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So after a series of events culminating on last Saturday I really don't feel like I want to play at my lgs anymore.

I often feel like I'm being attacked when I play or talk over the fb chat for my lgs. Apparently I'm arrogant and tell people how they should play there armies but I don't know how and I can't tell if I am being aspergic and having adopted a sociopathic archetype. it's not exactly easy to empathise.

But this all culminated on Saturday when I was playing one of the group, he kept telling me to concede and patronising me such as "here's your own little dice George" after I explained that I don't like playing with other people's dice. Having been irritated I kept on playing with nothing but a raven, chaplain, chapter master and 3 scouts just to spite him which resulted in him having less time to finish his next game.

After I had left he started to message me over Facebook saying things like im a "dick" and "simpleton" even going so far as to say on the group chat "Well don't be so padantic snow stubborn and ignorant" after I asked him to leave me alone.

Is it my fault? Am I the tfg of my lgs?

Sounds like a lot to sort through in a short paragraph for a bunch of internet strangers to pass judgement on you and a bunch of other people we know very little about.

The question we can help to answer is should you keep going to that store. And really, only you can answer that. Do you want to keep playing there? Is this a common occurrence? Do you have other friends there you enjoy playing with and they enjoy playing you?

I honestly don't even know if people enjoy playing me anymore.

Pretty much what Blacksails said.

I´ll just add, once again, that it seems like you, or the other guy is taking the game a bit too seriously.

These kind of things seem so alien to me - in my country they never occur except among children ( how old are you guys? ) Here acting like that is a bit of a taboo, your opponents behaviour would instantly alienate him from pretty much any social group and label him as an outcast.

Hard to say anything without knowing the situation, but it sounds you´re a bit down and there´s atleast one good bit: Instead of just denying it, you are atleast seeing the possibility that it´s about you. That´s a good thing. I´d say try to analyze your behaviour, try to be self-aware and do your best so people can have a good time playing with you. If it´s not you at all, then you can hardly affect the other guy.

From what you said, I would say yes and no. We only have one side of the story so hard to say.

If I am reading this correctly you got a bit of your own medicine thrown back at you. You say people say you are arrogant. So now this person seemed arrogant to you.

You say they tell you how you tell other people to play. So now this person is telling you how to play.

You are deliberately slowing a game down for the other person. (did I read this correctly?) Now you are just being a dick there. That is not being TFG, just a douche or a dick.

You don't like touching other peoples dice? Hygiene? If not, that is just weird. But that is ok, we all have our quirks, nothing wrong with that.

Why not just take a step back and see what people are really saying? Are you arrogant? Stop being arrogant. Nobody likes playing against an arrogant person. You tell people how to play? Stop telling people how to play unless they ask you for advice. After all that is a part of being arrogant.

You know it all? So you are better at playing with plastic toy soldiers than other people. Does that make you better than them? Stop telling them how to play. If this is not the case, ask why they are seeing you like this. Listen to what they have to say. Maybe you are arrogant. I know we like to see ourselves not arrogant and think other people lie when they say that, but if they start giving you examples then you can see they are correct and you can change your ways.

Talk to them. I said TALK. Forget facebook. Talk to them face to face and ask them. Look at them in the eye. Tell them if you are the problem you want to change but you want to know why. If they are man enough, and it hasn't gotten too serious a situation they should give you examples of what you do. Again listen. Listen as a third person and then see if it's true and how you can change. We being humans it can take time to retrain ourselves not to do those things because we are use to doing them by instinct.

So I say talk to them and change. If things don't change, then don't go there no more. Problem is if you find another place and you are TFG, things will be the same all over again.

Sometimes we don't realize we are TFG. If we are it can be embarrassing, but we can change.

Best of luck.

I didn't intentionally delay our game to stop their game I just refused to be forced to concede.

I would talk to people but it's literally terrorfying to me, social anxiety is one of my things. I don't feel comfortable with other people's dice because they're aren't mine and I don't like his 4mm dice.

I don't know if I'm being arrogant, I don't know if I'm telling them how to play I just don't know anything anymore

It might help if after games you look back on how you've acted and from there decide if you were arrogant or not.

Other than that I'd just explain your issues and ask what it is that you do wrong.

Couldn't say for sure. Is there a group leader you can talk to?

no its just a independent stockist we play at who happen to also cater for 40k

The guy you played sounds like an immature asshat and a bully. He doesn't have to like you or your preferences but his attitude was nothing short of rude and demeaning. Taking it into group chat was compatriot uncalled for.

Drawing the game out to spite him wasn't exactly a kind move, either, but that's forgivable.

Considering how he took to the shop's fb page to continue harassing you, this sounds like an issue for the store owner. Talk to the owner. Maybe you can adjust yourself. The owner will probably be able to help you there. He really needs to know about the guy you played against because now it's the store's issue that someone is being bullied through their social media page.

it wasn't the actual shops page but our own as 40k is only a small part of the shop

You both are taking it too serious. Try to pay attention to yourself when you play. Don't worry about what the opposing player does or how he plays his army.
That way you can tell if it's you with an arrogant attitude or not.

Let me ask a few questions and you answer them straight forward.

When you play an opponent, and you see he brings an inferior list that doesn't counter yours.
Do you...
A) say nothing and play
B) politely tell him his choice of list is a bad choice
C) sarcastically joke about how great of a list he brought
D) insult him and belittle his judgement

I'm generally the one with the inferior list, I don't win very often.

Only getting one side of the story. Need more details.

but I guess I just get on with playing

My advice would be stay off Facebook.

Sometimes, a little humor helps break it up. If someone keeps telling you to use their dice, just say, "Screw that. I spent sixty bucks on these loaded dice".

It's no different than anything else in real life -- if someone blows something out of proportion, you can diffuse it, confront the person, shut up and let it eat away inside you, et cetera. In sports, archenemies can be made by such conflicts, but hey... this is a game with toy soldiers, lol.

I mean, half the reason that *I* play this game (instead of a computer game, which has way less 'overhead') is for the time with social interaction with people I like or that seem interesting, especially to converse with. Life is too short for me to play 40k with someone I don't like.

Regarding Facebook 'bullies' or whatever - I never understood why this type of thing is a problem. Block & Remove -- Solved.

You seem to have several issues there:

first your opponent was rude, and continued harassment after the game

Secondly if people dont like playing you, is it your list? Do you bring competitive to friendly games etc? You havent really said why people dont like playing you other than your last opponent was a tool.

Thirdly is perhaps the need for thicker skin, some people arent gracious winners, some arent gracious losers, but at the end of the day you shouldnt let people like this make you stop a hobby you enjoy.

To the second point I get critiqued alot at my local GW for my "cheese" renegades list because I have 4 tanks in it at 1000 points (2 are chimera). to my mind this isnt anywhere near as cheesy as it could get but because "Forgeworld is OP", I get alot of negative compliments to the point where I now play my tau instead. Varying your lists can reduce complaints but at the end of the day some people have a very narrow mindset.

You sound borderline to be frank, and I'm not sure you didn't paint the scene to make yourself seem a bit better than how it actually played out.

If people don't want advice, then don't give it to them. If you have social anxiety, this should be easy to do.

If you are being bullied into giving up, then that is wrong. A game isn't over until it's over, and being harassed by private message is taking it way over the line.

You may need to talk to the guy, through private message if possible. Sometimes people have disagreements and it gets taken too far, but one party may not even realize they are doing so. Point it out.

If all else fails you may have to give up with this guy.

I find some of the posters in this threads comments to be slightly hilarious given the situation, but it does show that people are often unaware when they are participating in what they would call child like behavior.

I don't play with cheesy lists. both games I played, da vs nids and sm vs ba, I got tabled.

my rough lists that day were:

interrogater chaplain
death wing knights
landraider crusader

2 scout squads

5 man bike squad and lanspeeder

5 man black knights squad

nephillim

and my other list, which I used against the guy, was:

chapter master
chaplain
vanguard vets
stormraven

10 man tac squad with melta and mm

10 man tac with grav and heavybolter

one rhino and one razorback

stormtalon

So you knew that you are not going to win and you still played, so the other guy has less time to play? And you expected that how he would react, when you cost him his playtime?
In tournaments this is called stalling and you could get kicked out for doing it offten. If you do it offten to other players, they probably disliked it too. Even if your store doesn't have rules like my, we pay for each hour played, I would be pissed off if someone had 6 models, no chance to win and stalled for 10+min, just he can move around models.

Makumba wrote:
So you knew that you are not going to win and you still played, so the other guy has less time to play? And you expected that how he would react, when you cost him his playtime?
In tournaments this is called stalling and you could get kicked out for doing it offten. If you do it offten to other players, they probably disliked it too. Even if your store doesn't have rules like my, we pay for each hour played, I would be pissed off if someone had 6 models, no chance to win and stalled for 10+min, just he can move around models.

There's a difference between stalling and playing it to the bitter end. Even if I had no chance of winning, I usually try to play to the end. I know tourneys are different, but still, no reason to call him out for something that sounded like a one time thing. Also, his opponent sounded like TFG. Him responding in kind by not conceding is understandable.

Most tournaments have time limits so there is no issue with continuing a game until the end even if it clear you are not going to win.

In friendly games you sign up to play a game to the point that both parties agree the game is over or one person quits. There was nothing stopping the other guy packing up his stuff and moving to another table if he didn't want to finish the game.

Makumba wrote:
So you knew that you are not going to win and you still played, so the other guy has less time to play? And you expected that how he would react, when you cost him his playtime?
In tournaments this is called stalling and you could get kicked out for doing it offten. If you do it offten to other players, they probably disliked it too. Even if your store doesn't have rules like my, we pay for each hour played, I would be pissed off if someone had 6 models, no chance to win and stalled for 10+min, just he can move around models.

I get what you're saying, but what's 10 or 15 minutes? O.o

If someone wants to battle to their last gasping breath, just have some fun and duke it out. In an NFL game, even when there is zero chance of the other team winning (by virtue of downs and snap clock), if there is time on the clock, the two teams have to kneel down for each whistle and take the delay of game penalties, right til the clock says zero. In a hockey game, even if it's 8-0, you play out the last five minutes. In competitive skiing, even if you can't possibly medal, you make that last jump. I guess, I'm just saying, there are plenty of competitive games (most of them) where you play to the end, rather than concede, even if you know you'll lose.

Plus, from a purely 40k standpoint, maybe someone is thinking, "I know I'm gonna lose, but I'm going to kill Smashf****** if it's the LAST THING I DO OR EVERY ONE OF MY UNITS WILL DIE TRYING!!!"

I've actually done before, and it was kind of fun losing, like, 20+ crappy models (all I had left) and not killing the bastard, lol.

 jreilly89 wrote:

Makumba wrote:
So you knew that you are not going to win and you still played, so the other guy has less time to play? And you expected that how he would react, when you cost him his playtime?
In tournaments this is called stalling and you could get kicked out for doing it offten. If you do it offten to other players, they probably disliked it too. Even if your store doesn't have rules like my, we pay for each hour played, I would be pissed off if someone had 6 models, no chance to win and stalled for 10+min, just he can move around models.

There's a difference between stalling and playing it to the bitter end. Even if I had no chance of winning, I usually try to play to the end. I know tourneys are different, but still, no reason to call him out for something that sounded like a one time thing. Also, his opponent sounded like TFG. Him responding in kind by not conceding is understandable.

He said it himself

Having been irritated I kept on playing with nothing but a raven, chaplain, chapter master and 3 scouts just to spite him which resulted in him having less time to finish his next game

And the other dude missed a game time, because the one draged on

I get what you're saying, but what's 10 or 15 minutes?

Of someone else time? Priceless unless your paying for it. The dude was not paid in cash, Missed another game so wasn't enjoying it, which could have been another form of payment. And neither of them seem to be friends, where again keeping the ties of friendship could be a form of payment.

In a hockey game, even if it's 8-0, you play out the last five minutes

because sponsors, fans, dudes get paid for it, even if not players then coachs. And someone has to transport the gear etc Plus you get a chance to hurt the other team even if you lose. The other dude could do no such thing other then vent of FB.

Plus, from a purely 40k standpoint, maybe someone is thinking, "I know I'm gonna lose, but I'm going to kill Smashf****** if it's the LAST THING I DO OR EVERY ONE OF MY UNITS WILL DIE TRYING!!!"

And while your having fun doing that, your opponent is thinking that if you finished sooner he could have fit in another game with someone else.

In friendly games you sign up to play a game to the point that both parties agree the game is over or one person quits. There was nothing stopping the other guy packing up his stuff and moving to another table if he didn't want to finish the game.

Other then, let say the guy that doesn't want to quit, not taking his stuff from the table or doing it slow, when you may have wanted to use it for another game. Sure besides that there is no problem with droping a "friendly" game against someone who stalls the game out of spite.

Can we see this facebook post?

I think you were okay in doing what you were doing. A lot of folks, especially so in my group love to fight until the bitter end. Its 40k, folks, not chess. That means there can be no retreat, and no surrender towards the hated foes of mankind.

As his opponent being able to play another game. I see nothing wrong with him picking up his models, to go play another game. One Should always complete the game started before moving on to the next game. Its called courtesy. Give your current opponent some first.

Makumba wrote:

 jreilly89 wrote:

Makumba wrote:
So you knew that you are not going to win and you still played, so the other guy has less time to play? And you expected that how he would react, when you cost him his playtime?
In tournaments this is called stalling and you could get kicked out for doing it offten. If you do it offten to other players, they probably disliked it too. Even if your store doesn't have rules like my, we pay for each hour played, I would be pissed off if someone had 6 models, no chance to win and stalled for 10+min, just he can move around models.

There's a difference between stalling and playing it to the bitter end. Even if I had no chance of winning, I usually try to play to the end. I know tourneys are different, but still, no reason to call him out for something that sounded like a one time thing. Also, his opponent sounded like TFG. Him responding in kind by not conceding is understandable.

He said it himself

Having been irritated I kept on playing with nothing but a raven, chaplain, chapter master and 3 scouts just to spite him which resulted in him having less time to finish his next game

And the other dude missed a game time, because the one dragged on

Then the guy shouldn't have been a condescending prat. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a player wanting to finish the game. If he didn't want to play the OP to the end then he shouldn't have played him in the first place.

In a hockey game, even if it's 8-0, you play out the last five minutes

because sponsors, fans, dudes get paid for it, even if not players then coachs. And someone has to transport the gear etc Plus you get a chance to hurt the other team even if you lose. The other dude could do no such thing other then vent of FB.

If by vent you mean bully and harass another person because that person wanted to play the game to its conclusion rather than be belittled and bullied into conceding.

Plus, from a purely 40k standpoint, maybe someone is thinking, "I know I'm gonna lose, but I'm going to kill Smashf****** if it's the LAST THING I DO OR EVERY ONE OF MY UNITS WILL DIE TRYING!!!"

And while your having fun doing that, your opponent is thinking that if you finished sooner he could have fit in another game with someone else.

And there is nothing stopping them from quitting the game if they are not having fun. Expecting the other player, who is having fun with their suicide charge, to quit so you can go play someone else is immature and insulting to the extreme.

In friendly games you sign up to play a game to the point that both parties agree the game is over or one person quits. There was nothing stopping the other guy packing up his stuff and moving to another table if he didn't want to finish the game.

Other then, let say the guy that doesn't want to quit, not taking his stuff from the table or doing it slow, when you may have wanted to use it for another game. Sure besides that there is no problem with droping a "friendly" game against someone who stalls the game out of spite.

Playing the game to its conclusion is not stalling. The game was not over. It isn't over until one player is tabled, a time limit runs out or the number of turns reaches its limit. There is no rule saying that if you only have X% of your army left then the game is over.


OP, I don't think you are TFG from what you've said and you definitely shouldn't stop playing. It sounds like you can be a bit obnoxious and should probably work on reigning that in (not telling people how to run their armies etc.).

 cyphersbootlick wrote:
I didn't intentionally delay our game to stop their game I just refused to be forced to concede.

Fair enough, but when you said it the first time, it didn't come out this way. I would now say you are not a douche/dick now. Your opponent shouldn't have been bullying. You play to the end, because you never know, you can try and learn something from an utter defeat. You did the right thing, you keep playing because now you can try a new tactic and maybe learn something new.

I would talk to people but it's literally terrorfying to me, social anxiety is one of my things.

Not my strong suite either, but it's a game you play in person you need to talk to people. Part of the hobby when playing in public.

I don't feel comfortable with other people's dice because they're aren't mine and I don't like his 4mm dice.

Fair enough, but again context. They way I read it the first time, just seemed creepy. Don't be lazy in writing. Just because this is the internet laziness in writing is not an excuse. You want us to understand you properly, you need to take the time to write out what you want to say. I know, I fail at this all the time myself.

I don't know if I'm being arrogant, I don't know if I'm telling them how to play I just don't know anything anymore

That is why you need to ask. You did say that is what they said. So you have to talk to them to ask why. Another reason Facebook and talking through forums is you don't get to see the person's expression when they talk and it's so easy to take out of context what is said on the internet/forums. So while it's socially awkward, you need to learn how to do it. So your choices is be socially awkward and quit playing 40K, or at least try and talk to people and continue to keep playing 40K and have fun with it.

So next time you go to play, be nice. Talk to them. Apologize. Say "I have herd people say I am arrogant. I don't feel I am but can you please explain why?" Then listen to them and then be the better man and say "I am sorry. I didn't realize I was like this. I will try and change. I am sorry, for my behavior, can we have a fun game?"

Sometimes it's best when trying to start over, be the better person. They will see you are not an arrogant person and is trying to change and become a better person.

Good luck my friend. I wish you the best.

"Here's your own little dice George"

"Here's your own teeth Patrick"

and while whether his behaviour during the game qualifies for punch or not is debatable, dick and simpleton are imo enough reason for a light beating. Violence is bad etc ofc but you will be suprised how little social anxiety and weird things you do matter when you are known to be active in face of bs like the one you described. Aim for the chin and avoid telegraphing punches heh.