, aim even lower. I had to explain the Fantasy world once by saying "Seen Shrek? Yeah, it's kinda like that." To establish the type of game, try and talk them through it. I tend to describe 40k as like Risk and Chess, but played on a bigger board and with a lot more rules. Most people get that.

Step Number 2 - Give a VERY brief description and background of what you're about to describe.

Don't use the real terms, or explain the real terms in a way that you might use to explain to a three year old. Orks are "angry green aliens." Just about anybody can dig Space marines. "Evil space marines" for Chaos, "space elves," for Eldar, "Robot zombies" for necrons, "giant bug aliens" for Tyranids, and so on.

Step Number 3 - Use very simple explanations and leave ANY game mechanics out of it.

"My robot zombies tried to zap the evil space marines, but they missed and on his turn they shot a bunch of rockets and I lost." Everybody can understand what just happened. "His little guys there just blew up my tank." "He used a magic power that killed all my guys."

Step Number 4 - Never assume that the person can learn.

Never graduate beyond the simplest concepts. I've been LARPing for 7 years now, and to my parents I still have to say "I did that thing I do in the woods this weekend." People will never remember the real words for things unless they're interested and involved. That's just the way it is.

Step Number 5 - Finish the conversation quickly.

Don't prattle on. Remember, your victim doesn't know what you're talking about and that said, very much likely does not care. Keep your story simple and to the point if you have to talk about it (unless the conversation is about getting him to play), and then move on to another topic.

How do you tell people about your hobbies? Do you tell people about your hobbies? Do you have trouble? Have any other tips or fun stories? Share!