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The forum is yelling at me for not posting for over a week, and I'm in a procrastinating type of mood (don't feel like the painting, or writing those papers that need to get done...), so I'm gonna throw some stuff up on here I've had tumble about in the head in hopes to get some pointers pertaining to my prose. Please note this is a "Rough" (being the operative word) draft, so I am hoping to get some feedback on where I've taken these ideas, and where I might be able to look for improvement of said ideas.

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The Koto House served the Emperor of Man long ago, when he was just that: a Man... Their service made them extremely wealthy and earned them an early Warrant of Trade. As one of the families of daring explorers sent out into the Galaxy in the name of the Imperial Truth, the Koto did much to spread the reach of the Emperor among the stars. They would serve honorably and with close ties to the Ultramarines spread into the eastern fringe of the galaxy, until the Horus Heresy. Having settled the world of Jokano, a typically temperate world, a little cooler than Holy Terra, but altogether quite hospitable to human habitation. Rumours abounded that the Koto sought to increase their power even further, but nothing was ever done overtly, and the Koto had served a long time, so the rumours remained just that. Here The Night Lords would spread their wave of terror, and the Koto would be destroyed.

Time would tick on, and all knowledge of the Koto would pass from history. Cid of Espandor is born. Cid, son of Sid, was a hearty lad, a fine explorer on his home planet, and considered in initial screening to become an Ultramarine. He was not selected. Instead, Cid would become a great and mighty warrior in the battle against, uncleanliness. His mighty mop would scour bacteria from the floor of his merchant master's trade vessel, The Badoff, as it skirted through the warp. One day when cleaning the ejection escape system (in which the merchant had vomited when testing not long before), the Badoff would fall prey to the denizens of the warp. The horrid screams of his ship mates would echo in his ears as Cid closed the hatch and fired himself towards the Planet below.

Cid, son of Sid, poured himself out of the escape system and onto the surface of Jokano covered in his own vomit. Here Cid set off to find shelter and hope help might be sent for the escape pods distress. He wasn't holding his breath. One day when searching for food in the nearby woods, Cid came across the remains of what appeared to be a temple. He avoided the place for the next year, until he finally caution yielded to curiosity. Inside was a vast hold, and at the very center was the Koto Warrant of Trade, and the very heretical AI that had run the Koto temple for so long. The AI introduced himself as the Koto Ancestry Store, and Cid, suffering from the delusions of his prolonged solitude on Jokano, was happy to have a friend. Kas, as Cid would come to call his computerized friend, would help Cid to restart the ancient systems found on the Jokano. Cid would eventually allow Kas to implant a Mind Impulse Unit, and upload himself into Cid's system.

Not long after the union of Cid and Kas, a pirate crew would identify the wreckage of the Badoff's ejected landing pod and land to investigate. Finding Cid and the Temple, the pirates would quickly capture Cid and remove the Warrant of trade from the planet in hopes they might ransom off the "Rogue Trader Cid Koto of Jokano, Keeper of Kas". The pirates landing crew would leave the psurface to return to their ship, and upon heading to the Imperial Controlled region of Ultramar, would be boarded by Imperial Forces. Recognizing the Warrant of Trade as a right to command, the Imperial Forces allowed Cid control of the ship, and a small contingent of men with which to run it. The men were left for Cid (more Kas in reality) thanks to an agreement with the Imperial Officer, for a hearty sum.

Years would wind on, and Cid, under the guidance of Kas, would become a shrewd trader, and quite successful on the eastern fringe. He was however plagued with the conflicting ideas of the God Emperor that Cid was raised to worship, and the Imperial Truth that Kas had stored from so many years before. Kas, had been programmed to hide his presence at the very start of his existence, and realized his continued survival, and the survival of the Koto line was paramount in order to find a way to recommence the spreading of the Imperial Truth, his primary function. So, Cid would eventually return to Jokano in his old age, and follow Kas down to the vaults of heretical technology stored away by the Koto line. Mostly broken down, there was one piece Cid would fix, and this would allow for him to clone himself.

Jokano would become a successful center for trade, and the Rogue Trader Cid Koto, son of Cid and Kas, would continue to rule along with the aid of the High Council of Jokano, which his father would be instrumental in founding. Millennia would pass and the Cid and Kas would continue to pass down their memories, and hide their secret from authority within the Imperium that would snuff them out. Many times Cid would be nearly found in possesion of his mental passenger, but with each escape he would become all the wiser.

Eventually the Tau Empire would spread into Jokano's realm, and in order to assuage any doubts with the the Xenos, Cid would dutifully report all of his dealings with the Water Caste merchant and negotiators sent to Jokano. Recognizing the Tau's desire to control Jokano, Cid would seek the aid of Imperium; however there would be none. The Imperium would not respond to the request due in large part to the launch of the Damocles Gulf Crusade. Recognizing the need to escape from Jokano due to the added scrutiny brought about by the Military actions in the system, Cid desperately searched for any opportunity to take his great wealth and damning technology stores to the stars.

The Imperium's success against the Tau brought renewed focus on the Temple of Koto, and the rumours of Xeno and Heretical technology that had begun to circulate on Jokano. Hive Fleet Behemoth offered that perfect distraction, and not a moment to soon. Cid Kas Koto took to the stars with his stash of technology and sought out the Tau Water Caste whom he had struck deals with in order to preserve his stores of technology, and more importantly, the Imperial Truth. Cid would prove an invaluable ally to the Tau during the Tyranid invasion, and would be accepted into the Tau Empire, but with the usual reservations the Tau show men.

In the next Tyrannic and Tau conflict Ci'Kas Koto, the Graveless, would fight in defense of the Tau Empire against the Tyranid invasion by Hive fleet Gorgon. Using a modified battle suit, Ci'Kas would fight with a hastily prepared defense against the Nid invasion. The Etheral with with his defense would fall, and Ci'Kas along side Shas'O Gue'ret would hold the line, but only barely long enough to withdraw the combined forces from the planet and retreat back towards the Imperium of man. Here, without the supervision of the Etheral's, Ci'kas would recognize a freedom of thought in the Fire Warrior's retreating with him. Shas'O Gue'ret had known Ci'Kas all his life, Ci'Kas had instructed him and his name relflected that. Shas'O Gue'ret, translated roughly to human trained, owed a great deal of his success to the wisdom that Ci'Kas had imparted to him, and when Ci'Kas asked him to leave the Tau Empire and bring his Cadre with him, freed of Etheral interference he did.

Ci'Kas Koto, the Graveless, begins to draw warriors to his banner in the name of the Galactic Truth. As Ci'Kas watches another Millennium draw to a close, necessary alterations to the Imperial Truth must be made. Time with the Tau fighting against the Nids has altered Ci'kas thinking ever so slightly. The sentient forces of the Galaxy must use their reason to see the truth of science and progress. This is the Truth Ci'kas Koto knows to be true. This is the Truth he will fight for. This is the Truth.


All that is yet written of the story of Ci'Kas Koto, The Graveless, Keeper of the Truth
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So there it is. It kinda just kept on coming, haha, but when you're going I guess you gotta go. I know it is long, but if there are any glaring holes in it, I would appreciate them being pointed out so I might fix them up. Thanks!

Anybody think I should break this down into smaller chunks? Seems like it might be longer than people want to read...

It's a touch out of character...
For Cid i mean.
A person who spends their entire life cleaning isn't simply going to step up and become a Rogue trader...
Different skill sets and also different mind sets...
He wouldn't ally with the Tau over the Imperium either...
The contract letting them become Rogue traders is to them by the Imperium, some by the Emperor himself.
Also i don't get why he allys with the Tau...
He is trying to avoid them and asks for help from the Imperium who refuse but then wen the Tau are under attack from the Tyranids he joins them...

First, I would just like to thank you for wading through what (makes perfect sense in my head because that is where it all comes from) may not be the easiest read on the dakka forums. Second the response is greatly appreciated.

K, so this gets to some meat of the thing: Cid is stranded on planet. His mind flirts with abandoning him. Cid has an MIU implanted on Jokano where the Koto's (rogue trader dynasty, pre-horus heresy) AI is uploaded.

Heretical, but they were in to collecting that sorta thing, and there was not an Inquisition back then... Was there pre HH =I=?

AI uploads himself into Cids mind? is that possible with a MIU implant. If so, would the AI (Koto Ancestry Store, or Kas) be able to use his combined Rogue Trader experience, programmed by the Koto Dynasty, in place of Cid's faltering Mind.

The Warrant of Trade could be used by anyone claiming to be of that hereditary line, as long as they continued to fulfill the their obligations to that particular Warrant, correct?
Side question, if a Warrant of Trade (as is the case in this story) was to hold the Trader to spreading the Imperial Truth as an obligation and was reportedly signed by the Emperor, how would the IoM respond to that? (Because of the Logical paradox of being told to spread atheism signed by God?)

The Alliance with the Tau is to escape Inquisitorial "Justice". Kas (The Ai in Cid's head) is a combination of the Koto experience during the Great Crusade. Kas' designed function is the complete spread of the Imperial Truth. (This would be altered to the Galactic truth after Cid + Kas' struggle with his own existence (KAS is an AI, not HUman), and the attachment to Gue'Ret, the Fire Warrior that is the son that isn't himself.)

Cid + Kas are a combined entity that has continued their own existence by Re-cloning himself every 120-200 years and loading his memories down to the next younger Cid + Kas. (each iteration is not the exact same being, nature vs nuture development of personality, plus, Cid + Kas have the advantage combined lifetimes of experience, His Gradual Name changes show a Move to a singular mind.)

How does this flow in the grim dark?

It could sort of work...
The problem is AI are outlawed completly and utterly before the Emperor started taking power.
This isn't an arbitrary outlaw either, this is outlawed because they tried to use humanity as target practice with Big Guns.
No human in their right mind would do it.
The warrant of trade needs genetic proof to back it up (See: The Second book in the Abitrator Calpurnia series)

Overall...
It doesn't flow very well.

It doesn't flow very well... Yet , But your help has been instrumental in begging to get from here to there.

Yes the men of Iron; however, a less than omniscient man with a mop might have never heard of them. Further, spending years in solitude from a humanity that teems with so much life a single man might be considered a drop in an ocean, could cause quite the psychological shock for even the hardiest of mind. Most would find solace in the talking machine they co-inhabits an entire planet with.

I will have to look into the Abitrator Calpurnia series. That could be problematic, because the existence of the AI is... Problematic. Anything is possible within the 40k universe, and plenty a Rogue Trader Dynasty might be arrogant enough to record their minds to be passed down to their progeny, but the war with the men of Iron makes that far less likely.

After that I think it comes as Ci'Kas (or which variation there of) would act given the historical events of the Eastern Fringe.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback,

You could always make it a daemon...
If he was a daemon that had lost the favour of his patron god he may desperately need to stay in the material realm by any means necessary...
Throw in a healthy amount of backstabbing and double crossing as well a a small dose of trickery and bob's your uncle.
He sides with the IoM for a while until the Inq. start getting antsy and then he legs it to the Tau who shelter him for a while until they start demanding he share his tech so he sabotages their fleet (Maybe under the pretence of an inspection) and legs it with a DEraiding party (along with some Ethereals to ensure safe passage) before the local hive fleet turns up and ends up in a DE raider base (In realspace) after that... who knows... no one that's who, because you haven't written it yet. Go write it!

The Daemon thing I do not know much about yet. I mean, I've got the basics down with them, just not a whole lot of in depth on the info there. I dunno, Chaos characters do, for the large part, have more depth than, say a, Draigo, for example. However, all chaotic character is in their fall, which is great, ton of stuff there, but once they fall, Chaos more or less seems to consume them. Maybe I am not well read enough on the Forces of Chaos, which is quite possible. I'm going to need to get started on that.

He doesn't have to be a Chaos character...
In fact it would be abtter if he wasn't.
The daemon, having lost his Patron's favour, has gone renegade. He is on no one's side but his own.

I agree with not be a Chaos character, I don't know much about renegade Daemons. Interesting. This could work better in my story... Thoughts, and lots of them, haha, thanks!