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Ok, so the point of this thread is to make something up. Anything that that is within the rules of this website. The more absurd the better. Here is the catch. You have to make it believable. You can use supporting photos or whatever, but it has to be fake. Not a bunch actual conspiracy theories or anything like that. It should all be for fun and a good laugh. I will give the first example.

Chinese Vampire Deer: (Vampiricuss cephalophus) is a small species of deer characterized by its prominent tuft of black hair on its forehead. Native to the far northern area of China and northeastern Myanmar. Although rare and suffering habitat loss, this deer is not considered to be endangered categorized a pest. It is the only member of the genus Vampiricus. It is restricted to forested mountain habitat up to 4500 meters above sea level, making study difficult.

The Chinese Vampire Deer is similar to a muntjac in appearance, but the longer necks and legs give it a slightly leaner appearance. The coat is coarse with short and stiff hairs, being almost black in the winter and chocolate brown in the summer. The lips, tip of the ears, and the underside of the tails are white. Perhaps the most striking feature of this deer is during the winter, a tuft hair sometimes refered to as a “cape” grows on the back of the neck and shoulders, being black in color, and could be up to 48 inches in length. The white tail is used as a signal of preparation before attacking.

The Chinese Vampire Deer is mainly solitary or found in pairs. It travels in fixed routes about its territory, which is vigorously defended by the males and females alike. This is a aggressive, carnivorous, animal and prefer places with good cover, where it is well camouflaged and hidden so it can strike without warning. It feeds on mostly the blood of other deer and other small mammals but has been known to attack man from time to time. It is not easily surprised but when alarmed it will let out a hiss before running towards its victim in a wild pattern, displaying its long, white fangs with every jump and kneels down after, making it difficult for the enemy to follow. This animal has no weakness to sunlight.

The origins of the Chinese Vampire Deer are sketchy at best, but most accounts refer to the infamous vampire, Vlad the Impaler’s travels to China. It is said that his caravans brought along many species of stock for both food and sport during the long journeys and there was a particular night when Vlad’s thirst for blood was so great he had to feed on the first living thing he saw. That being one of the deer he had in his herd. He fed on the deer but could not drain entirely of its blood and kill it due to its gamey taste. The animal as let alive and became a vampire the next night and escaped the confines of the camp. It is believed that the animal in turn fed on other deer who mistook it as one their own and spread the vampire gene through out the deer populations in that region.


See pictures below.

Please don not attach non wargaming images to Dakka. For such images you need to use off site hosting.
reds8n

More than one reply to this thread has caused sudden blindness, and erectile disfunction.

Are you prepared to provide evidence to support this claim?

OoooOOOOOoooOOO!!! this is the kind of dumb that KC likes. Give me a little bit to think on my submition.

lowmanjason wrote:Are you prepared to provide evidence to support this claim?

Yep, I can't see a damn thing now!
we'll leave your imagination to the second.....

alarmingrick wrote:More than one reply to this thread has caused sudden blindness, and erectile disfunction.

Just because someone was struck blind and impotent after posting twice in this thread doesn't mean that it caused it.

There could be another factor in play.

Nerivant wrote:

alarmingrick wrote:More than one reply to this thread has caused sudden blindness, and erectile disfunction.

Just because someone was struck blind and impotent after posting twice in this thread doesn't mean that it caused it.

There could be another factor in play.

I would reply it also could be caused by Bronies, but i can't find my keyboard......

alarmingrick wrote:

Nerivant wrote:

alarmingrick wrote:More than one reply to this thread has caused sudden blindness, and erectile disfunction.

Just because someone was struck blind and impotent after posting twice in this thread doesn't mean that it caused it.

There could be another factor in play.

I would reply it also could be caused by Bronies, but i can't find my keyboard......

You can claim anything you like, you're blind and can't argue any more.

TKO!

lowmanjason wrote:Ok, so the point of this thread is to make something up.The more absurd the better. Here is the catch. You have to make it believable.

Didnt you just describe the majority of the rumor threads that are posted here daily? And half of the batreps most likely...

Ive never heard of a vampire deer rumor

This thread is genius. Hold on. I'll think of something

KingCracker wrote:OoooOOOOOoooOOO!!! this is the kind of dumb that KC likes. Give me a little bit to think on my submition.

Samus_aran115 wrote:This thread is genius. Hold on. I'll think of something

Really you two?! You post to tell us you're going to post?

Id like to present, the Oddbromanjeska fish.


The Oddbromanjeska fish was until recent years, thought to be a myth, and was only mentioned in here say conversations. Until the year 2009, it was kept in the ranks of Cryptozology's faves like Sasquatch and Vampire Deer. Little is still known about these bizarre fish, only that they are highly skilled, flesh eaters, which is an uncommon feat in fish. And who is to blame for the change from mythical fish to a real fish? Dr Jeremy Wade, of the River monsters fame. Wade, seen here with the Oddbromanjeska fish Says he had heard rumors of a fish that leaps from the waters, and actually feeds on unknowing birds, and had to investigate such claims. We had caught up with Jeremy Wade and asked him a few questions about his latest finds.
When congratulated on his recent discovery he had this to day
"Yea it was truly remarkable. I tried all sorts of different bait and just couldnt seem to get anything on the line. So I figured, well the legend says it eats birds, so I tied a line to a bird from the local village and cast out. To my utter surprise, the Oddbromanjeska fish jumped strait away and I yelled "FISH ON! OH THATS A BIG FISH!" and the rest is history I guess"

History indeed. Its only been a few short years, but now that the cat is out of the bag, or the fish out of the water in this case, pictures and videos have been popping up like wild fire. It seems the Oddbromanjeska fish, is a craze, that people need to see the fish, that eats birds, for themselves



Automatically Appended Next Post:

alarmingrick wrote:

KingCracker wrote:OoooOOOOOoooOOO!!! this is the kind of dumb that KC likes. Give me a little bit to think on my submition.

Samus_aran115 wrote:This thread is genius. Hold on. I'll think of something

Really you two?! You post to tell us you're going to post?

Its the subtle art of post count hocking. How else did you think I hit 14k



I kid I kid, although this would count as one of those posts........

The Lionel Scream.

The great mystery to all Lionel Ritchie fans, its source and indeed it's effect on the song have been long discussed and Investigated to No Avail.

Once it has been Heard in the audio many cannot listen to his Hit 'Dancin' on the Ceiling' without feelings of intense anxiety and in extreme cases Schizoid Embelisms. Lionel ritchie himself has refused to talk about the matter and has walked out of several interviews when the subject has been broached.

Famously When the Octagenerian celebrity Host and Vampire Howard Stern asked about it in a 1994 interview Lionel Ritchie Lashed out with a vicious tirade. After storming out He left two female producers on the show with bruising and a broken nose respectively. All Along with thousands of dollars worth of property damage when he went on a rampage trying to escape the studio.

So What is the 'Lionel scream'? It is best heard on this video of the special extended edition of his Barnstorming Classic 'Dancin on the ceiling'.

Between 0.25 and 0.28 a blood curdling shriek can be heard. Independant Audio experts have confirmed that it is Ritchie's voice, though even the layman can agree it is unmistakably his.



Obviously you will need a minute to adjust to this chilling scream and indeed enjoy the glorious unabridged version of this 80's classic. So take your time.

As to the source, the only surviving audio engineer who worked on the recording gave this cryptic answer.

'We were all ready to congratulate him man, a great performance. He had us all grooving on the other side of the glass. The mood was killer, we were ready to party. He smashed it in one take, you know how rare that is?

But man, when he come outta there? He be as pale. As. A. Ghost! Like he seen a ghost. I. Do. Not. Know. man.

You know what the weird thing be brother? One of the cleaners, Yolanda; girl was Fine, found a weird stone in the recording booth right in the corner. One guy said it was 'soap stone', i dunno Stone made of Soap? Sheeeeeeeeit. I dont buy it. Anyway it had five points like a star, it was all carved with letters. Could not read a word.

I think Brian took it Home. Boy was crazy, went on a trip to the antarctic. The ANTARCTIC! I know right?! Said his plane crashed. Never Found. Peace brother, peace'

That was genius

Cheers, the song played at work and i thought, 'that scream sounds a little odd'. It being work i was kinda daydreaming and thought of lionel ritchie seeing something horrible while recording the track. And whats more horrible than a Shoggoth?

alarmingrick wrote:

KingCracker wrote:OoooOOOOOoooOOO!!! this is the kind of dumb that KC likes. Give me a little bit to think on my submition.

Samus_aran115 wrote:This thread is genius. Hold on. I'll think of something

Really you two?! You post to tell us you're going to post?

Those were their posts

The Guardian wrote:Yesterday David Cameron launched a political coup in which the UK became a monarchy.
He has expressed wishes to 'restore the Empire'. Political analysts are calling this a bold move on behalf of the ex-Tory PM.

In a statement today the head of the EU expressed doubts as to whether the 'newly founded monarchy of the United Kingdom will come to anything, claiming the system to be 'out-dated' and that 'political dictatorships are far more effective anyway'.

A more recent statment from his majesty has brought out opposition to his cause suggesting that he intends a military takeover of various countries. Most notable of these included are India, Australia and the USA. The King accepted this criticism and commented saying 'there's no need for violence if they surrender'.

In a reply statement President Obama welcomes the King in negotiation and talks about the 'special relationship' of the UK and the US.

Jerry Sandusky sentenced to public service; will head local cub scout jamboree.

The Highland Karbano
The Highland Karbano (Equus hagina, formerly Equk havina), also known as the Hoover Hog for its third eye, is a rare species of Karbano and least geographically wide spread. It's habitat ranges from the western fringe of Angola to the southern alps of Dubai. They are especially common within the lowlands of Ontario, but their habitat is threatened by human activities as while as competition with livestock and of course the ravenous appetites of angry Beavers (Castor canadensis voracious).

Taxonomy
The Highland Karbano, as while as the Sideland Karbano and Six Eyed Korbuni belong to the subgenus Karbanatchi, but were originally classified within the Kurbunutchu subgenus by the late Doctor Evermuend Tigris "The Lucky Bullet" Monocle during his infamous South American expedition. They belong to the Equus genus, more commonly known as the "Ugly Horse Genus" and the Equidae family. Researchers have yet to determine which Order they belong to, but it is presumed Narchuloceps based on their feeler tendrils surrounding their maw.

Physical Description
The Highland Karbano is a midsized animal with thin shins, thick thighs and unusually pointed spines. Adults of both sexes can range from 0.56 to 28.7393900001 metres tall at the shorter and are from 0.01 to 58.58 metres long, not counting the 1.2 to 2.1 metre long tail. They can weigh up to 2001.9 kg, but on average weigh 268 kg for males and 267 for females. Some scientists have stated that there is, statistically, no difference in average weight whatsoever regarding gender (citation needed).
Like all Karbanos, they have vibrant purple and red strips with pink muzzles and azure manes. Their natal coat is a colour between green and orange, but this is hotly contested by experts and self proclaimed experts on the subject. Highland Karbanos in northern areas tend to have more red strips and less purple strips, but Highland Karbanos in southern areas tend to have less purple strips and more red strips. Rare, albino Highland Karbano do not exist and thus are classified as rare by cryptozoologists.

Ecology
Highland Karbanos generally live in icy caves, atop Egyptian pyramids or in treeless grasslands. They rely on rainfall for water and as such are willing to migrate up to eighty seven thousand kilometers to follow the rains, but very few have succeeded in going this far.
Regarding solid food-stuffs, their diet is estimated to be 58% grass, 17% herbs, 2% shrubs, 13% miscellaneous grassland creatures, 7% other Highland Karbano and 3% human. Their main predators are humans, lions, gazelle, angry beavers and other Highland Karbanos. They can exist peacefully with Sideland Karbanos and Spotted Koola Kangaroos, but will hill Stripped Koola Kangaroos on sight.

Photo

See how the whole picture is blurred the same? Totally a real one, Ive seen photoshops before, that is totally legit

KingCracker wrote:See how the whole picture is blurred the same? Totally a real one, Ive seen photoshops before, that is totally legit

It's a fake! Anyone can tell that's a level 3 Welsh Dragon!

Welsh dragon? You got a wiki page or something *nudge nudge*

KingCracker wrote:Welsh dragon? You got a wiki page or something *nudge nudge*

For some reason the link doesn't work but i'll quote it for you

wikipedia wrote: The Welsh Dragon appears on the national flag of Wales. It is well known to represent the ruling classes dragons. In the 12th Century each noble family in Wales (of which there were seven) would battle in the Grand Tournament. Dragons would be judged on their respective power by a level system. For example the Dragon of the Einstein family in 1148 was Dragglemass the Defiant a level 5 Welsh Dragon.
As time passed dragons became rarer and rarer and according to the expert judges employed by the nobles they were also becomming weaker.
Eventually in 1479 King Bertie the Magnificent (Reign of 1475-1481) outlawed it and ordered the Welsh Dragons set free.
The Dragons mostly just scattered into the wild, a few, most notably the self styled Lord E. Lordi set up a Gentlemen's club in London eventually starting his own newspaper before losing everything to gambling debts and dying of scale rot penniless.
After his death all sightings of Dragons stopped, it was believed he was the last of his species.
However in the outset of WWI the Welsh Dragons were spotted assissting Welsh regiments in the trenches and in one case even taking an entire trench single clawed. However during the 3rd battle for Ypres they took etraordinary casualties and retreated, never to be seen again.
In more recent times it is believed they have become extinct however there are rare sightings of what people claim to be a Welsh Dragon however these are mostly unfounded.

Happy?

Yea, its on wiki, therefor its for real

Exactly...
It's also totally impartial.

KingCracker wrote:See how the whole picture is blurred the same? Totally a real one, Ive seen photoshops before, that is totally legit

You're supposed to use big text so we'll believe you.

Oh yea, your right.



Its TOTALLY a REAL picture. You can tell by how IT ALL BLURS THE SAME! Ive seen some photoshops in my day, and that one is LEGIT!

It MUST be true

EXACTLY! ITS TOTS TRUE! NO PHOTOSHOP AT ALL!