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A few of you may have seen my thread over in the Army List section, but I realized this is more fluff than just an Army list, so wanted to post here for critique and comments. So, for those new to my thread, I'm building up a couple of companies of Space Marines... (I know, imagine that, here of all places)

The idea behind it is that they're a Second Founding Ultramarines successor chapter that has clung to the organizational and rank structure of the original legions. I've always been a big fan of the Roman legions, so enjoy the similarity of structure and function, and have decided to use the ranks and titles of the Roman legions. In addition, I have named all 1,000+ marines in the chapter (yes, no duplicates) using the Roman pronomen nomen cognomen structure (hey, that's what happens when you're bored in Iraq, what can I say).

So, after all that prattling, here's my idea for the color scheme for the chapter:


Here's the chapter org chart:


And here's the fluff, er, "Chapter History":









I'm still working on the vehicle roster for the entire chapter, but here's what I've got so far. This is the chapter HQ, cohort HQ 1&2, 1st company, and 2nd company. Let me know what you think! (Yes, I know the vehicles aren't truly to scale... and yes, I made all the vehicle outlines myself...)






Here's the army list for the chapter HQ:





Thoughts, comments, critiques?

This is tremendous!

Wow. This is pretty darn close to perfect. What makes it better is that you have an exceptional talent for presentation of your fluff, and restraint in the stories. The acts are big and important, but not so over the top as to roll eyes. Plus I like the fact that there is a pretty coherent narrative of the entire journey of the chapter.

There is only one fluff aspect that jars against me, and it is a pretty easy fix. In the entry that mentions 'proto-Tyranids', I do not believe there would be such things. The Tyranids do not have a proto form, as far as anyone knows. I would simply replace the mention of a proto-Tyranid to Genestealers caught in a three-way battle between Orks, Hrud and your chapter.

 curran12 wrote:
Wow. This is pretty darn close to perfect. What makes it better is that you have an exceptional talent for presentation of your fluff, and restraint in the stories. The acts are big and important, but not so over the top as to roll eyes. Plus I like the fact that there is a pretty coherent narrative of the entire journey of the chapter.
There is only one fluff aspect that jars against me, and it is a pretty easy fix. In the entry that mentions 'proto-Tyranids', I do not believe there would be such things. The Tyranids do not have a proto form, as far as anyone knows. I would simply replace the mention of a proto-Tyranid to Genestealers caught in a three-way battle between Orks, Hrud and your chapter.

Thanks for the compliments, I appreciate it! As for the proto-Tyranids, I based that on a few things:
1.) in the original RT rulebook (which I have buried somewhere), it mentions Zoats which eventually turned and changed in the GW fluff into what we now refer to as Tyranids
2.) There are multiple references through multiple sources that what we now refer to as Tyranids have changed over time based on the genetic material they've encountered
3.) This is millenia before the first recorded encounters with the Tyranids, hence the 'nids encountered would probably be of a type not recognizable to "modern" (i.e.- M40+) Magos Biologos

Do you still see an issue with that section based on my thought processes on it?

 rez wrote:
This is tremendous!

Thanks!

 ajmerrifield wrote:


Thanks for the compliments, I appreciate it! As for the proto-Tyranids, I based that on a few things:
1.) in the original RT rulebook (which I have buried somewhere), it mentions Zoats which eventually turned and changed in the GW fluff into what we now refer to as Tyranids
2.) There are multiple references through multiple sources that what we now refer to as Tyranids have changed over time based on the genetic material they've encountered
3.) This is millenia before the first recorded encounters with the Tyranids, hence the 'nids encountered would probably be of a type not recognizable to "modern" (i.e.- M40+) Magos Biologos

Do you still see an issue with that section based on my thought processes on it?

Well, my concern is more along the way that we know Tyranids to operate. The issue I have is that you almost never just run into a little isolated pocket of Tyranids. If I am reading it correctly, it kind of feels like a battle between relatively small forces throughout a space hulk, right?

The thing about Nids is that you pretty much never run into a small group like that. The closest thing they have to advance scouts are genestealers, they would be the things that might infest a space hulk. Other Tyranid organisms would only show up when a Hive Fleet is doing the attacking, because the Tyranids almost never have normal guys out. They are spawned for a particular mission or battle, so to speak, and once that job is done, the Tyranids will be gobbled up by the Rippers and sent into the digestion pools and return to their Hive Fleet to fuel the next invasion and so on.

It's not so much that there are such things as 'proto-Tyranids' (although I would not use the word proto, as Tyranids evolve so quickly as to render the term a little bit moot imo), it's that they appear to just be hanging out on a space hulk. Genestealers would make sense being there, and they can have numbers enough to be a viable threat.

Valid point. Thanks!

AJ I agree with what Curran has to say, it still heroic with just enough collatoral damage to your chapter to still make it realistic per se in the Grim Darkness. You've got my full attention, i can't wait to see what else you put out.

Eh-pic!

 ajmerrifield wrote:
Valid point. Thanks!

No problem, now for a question of my own, would you be willing to share how you got this to look the way it does? I'd be interested in doing the same...

 thenoobbomb wrote:
Eh-pic!

Thanks, I try!

 Master Azalle wrote:
AJ I agree with what Curran has to say, it still heroic with just enough collatoral damage to your chapter to still make it realistic per se in the Grim Darkness. You've got my full attention, i can't wait to see what else you put out.

Thanks, man. I've got to say, I had a lot of fun deciding how to kill off various groups... LOL As time goes on and I flesh out the stories of the journey back more and more, you'll see more and more of the force die in horrible ways. LOL

 curran12 wrote:

 ajmerrifield wrote:
Valid point. Thanks!

No problem, now for a question of my own, would you be willing to share how you got this to look the way it does? I'd be interested in doing the same...

Certainly! So, here's how you do it:
Draw up your army list in Excel (or Word, or whatever) and output it to Adobe Acrobat PDF.
Open up Adobe Acrobat Pro and export to JPG.
Open Photoshop and open the JPG you created.
Copy the layer with the JPG image on it, and delete the background layer.
Use Select Color Range (160) and select white. It will delete all white pieces of the page.
Hit delete. (This will get rid of all the white, and leave you with floating black text)
Find a background you like, open it, paste it into a new layer beneath the text.
If you want a large copy of your logo in the background, import one, get rid of any non-black color using Select Color Range, then set the layer to one layer above you background and set the layer to Color Burn and transparency to about 30% (play with it until you like it).
Add additional layers of "fluff flair" as you like.
Save as PDF so you can use it as a template in the future.
Output to JPG.
Done!

Hope this helps!

This is brilliant, you've outdone yourself. I'd love to see a battle report series from you, I think you could really right some good fluff for them. May be something to think of when the new codex hits?

This has inspired me to fluff out my Warband a bit.

Thanks for the read!

 Sheokronath wrote:
This is brilliant, you've outdone yourself. I'd love to see a battle report series from you, I think you could really right some good fluff for them. May be something to think of when the new codex hits?

This has inspired me to fluff out my Warband a bit.

Thanks for the read!

Thanks, man! Yeah, I've still got more fluff I'm working on, to include a series of reports from the Mechanicus explorer fleet, the chapter, and the Inquisition upon their return, as well as one from the Ultramarines at having elements of the "lost chapters" suddenly show back up after a few millenia. I'm also commissioning some original artwork, too. The goal is to pretty much build up "Codex: Eagles Victorious" to the point where it's a full-fledged Codex which I'll then have printed and bound and use in place of the SM Codex.

Well I'm certainly looking forward to seeing the rest, particularly the commissioned artwork. Be sure to upload some pictures of your minis as your collection grows, I'm very, very keen to see this pan out!

 Sheokronath wrote:
Well I'm certainly looking forward to seeing the rest, particularly the commissioned artwork. Be sure to upload some pictures of your minis as your collection grows, I'm very, very keen to see this pan out!

Thanks! I'm excited, too!

 ajmerrifield wrote:

 Sheokronath wrote:
This is brilliant, you've outdone yourself. I'd love to see a battle report series from you, I think you could really right some good fluff for them. May be something to think of when the new codex hits?

This has inspired me to fluff out my Warband a bit.

Thanks for the read!

Thanks, man! Yeah, I've still got more fluff I'm working on, to include a series of reports from the Mechanicus explorer fleet, the chapter, and the Inquisition upon their return, as well as one from the Ultramarines at having elements of the "lost chapters" suddenly show back up after a few millenia. I'm also commissioning some original artwork, too. The goal is to pretty much build up "Codex: Eagles Victorious" to the point where it's a full-fledged Codex which I'll then have printed and bound and use in place of the SM Codex.

Once again, I must say: 'awesomesauce'.