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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 01:42:27
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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Ok, so this thread owes its existence to the Star Wars lines that could be improved by replacing a word with "pants": http://www.keepersoflists.org/index.php?lid=1906 and a thread in the old D&D forums.
The Idea is to take phrases, rules, or abilities out of Warhammer rulebooks, codexes, and army books, and make them funnier bay adding or substituting the word pants. In the case of abilities or weapons, an explanation is suggested.
I'll start:
1. Macharian Pants: an award presented to officers in recognition of innovative and successful implementation of pants.
2. Melta Pants: for those who wish to destroy a tank and care not for their reproductive capabilities
(Number your entries)
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Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 02:02:11
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Killer Klaivex
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This should be in the chain fiction forum if you ask me.
I could think of some good ones, given time. I don't have any of the books with me, but I got some names...
Abbadon the pants-Despoiler (lame)
Pants of the Gods (Fantasy WoC)
Huron Blackpants
Man this is terrible.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 02:05:16
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon
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Ragnar Pantsmane
The Watchers In The Pants (Dark Angels)
Warlord Class Battle Pants
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 02:39:09
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Killer Klaivex
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Gorgutz Pants'unta
Pantshunters
Flash Pantz
Mad Pants Grotsnik
I will never live this down.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 02:41:47
Subject: Re:40k Pants thread
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Vulcan mega-pants: More glittery than a disco ball.
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 02:46:39
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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Cheese Elemental wrote:Gorgutz Pants'unta : His endless search for pants leads him to only the most flamboyant planets
Pantshunters: Orks that have the questionable battlefield ritual of removing their enemies pants and exchanging their own.
Flash Pantz: nuff said
Mad Pants Grotsnik: Normally well adjusted (for an ork), he has gone insane due to his very itchy pants
I will never live this down.
Now for some key building strategems:
13. Command Pants strategem: This might be a pair of pants attached to the upper stories of the building to aid the control of nearby forces.
14. Pants Facility: this building contains medical pants, aoutomed pants, pants dispensers, healing pants, or other stores useful for keeping an army full clothed.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/04/29 02:47:02
Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 02:47:32
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Da Head Honcho Boss Grot
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Terminator Pants: Confer a 2+ armor save and a 5+ invulnerpants save to it's wearer.
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Anuvver fing - when they do sumfing, they try to make it look like somfink else to confuse everybody. When one of them wants to lord it over the uvvers, 'e says "I'm very speshul so'z you gotta worship me", or "I know summink wot you lot don't know, so yer better lissen good". Da funny fing is, arf of 'em believe it and da over arf don't, so 'e 'as to hit 'em all anyway or run fer it. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 02:49:43
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Da Head Honcho Boss Grot
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Pants march: Allows units in reserve to come in from your opponent's pants.
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Anuvver fing - when they do sumfing, they try to make it look like somfink else to confuse everybody. When one of them wants to lord it over the uvvers, 'e says "I'm very speshul so'z you gotta worship me", or "I know summink wot you lot don't know, so yer better lissen good". Da funny fing is, arf of 'em believe it and da over arf don't, so 'e 'as to hit 'em all anyway or run fer it. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 03:13:58
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Killer Klaivex
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I'll give the names, you guys do the descriptions.
Pants Tactics
Pants Kantor
Pantsguard Veterans
Vox Pants
The Will of Pants
Artificer Pants
Flak Pants
Carapace Pants
Power Pants
'Eavy Pants
Leman Pants
Banepants
Swooping Pants
Howling Pants
Pants Scorpions
That should keep you busy.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 03:25:18
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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Ok, I'll take three (edit: all of them!) for now:
17. Pants Tactics: Every Chapter master differs in his interpretation of the usage of pants.
18. Pants Kantor: Leader of the Crimson Pants (don't ask)
19. Pantsguard Veterans: Drop out of the sky to destroy would be pants thieves.
20. Vox Pants: These pants speak to me.
21. The Will of the Pantsperor: Do not trust the foul xenos pants
22. Artificer Pants: "Just paint them more 'ornate' looking"
23. Flak Pants: When the flak vest just isn't enough (that would be all the time)
24. Carapace Pants: There's not such thing as too much groin protection.
25. Power Pants: To go with your power tie.
26. 'Eavy Pants: Very well painted pants.
27. Leman Pants: You can't tell, but all the imperial tank commanders are wearing them.
28. Banepants: These pants can fire at multiple targets.
29. Swooping Pants: come with fins for easy gliding.
30. Howling Pants: "It feels like someone with a fever is yelling in my pants"
31. Pants Scorpions: Able to move swiftly through rough pants tho sting the most vulnerable bits.
(edit, more added)
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/04/29 06:24:29
Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 06:13:32
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Scouting Shade
Toronto
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Ragnar Pantsmane
The Watchers In The Pants (Dark Angels)
Warlord Class Battle Pants
Win. Thread over!
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Armies:
Angels of Absolution 1500pts
Vostroyans 500pts
Dark Elves 2000pts
Warriors of Chaos 1500pts |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 07:03:39
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Junior Officer with Laspistol
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Pants for the pants god!!!
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"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."-Groucho Marx
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 08:15:32
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Spreading the word of the Turtle Pie
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Ghazgul Thraka, profit of da pantz.
Crushing pants.
Broadpants battlesuit.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 08:15:42
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Member of the Malleus
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32: Pants Marine
33: Lesser Pants
34: Blood Pants
35: Pants Angels
35: Ultrapants
36: Iron Pants
37: Pants Warrior
38: Lightning Pants
39: The Thousand Pants
40: Pantsdakka Gutzmek
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 08:20:19
Subject: Re:40k Pants thread
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Gift of Pants: Turns your pants into a chaos spawn while they're still on you.
Pantsbolt: Superheats the buttons on your pants until they burn you
Lash of Pants: Rips your pants right the f**k off and waves them in the air to taunt you!
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 11:04:36
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Killer Klaivex
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Vortex of Pants: Sucks the pants off all in the vicinity into the warp, leaving them with cold, shrunken balls and trying hard to cover up.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 11:05:00
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Servoarm Flailing Magos
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Rules:
43: Pants Shock!
44: Pants allocation
45: Pants or Glory
46: Movement in Difficult Pants
47: Dangerous Pants test
48: Check to see if in pants
Universal Special Rules
49: Enternal Pants
50: Furious Pants
51: Fleet of pants
52: Vulnerable to Pants
53: Move through difficult pants
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 11:18:04
Subject: Re:40k Pants thread
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Killer Klaivex
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Time for some modified quotes:
"One way or another, child, Chaos will open up your pants. That I promise you." - Warriors of Chaos army book
"Fear me, mortals, for I am the Anointed, the favoured Son of Chaos, the scourge of the world. The pants of the Gods rally behind me, and it is by my will and my sword that your weakling pants shall fall." - Archaon the Everchosen
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 13:27:06
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Spreading the word of the Turtle Pie
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The Pants Helm, carried by one of the Watchers in the Pants.
XV88 Crisis Battlepants.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/04/29 17:05:42
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 15:07:27
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Lord Commander in a Plush Chair
In your base, ignoring your logic.
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Pants Shock: During ones moving phase, any model wearing pants may declare "PANTS SHOCK". Upon doing so, the player rolls 2 D6 towards selected target. If the target is within range, the model removes his/her pants and charges the enemy with the pants around his/her ankles. Roll for dangerous terrain. If it passes, the pants shock carries out as normal, if it fails, the model trips over his/her pants and must take an armor save. A model being pants shocked will roll for morale. Failing will cause the model to flee D6 in the direction of a scatter dice. If the scatter dice rolls a direct hit, the models being pants shocked are removed from play. If the scatter moves the unit towards the pants shocker, the unit is removed from play along with the pants shocker. If the unit being pants shocked passes morale, they laugh at the pants shocker and the pants shocker must take a morale test. If the pants shocker passes morale he/she goes into a blind rage and kills the pants shocked unit(remove them from play), if the pants shocker fails this morale test he/she gets his/her feelings hurt. The armor save is -1 of the original armor seeing as though they have pulled down a part of their armor revealing a weakspot. An armor save of 6+ is always allowed as long as the model had an armor save of 5+ or 6+ before the -1 takes effect.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/04/29 15:08:30
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 17:49:31
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Widowmaker
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The loyal slave learns to love the pants.
Heresy begets pants.
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DS:80S++G+++M----B--I--Pwmhd03/f#+D++A++++/sWD250R++T(S)DM+++
Elvis needs boats. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 18:25:42
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Lord Commander in a Plush Chair
In your base, ignoring your logic.
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Leman Russ Pants variant.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 18:48:20
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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In the grim darkness of the future, there are only pants.
In the grim pants of the future, there is only laundry.
GW says that the pantaloons were devoured by a tyranid army.
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In the dark future, there are skulls for everyone. But only the bad guys get spikes. And rivets for all, apparently welding was lost in the Dark Age of Technology. -from C.Borer |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 18:50:54
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Lord Commander in a Plush Chair
In your base, ignoring your logic.
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Curse now the pants in vain.
Pantsinatus has been issued, have a nice day.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 19:39:32
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Spreading the word of the Turtle Pie
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There is no such thing as innocence, only varying degrees of pants.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/29 23:30:08
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Killer Klaivex
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Blessed is the mind too small for pants.
Cowards die in pants.
Small pants are easily filled with doubt.
Suffer not the pants to live.
Purge the pants.
Burn the pants.
Open pants are like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/30 00:39:01
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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Mekboy wrote:The Pants Helm, carried by one of the Watchers in the Pants.
XV88 Crisis Battlepants.
I was waiting for someone to mention the tau and their battlepants. My favorite are the stealth pants, no one can tell you're wearing them.
"You must face the pants squarely and without flinching from duty. Our enemies are pants no longer. Mercy for such as they is a chimera, pants-deception is its only ally. Dedicate these pants given unto your hand at the behest of the Pantsperor, to their destruction. Regard its function as your only duty; you live only to bring pants. Take up your cargos and corduroys, your khakis and pinstripes, and go forth"
-Galbus Heer-Lecutres to the Ordo Pantsus
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Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/30 05:37:12
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Widowmaker
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Mekboy wrote:There is no such thing as shorts, only varying degrees of pants.
Fixed.
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DS:80S++G+++M----B--I--Pwmhd03/f#+D++A++++/sWD250R++T(S)DM+++
Elvis needs boats. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/30 06:00:21
Subject: Re:40k Pants thread
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Storm Trooper with Maglight
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For the Greater Pants!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/04/30 09:53:58
Subject: 40k Pants thread
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Killer Klaivex
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I got some from the Dark Heresy critical hit charts...
With a mighty chop, the pants come away at the hip. The target pitches to the ground howling in agony, before dying a moment later.
With a sound not unlike a wet sponge being torn in half, the target's pants fly free of their body and sails through the air, landing harmlessly 2d10 metres away with a soggy thud. The target is instantly slain.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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