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Alright, so this was a battle I had around last week, between some of my younger brothers friends (I was incredibly desperate to get my nids on the table), me, and my older brother who kinda sorta knows the rules (Read: He thinks he knows the rules, but they seem to change every other turn).
So, I was playing nids, had my entire force on the table (Hive tyrant, 12 hormagaunts, 12 fleshborer Termagaunts, and 8 genestealers waiting to be deployed), One of the others was Orks with a warboss and around 20 or so boys, another with my old DE sets (1 raider, 20 kabalite warriors, 10 wyches, 5 scourges and a broken archon), my younger brother with his chaos (10 marines, 4 cultists), and my older brother with an infinte horde of space marines (Oh, the magic of money) but he only had 4 deployed (2 bikes and 2 jet marines) because apparently that circumvents all deployment rules or some gak (Yeah, ok). Why did we have 5 players on a small table? Because we freakin could.
The first turn was all of us doing nothing at all, the chaos and Dark eldar made an alliance and kinda moved foward something close to an inch, the orks did nothing but be confused and not understand what was happening at all, I moved my tyrant foward to around mid table (How?) with the gaunts staying back, the Wolves spouted some thing about "Tonight I'm the Chinese" (Spoilers: He wasn't) and rushed the Chaos with the bikes, shooting the jets into the middle of the orks

Round two. My hive tyrand fires his gun (Which is apparently a blast gun?) at the DE, killing litterally 2 of them then shot again (BECAUSE HE CAN!) at the jet marines killing all the (Mostly) orks, orks remained confused and moved an inch, Dark eldar fired some shots at my tyrant (Some how wound up rolling 10 dice for a squad?) all of which missed me in my infinte glory then at the bike, the chaos moved around 6 inches and tried to shoot the orks, again missing everyone. Then the wolves do nothing because almost all of them are dead, and he remains cocky as hell.

Round 3, deployment round. Wolves man deploys a gak ton of space marines right behind me (YOU CANNOT fething DO THAT, ALRIGHT?), and I deploy some genestealers around the map, mostly behind the chaos. I obviously use my tyrant to fire at the gak ton of Wolves behind me, hitting exactly 2 of them (They died though) had my Hormagaunts rush them (They all fething lost) and my termagaunts adjust to shoot them, orks did nothing of intrest, DE killed the orks, and the chaos freaked over my genestealers but mostly ignored them, and the marines had the bike that was in the middle of the Chaos explode (This I let slide because we where playing with Badass descriptions on, so describe something badass, and with out condition that happens.)

Round 4, the round of almost ending. Every one but me and wolf man was bored (We where the only two who actually played the game, we gave the others our older collected armys to play.). I shot at the Marines some more, killing nothing, but killing most of my gaunts.. Orks had died some where in the past round, the Dark eldar and the chaos shot the hell out of my tyrant, missing (WHY DO THEY SUCK SO MUCH?), and the marines moved the HQ foward and tried to use a psychic move on me, looking cocky as hell, and he would have hit had I not looked at him (Being a total donkey-cave), and said "Shadow in the warp, bitch", which destroyed that entire attack plan. Since he was already in attack phase, he couldnt do anything else (But kill the rest of my Hormagaunts).

Round 5: The age of ending. My turn again! Tyrant shot directly at the wolves HQ, killing him, and rendering the wolves dead completly. My genestealers killed the Chaos HQ positioned towards the back, and the Dark eldar just gave up.

So battle report.

Many tactics.

Such WH40k.

Wow!

Thanks Doge

Greatest battle report ever?

Possibly.

 BlaxicanX wrote:
Greatest battle report ever?

Possibly.

Why the doubt?

 BlaxicanX wrote:
Greatest battle report ever?

Possibly.

Possibly?

Ok... I laughed.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
And I'm loving it.

This is gold. I want more.

haha sounds like a lot of fun, thanks for sharing! Very reminiscent of my early games.

Still read it though, and I love it. That was the greatest deny the witch roll I have ever seen.

Im in absolute stitches here, brilliant stuff.
Next time snap a few shots of the gang playing and their reactions.

So battle report.

Many tactics.

Such WH40k.

Wow!

Thanks Doge

Stream of consciousness battle reports, the wave of the future! Incidentally this was a very amusing read, especially since it reads as if Engrish.

This is the most glorius battle report I've ever read.

 Hive Fleet Cerberus wrote:
...and the marines had the bike that was in the middle of the Chaos explode (This I let slide because we where playing with Badass descriptions on, so describe something badass, and with out condition that happens.)

BADASS DESCRIPTIONS off

[select]

BADASS DESCRIPTIONS on

I've just discovered I've been playing this game wrong for years...

 the_Armyman wrote:

 Hive Fleet Cerberus wrote:
...and the marines had the bike that was in the middle of the Chaos explode (This I let slide because we where playing with Badass descriptions on, so describe something badass, and with out condition that happens.)

BADASS DESCRIPTIONS off

[select]

BADASS DESCRIPTIONS on

I've just discovered I've been playing this game wrong for years...

I know right.. I kinda wanna play a game with Badass Descriptions On now xD

Otto Weston wrote:

 the_Armyman wrote:

 Hive Fleet Cerberus wrote:
...and the marines had the bike that was in the middle of the Chaos explode (This I let slide because we where playing with Badass descriptions on, so describe something badass, and with out condition that happens.)

BADASS DESCRIPTIONS off

[select]

BADASS DESCRIPTIONS on

I've just discovered I've been playing this game wrong for years...

I know right.. I kinda wanna play a game with Badass Descriptions On now xD

This. I want badass descriptions to be a thing now, I'm dying.

That battle report made me think of these guys.

It's like my first game of 40k all over again.




You just kicked me right in the nostalgia.

Should be noted that Wolves man is 20 or 21. Make of that what you will