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Friends don’t let friends become nerdjerks.
The nerdjerk is an individual who was picked on as a child for his appearance, his lack of fitness or his strange behaviors. Labeled a nerd, the nerdjerk matured, his testis dropped and he began to express testosterone. Due to his inability to display his masculine nature in a physical fashion when confronted by other males, the nerdjerk has been forced to internalize his nerdrage. His only outlet, linguistic attack. The nerdjerk revels in his ability to demonstrate his superior intellect, cunningly eviscerating his foe with beautifully constructed tirades. However, these tirades the nerdjerk soon learns must be appropriately timed and released from a place of safety; usually aimed at the foes receding back. This backstabbing habit, while intellectually pleasing, leads to greater dissatisfaction because it highlights the true nature of the nerdjerks failings. The inability to express nerd rage face to face. Given the bitter nature of the nerdjerks lifestyle and shortcomings, the nerdjerk sinks deeper into despair, his only outlet, the internet.
The internet forum is a place where the nerdjerk thrives. No one can see his pimply face or the atrophied muscles that line his frame. The heavy odor of gamer funk that drifts around him is undetectable in the forums he frequents. Instead, he may embrace his darker side, fully embracing his nerdrage. The nerdjerk trolls the forums searching for some unsuspecting prey. With the slightest warning the nerdjerk pounces castigating anyone with a differing opinion with lofty prose that illustrates the every failing of the opinion that they express. The nerdjerk lashes out, in his element, a titan of nerdrage that eviscerates his foe and then revels in the exquisite agony of his godlike words. He labels them whiners, asshats and donkey caves. He brays and berates to his hearts content, releasing a lifetime of pain and self loathing. His point, that he is right and all others are wrong for their differing opinion, the nerdjerk smirks and moves on to a new thread.
The lifestyle of the nerdjerk is a sad life to live. Perpetually gratifying their own pathetic existence by attacking others for little or no reason other than opinion. Little know to the nerdjerk, engaging in these unhealthy behaviors only furthers the process of distancing him from the rest of society. Others can sense his mean nature. Female nerdettes who search for mates that will accept them, for who they are, pass over the nerdjerk as though he wasn’t even there. Friends move away and soon the nerdjerk is left with no one in his life but the avatars of other nerdjerks he has met in forums around the world. Bereft of human contact, the nerdjerk festers and then slowly fades away. The few mature nerdjerks live alone, kicking their pets, and mumbling to corners in their dark and sweaty hovels.
If you know a nerdjerk, the best thing that you can do to try and save the nerdjerk from their life of suffering is to pass along this message. Friends don’t let friends become nerdjerks.
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