Now, for some good news from the UK...

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**Ouze**

Oops, did I say "good? I meant "terrifying".

Testicle-biting fish found in Paris could be on way to UK

THE Pacu, a fish dubbed the 'ball-cutter' because it has reportedly bitten off men's testicles, has been found in Paris and there are fears it could be making its way to the UK.

The small piranha-like fish was found in European waters for the first time in August with experts warning men to keep their trunks on if swimming in the Øresund channel between Denmark and Sweden.

Now the pacu has been found in the River Seine, The Paris Prefecture of Police newsletter revealed on Tuesday. Although officers were skeptical of the tropical catch, its human-like teeth marked the species as the feared 'testicle eating' pacu.

Fish expert Henrik Carl told the Local earlier in August: "The pacu is not normally dangerous to people but it has quite a serious bite. There have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea where some men have had their testicles bitten off.

"They bite because they're hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth."

The pacu, a relative of the piranha that is commonly found around the Amazon, can grow to up to 90cm and weigh in at a staggering 25kg. Fishermen in South America attacked by the pacu have reportedly bled to death after losing their testicles in the fish's vicious teeth.

The fish are found in most rivers in the Amazon and Orinoco basins in South America and have also been spotted in Papua New Guinea, where they are believed to have been introduced in order to boost fish stocks.

I think this story is mostly nonsense - I've encountered tons of Pacus in the retail pet trade and my brother owned some when I was a kid - but hell, it's entertaining and has a funny picture, so why should I have higher standards than CNN or FOX?

**Monster Rain**

"They bite because they're hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth."

Do they indeed?

**KalashnikovMarine**

Why does it have human like teeth?

**mega_bassist**

Hardest I've laughed all day

**xruslanx**

For a carnivore it has remarkably herbavoristic (I know that's not a word) teeth.

**Blackskullandy**

xruslanx wrote:
For a carnivore it has remarkably herbavoristic (I know that's not a word) teeth.

As far as I know they're omnivores (like us), so they have a combination of cutting and grinding teeth (like us)

**hotsauceman1**

did your brother ever stick his testicles in witth the fish? How did you know they where not just testicle eating manics

**Monster Rain**

It's a well-known fact that all pacu owners must dangle their scrotums into the water for at least 20 minutes every day.

This is basic stuff, dude.

**Gentleman_Jellyfish**

http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/10/world/europe/scandanavia-swim-warning

A warning over the weekend for male swimmers off the coast of Denmark and Sweden to protect their private parts because of a testicle-munching fish appears to have been a joke that got out of hand.

**Monster Rain**

Blackskullandy wrote:
xruslanx wrote:
For a carnivore it has remarkably herbavoristic (I know that's not a word) teeth.

As far as I know they're omnivores (like us), so they have a combination of cutting and grinding teeth (like us)

I'm not sure what their diet is, but a lot of fish have grinding teeth for crushing mollusks and crustaceans and whatnot.

Oh, and gonads.

**rubiksnoob**

Hey, hey, hey, let's not pass judgement too quickly. After all, one man's testicle-eating fish is another man's foreplay.

**Ouze**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
did your brother ever stick his testicles in witth the fish?

We have a pretty strict don't-ask, don't tell policy re:testicle dipping, so I don't suppose we'll ever know.

I still haven't found a well documented case of this happening, though of course they do get very large (the Pacu, I mean)

**notprop**

This story is bollocks.

**Kilkrazy**

Is it a story about British teeth?