The foul Tyranid Swarms consume entire systems as you read this. The Necrons rise again to begin their great harvest. One by one, worlds fall to the choking, corrupting grip of the Warp.

Chose your weapon.

As for me, I'd bring along a combi-plasma. >

Virus bombs

The Codex Astartes.

The Obliterator Virus.

The Office Max "That was easy" Button.

Me? A match. Burn all them evil books that say the Nids or Crons are winning.

The Ultramarines Chapter. The whole thing. Plot armor ftw.

a las pistol and a book of cutting remarks

a ward codex!

A Las Gun and a Zippo Lighter.

a shotgun and sledgehammer

A foot of yarn, a paperclip, a pocket knife, a straw, and some new underwear.

I bring the following:




Because really, there is nothing any of us could do.

A shotgun and my Rapier-like wit.

Failling that, Cadia. And all her people.

And CREEEEEEED!

I call Galactus and let him know about the Tyranid all you can eat buffet that's just opened.

A built-in teleporter, I'll just keep running.

I'm going in with Mattyrm and Frazzled.

I'd give a conservative estimate at around 3 days before we take it.

Me? I'll take a can of bug spray, a massive electromagnet and a family counsellor to deal with the CSM's Daddy issues.

GK codex

I bring a white flag. I bet Chaos will probably win the conflict, and it'll at least survive it. So I'll just surrender to some Daemons (hopefully Slaanesh ones)

Death Star.

Ash and Pikachu, the Dovakhiin, Gandalf, Luke Skywalker, and the Master Chief.

More plot armour than the Ultramarines, Draigo, and Cadia put together.

In a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, will survive that.

Buffy...

Mary Sue.

Not even all the plot armor from every other source combined can match hers.

Iur_tae_mont wrote:Mary Sue.

Not even all the plot armor from every other source combined can match hers.

I dunno, bringing one Mary Sue wouldn't be enough to fight against the thousands that inhabit the 40k universe.

Lots of Virus Bombs.

Well somewhat off topic, but if i could have one PERSON it would be Sly Marbo
As to a weapon? powerfist/ripper pistol

A manreaper

Extuminatus

Mr. Rogers and a blood stained machete...

Ruger Super Blackhawk with one round in the chamber.
ain't no Nid or Cron gonna eat me.

Chuck norris

A Meltagun and the worlds best one liners.

Shoryuken and Wing Gundam Zero of course

I would bring Johannes Brahms.

An Ork Spore. Pretty soon i'd have my own greenskin army to fight for me.

My fists.

Hot shot las pistol.

LoneLictor wrote:

Iur_tae_mont wrote:Mary Sue.

Not even all the plot armor from every other source combined can match hers.

I dunno, bringing one Mary Sue wouldn't be enough to fight against the thousands that inhabit the 40k universe.

That's just it. It's not one Mary Sue, it's THE Mary Sue. The First.

A towel and a copy of 'Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy"

VoxDei wrote:A towel and a copy of 'Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy"

I 2nd this... and end up saving everyone while going on all kinds of wacky scooby do adventrues,

Honestly, This:

A power Halberd and an ipod full of heavy metal.

Nuclear hand grenades, and a shotgun

i was gonna say chuck norris... looks like im a touch late. oh well....


+1 to chuck norris.

The combined Nerd Rage of the entire internet, focussed into some kind of death ray. The savage break-downs of the enemy's fluff inconsistencies alone will win the day.

A teleporter.

So you later, suckers

A Phantom Titan. And my arbitrary twin sibling, of course.

I find it fun how many will attempt to thwart the hordes of Tyranids by trying to bash them with a small, yet rather pricy, paper booklet.

Mahtamori wrote:A Phantom Titan. And my arbitrary twin sibling, of course.

I find it fun how many will attempt to thwart the hordes of Tyranids by trying to bash them with a small, yet rather pricy, paper booklet.

I loled. And, a Baneblade.

Mahtamori wrote:A Phantom Titan. And my arbitrary twin sibling, of course.

I find it fun how many will attempt to thwart the hordes of Tyranids by trying to bash them with a small, yet rather pricy, paper booklet.

Want to give up your nids for a demonstration? I'd rather smash them with a book than with a fragile, pricy FW toy.

Zweischneid, I have never seen you post anything that isn't aggressive or condescending, but if I should take you seriously for a second or two I'd say that even the a real Codex would make absolutely no difference. It's still a book (if a bit heavier this time) and a lasgun would be of more use.

Harsh language.


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Also, if nobody covered this already, a BFG9000

THE ORIGINAL A TEAM - Hannible smith, Face, Ba Baracus, Murdoch and the van - you need nothing more.

Map of the web ways, means to traverse them safely and a black library library card ^^ no necrons or tyranids in there

Mahtamori wrote:Zweischneid, I have never seen you post anything that isn't aggressive or condescending, but if I should take you seriously for a second or two I'd say that even the a real Codex would make absolutely no difference. It's still a book (if a bit heavier this time) and a lasgun would be of more use.

Is it? If you were to defend the galaxy from inter-planetary war and invasion, the collected wisdom of someone who has succeeded in galaxy-wide warfare before seems far more useful to me than any single weapon, no matter how weak or powerful.

You find my posts condescending? Well, you would'a been spared the irony by avoiding the obviously condescending, trollish and purposful misreading of taking the "Codex Astartes" as literally a book used to swat things, rather than its content of 10.000 years of military strategems collected by ALL loyalist Space Marines. I just took this intentional slander and ran with it.

A super-massive black hole, sure I'll probably be taken down with it, but If I can crush the entire galaxy into a single point in space-time of infinite density then I think it count's as a win...

The entire Death Korps of Kreig. And 6 Baneblades.

if your going for a team there is only one capable of saving the universe

Kenny, Kyle, Stan and, Cartman

One or more people who have eaten Tree-of-Life virus (ones related to me, and not the Chaos Marines).

Zweischneid wrote:

Mahtamori wrote:Zweischneid, I have never seen you post anything that isn't aggressive or condescending, but if I should take you seriously for a second or two I'd say that even the a real Codex would make absolutely no difference. It's still a book (if a bit heavier this time) and a lasgun would be of more use.

Is it? If you were to defend the galaxy from inter-planetary war and invasion, the collected wisdom of someone who has succeeded in galaxy-wide warfare before seems far more useful to me than any single weapon, no matter how weak or powerful.

You find my posts condescending? Well, you would'a been spared the irony by avoiding the obviously condescending, trollish and purposful misreading of taking the "Codex Astartes" as literally a book used to swat things, rather than its content of 10.000 years of military strategems collected by ALL loyalist Space Marines. I just took this intentional slander and ran with it.

Since when is "Codex GK" or "Space Wolf Codex" the Codex Astartes? Additionally, how will the collective knowledge as dictated by Guilliman help you as a weapon when you don't have men to command? It's just you and no one else.

Mahtamori wrote:
Since when is "Codex GK" or "Space Wolf Codex" the Codex Astartes? Additionally, how will the collective knowledge as dictated by Guilliman help you as a weapon when you don't have men to command? It's just you and no one else.

Recruitment and creation of Space Marines is the first (and arguably core) part of the Codex. One of the main reasons for its writing, more so than the tactical and strategic guidance, was to curb the "corrupting" practices of Space Marine creation practiced during the Heresy. If you have the Codex Astartes, you have the knowledge to create Space Marines.

Codex Astartes was my answer (3th or 4th post). With your previous post with, quote: " should I take you seriously for a second or two I'd say that even the a real Codex would make absolutely no difference", seemed to imply that you were similarly arguing on that level and quite purposfully included my response in your previous smear. Don't backpedal now.

Commander Shepard!!! He'll kick everyone's ass even get the Orks to fight for him.

Zweischneid wrote:

Mahtamori wrote:
Since when is "Codex GK" or "Space Wolf Codex" the Codex Astartes? Additionally, how will the collective knowledge as dictated by Guilliman help you as a weapon when you don't have men to command? It's just you and no one else.

Recruitment and creation of Space Marines is the first (and arguably core) part of the Codex. One of the main reasons for its writing, more so than the tactical and strategic guidance, was to curb the "corrupting" practices of Space Marine creation practiced during the Heresy. If you have the Codex Astartes, you have the knowledge to create Space Marines.

Codex Astartes was my answer (3th or 4th post). With your previous post with, quote: " should I take you seriously for a second or two I'd say that even the a real Codex would make absolutely no difference", seemed to imply that you were similarly arguing on that level and quite purposfully included my response in your previous smear. Don't backpedal now.

...and yet there were two others posting in the thread which chose the codex route as well, but they wanted the GK codex or a Matt Ward codex, and it never occurred to you that it might be those I was originally commenting on?

In a not too recent Game of Thrones episode Cercei brought 4 knights to threaten Little Finger, for all his knowledge, contacts, and money, she made it quite clear to him that if she didn't call the knights off after telling them to kill him he'd been dead. It is in this situation, the Lannister knights are coming and all your friends are gone, choose a weapon to fight them with, and you take a book?
See where I'm going Dr Evil-style "Riiiiiight"?

I didn't even take my own weapon of choice seriously, so why should I make an exception for yours? In fact, now you've made me do so, and this is the last I will reply to you.

I honestly feel that there's a little too much bad blood here. :/ I'd really rather prefer if you two shut this down. You chose a gun, he chose a book. That's enough.

I would bring all the orks under one Waagh, fluff says insta win vs anyone.

The Arc (halo factory).

The full migth of the Solar Battlefleet

A can of whoop ass.

Mahtamori wrote:

...and yet there were two others posting in the thread which chose the codex route as well, but they wanted the GK codex or a Matt Ward codex, and it never occurred to you that it might be those I was originally commenting on?

In a not too recent Game of Thrones episode Cercei brought 4 knights to threaten Little Finger, for all his knowledge, contacts, and money, she made it quite clear to him that if she didn't call the knights off after telling them to kill him he'd been dead. It is in this situation, the Lannister knights are coming and all your friends are gone, choose a weapon to fight them with, and you take a book?
See where I'm going Dr Evil-style "Riiiiiight"?

I didn't even take my own weapon of choice seriously, so why should I make an exception for yours? In fact, now you've made me do so, and this is the last I will reply to you.

The question wasn't what to bring to a fight. The question was what to bring to defend the galaxy. A rifle will kill you some guys. It stops there. The GoT example isn't so bad either. The knights and swords woulda killed littlefinger. The knowledge he hinted at (false heirs to the throne born of incest) is the very knowledge that drives the first two books or so and is the very reason there's a "game of thrones" in the first place, why "King Joeffrey" isn't sitting too comfortably on the throne. There is a difference in what it takes to fight a fight, and what it takes to fight a war.

And if you intended to respond to those that said "a GK codex"; you made the conscious move from "in-universe" to our side of reality where books are books and Tyranids are 5" plastic toys before I ever did. If that is the case, I don't understand what aggravated you in my response in the first place.

General Hammond of stargate command.

In this thread, both Zweischneid and Mahtamori ruin a perfectly fun and light-hearted post. Take it elsewhere gentlemen.

Can of whoop-ass is a good choice.

I'd also take a sock.

Ever kill a man with a sock? It ain't so hard.

3 internetz to whoever gets the reference

Mozzyfuzzy wrote:A can of whoop ass.

I'll see your can of whoop-ass and raise you a Doctor Who.

Slightly off topic...

nkon117 wrote: raise you a Doctor Who.

Who is Doctor Who?

Bolt pistol and chainsword ftw!


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KplKeegan wrote:Slightly off topic...

nkon117 wrote: raise you a Doctor Who.

Who is Doctor Who?

Are you serious?

Ender Wiggun. That way I'll win.

What under all in the emperors power and everything that is not could save?
(Necron costume and join them ) Id bring a power weapon that I can use in one hand and a bolt gun. Its not worth raking a heavy weapon when probably an individual will be fighting other, lesser things.

A suicide pill

Holy Hand Grenade.

necrovamp wrote:A suicide pill

Why take out just yourself when you take out everyone around you?

Mr Nobody wrote:

necrovamp wrote:A suicide pill

Why take out just yourself when you take out everyone around you?

That many Nids and necrons? Better than gak yourself to death.

thestormlord wrote:Bolt pistol and chainsword ftw!


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KplKeegan wrote:Slightly off topic...

nkon117 wrote: raise you a Doctor Who.

Who is Doctor Who?

Are you serious?

No? Should I?

My armies of course. What else would I bring? Oh, that's right, you! Mwuahaha!

Shokk Attack Gun with a slight modification. I'd modify it so it shoots out the combined overpoweredness of all of Mat Ward's codices plus the weaponized force of internet rage incited by that same name. It's like Exterminatus on a galactic level, but with enough Orky randomness to be funny when we all die.

I like this idea of internet nerd rage, this seems like a good weapon of choice!

KplKeegan wrote:

thestormlord wrote:Bolt pistol and chainsword ftw!


Automatically Appended Next Post:

KplKeegan wrote:Slightly off topic...

nkon117 wrote: raise you a Doctor Who.

Who is Doctor Who?

Are you serious?

No? Should I?

He is a very iconic television character in the UK.

Nictolopy wrote:Shokk Attack Gun with a slight modification. I'd modify it so it shoots out the combined overpoweredness of all of Mat Ward's codices plus the weaponized force of internet rage incited by that same name. It's like Exterminatus on a galactic level, but with enough Orky randomness to be funny when we all die.

You don't know what your dealing with with all that in a gun...

XV9 armoured suit with fusion cascades and a phased Ion Gun...No one could touch me since I'd be flying...I think I'd take a shield generator and some shield drones too...just fly away and destroy everything with my god-like fire power.

As normal infantry, I'd bring a power sword and a plasma pistol, just seems the most powerful choice. Maybe a wrist mounted melta on one hand and a wrist mounted flamer on the other. Basically makes you able to kill anything, firing those three weapons a turn and then assaulting with an awesome sword...

...or a tardis...

My family, they'd talk so much crap at them that anything wanting to invade would think "crap, seriously? The galaxy's full of THAT?! Screw this, I think I saw a KFC at the last service station, lets go there instead"


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OR every woman in the world, specifically mother in laws, at the peak of the.... red tide...

kitch102 wrote:My family, they'd talk so much crap at them that anything wanting to invade would think "crap, seriously? The galaxy's full of THAT?! Screw this, I think I saw a KFC at the last service station, lets go there instead"


Automatically Appended Next Post:
OR every woman in the world, specifically mother in laws, at the peak of the.... red tide...

My mother in law alone would be enough, red tide be damned, any moment, any day.

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:

kitch102 wrote:My family, they'd talk so much crap at them that anything wanting to invade would think "crap, seriously? The galaxy's full of THAT?! Screw this, I think I saw a KFC at the last service station, lets go there instead"


Automatically Appended Next Post:
OR every woman in the world, specifically mother in laws, at the peak of the.... red tide...

My mother in law alone would be enough, red tide be damned, any moment, any day.

EXALT EXALT EXALT!

A plate of hot wings and a beer.

I'd either be : 'Stomped', 'Eaten', Disentegrated', 'Purged', 'Executed', 'Mutated', 'Absorbed', 'Sacrificed', 'Flayed', 'Crushed', 'Enslaved', 'Possesed', 'Poisoned', 'Lobotomized', 'Dismembered', 'Re-Animated', 'Burned Alive', 'Burned Dead', 'Burned in the Afterlife', but not limited to; 'Cleansed', 'Chopped', 'Stabbed', 'Melted', 'Exterminated', 'Plagued', 'Beheaded', 'Seduced', 'Decieved', 'Tortured', 'Made an example of', 'Trampled', and of course the most common way, 'Dying for the Emperor'.

But I would be 'Happy'.

The Phalanx with all the successor chapters on board/in tow (that would be all the fists, vanilla and crimson, +the BT and company)

Bring it... also maybe Calgar, Master of the Warrior Kings and Regent of the 500 Worlds of Ultramar... or at least his number on speed dial.

Sly Marbo and Colenel Straken

Two things.
1. a towel
2. a sonic screwdriver

COME AT ME BRO!

Matt Ward.

Sneaky_Chicken_sal wrote:A plate of hot wings and a beer.

I'd either be : 'Stomped', 'Eaten', Disentegrated', 'Purged', 'Executed', 'Mutated', 'Absorbed', 'Sacrificed', 'Flayed', 'Crushed', 'Enslaved', 'Possesed', 'Poisoned', 'Lobotomized', 'Dismembered', 'Re-Animated', 'Burned Alive', 'Burned Dead', 'Burned in the Afterlife', but not limited to; 'Cleansed', 'Chopped', 'Stabbed', 'Melted', 'Exterminated', 'Plagued', 'Beheaded', 'Seduced', 'Decieved', 'Tortured', 'Made an example of', 'Trampled', and of course the most common way, 'Dying for the Emperor'.

But I would be 'Happy'.

This guy's got it down.

However, I'd have to bring Iron Maiden and Edforce 1. We'll rock them to death.

Battle-Axe and Bolter.

My bottomless petrol can and my flint and steel.

If you can't cut them, stab them, shoot them, chop them, hack them, slice them, dice them, blow them limb from limb or poison them, you can always BURN 'EM INSTEAD!

A Space Marine Legion

Lobukia wrote:The Phalanx with all the successor chapters on board/in tow (that would be all the fists, vanilla and crimson, +the BT and company)

Bring it... also maybe Calgar, Master of the Warrior Kings and Regent of the 500 Worlds of Ultramar... or at least his number on speed dial.

True...The largest, strongest ship in the entire imperium, capable of launching capital ships and carrying one hundred chapters...

Ledabot wrote:Two things.
1. a towel
2. a sonic screwdriver

COME AT ME BRO!

Why are you using cult sci-fi references so?

The Beyonder



Of course there's the risk of him annihilating the universe himself, but he'd probably kill the invading forces first.

Waffles. Just waffles.

venomousSoul45 wrote:Waffles. Just waffles.

Buttermilk. Or maybe chocolate chip or blueberry.

Regular is for heretics.

TermiesInARaider wrote:

venomousSoul45 wrote:Waffles. Just waffles.

Buttermilk. Or maybe chocolate chip or blueberry.

Regular is for heretics.

My vote has been cast

A portable Horus

The Black Sword and a fistful of..... HATRED.

The Great Saiyaman

BlapBlapBlap wrote:

Ledabot wrote:Two things.
1. a towel
2. a sonic screwdriver

COME AT ME BRO!

Why are you using cult sci-fi references so?

Because said items have been proven to be reliable and trustworthy. Hence, I wont die tooo quickly.

Well, clearly I bring along Master Chief.

The amount of dice it takes to roll the attacks of a squad of khorne terminator champions.

it's enough to squash a galaxy.

How about a emperor titan hat can transform into a space capable ship?

I'm with those who'd pack a towel & the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I'd also bring along the Heart of Gold.

Mr. T

Terminator Armor, a Storm Bolter, and the Master Sword.

Phiasco II wrote:Well, clearly I bring along Master Chief.

He'd get squished by the first marine he met

necrovamp wrote:The amount of dice it takes to roll the attacks of a squad of khorne terminator champions.

it's enough to squash a galaxy.

Sparks_Havelock wrote:I'm with those who'd pack a towel & the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I'd also bring along the Heart of Gold.

You forgot the Pangalactic Gargleblasters and the number 42!

I'd enslave the Emperor The Remaining Ctan and Khorne then fly about in the world engine and set my new "pets" on people. Oh and the Hive Mind could be nice I'll go add that to my Christmas Wishlist.

BlapBlapBlap wrote:

Sparks_Havelock wrote:I'm with those who'd pack a towel & the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I'd also bring along the Heart of Gold.

You forgot the Pangalactic Gargleblasters and the number 42!

And the See-It-My Way-Gun.

Gabe Newell.

Chuck Norris just wins everything!

Lightning Shadows wrote:Chuck Norris just wins everything!

Since everyone is trying to cram in memes...

King Leonidas.

Heresy?

THIS

IS

DAKKA!

ohh dear look what you all have started....

i'd become a Q (the star trek version)

they are here.... no they are not

failing that ..... Dr. Who (the 9th doctor) and Amy

Kvothe the Arcane for his ability to come up with exceptionally cunning plans, Commander Shepard for his ability to defy impossible odds with a single squad, post-KotOR1 Revan for his ability to slaughter anything that gets in his way, Elim Garak to back up Kvothe in the cunning plan department and be the comic sidekick, the starship Defiant for it's generally oversized powerplant/weaponry and cloaking device, and an assorted team of particularly badass Marines/Stormtroopers/Jedi to supply the muscle to back up these brilliant leaders.

everyone beat me too it, but i'm on the Douglas Adams train. See-it-my-way gun would win all by itself.

Jesus, and the dog called Fenton, just so i could yell 'JESUS CHRIST! FENTON!' when they are torn apart by nids!

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

necrovamp wrote:Jesus, and the dog called Fenton, just so i could yell 'JESUS CHRIST! FENTON!' when they are torn apart by nids!

That's just brilliant

If I wasn't a Space Marine, I'd like an auto cannon on a shoulder mount, like a rocket launcher, that shoot's small artillery rounds

An Imperator-class titan from Legio Invicta (re-reading the book "Titanicus" BTW! Still my favorite book ever!)!

The SDF-1 Macross.

A towel.

Kaldor Draigo... If he can survive in the Warp, killing countless demons, this invasion would be nothing to him.

I'm going with 5 things.
1)Every Space Marine Legion integrated so that there are no rivalries.
2)Booze
3)Drugs
4)Sex
5)Rock N' Roll

TheAngrySquig wrote:I'm going with 5 things.
1)Every Space Marine Legion integrated so that there are no rivalries.
2)Booze
3)Drugs
4)Sex
5)Rock N' Roll

I love the way you think TAS.

the knights of Ni!

Come at me Enemies of Man!

"Bill Bixby's One-hundred and One Stupid one Liners"
Please actually exist, please!

TheAngrySquig wrote:I'm going with 5 things.
1)Every Space Marine Legion integrated so that there are no rivalries.
2)Booze
3)Drugs
4)Sex
5)Rock N' Roll

You're...you're going to bring sex with you? How does that work?

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:

TheAngrySquig wrote:I'm going with 5 things.
1)Every Space Marine Legion integrated so that there are no rivalries.
2)Booze
3)Drugs
4)Sex
5)Rock N' Roll

You're...you're going to bring sex with you? How does that work?

Slaanesh?

BlapBlapBlap wrote:

Sparks_Havelock wrote:I'm with those who'd pack a towel & the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I'd also bring along the Heart of Gold.

You forgot the Pangalactic Gargleblasters and the number 42!

Good point. Add them to the list!

I was tempted to bring a pair of Joo Junta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive sunglasses, but was worried they'd get scratched and thus reveal the peril they're shielding me from.

spireland wrote:A towel.

^THIS!

A cloth, with which to wipe the xenos filth from the face of existence.

Vortex grenade.

But I would throw it from my pimped out CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:

TheAngrySquig wrote:I'm going with 5 things.
1)Every Space Marine Legion integrated so that there are no rivalries.
2)Booze
3)Drugs
4)Sex
5)Rock N' Roll

You're...you're going to bring sex with you? How does that work?

Youve never seen canned sex before?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

My pimped Thunderhawk. In the atmosphere, in Space zipping around, I'll even give some of you foot'sloggers a free ride to the front, no problemo.

Pity the 40k MMO got canned, it would have been great to actually do this "OPERATION FLASHPOINT" style.

Sparks_Havelock wrote:

BlapBlapBlap wrote:

Sparks_Havelock wrote:I'm with those who'd pack a towel & the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I'd also bring along the Heart of Gold.

You forgot the Pangalactic Gargleblasters and the number 42!

Good point. Add them to the list!

I was tempted to bring a pair of Joo Junta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive sunglasses, but was worried they'd get scratched and thus reveal the peril they're shielding me from.

Don't forget to put your Babel fish in before you go!

Castiel wrote:

Sparks_Havelock wrote:

BlapBlapBlap wrote:

Sparks_Havelock wrote:I'm with those who'd pack a towel & the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I'd also bring along the Heart of Gold.

You forgot the Pangalactic Gargleblasters and the number 42!

Good point. Add them to the list!

I was tempted to bring a pair of Joo Junta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive sunglasses, but was worried they'd get scratched and thus reveal the peril they're shielding me from.

Don't forget to put your Babel fish in before you go!

So many Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy references

SkaerKrow wrote:The Ultramarines Chapter. The whole thing. Plot armor ftw.

FOOL all of you there is only one thing in this world that can stop and invasion of that magnitude, something so powerful the necrons would shut down at the sight of it, the nids would run in fear of it all would bow down before my might, behold the bringer of your destruction...../b/

All the women of terra. Give them a bolt pistol and a chainsword. They have PMs.

If i would go for the defensive approach, A nokia phone bunker, internet, a trash can and paper towels, plus the needed food and water.

MAN BEAR PIG!
HALF MAN, AND HALF BEARPIG!

I'm still going with the SDF-1. If there's anything, in the history of sci-fi, that's capable of pulling a ridiculous underdog win out of its thruster exhaust, it's that damn ship.

The Angry Squig.

Imagine what an angry squig could do to them!

Gir, a master of disguise.

"ME! I WAS THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!"

The World Engine ^^ with additional aerial defence, don't want those marinos crashing a stupid battle barge in there again...

necrovamp wrote:The Angry Squig.

Imagine what an angry squig could do to them!

I'm flattered


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BlapBlapBlap wrote:Gir, a master of disguise.

"ME! I WAS THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!"

WHAT MANNER OF GOD ARE YOU TO CONCEAL YOURSELF SO MASTERFULLY?

BlapBlapBlap wrote:Gir, a master of disguise.

"ME! I WAS THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!"


WHAT MANNER OF GOD ARE YOU TO CONCEAL YOURSELF SO MASTERFULLY?

The Deceiver duuuh XD

DrownedRat117 wrote:MAN BEAR PIG!
HALF MAN, AND HALF BEARPIG!

No, no, your confused. It's half pig, half bear-man.

My Manta, full of terminators. It would be able to hold more than 100 of them, since it can transport a little over 200 infantry, and termies take two spaces...

Either that or fill it with

TWO COMPANIES worth of PA marines!

And my Thunderhawk would spread you and your cargo over a wide geographic area! "Yehaa Jesters dead"

Angry Marines!

Maybe a flamethrower, kill it with fire.

Great White wrote:Maybe a flamethrower, kill it with fire.

I love this. xD We're throwing around virus bombs, the SDF-1 Macross, Titans, Chuck Norris, and this man, Great White, picks a flamethrower. Bravo, good man. Bravo. Exalt.

So many choices, so here are mine

1) The ending to mass effect 3

2) Chuck Testa, to make some stuffed titans.

3) Terminator armor, holding the Black Sword in my chainfist, with a storm shield, CML, flamers on top of the CML, and a techmarine to repair my armor.

OR.....

a HERRING!

BTNeophyte wrote:So many choices, so here are mine

1) The ending to mass effect 3

2) Chuck Testa, to make some stuffed titans.

3) Terminator armor, holding the Black Sword in my chainfist, with a storm shield, CML, flamers on top of the CML, and a techmarine to repair my armor.

OR.....

a HERRING!

Nope, Chuck Testa.

Well played sir.

mwnciboo wrote:And my Thunderhawk would spread you and your cargo over a wide geographic area! "Yehaa Jesters dead"

In what world would a thunderhawk be able to shoot down a manta? MAYBE a dozen of them, and even then, only on the TT.

It would be like attacking a reaver with rhinos.

A mountain of canned booze.

Either I get drunk, or the whole galaxy gets drunk with me.

Ok, tyranids and Necrons.
First I would feed the squat home world to the Nids, cause that would probably give them a lethal case of hemophilia. Then I would hire Jeff Goldblume to fly a captured Night scyth to the Necrons home station and take them out with a virus he wrote on the way with his iPhone. Humanity saved?

WARNING: This post contains FRIENDSHIP.

Belexar wrote:

Spoiler:

Party with the heretic. Love the mutant. Tolerate the unclean.

I don't much care for that kind of thing, thank you for spoilering it sir.

moom241 wrote:
I don't much care for that kind of thing, thank you for spoilering it sir.

I'm glad to see the Dakkanauts have matured a lot since I left. I'd really like to throw my Kanwall at you. Are you familiar with a software named Vassal?

Belexar wrote:

moom241 wrote:
I don't much care for that kind of thing, thank you for spoilering it sir.

I'm glad to see the Dakkanauts have matured a lot since I left. I'd really like to throw my Kanwall at you. Are you familiar with a software named Vassal?

I'm not. We should continue with this conversation in PM.

BTNeophyte wrote:So many choices, so here are mine

1) The ending to mass effect 3

2) Chuck Testa, to make some stuffed titans.

3) Terminator armor, holding the Black Sword in my chainfist, with a storm shield, CML, flamers on top of the CML, and a techmarine to repair my armor.

OR.....

a HERRING!

MUST. EXALT. NOW!

Plague of Enslavers...

...and some sort of Enslaver repellant spray to keep them away from me.

A shovel, with which to dig a small ditch.

THEY SHALL NEVER SEE IT COMING!

Fly Spray

Magical nanotech... grey goo ahoy!

A cunningly placed tripwire.

Giving the angry marines a reason to attack the horde.

Ill bring my Gameboy DSi

Metal_days wrote:Ill bring my Gameboy DSi

There's no place for you on the internet.

Belexar wrote:WARNING: This post contains FRIENDSHIP.

Spoiler:

Party with the heretic. Love the mutant. Tolerate the unclean.

Fool! Scootalo can't fly!

loota boy wrote:
Fool! Scootalo can't fly!

Eh... Bionic wings?

Wait... Only a true brony would know that! Yes! I have found another one!

Lucas the trickster's stasis field thingy.

DarknessEternal wrote:Ender Wiggun. That way I'll win.

You won't just win. You'll win so thoroughly that they'll never try to strike at you again.

KplKeegan wrote:Slightly off topic...

nkon117 wrote: raise you a Doctor Who.

Who is Doctor Who?

Apparently we are to find out soon....but I think thats a lie.

A shotgun

Bushmaster AR-15 with an AAC .300 Blackout upper, jungle-taped magazines, Magpul collapsible stock, Trijicon dot-sight, Surefire light, M203 grenade launcher.

Heckler and Koch Mk. 23 with KAC surpressor and proprietary light/LAM.

Cut down Mossburg 500.

Cold Steel Black Bear Classic fighting knife.

Titanium-centered kevlar bodyarmor.

The best that humanity can offer, at the moment.

A World Engine.

Igloo wrote:A World Engine.

I'm bringing a chapter of Astral Knights in their battle barge...
So...
How do you wanna do this?

purplefood wrote:

Igloo wrote:A World Engine.

I'm bringing a chapter of Astral Knights in their battle barge...
So...
How do you wanna do this?

Touche...

TermiesInARaider wrote:Bushmaster AR-15 with an AAC .300 Blackout upper, jungle-taped magazines, Magpul collapsible stock, Trijicon dot-sight, Surefire light, M203 grenade launcher.

Heckler and Koch Mk. 23 with KAC surpressor and proprietary light/LAM.

Cut down Mossburg 500.

Cold Steel Black Bear Classic fighting knife.

Titanium-centered kevlar bodyarmor.

The best that humanity can offer, at the moment.

Why the suppressor? You have to know they are not like the video games, and only barely decrease the volume of the shots...

Also, why jungle taped magazines? Do you know for sure you'll be fighting in the jungle? I joke, I joke

A cigar, a flamer and a pair of brown pants.

Cake.

Feed it to the Necrons, the inform them that it is a lie. Hilarity ensues.

The Galaxy Rangers.

Psyk out grenades, Terminator armor, Power Shield, Lightning Claws, and a shoulder mounted lascannon (I wish).

Amaya wrote: shoulder mounted lascannon (I wish).

I think the predators have what you need.

I'll just be a GK Grandmaster with some sort of s10 psyker attack instead.

I might die, but I'll kill more people than Rambo.

Great White wrote:

Amaya wrote: shoulder mounted lascannon (I wish).

I think the predators have what you need.

Shoulder mounted lascannon? Soft. Broadsides are better, 2x shoulder mounted railguns ftw!

A pistol with one bullet.

I bring the instant win button and the warhammer 40k codex collection and show it to the imperium then I hit the instant win button. Which calls down unlimited supply of myself with power armor and super human strength and an armada of 50 billion ships filled with only me. Then hundreds of warlord titans per a captial ship. Then hundreds of thousands of just copied me special forces super humans with lascannons as hand held pistols. and dreadnoughts Dreadnoughts Dreadnoughts everywhere!

Internet Off Switch
http://www.turnofftheinternet.com/

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:

TermiesInARaider wrote:Bushmaster AR-15 with an AAC .300 Blackout upper, jungle-taped magazines, Magpul collapsible stock, Trijicon dot-sight, Surefire light, M203 grenade launcher.

Heckler and Koch Mk. 23 with KAC surpressor and proprietary light/LAM.

Cut down Mossburg 500.

Cold Steel Black Bear Classic fighting knife.

Titanium-centered kevlar bodyarmor.

The best that humanity can offer, at the moment.

Why the suppressor? You have to know they are not like the video games, and only barely decrease the volume of the shots...

Also, why jungle taped magazines? Do you know for sure you'll be fighting in the jungle? I joke, I joke

Maybe so I don't attract the entire Tyranid hoard for offing a ripper? It makes it quiet enough that you can't hear the shot from miles away...

Duct tape.

Draigo. /Thread

Niko Bellic's phone. I can call a number and instantly provide myself with health, ammo, weapons, and a multitude of vehicles.

I would have to agree with the one bullet guy.

Me vs Galaxy? 1 simple choice, the Gurren Lagann
yes flinging galaxy as if they are ninja stars :3

A shamwow.

LunaHound wrote:
Me vs Galaxy? 1 simple choice, the Gurren Lagann
yes flinging galaxy as if they are ninja stars :3

I present to thee, SDF-1 Macross. Yes, for like the bajillionth time. The ultimate anime underdog EVER. xD Excluding the Lagann, probably the biggest chance of survival for a single ship.

Or a huge fire magnet!

Simple. A house with infinite food ,water ,gaming mates and internet.
And enough armies for everyone and the house cannot be destroyed or entered by the crons,tyranids and we are immortal endless fun gaming ensues.

Oh and cameras everywhere so we can follow the endless war bvetween the 2 forces and we can just laugh while drinking tons of coke.

Like 100 cans of bear mace

Artificer armour, a servo-harness a boltgun and a thunder hammer. LET EM` ALL COME!!!

The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and a towel

McGuyver.

Only my Inquisitorial Rosette. All you need.

Legion of Damnation wrote:The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and a towel

and a point of view gun, possibly the Heart of Gold/Vogon constructor fleet.

TermiesInARaider wrote:

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:

TermiesInARaider wrote:Bushmaster AR-15 with an AAC .300 Blackout upper, jungle-taped magazines, Magpul collapsible stock, Trijicon dot-sight, Surefire light, M203 grenade launcher.

Heckler and Koch Mk. 23 with KAC surpressor and proprietary light/LAM.

Cut down Mossburg 500.

Cold Steel Black Bear Classic fighting knife.

Titanium-centered kevlar bodyarmor.

The best that humanity can offer, at the moment.

Why the suppressor? You have to know they are not like the video games, and only barely decrease the volume of the shots...

Also, why jungle taped magazines? Do you know for sure you'll be fighting in the jungle? I joke, I joke

Maybe so I don't attract the entire Tyranid hoard for offing a ripper? It makes it quiet enough that you can't hear the shot from miles away...

A pistol with a silencer is still 130 decibels, you CAN hear it from kilometers away. The main point of a silencer is

A, hide the muzzle flash
and
B, Make you sound slightly further away then you are.

Neither of those is worth the price of decreased performance from your rifle.

My army

Can't believe noones said this yet but: CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.

james_w1489 wrote:Can't believe noones said this yet but: CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.

I can think of a reason why...

Marbo

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:Marbo

Rambo.

´Nuff of orks.

shrike wrote:

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:Marbo

Rambo.

They're basically the same thing...but mine has melta charges

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:

TermiesInARaider wrote:

Je suis2 au hazard wrote:

TermiesInARaider wrote:Bushmaster AR-15 with an AAC .300 Blackout upper, jungle-taped magazines, Magpul collapsible stock, Trijicon dot-sight, Surefire light, M203 grenade launcher.

Heckler and Koch Mk. 23 with KAC surpressor and proprietary light/LAM.

Cut down Mossburg 500.

Cold Steel Black Bear Classic fighting knife.

Titanium-centered kevlar bodyarmor.

The best that humanity can offer, at the moment.

Why the suppressor? You have to know they are not like the video games, and only barely decrease the volume of the shots...

Also, why jungle taped magazines? Do you know for sure you'll be fighting in the jungle? I joke, I joke

Maybe so I don't attract the entire Tyranid hoard for offing a ripper? It makes it quiet enough that you can't hear the shot from miles away...

A pistol with a silencer is still 130 decibels, you CAN hear it from kilometers away. The main point of a silencer is

A, hide the muzzle flash
and
B, Make you sound slightly further away then you are.

Neither of those is worth the price of decreased performance from your rifle.

...If you'd read the post, you'd see I didn't put it on the rifle. As you said. On the pistol.

The Nightbringer's Scythe.

A sandwich and a cup of tea

A Hulk

I grab my blanket and hide underneath it.

Edit: Some crying and whimpering may also be involved.

An MLP

the itunes library, 20 cases of patron, 5-6 beautiful women and a really fast ship. PEACE I'M OUT!

A Friday evening, no date, a bottle of Chesta and an all-Rush mix tape.

Let's rock.

A serious FYT suit and some CAMS, DAWS and maybe a lazy gun if there is room.

I'd bring my army too.... The one I'm writing about.. not just the one i own

I think that walker pictured above needs more dakka.

Psienesis wrote:I think that walker pictured above needs more dakka.

The MkIV Battle Angel has as many guns that is fitting for an Exterminator LRBT, and costly at 205pts

A swiss army knife.

An extra pair of pants.
I seem to have soiled mine.

I would bring that little furry guy Gizmo from the the Gremlin movies. Feed him after midnight and watch the galaxy become overrun in a new, even more halarious green tide.

The entire mebership of dakka, with enough dakka dakka guns to go around!

necrovamp wrote:The entire mebership of dakka, with enough dakka dakka guns to go around!

This. We'll cheese and meta them to death!

I would rather a bunch of half assed PDF troops over you lot.

Private_Joker wrote:I would rather a bunch of half assed PDF troops over you lot.

But... Why would you say that, Bro?

Why?

I'm hurt...

But unlike the PDF, the DAKKA troops wouldn't be killed to a man in 30 seconds

You're probably right, fluff armour and all. Fine I shall take you all under my wing, but if I hear any whining I will turn this train around!

"Infantry wins firefights. Tanks win battles. Artillery wins wars."

Artillery? It's basic calculus.

I'll kill them with math.

But they have more artillery than you... ALOT more.

Private_Joker wrote:You're probably right, fluff armour and all. Fine I shall take you all under my wing, but if I hear any whining I will turn this train around!

Why, sir! You appear to have illegally commandeered my locomotive! I am frankly shocked and appalled!

You don't know how to handle all that train...

I believe you shall find that I have more experience in Locomotive operation in my right foot than in your entire mortal frame, you rapscallion!

So we're going to war in a train now?

Seems like it...

Yipyioh wrote:"Infantry wins firefights. Tanks win battles. Artillery wins wars."

Artillery? It's basic calculus.

I'll kill them with math.

"if numbers won wars, it would be the mathematicians ruling the kingdom".

Private_Joker wrote:You don't know how to handle all that train...

That's not what she said!

necrovamp wrote:So we're going to war in a train now?

Indeed! We shall eviscerate the foe in a hail of lead and smoke! Our locomotive shall break through their ranks not unlike a keen dagger through a silken sheet!
With the power of Dakka, we shall smite them with the burning hatred of a thousand stars! They shall be torn in twain!

Classic lightsaber that shoots Chuck Norris Grenadier Guardsmen. Classic.

Thunder Hammer, provided I have the strength to lift the damned thing.

Ok, so i'd take the dakka crew in thier war train.....STEAM TO VICTORY!

Matt Ward.
No one would dare attack the planet he was on in case he survived and subsequently made up some random unfluffy bullsh*t about what happened which was then printed and distributed to the rest of the galaxy and taken as 'fact'.

'I WIN' button

The best joke in the world.

Me, Myself and my Hand Puppet.

necrovamp wrote:The best joke in the world.

But.. you'd have to yell it in a ton of different langauges.. And how does one tell a joke in tyranid?

Exalted all the same.

A book of witty one liners.
There will be many oppurtunities for them in the battles to come.

loota boy wrote:

necrovamp wrote:The best joke in the world.

But.. you'd have to yell it in a ton of different langauges.. And how does one tell a joke in tyranid?

Exalted all the same.

A flaw in my plan.....Anyone speak Tyranid?

My trusty Bolt Pistol and a lifetime supply of Cup-a-noodles!

Invincibility potions.

The Angry Marines

Colt 45. It gets the job done!

Insurgency Walker wrote:Colt 45. It gets the job done!

FULL OF WIN!

necrovamp wrote:

loota boy wrote:

necrovamp wrote:The best joke in the world.

But.. you'd have to yell it in a ton of different langauges.. And how does one tell a joke in tyranid?

Exalted all the same.

A flaw in my plan.....Anyone speak Tyranid?

It's called Fractured English...

BlapBlapBlap wrote:

necrovamp wrote:

loota boy wrote:

necrovamp wrote:The best joke in the world.

But.. you'd have to yell it in a ton of different langauges.. And how does one tell a joke in tyranid?

Exalted all the same.

A flaw in my plan.....Anyone speak Tyranid?

It's called Fractured English...

Hold up, i took a little highschool tyranid... Uhhh... Feedfeednomnomnom.... nomfeed..... hungerhungernom... omnomomnom..... Feeeeeeddd.... hungerfeedfeed.... Nom!

*All tyranids in a fifty-foot radius just died laughing*

Thats what we need, welcome abaord lad!

necrovamp wrote:Thats what we need, welcome abaord lad!

Indeed!

OT: Land Raiders and TDA for me and my crew, plus The Fridge of Infinity, a life time supply of burgers, dogs, bratwurst, steak, and all their accouterments, and ONE MILLION CASES OF GUINNESS.

TermiesInARaider wrote:

necrovamp wrote:Thats what we need, welcome abaord lad!

Indeed!

OT: Land Raiders and TDA for me and my crew, plus The Fridge of Infinity, a life time supply of burgers, dogs, bratwurst, steak, and all their accouterments, and ONE MILLION CASES OF GUINNESS.

I know where i'm going for the after party!

Page 196:

"Reinez was a fast draw, butarpedon moved faster."

I'll bring Ciaphas Cain. We'll both spend the whole time trying to abandon eachother to the nids, thus escaping simultaneously at breakneck speeds.

Double-barrel shotgun or .22 rifle; I wouldn't know how to use anything else. Shotgun would probably my final choice because I'm guessing it's got fewer moving parts and so would be more reliable and easier to maintain. Not to mention ammunition for it is relatively easy to make.

Yarrick. If I am about to be eaten by a boat load of yucky aliens, I want the grumpy git capable of going toe to toe with an Ork by my side!

2x Hellgun/hotshot lasgun
1x Renegade Commander Shepard.

I'm with the Tyranids, have fun getting gobbled suckas!

Something Titan-like probably very shoota and lots of fun to use.

Gotta have fun when you know your dead.

I'd side with the nids. But for the sake of the hypothetical, I'd bring...

A tag-team of Q and Discord...

or

A team made up of Eva Unit 01, Big O, Nirvash, Gwain, Big Zam, the Dragonzord, and all their respective pilots. (Since others are already bringing the SDF, Wing, and Gurren.)


OR

More simply, the zerg.

 TermiesInARaider wrote:
Bushmaster AR-15 with an AAC .300 Blackout upper, jungle-taped magazines, Magpul collapsible stock, Trijicon dot-sight, Surefire light, M203 grenade launcher.

Heckler and Koch Mk. 23 with KAC surpressor and proprietary light/LAM.

Cut down Mossburg 500.

Cold Steel Black Bear Classic fighting knife.

Titanium-centered kevlar bodyarmor.

The best that humanity can offer, at the moment.

All great until a Chaos Space Marine rocks up and he shrugs off your fire.

40K:A Jetbike, or barring that a good old lasgun.
Modern:An AH-64 apache, we all know Nids currently have no AA capabilities

 TermiesInARaider wrote:
The foul Tyranid Swarms consume entire systems as you read this. The Necrons rise again to begin their great harvest. One by one, worlds fall to the choking, corrupting grip of the Warp.

Chose your weapon.

As for me, I'd bring along a combi-plasma. >

An ork Waaagh! of all the ork clans in existence.

/thread

Bear Grylls, he shall declare the Tyranids delicious and try to eat them all.

^

 Doomhunter wrote:
Bear Grylls, he shall declare the Tyranids delicious and try to eat them all.

That was rather epic. However I would bring Immortal with me. Because no one can resist the urge to headbang when they play! Or failing that I would bring a hefty amount of Dakka members to feed to the nids/daemons/cultists

 Zathras wrote:
I call Galactus and let him know about the Tyranid all you can eat buffet that's just opened.

This is quite possible the BEST quote i have EVER heard!!

Genius.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
37 Mega tons of Napalm, some SHIP matches!

That would sort them all out!

Think might have to bring one of those volcanoe submarines though? ride the wave of Tyranid goo all over!

I would bring the mighty CHUCK NORRIS.

Not this again? lol

A bog-standard flamer for me. Nothing better for fending off hordes of beasties.

I'd Bring Matt Ward, he could write all the plot armor needed to survive.

Ooo ooo I change my mind. I know what I wanna bring. Cruddace. He's the only force capable of completely stopping a nid onslaught, effectively destroying them from within.

 Rae Ruen wrote:
Ooo ooo I change my mind. I know what I wanna bring. Cruddace. He's the only force capable of completely stopping a nid onslaught, effectively destroying them from within.

Nah, look at Jervis for that, sure he buffed the Space Wolves, but look at what he did to the Squats.

CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!
But seriously, combi melta. Is that one word?