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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/27 22:56:38
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Brainless Servitor
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Here's a short story i wrote once, in part to to honor veterans who have been crippled in wars, and partly inspired by the Metallica Song One.
Enjoy.
A flash. Heat. Darkness.
I wake up. I am staring into the blank, expressionless face of an Apothecary. He is studying me, like a butcher studies a slab of meat. I try to blink. Something seems wrong. It takes twenty seconds before I realize.
I have no eyelids.
Terrified, I try to touch my face, but I can’t feel my arms. They’re not there. Neither are my legs. Seeing me struggle, the Apothecary speaks in a hateful monotone.
“You destroyed the walker, brother. However, secondary explosions injured you grievously.” Injured grievously. As if a word like that could describe my death.
“The explosion amputated three of your limbs, and damaged your right arm so badly that it had to be removed as well. Fires melted the majority of your skin. The Emperor smiled on you, however, and your backpack prevented shrapnel from reaching your vital systems.”
He smiled on me, yes. He smiled with irony as he welcomed me into the eternal darkness of a trapped warrior. I know what is in store for me.
“It appears that your brain and spinal cord are intact. You will be able to fight again, but as an Honoured Brother Dreadnought.”
A Dreadnought. I can never kill an enemy with my bare hands again. I’ll never be able to feel the foul blood of the Emperor’s enemies on my face ever again. Glorious battle rendered to mere data.
The Apothecary speaks again in his hatefully flat voice. “We will begin surgery within the hour. You will be entombed in a sacred sarcophagus, which we can place within a Dreadnought.” He must be trying to ignore my broken, crippled form, trying not to see my shame. I hate him for his pity, and it feels good. Hate is all I have left.
An hour passes. I am extracted from my tank of amniotic fluid. The air burns my skinless body. I am placed on a cold metal gurney. The room smells of chemicals, with the faint tang of old blood. The Apothecary is there, with a team of servitors, and a Techmarine. Damn them both, even augumetics are better than this! At least I can strangle the life out of my enemy with metal hands and synthskin. The Techmarine speaks,
“We will be drilling neural sockets into the base of cerebrum and down the length of your spine, so you can connect to the Dreadnought. You are greatly honored, brother.” Honored with imprisonment I can never escape. Damn you.
A servitor turns my body over. They begin drilling into my skull and spine, the servitors holding me down. Their touch is worse than any enemies, for I could never escape it and they expect me to even welcome. If I had arms I could kill them all. If I had legs I could run and die. If I could speak I would stop this madness and urge them to kill me. They insert neural plugs into the holes in my body. They are as cold as implacable death. The Techmarine speaks again.
“Now that the neural plugs are in place, we will inter you into the sacred sarcophagus, from which we will place you in a Dreadnought.”
I feel them pick me up and carry me to that hateful, revered prison. It stinks of engine oil, and incense. My skin burns as that damn techmarine anoints my body with sacred oils and rubs my neural plugs with machine oil. He then inserts the first neural jack into me. It locks into place with a click like the closing of a jail cell. He inserts the rest, chanting in binary. Curse him, and his damn servitors. The sarcophagus is closed, and I am once again in the dark. The sarcophagus front closes like the gates of Hell. I can hear rivets being drilled. They sound like the barking of the hound that was said to guard Hell’s gates.
Suddenly, power floods through the sarcophagus, and I can see again. But it is not true sight. It is data being transferred to my brain by a sensor node outside the sarcophagus. I hear the techmarine speak once more. His voice is full of a disgusting reverence. “You have ascended, honored brother.”
He believes I have ascended? He envies my prison? I think words, but all my sensors pick up is harsh static. The techmarine speaks again, his voice still full of that idiot awe. “If you wish to speak, honored brother, you must think the words 'external address' before any sentence.”
I want to cry out. I want to tear him apart for what he has done, for his sickening worship of this prison he had put me in. But I cannot. It was not he that injured me, and he could not help but worship my new form, slow and ungainly as it is. I cannot let them think I do not enjoy the ability to fight in a new form again. External address. “I am glad to be empowered again, brother.” My voice is harsh and metallic, nothing like it was before. “It is good to be able to speak again.” The Techmarine nods, lapping up my every word. The fool.
“This is good, honored brother. The machine spirit of the Dreadnought has accepted your neural signature. I will exercise you, to help you get used to moving in the sarcophagus. Now, will yourself towards me.”
For the next hour, he trains me in moving in the Dreadnought body. It is clumsy and slow. I do not walk, but waddle on ungainly legs, feeling the stabilizers compensating for the huge weight of the sarcophagus. My arms are thick, ending in powered claws, useful only for tearing through walls ad tank hulls, none of the delicate work I was capable of. At last, I am presented to my Battle-brothers. They look upon me with awe and bow before me and call me “Honored-Brother.” If only they knew what a Hell this prison is. I can see their faces, but not with my own eyes. I can hear their words, but not with my ears. I can feel the soft impacts as they touch my sarcophagus. I talk, and thank them for their praise, in my dead metal voice. It is all data transferred to me by the sensor array, not by my eyes, my ears, my mouth. Damn them all, can’t they see the Hell this prison is?
I am taken back to the armory. I will myself into meditative half-slumber as they shut my systems down. I reflect that this is a taste of the God-Emperor’s torment, trapped forever in a prison of his own making.
I am woken. We are deploying against the foul orks. Orks, the most foul and undeserving of life of all xenos. Perhaps their blood will cleanse me of my hatred of this prison. I am equipped with two clawed arms, one with a storm bolter, the other a flamer.
I am placed within a drop pod, and fired towards the planet. I feel nothing of the heady descent into the atmosphere. I barely feel the impact as my pod crashes into the ground. It is all beyond me now.
The pod opens, and I step out. I am in a plaza, full of orks, battling my brothers. I advance, and some of the beasts see me. They howl and charge me, crude weapons blazing. I can feel their shots pinging on my sarcophagus, and return fire with my storm bolter. They’re bodies burst beneath my shots, and I feel some elation at my deaths, but it is nothing like before. Before, their deaths would have made my heart sing with joy. Now nothing but oil and hydraulic fluid cycles through this beast I am trapped in.
I wade into the mass of orks. They climb on me, trying to crudely batter themselves into my sarcophagus, but my brothers shoot them off, and soon all the orks are butchered. We advance down the street. My targeting reticules find a building full of the greenskins, many already firing despite the extreme range. As we draw closer, their solid round spang off my sarcophagus and I fire back. Some of the orks are killed. More duck and survive. I continue to advance. I get closer. Weapons fire beats against my form in an almost constant rain, but I can’t feel any of it, my sensors tell me this.
I advance into flamer range, and torch the second storey of the building. My sensor registers their bestial screams of pain as their skin sloughs off like mine did not so long ago. I continue walking forwards. My form meets the wall and I push against it. It resists for a moment and the collapses with a crash, crushing orks in debris. I wade through the rubble, burning orks that emerge with fiery promethium. Even when the second storey tumbles down on me I do not pause, pressing onwards.
Suddenly, I see a monstrosity turn the corner. It waddles like I do, with four chopping slicing, sawing arms waving in the air. An ork Dreadnought. The Emperor mocks me with this xenos parody of my prison, just as the orks parody everything about the Imperium. I must destroy it . We advance on each other. I am firing my weapons, and briefly wonder if it feels the same horror at its prison that I do to mine. It is irrelevant. I grapple with it, but its four arms are more maneuverable and it cuts the hydraulic cabling to my right leg, and I topple. It slices open my sarcophagus with its sawblade, and briefly I hope it can kill me and give me peace. A shaft of light breaks into my prison, and I am nearly blinded, but it is welcome, even as its hideous, leering visage looks at me, surely gloating at my helpless form. I hear a shriek, with my real ears, not the shattered sensor array but my real ears, and rejoice in that as I know it will release me of this wretched existence. The krak missile slams into the disgusting face of the ork dreadnought and vaporizes it, saving and damning me in an explosion. If I could sigh, I would. I am resigned to my fate.
I Dreadnought I am, and a Dreadnought I remain.
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And when he gets to Heaven, to St. Peter he will tell. 'One more soldier reporting for duty. I've served my time in Hell.'
The Essential Space Marine Commandments:
Thou shalt not do Spock impersonations around Eldar
Thou shalt not refer to the Rhino transports as "pimp wagons," nor shalt thou use the phrase, "If the Rhino be rockin, don't come a knockin."
Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed."
Thou shalt not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt Not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt NOT unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
My Stories:The Emperor's Justice
Dreadnought
Fluff: Eternal Watchers |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/28 08:21:52
Subject: Re:Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Stalwart Veteran Guard Sergeant
Chicago, Il
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I like it! Angry Dreadnaughts
Great use of smells for the descriptions!
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Sargent! Bring me my brown pants! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/28 08:34:49
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Shroomin Brain Boy
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a very touching story!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/28 10:27:45
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Combat Jumping Garuda
Down Under
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Great story. You use of descreptive language is used quite well and you keep the readers attention throughout the whole story.
NO I am not a teacher.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/28 13:27:23
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Long-Range Ultramarine Land Speeder Pilot
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This is excellent. Although I am not sure this is what a Space Marine would feel, the story is very well written.
Kudos to you.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/30 00:09:33
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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I smell metallica lyrics...
Good story all round.
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/31 23:40:54
Subject: Re:Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Brainless Servitor
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Thanks for the complements all!
cbo, Don't worry about it, i think like that too
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And when he gets to Heaven, to St. Peter he will tell. 'One more soldier reporting for duty. I've served my time in Hell.'
The Essential Space Marine Commandments:
Thou shalt not do Spock impersonations around Eldar
Thou shalt not refer to the Rhino transports as "pimp wagons," nor shalt thou use the phrase, "If the Rhino be rockin, don't come a knockin."
Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed."
Thou shalt not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt Not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt NOT unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
My Stories:The Emperor's Justice
Dreadnought
Fluff: Eternal Watchers |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/01 01:53:58
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Monstrous Master Moulder
Secret lab at the bottom of Lake Superior
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It goes against the standard fluff and gives a good new twist on it. Me likey; keep it up.
What I mean to say is: WRITE MORE, DAMMIT!
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Commissar NIkev wrote:
This guy......is smart |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/02 17:55:23
Subject: Re:Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Brainless Servitor
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Thanks a lot, bro! Unfortunately, I'm adding more to this, but I am writing another story called The Emperor's Justice, which you may like, as well as other things i want to write in (hopefully) the near future.
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And when he gets to Heaven, to St. Peter he will tell. 'One more soldier reporting for duty. I've served my time in Hell.'
The Essential Space Marine Commandments:
Thou shalt not do Spock impersonations around Eldar
Thou shalt not refer to the Rhino transports as "pimp wagons," nor shalt thou use the phrase, "If the Rhino be rockin, don't come a knockin."
Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed."
Thou shalt not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt Not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt NOT unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
My Stories:The Emperor's Justice
Dreadnought
Fluff: Eternal Watchers |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/02 21:34:52
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Monstrous Master Moulder
Secret lab at the bottom of Lake Superior
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That's just what I was hoping for. Glad to hear it.
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Commissar NIkev wrote:
This guy......is smart |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/02 21:38:42
Subject: Re:Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Brainless Servitor
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Ach, i said i would add more to this. I apologize for my oversight, I meant i wasnt adding more to this  Now i feel bad for misleading you. Very sorry for the confusion.
Even so, feel free to view my other works and enjoy them. : P
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/02 21:39:24
And when he gets to Heaven, to St. Peter he will tell. 'One more soldier reporting for duty. I've served my time in Hell.'
The Essential Space Marine Commandments:
Thou shalt not do Spock impersonations around Eldar
Thou shalt not refer to the Rhino transports as "pimp wagons," nor shalt thou use the phrase, "If the Rhino be rockin, don't come a knockin."
Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed."
Thou shalt not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt Not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt NOT unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
My Stories:The Emperor's Justice
Dreadnought
Fluff: Eternal Watchers |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/02 21:59:53
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Monstrous Master Moulder
Secret lab at the bottom of Lake Superior
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Just read and commented on "The Emp's Justice". Keep it up.
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Commissar NIkev wrote:
This guy......is smart |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/13 00:37:28
Subject: Re:Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Stormin' Stompa
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You should right about a story of the time he gets an itchy nose, THE HORROR!
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Ask yourself: have you rated a gallery image today? |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/13 16:15:43
Subject: Re:Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Lord of the Fleet
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Excellent stuff.
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Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress
+Spaceship Gaming Enthusiast+
Live near Halifax, NS? Ask me about our group, the Ordo Haligonias! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/14 08:57:24
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Chaplain with Hate to Spare
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! It was a great work of writing, however, I can't help but feel it ended rather prematurely. I was looking forward to the combat, but then the Dreadnought just decided he wanted to die.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/14 19:54:10
Subject: Re:Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Oberfeldwebel
Palma de Mallorca, Spain
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Excellent! i enjoyed it... i'm not sure if a SM really feel like this one... but you can feel somehow the despair and grief of this one
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/14 19:57:45
2000 foot sloging IG
Cataphracts.... need to recalculate points....
Iron warriors waiting for more bucks with a better job
4th Panzerdivision Ost waiting for orders Reichmarschall!!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 20:59:23
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Brainless Servitor
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Thanks for reading all!
Darkvoid, your complaint is valid, but idea the dreadnought feels that there is no escape from the hell he feels other than death and the Deff Dread is the perfect way to obtain it.
He simply feels life is not worth living as a Dreadnought.
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And when he gets to Heaven, to St. Peter he will tell. 'One more soldier reporting for duty. I've served my time in Hell.'
The Essential Space Marine Commandments:
Thou shalt not do Spock impersonations around Eldar
Thou shalt not refer to the Rhino transports as "pimp wagons," nor shalt thou use the phrase, "If the Rhino be rockin, don't come a knockin."
Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed."
Thou shalt not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt Not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt NOT unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
My Stories:The Emperor's Justice
Dreadnought
Fluff: Eternal Watchers |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/16 08:09:13
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Chaplain with Hate to Spare
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Rebel Scum wrote:Thanks for reading all!
Darkvoid, your complaint is valid, but idea the dreadnought feels that there is no escape from the hell he feels other than death and the Deff Dread is the perfect way to obtain it.
He simply feels life is not worth living as a Dreadnought.
That's heresy  . All Space Marines think being a Dreadnought is a great honour, and even when they find out how torturous it is, they serve dutifully, because they must.
But I can imagine this story as plausible; not all Marines are as strong of heart and mind as they "ought to be".
Still, I'd very much like to read more work from you.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/17 22:41:16
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Brainless Servitor
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Darkvoidof40k wrote:That's heresy.
How dare you insinuate that I, the Grand Cardinal Inquisitor Warmaster, am a heretic! Heresy upon you!
But seriously, you are probably right, but this one may have had a slip in resolve. My view is that he loved the feeling of battle, of killing an enemy with his bare hands and staring into his eyes so much that he hated beig taken away from that. It is arguably a slip in resolve.
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And when he gets to Heaven, to St. Peter he will tell. 'One more soldier reporting for duty. I've served my time in Hell.'
The Essential Space Marine Commandments:
Thou shalt not do Spock impersonations around Eldar
Thou shalt not refer to the Rhino transports as "pimp wagons," nor shalt thou use the phrase, "If the Rhino be rockin, don't come a knockin."
Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed."
Thou shalt not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt Not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt NOT unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
My Stories:The Emperor's Justice
Dreadnought
Fluff: Eternal Watchers |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/18 08:26:44
Subject: Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Chaplain with Hate to Spare
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Rebel Scum wrote:Darkvoidof40k wrote:That's heresy.
How dare you insinuate that I, the Grand Cardinal Inquisitor Warmaster, am a heretic! Heresy upon you!
But seriously, you are probably right, but this one may have had a slip in resolve. My view is that he loved the feeling of battle, of killing an enemy with his bare hands and staring into his eyes so much that he hated beig taken away from that. It is arguably a slip in resolve.
True, but a Space Marine would always attempt to kill their enemy in any way possible so as to fulfil their duty. But yes, a 'slip' or rather complete breakdown and loss of resolve could explain this.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/20 22:31:40
Subject: Re:Dreadnought(40k Short Story)
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Brainless Servitor
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Indeed, sir lol
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And when he gets to Heaven, to St. Peter he will tell. 'One more soldier reporting for duty. I've served my time in Hell.'
The Essential Space Marine Commandments:
Thou shalt not do Spock impersonations around Eldar
Thou shalt not refer to the Rhino transports as "pimp wagons," nor shalt thou use the phrase, "If the Rhino be rockin, don't come a knockin."
Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed."
Thou shalt not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt Not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
Thou shalt NOT unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
My Stories:The Emperor's Justice
Dreadnought
Fluff: Eternal Watchers |
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