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Why the hell is everyone at war, anyway? What drives each faction in a TLDR fashion? And why do they all hate nids? o.O

Imperium (most all of them): Holding land 'cause it's what the Big E said to do. Also, death to Xenos 'cause they are donkey-caves

Eldars: Survival/pain-fun

Necrons: GET OFF OUR LAWN!

Chaos: Kill them all 'cause the gods said so!

Tau: we wanna expand

Orks: For the fun of it.

Tyranid: Midnight snack run gone very wrong (or good, depending on point of view)

Imperium of Man: Think "Rome after the Germans started rampaging." Basically? They are fighting to keep those deck chairs on the Titanic properly arranged. Everything's crumbling around them. They are completely doomed. But they don't want to die just yet.

Nids: They're space locusts. They're fighting because they're hungry. Survival of the fittest, yo.

Tau: Think "strange mix of islamic jihadists from the middle ages and communists." They're basically a marxist version of Saladin or someone like that. They're conquering worlds because they believe that they have a divine right of conquest. And by "divine," we actually mean Lenin. Think "allujah akhbar," but say "For the greater good." But instead of riding camels and wielding scimitars, they pilot gundams.

Eldar: Same reason as the Imperium of Man. Except, to boot, they have a hermaphroditic demon who wants to eat their souls.

Dark Eldar: Because they're high. And pirates. In the words of Dave Chapelle from one of the Charlie Murphy skits: "Meth is a hell of a drug!"

The Orks: Because it's fun and that's how they reproduce. Fighting a war is like having a sexual orgy for an ork.

Chaos Space Marines: Different reasons. Some have their own private agendas (e.g., Ahriman just wants to go to the library). Some just love killing people ("BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"). Other do it as an act of worship of the chaos deities.

Chaos Daemons: Because they're daemons. Nuff said.

Necrons: Because they're Bender from Futurama. Except actually homicidal. Nuff said.

Imperium are racists on the level of nazis and trying to claim the universe because it's "humanity's right to conquer".
Eldar are trying to make sure that the universe keeps doing universe things at the expense of everyone in it.
Dark Eldar kill for pleasure.
Orks make war for fun.
Tau want to be a superpower but don't have as obvious of a racist undertone
Chaos want to break the dimension so that their petty wars have a new battleground
Necrons are just reviving and 'Get off my lawn' is a pretty apt way to put it.
Tyranids are from another galaxy and are either just hungry like locusts or are running from something meaner than them.

if nids locust, why no ally vs them? or csm for that matter.

Because the 40k factions are not rational.

 Ashiraya wrote:
Because the 40k factions are not rational.

*Because 40K as a whole is not rational haha

Imperium: Manifest Destiny.

Tau: Manifest Destiny.

Eldar: Varies. Mostly to keep the Eldar as a race alive for just a little longer.

Dark Eldar: Debauchery.

Orks: Fighting for the sake of fighting.

Necrons: Varies. Some desire to simply restore the old Necron empire while others want to exterminate all life.

Chaos: They fight for glory and to sastify the fickle whims of their dark gods.

Tyranids: The galaxy is an all you can eat buffet and they have an endless appetite.

Arkengate wrote:
if nids locust, why no ally vs them? or csm for that matter.

Sometimes, they do. That said, imagine that you're a soviet from WWII. Are you going to ally with the Nazis to fight off an alien invasion? After what they just did to you? After all that you've been through?

Yes, in extreme circumstances, it's better to survive, as a human, an invasion from the chest bursters from the Alien movies with the help of those pointy eared alien freaks. But at the end of the day, feth those guys. Do you know how many human worlds they've nuked?

 Traditio wrote:

Arkengate wrote:
if nids locust, why no ally vs them? or csm for that matter.

Sometimes, they do. That said, imagine that you're a soviet from WWII. Are you going to ally with the Nazis to fight off an alien invasion? After what they just did to you? After all that you've been through?

Yes, in extreme circumstances, it's better to survive, as a human, a tyrranid invasion with the help of those pointy eared aliens. But at the end of the day, feth those guys. Do you know how many human worlds they've nuked?

They did to invade Poland.

TheCustomLime wrote:They did to invade Poland.

That was before the backstab.

 Traditio wrote:

TheCustomLime wrote:They did to invade Poland.

That was before the backstab.

Then clarify what era you mean. Alliances switched all throughout the war.

Uncle Joe would likely ally with the Nazis to fight off the aliens while using the invasion as an excuse to spread communism. He does not care about dead Russians as long as it suits his will. Stalin, despite being a total monster, is actually quite the pragmatic.

TheCustomLime wrote:Then clarify what era you mean. Alliances switched all throughout the war.

Uncle Joe would likely ally with the Nazis to fight off the aliens while using the invasion as an excuse to spread communism. He does not care about dead Russians as long as it suits his will.

That's a fair point.

I think this image suits us a bit better:

Truman calls Emporer Hirohito: "Hey, man, how's it going?"

Hirohito: "Who is this?"

Truman: "I'm president Truman. How's it going...?"

Hirohito: "YOU JUST NUKED US. TWICE!!!! WTF?"

Truman: "Yeah...about that..."

Hirohito: "Do you know how many innocent people died? Do you know how long it'll take to rebuild those cities? Do you know how many future generations will suffer? THINK ABOUT THE BIRTH DEFECTS, MAN!!!!"

Truman: "Yeah. Well. So. There's aliens coming..."

 Ashiraya wrote:
Because the 40k factions are not rational.

Well, this is grim-dark so...

 Traditio wrote:

TheCustomLime wrote:They did to invade Poland.

That was before the backstab.

Backstab that both knew was going to happen though. They signed treaty because BOTH wanted to delay the conflict and prepare for it. Neither felt ready for the war. German wanted western side sorted, Soviet Union needed to reorganize and build up their army.

There are some alliances in 40k though. Eldar and IoM do fight for common reason occasionally. Orks can be used as mercenaries though not in large scale(mainly due to that being punishable crime in IoM). But Tyranids aren't felt to be big enough threat to do the unthinkable and ally with say Chaos(not to mention Chaos is on west, Tyranids on the east of galaxy so to speak. They aren't that likely fighting).

Also Chaos is driven by chaos gods who are basically inhuman. They don't really think on same terms. Though it's possible they might order their followers concentrate on say tyranids because they don't really want all life forms dead by hands of tyranids either(that would be death of chaos gods!) but that wouldn't really be an alliance. More like one day IoM would simply see notable lack of invasions by Chaos.

Imperium - We started a war with everyone ten thousand years ago because our leader is stupid and now we can't change our society.

Tyranids - They want to eat everything.

Eldar - Combination of wanting to survive and wanting to die with a bang.

Dark Eldar - Literally survive off other beings suffering.

Orks - War = fun.

Chaos - They seem to want to rule things but take their time seeing as they're immortal.

Necrons - Want their land and bodies back because boring. Used to have been about serving their evil gods who tricked them.

Tau - Tried expanding into the big galaxy. Found out most other species don't like that happening.

Uncle Joe would likely ally with the Nazis to fight off the aliens while using the invasion as an excuse to spread communism

Ever read the Harry Turtledove World War In The Balance series? It's essentially this; mid-way through WWII, suddenly alien invasion. The politics is....interesting.

IoM - Humans are best so purge everything else. Leadership is probably incompeten.... *BLAM* Questioning leadership is heresy.... also you just sullied your eyes by reading a heretical statements. Die Heretic! *BLAM*

Eldar - We dun goofed so we better get real conservative to keep the big bad 80's rock god from eating my soul. Your entire planet must die to save an Eldar from having a bad hair day.

Dark Eldar - We dun goofed so we party extra hard to keep the big bad 80's rock god from eating my soul. Need more victims to torture for that sweet sweet agony high.

Necrons - Get off my lawn fleshy.

Orks - Wez made fer fightin and winnin and we dun run out of da winning.... wut dat ain't right..... oh well, ere we go WAAAAGH!!!

Tau - *knock* *knock* Hello good sir, have you heard the good news? The Ethereals has brought The Greater Good for all to prosper and if you don't join we will murder you. Please take a pamphlet and speak to your local water caste representative about joining the Tau Empire or die and learn more about the joys of serving The Greater Good. Also we are moving into the neighborhood, hope that isn't a problem too bad manifest destiny

Nids - Nom Nom Nom

Nobody likes the Nids because they show up, eat everything in the house (including the house), and don't even have the courtesy of saying thank you before bouncing to the next house to freeload off of. Also in their feeding frenzy they tend to eat the host of the house party.... and the guest..... and the neighbors.... and the authorities that show up because they are keeping waking up old man Necron.

Chaos - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! / Papa Nurgle loves you and brought you gifts / All according to plan / Sex drugs and rock n roll baby.

The Imperium of Man attempted to destroy the Chaos Gods by conquering to galaxy under a secular doctrine, and failed. Now they are fighting for survival for as long as they can.

The forces of Chaos are thriving on all the violance, suffering, death, and decay, all the while greating power through lies and manipulations.

The Eldar are aristicrates that spend millennia on perfecting an art. The only Eldar we see are those practcing the arts of war or piracy.

Orks are happy.

Tyranids are hungry.

Necrons are not happy, not happy at all. They thought they were too old for this .... and now they have to chase the youngsters off their lawn!

The Tau mean well, they just want to spread the message of stoned mind control to the universe, so all the fighting will stop. Just be cool, man, and take another hit off the Etherial.

SJ

Have you seen how big those tooths are they are walking treasure chests for orks. Tyranids are the monsters of nightmares for all other sentient races.

Why do orks love war ? Because they are bioweapons of a long gone race. They continue to fight the wars they where engineered to enjoy.

Imperium of man fights because they are descendants of Idiotic technobarbarians who have been killing everyone and anything that is capable of thought outside their empire.

Tau are not that different really except that they allow disguised slavery as an alternative option for outsiders.

Necrons are still in their ancient war with eldar and orks the rest is just in the way of rebuilding their empire. They started reawakening because of the fall of the eldar race.

Eldar are a mess. They fethed up and created a chaos god that wants to eat their souls while they are still in war with necrons while still interfering in the lives of lesser mortal races.

Choas is just mirroring the warlike mortals in realspace.

Imperium of Man: Emperor is an immortal who united all of humanity and brought forth a golden age of humanity. Then civil wars erupted during the Horus Heresy, and things were slowly falling apart because no technological development happened, and the Emperor got incapacitated and is now half-dead and stuck in the Golden Throne, using his immense psychic power to hold back the nasties of Chaos from overrunning everything. Plenty of factions here, someone needs to make a whole other thread to cover their separate objectives.
Eldar: They committed debauchery and excess so much they gave birth to Slaanesh, the Chaos God of sex, pleasure and all things that feel nice. The birth event eradicated their planets and they survived as Craftworld Eldar, trying to survive at all costs; Dark Eldar, trying to survive at all costs by appeasing Slaanesh through pleasure and pain, capturing other people and using them for pleasure and pain; and Harlequins, the most mysterious of the Eldar, who seem to be in touch with the gods of the Eldar, hoping to be able to fight back one day.
Necrons: They were screwed by Necron gods during an ancient war against the Eldar, and got turned into soulless machines. They went to sleep for ages and ages, and now are waking up, intending to destroy all living creatures that now occupy their old worlds.
Orks: They're space plants that reproduce through spores (that only release and spread when they die). They live to fight and have the largest population among all the races. They pretty much fight for the sake of fighting, and their machinery only work when an Ork is operating it, hinting that they have a passive psychic collective mind that bends the laws reality through their belief.
Tau: A young race that showed impressive technological development and is slowly expanding through the galaxy, subjugating populations under their rule and spreading their creed of the "Greater Good." They have no psychic abilities, and excel in firepower.
Chaos: Chaos is divided into four major parts, each following one of the four Chaos Gods: Khorne, Tzeench, Nurgle and Slaanesh. They fight among themselves and against others, a twisted reflection of the blind dogma and racism of the Imperium of Man has become. They travel in and out of the Warp, which is a realm of emotions and thoughts, and are the most effective force in traveling to any spot in the universe through the Warp.

Bonus:

The Old Ones: The ancient frog-like race that created the Orks to fight the Necrons (back when the Necrons were still flesh), and when the Orks were defeated, uplifted the Eldar to fight them, leading to what's known as the War in Heaven, in which the Eldar and the Necrons gods ripped each other apart, leading to the Necron gods betraying their worshippers. The Old Ones then disappeared, leaving the universe wartorn and on its own.

 jeffersonian000 wrote:
The Tau mean well, they just want to spread the message of stoned mind control to the universe, so all the fighting will stop. Just be cool, man, and take another hit off the Etherial.

OK, that one almost made me spit my coffee from laughing. Have an Exalt, good sir.

Because peace and co-operation are largely artificial states.
Everything competes, and often compete violently, for resources.