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Granted, but it's a cheap, Made in China knock-off.

I wish I had an Emporer Class Titan.

Granted. But what you don't have is anywhere to park the thing.

I wish cannons were not so expensive.

Granted, Now everyone has one so they are not so special.

I wish for snow Thursday so i dont have to go to the inlaws..............

Granted. It snows so much that the power is cut, you're forced to dig your way out of your house and the pipes freeze.

I wish I had a Kar98k.

Granted. You find it buried under a pile of garbage, rusted beyond repair.

I wish for some good fried chicken.

Granted. It was a saint of chicken that cured the ill, donated millions to charity and fed the homeless.

I wish for an omelette.

Granted. The egg used to make it was that saint chickens son, and the chicken community shuns you forever.

I wish to become Roostarius, god of the Chickens,

Granted, you are the biggest pecker of them all and are first on the summer barbeque chopping block.

I wish all my minis would paint themselves.

(It is alright, I died for my people)
Granted, they all magically paint themselves. Sadly, small plastic/resin/metal models are pretty terrible painters, so they all look like they where painted by a 5 year old

I wish I had more primer

Granted. The interior of your car is filled with it. Better get a bucket.

I wish for a pack of the new Warlord Games Sheep.

Granted, in your throat. You choke to death.

I wish for the sausage in front of me to start singing and dancing to the entire soundtrack from Frozen.

Granted. After you eat it. Your stomach cannot take the abuse, and you hurl at most in-opportune moments.

I wish for steak.

Granted. It's a week old fried steak that has been overcooked in the microwave.

I wish I had the Gauntlets of Ultramar.

Granted. But since guilliman took them from CHAOS champion a greater daemon devours your body and soul
i wish that black templars dont suck on tabletop

Granted. You can practically hear them suck before you even get them out of the box. They are fugly and have silly weapon choices, and so overbalanced just looking at one will make it face plant.

I wish to find an empty right hand in amongst my bits.

Granted. It is yours. There was a nasty accident with the hobby knife.

I wish that I had a Leman Russ Vanquisher tank.

Granted. On your way back from the store, you forget the tank in a bus, never to be seen again....
i wish to stop rolling more ones on armor saves than a binary system

Granted, instead, despite the odds, you roll more 0s than a binary system.

I wish for some Biel-Tan Green shade.

Granted. The first time you use it it spills everywhere.

I wish GW still ran it's bitz service.

Granted. They now sell Shoulder Pads for every army, even Fantasy.

I wish for a miniature that looks like Captain Spaulding.

Granted. It's made of Finecast.

I wish I had a pancake with Jesus's face on it.

Granted. Jesus is not amused, however.

I wish to know where my box is.

Your box is in the dimensional void, the space between spaces, and you can only access it by fighting a level 32 Eldrich Horror.

I wish I had a bigger closet, so I could get all my warhammer stuff off my desk.

Granted. You stuff your desk in the closet, now there's plenty of room for your Warhammer stuff.

I wish to begin a new army.

Granted, but this new army rebels on you and becomes a mercenary group.

I wish I could find out if my friend has a vendetta against me. I'm rather confused!

Granted, this comes in the form of the ability to read minds. You find out they didn't, however your friend sees this as an invasion of privacy and now he DOES have a vendetta against you.

I wish I could fall at a slightly slower speed than normal.

Granted. you fall slower than normal, but the ground rushes up to meet you twice as fast.

I wish for another Turkey dinner.

Granted. Cooked by Nurgle.

I wish the mall where I work wasnt open for 16 hours starting today. Dam holidays........

Granted. Its open 24 hours a day starting yesterday, from now until Easter.

I wish my cat would stay inside.

Granted, your cat quickly gets bored and knocks everything off every shelf/counter/table/surface in your house, as cats do.

I wish to know Nurgles love.