7653
Post by: Corpsesarefun
This is the thread for the short stories of the people of dakka, previously in the 40k humour thread in the 40k gen forum 
Original thread http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/1830/208316.page#904440
THE RULES:
1. Follow the standard dakkadakka rules
2. No going to a different time period, your post must be in the same timeframe as the last one or shortly after.
3. No more than 5 locations can be active at once, if there are 5 locations being used by posters already then your story must take place at one of them.
4. If your a new character then you may add a short backstory at the beginning of your first post before your addition to the story itself (try to keep your entrance to the story at an active location too)
5. have fun
If anyone finds their name in any stories and wishes it to be removed then just shoot a PM at the poster politely asking for the name to be changed and it shall
Cheese Elemental
Lord Cheese, Emperor of Chan IV, sat brooding in his throne, glaring at the World of Warcraft player kneeling before him, clad in ripped and ragged clothes. Cheese leaned fowards in his throne, lowering his face to within an inch of the pathetic creature's face. The WoWfan slowly raised his head, shivering with terror. The Mark of Blizzard on his forehead stood out on his pale, sunlight-fearing skin.
Cheese snorted derisively under his crowned helmet, leaning back in his throne. It was a marvelous creation, forged from pure nerdrage, the many carvings on it depicting scenes of Mechas being blasted to smithereens by Leman Russ Battle Tanks and Dakkaites being ripped to shreds by ravenous MTG players.
Cheese spoke, his smooth, slightly English voice breaking the silence of the throne chamber.
"Is this the best you could manage, Moot?" he asked his Administrator, not taking his gaze off the WoWfan.
"Indeed, my lord. The others either perished in the crash or were killed by the men before they recieved the order to bring some in alive."
Cheese tilted his head. "A pity," he murmured. "I would have liked to have met the scum who said the Imperium of Games Workshop was the greatest power in the galaxy. Ah, how their screams would have resounded around the fortress!"
"Indeed, my lord." said Moot, backing away into the shadows.
Cheese was completely still. Reaching down beside his throne, he drew his ornate Blade of Flame. It was this blade that had made the feared warrior-woman Lunahound upset and caused the man known as Frazzled to launch an invasion with the Great Army of Ban, which had been driven off after a long week of being unable to communicate with his allies (his transmission screens had simply displayed the message 'Banned until 14/7/999.M41). It was a gift to him from the neighbouring planet of Warseer, a world that Cheese had once found to be repulsive in the extreme.
He examined the carvings on the hilt of the power sword, enchanted by their beauty. Then, quick as a flash, he plunged the blade into the WoWfan's chest. His mouth opened in a silent scream as blood bubbled from his throat, and he collapsed fowards as Cheese ripped the blade free.
"No sport at all," he spat. "Dakkaites are so much more pleasureable to kill."
His two Troll bodyguards stepped fowards and picked up the body, hauling it away to the lair of the beast.
The door to the throne room suddenly swung open, and a tall, armoured figure strode forth. The faces of trolls and images of flames were carved into his plate armour and the hilt of his sword. Stopping in front of the throne, he removed his helmet, and Cheese jumped in shock.
It was the mighty warrior Gwar, the mighty half-troll who had once been Cheese's comrade-in-arms before he was defeated in a duel by the Dakkaite Emperor Yakface, before being cast into a dark portal by the Arch-Artificier Legoburner's Blue Screen Generator.
Cheese quickly composed himself. "Gwar," he began, "it is good to see you after these many long years. I was beginning to think that you would never be able to reformat yourself successfully."
"Indeed, Brother Cheese." said Gwar. "I beheld many terrible things in that realm, and experienced great frustration. Legoburner certainly knows how to program a virus."
"Things have not been so good recently, Brother. More and more Dakkaites have taken up arms against me, and some have even started Ignoring me. Even my comrades from Australianus have turned on me, even the wise and calm Sebster and the bitter old Chromedog."
"That is unfortunate to hear, Cheese." replied Gwar. "But fear not, for during my time in the Realm of Blue Screen, I managed to rally a large army of banned Trolls and convinced the defeated Arch-Powergamer Green Blow Fly and the Tactical Genius Stelek to join us in our glorious crusade.
Cheese's face lit up. "Excellent, Gwar! With the four of us leading the Trolls, Flamebaiters, Neckbeards and Powergamers, nothing shall stop us! I can already feel the universe tremble at our approach! Even the Mods know our names!
The door to the chamber swung open again, and two figures stepped in. One wore a Watchmen T-Shirt and had the look of a Powergamer around him, and the other was tall and mysterious, clad in a long black hooded robe that obscured his face. Not an inch of skin showed, and his glowing eyes betrayed no love for fluff.
"Cheese, these men are Green Blow Fly" -he indicated the Powergamer- "and Stelek, the Tactical Genius." They will be our key to victory, for they have both had DCM status in the past and know all the secrets of the Dakka system."
"Excellent!" Cheese grinned broadly, a wide Troll-smile that showed all of his white teeth. "Prepare the fleets, for today, the Mods shall hear our voice! Not even the mighty Yakface shall ignore us! Frazzled's deck-chair will be shattered, Killkrazy shall experience the Blue Screen, Alpharius will have the special rules for his Legion taken away, and Waaagh of Gonads shall have his post count reset! None shall stop us! Together, we shall crush the weakling Dakka system, and turn it into a permanent outpost of 4chan! We already have a foothold on Off-Topic, and we are gaining ground on the Forge World of Articles!"
All around the fortress, the Troll bodyguards heard a rare sound; the harsh, insane laughter of Lord Cheese the Fallen.
7653
Post by: Corpsesarefun
Shadowice
meanwhile on the other side of the system a dark robed figure stood in silence infront of the computer screen, lost deep in thought after what he had just read.
on one level it was a masterful plan, but on another it seemed like an incredibly stupid idea to post all the details on a public forum, especially the verry forum that the plans involved. something just didn't sit right about the entire situation.
the robed figure switched off the computer screen and sat down in the dark, pondering what he had just read and looking for any possible alternatives.
hours later as the sun was rising footfalls could be heard down the hallway.
the dark figure stood with bow in hand and rushed to the door ready to face any threat that might have located him.
as the footfalls got louder he could soon hear the sound of someones heavy breathing, it sounded as if they had run halfway across the world.
suddenly the figure was upon him, the robed figure drew a bead on his target just as the man stopped and squeled.
"DONT SHOOT DUDE, IM ON UR TEAM!"
the figure looked at the mans face, thick of neck and with a mono-brow and half grown beard, then recognition came.
"nordadas, what are you doing here!"
"master... i-i came as quickly as i could, the outposts are gone, they are swarming us. they have the power of chuck norris we cant sto-"
"SILENCE! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MENTION HIS NAME!"
"i-i'm sorry master, i didn't mean to..."
"shutup, what's happened."
"they've taken the outposts, they are too strong, there's to many of them, i was at the front when it started talking with some warriors and then the hounds started barking. we had no idea what it was but after the kennel master managed to silence them we heard it."
"heard what damn you!"
"it...it was a battle cry... at first we couldn't identify it, but then as it got closer it became clearer... it was the trolls. it was the dreaded 'OLOLOLOLOL'"
"...but HOW! we DESTROYED THEM YEARS AGO! that cry hasn't been heard here for years!"
"we don't know where they came from, but the warriors ordered the paraphets manned by mages and archers, but it was too late, before even a dozen bowmen were in place they were over the walls... they... THEY USED THERE OWN MEN TO BUILD A RAMP!"
"gak. where are they now! were there any survivors?"
"a few... not many, we got a bird from stone mountain, they had been taken, the castellan was the only man still alive, and only because he had burnt his own ladder sealing himself in the tower. we suspect that bird was the last thing he ever did. as for the others we found only ruins and corpses aplenty. ours and theres in equal number. there is barely a dozen of us, all warriors from my post."
the dark figure sat down again suddenly exausted. he could hardly comprehend what had just been told him. the trolls had returned, and with more men than ever seen before. he had to do something, but they had destroyed all the outposts in hours, it was unprecidented. he had only one course of action left. with the plans he had just seen and the attack he had just received word of there was no alternative.
"we leave now." he said snatching up his bow and spear.
"where are we going to go?" the pathetic wretch seemed to cower before him. it was pathetic, he might have killed him then but if they encountered the trolls every man was a distraction.
"gather your men, theres a ship waiting, you have 5minutes or the lot of you stay here."
the man scurryed off as fast as his legs could take him. meanwhile the robed man hurryed down to the yard when he heard it off in the distance. it was a high pitched whiny sound at first, completly un-intelligable... but it was aproaching at rapid speeds. then he could identify it. it was a warcry. the trolls had found them, the wretch and his men had been followed!
the wretch and his men were running towards the ship as he entered the yard at full speed, he jumped onto the wing and into the cockpit in 2 swift moves, and started the ship as he seen the first of them. he lifted off just as the first of them reached the ship and just made it out of there grasp. he heard a scream underneath him and spared a glance. the wretch was too slow, him and two of his warriors were being dragged under the tide... and beaten down. nevermind, he was useless anyway.
he threw back his hood and long dark hair reflected the moonlight like polished crystal. deep blue eyes so dark they seemed black in the dark gazed at the com screen in fornt of him. he knew what he had to do and fast. he opened a cumunication to the only one who would receive him 'welcomely'.
"WUT DA YEW WANT!" a gutteral voice growled through the speakers.
"the time has come my friend. i have decided to call in that favor you owe me."
"OOO DA 'ELL DA YA THINK TA ARE! GAZZGHULL THRAKA OWES NO MAN FAVA'S!"
as the com screen crackled into life he gazed into the ugly half mechanized face that was the orc warboss 'gazzghull thraka'. he enabled his own com-screen and the orc recoiled from the picture.
"why it's me old friend, the man who gave you all those nice powerclaws for your boyz, all them cybork bodies... remeber a little more now?"
"ARRGH, WUT U WANT, IT BETTA BE GOOD OTHA WIZE I SENDN DA BOYZ DOWN TA KRUMP YA!"
"i bring you war my good friend. the trolls are back. i don't know how but they are back, and they are stronger than ever. i don't know who done it but someone has broken the seal. the bastards are spilling out of there hole into our plane even as we speak... 4chan is opened, and it is here."
"WUT! OW DA ELL DID YA LET DAT APPEN YA STUPID UMIE...
BOYZ...BOYZ!! SOUND DA HORNS, WE'Z GOT WAR TA DO!"
"ahh, i knew you would see it that way. thank you. head to nagrand. it's where the last seal is kept. we MUST not let them break /b/ or all is lost."
as the comunication ended the man sighed. it had gone well, he had dreaded what would happen if his cybonic implants had stopped working. it had taken quite a lot of effort to remove half that orcs head, and even more to make sure the 'doc' chose the right parts to fix it. if he hadn't agree'd many lives would have been for naught. as he opened another com-link a larger fear gripped him. the people he was about to call were the greatest warriors in the universe. but this was a risk even they might not take.
"well hello there good chap, who might you be" a jolly sounding voice asked as the com screen crackled to life. before him a tall man sat with a cup of light brown liquid in his hands and a plate of crumpets before him.
"i'm a friend. and one in need of help. my name is not important now, not untill i know i can count on you."
"well then, that seems like an awfully queer reply, you may call me eldrad. now what could i do for you today old chap?"
"my planet has fallen. the outposts are gone, /tg/ is loose. we need help from all we can count on. the trolls are striking for the final seal. they will break /b/ before nightfall if you don't help us. please, i am but one man, and a few warriors, all wounded. i have called the warbosses to nagrand to defend it. but they are too far, you are the only ones who can help now."
"BLOODY HELL MAN! how did this happen. right o then. this is a grave situation. just let me get a look at you so i know who to speak to when we arrive."
eldrar grasped for something slightly off screen and raised a hand to his eye. as he lowered it there was a monacle covering it, a gasp escaped him.
"y-y-YOU!"
"yes. it's me. war has come and i intend to fight. we can talk more on nagrand. and maybe you can bring some of your nice young ladys with you. just tell them shadow ice is waiting."
as the com screen died before him and he entered orbit shadow glanced down onto the ruined planet beneath him, where once a barren planet had stood now there was nothing but flames. how the trolls managed to conjur flames from dirt he didn't know, but the message was clear. the final seal would be broken. and he had to stop it. as he programmed the nav system a curse escaped his lips.
"damn you cheese, and damn you twice gwar. may the others take you both. and pray that enough warriors will stand with us."
7653
Post by: Corpsesarefun
Emperors Faithfull
The ceiling shuddered in the throne room, dust sifting down to the floor with each mighty crash against the doors.
Emperors Faithful left his men to brace the gates, it was a vain effort he knew, only a matter of time before the army of Trollz broke in. He aproached the hooded figure at the foot of the throne.
"M'Lord Frazzled, we have failed you. YMTC keep has fallen, only Backround Hive remains."
The figure remained silent.
"M'Lord...What are we to do now? Is all lost?" asked EF.
The figure stirred. "All is not lost, faithful servant. We are divide, shattered, but I can gather our forces. Manchu of the Drunk-Wolf-People, the loyal Donald Trump dog, the kind and caring Moonhound (Luna) and many others who cannot abide the troll, the threadnecro or the heretic. We can make a stand against this evil....But I'll need time."
EF stood still, the realization of what was being asked of him sinking in. "We shall buy you that time, M'lord. Take the west gate, we still have some friends in the Off Topic region, perhaps you should start there?"
"The Emprah shall take note of your sacrifice EF, and you're ridiculously funny signatures." Said Frazzled, clasping his hand on EF's shoulder.
"Really?" replied EF "No else seems to notice..."
"We all notice EF, and loled much in private. Farewell EF, and may the mods be with you." And with that Frazzled took off down one of the hidden corridors.
"No Frazzled, may the mods be with you." Whispered EF.
EF rallied the troops in the throne room, this was to be thier last stand.
"No matter what comes through that gate you WILL stand your ground!" Shouted EF.
With an almighty crash, the gates broke. The slavering army of trolls and RAW spawns rushed into the room, eager to kill, maim and slaughter. Despite thier savagrey, they could not stand before the righteous fury of EF. Despite thier numbers, despite thier fangs and stinging remarks, EF sensed that victory was near.
...But the power of the Troll Lord... could not be broken.
His men defeated, slain outright by the trolliness of Gwar! and the cheesyness of Cheese, EF sagged to his knees. His last living memory was the sight of the horde of trolls decending upon him, and the laughter of the thirsting gods...
...But all was not lost, for even now the forces of good gather. They are readying thier armies, steeling themselves for the inevitable end times, the prophesised NERDAGEDDON
7653
Post by: Corpsesarefun
Brother Stynier
The planet's surface was broken and tainted, burnt out forests and ruined city scapes dotted the horizon as far as the eye could see. Bodies and burning wrecks littered the area, where Lord Commissar General Frazzled's proud forces once stood in defiance of the hordes of Arc Heretic Cheese Elemental. "Is this what we left this world too?" crackled a hoarse voice through a helmet vox.
"So it would seem Lord Alpharius," replied GoFenris, sweeping his boltgun around in search of any threat. "But fear not, I hear tale that other MODs have made contact with the Lord Commissar, and that they have chosen to dispatch more of my brother Astartes of Dakka Contributus in attempt to aid the beleaguered forces there."
"It matters not GoFenris, the Heretic has managed even to gain hold on beloved Chapter." said the Giant in blue green power armour as he lifted what had formerly been a helmet in the service of the OT Guard Forces, he gazed at momentarily before casting it back to the ground. "What of the Church of the Turtle Pie?"
"You know what's become of them Brother." responded a voice from behind, Alpahrius turned to see his Brother Moderator Iorek stepping from a recently arrived Land Raider along with an escort of Astartes, who along with GoFenris' marines had begun to cleanse the field. "Ever since our wise and powerful Lord Yakface ordered their disbanding they have been a broken group, several of which have fallen under the sway of the Heretic."
"Our Lord was wise to disbanned them, their ways were to similar to the Arch Heretic for their own good. But this, this is a conversation for another time Brother Iorek, tell me why have you come here?" inquired, his arms raised in question.
"Frazzled's forces are once again under attack my friend, and the Troll Gwar! leads Cheese's forces." Alparius' eyes narrowed at the mention of the Troll King, had his banishment truly ended so soon, no it couldn't be possible. Iorek smiled sadly as he noticed the question in his old friend's eyes. "I'm afraid its true Brother, I've dispatched Malfred and two teams of Astartes to help hold him off."
Alpharius shook his head sadly and motioned to GoFenris to recall his Brothers, they would be needed to help with the siege, with any luck they wouldn't be too late. He shot one last glance at his brother, "I truly hope they are enough my friend."
"As do I..." responded Iorek as he watched his fellow mod and his marines board the Thunder Hawk. The craft lurched to life and lifted off into the bleak ash filled sky's of OT heading for the last remaining Dakka stronghold.
.
7653
Post by: Corpsesarefun
Deffdred
It had been many a years ago,Deff had once been a happy farmer.His wife Sophia and his children were his life.He had liked working with his hands.Toiling upon the fields in the hot sun had filled him with delight.He was but a simple farm lad with a beautiful wife and three healthy children,he had been happy.Until that terrible day,the first war of the trolls had begun on his home planet.This tiny farm world would now be host to death.Sending in their allie Arch lichlord Corpsesarefun,the man and his infernal horde of marching death had come.He was a mad man,ripping the planet apart in war as he had ordered his grand ship,"The spirit of Damnation"to rain death upon all.It's bombardments had killed Deff's family as they attempted escape to the back lines as Deff had held the front line with the rest of the men.The planet was held and finally the first war of the trolls had ended with their defeat at the battle of ban.The Mod lords of Terra had cast the darklord's back to the depths of the internet.It had been peaceful for a time but Deff could not shake the feeling that something,something greater more and more evil was coming.He had since inlisted in the guard,rising through the ranks he now commanded a regiment of the galaxies finest men.As the second war of the trolls begun,he was sent to the far reaching system of Nerdia.The populace helpless as the horde of trolls advanced.This is the tale of the events that unfoldeded upon the planet of Nerdia V.....
"Ready the gun batteries men!"Commanded Deff.The men hurried around him as he stood with his cloak flapping in the breeze,his ornate and gold armour polished as always.The trolls were coming and he would be damned if he would let the hive of WHFB discussion fall to the them."Batteries readied sir."Barked the officer in charge of the defence batteries."Good,we will need them."Said Deff.His men had dug in deep,within the town square as all the other sectors of the hive had already been taken by the trolls in thier sweeping advance.Luckily the populace had been evacuated a month before.It was a proper battle now,no innocent men or women would die.He knew that they had sent Corpses,the man had survived the great ban by hiding in the deepest corners of Dakka.He had sworn many a year ago that he would have his vengence."Ok men prepare to make final checks,we need all alert.When they come give em hell boys!!"Shouted Deff loudly.
Meanwhile in sector 11 Corpsesarefun readied for his attack...
"Bring all across the portal!"He yelled.
"Yes Master."Said his conven of necromancer.
The men chanted and the large portals brought down from his ship sprang into life.The dead poured through,this would be a battle of attrition.
The horde shambled foward but these were no mere zombies.They were the madmans pride and joy,his lifes crowning work.The Zorks were marching to war.
Augmented and part ork,part zombie and part machine the beasts were deadly.
"We are reaching power capacity master the gates cannot handle any more for now."Spoke the coven in unison.
"That will be all for now,my entire horde is almost gathered.We must not let our Troll masters down."Said Corpsesarefun.
And so the shambling horde advanced all sectors were almost full up with trolls and the living dead.They would take this hive,no matter the cost.Lord Gwar demanded it.
Nerida,town square,five hours into the attack....
"Hold fast brave men of the imperium,we must beat back these beasts!"Yelled Deff.
The causalties inflicted upon the Zorks and trolls had been heavy.Yet Deff's own men had paid a heavy toll if life and limb aswell.He could not hold the incoming horde,the defense batteries had stopped working long ago,over heating or running out of ammunition.The horde advanced still inwards.Deff was not looking at the horde,he wanted vengence he was looking for Corpses.Peering across the square he saw yet more zombies he had a back up plan in place,but this meant his death.They could not hold the horde anymore,and if he they could not hold the planet anymore it would be better to destroy it then to let the trolls have it.
Rushing to the Vox caster set on a table he frantically pushed and proded the dials and buttons trying to get hold of a ship.
"Hello this is the Pirax flame command bridge,why have you hailed this line?"Questioned a voice.
"I am commander Deff of the 310th Dakka guns,I must call exterminatus."Said Deff.
"You have no authority to give us such an order."Barked the voice.
"The planet,it is over run with trolls we need the bombardment and we need it now!!!"Yelled Deff.
"Good emperors hairy balls,trolls I thought we had seen the last of them!"Spat the voice.
"Yes,I thought so to now can you send the bombardment?"Questioned Deff.
"Sir I am sorry we have no clearance,you and your boys are on your own.May the Mods be with you."Said the voice and with that a click came.Deff and his men were alone holding off an alien menace.
10 hours into the battle...
Corpsesare fun walked among the shattered remains of the once great imperial square the battle had been a hard one.The men of the Imperium holding fast for longer then expected of them.
"Master this one still breaths"Said one of his coven.
Walking over Corpses saw the shattered remains of a barely alive Imperial commander.His dog tag read simply "Deff."
"Bring him up to ship,Master Gwar will be most pleased to have an Imperial official to torture for information."
"Yes sir."Said his coven
7653
Post by: Corpsesarefun
Cheese Elemental
“Press the attack!" roared Lord Cheese the Fallen, leaping over the ruins of the wall in his path. Dozens of his Chaos-worshipping servants rushed into the fray beyond, tearing into the Dakkaites with a berserk fury. At the centre of the action, a trio of lone DCMs, their names forgotten, fought bravely, cutting down the Traitor Marines who broke through the ranks of the Astartes. Their power swords crackled and flashed as they clove effortlessly through power armour, sending the traitors toppling to the cold rockcrete floor.
A loud boom echoed around the chamber as the shells of the renegade Basilisks blasted another hole in the bastion, allowing Gwar and a large group of his trolls to surge into the breach, where they started hacking apart the unfortunate Scout Marines who had been assigned meatshield duty.
The initial wave of Cultists had been worn away by the steadfast defences of the Astartes, and Cheese was about to signal the retreat. But then, a loud rumbling filled the air, and a crushing wave of zealots of the Turtle Pie swarmed around Cheese and smashed into the Dakkaitus Marines, bringing many of them down through superior numbers. Urging them on was the fanatical prophet Mekboy, screaming blasphemous litanies to his dark god.
Cheese raised his face to the heavens and laughed maniacally, then ran fowards into the battle. "YES! Kill them ALL!" he roared, swinging the Blade of Flaming in wide arcs that gutted Marines and sent waves of nerdrage pulsing through the zealots, driving their fluff-fanaticism to insane levels. More of the Astartes fell, crushed beneath the feet of the zealots or wounded through the gaps in their armour.
"Brothers!" yelled a DCM-sergeant. "Initiate a tactical withdrawal!"
The remaining Space Marines hurried to obey, falling back into their Land Raider Crusader, Blade of Yakface, all the while firing deadly bursts of bolter fire into the seething mass of zealots and traitors. But Cheese would not be denied a taste of glory. He rushed fowards, smashing aside the men who stood in his way, and charged into one of the DCMs. The Marine stumbled to the ground before clambering back to his feet in a flash, his thunderhammer at the ready.
Cheese and the DCM slowly paced in a circle, not taking their eyes off each other even as the Land Raider's ramp closed shut and it backed away through the rubble. The zealots cheered and screamed their victory to the skies, awaiting the sight of blood in the imminent duel.
Quick as a flash, Cheese leapt fowards with a roar of fury, swinging the Blade of Flaming in a downwards arc that would have cloven the DCM in two were it not for his thunderhammer intercepting the blow. He swung in return, the powerful weapon glancing Cheese's pauldron and sending him spinning to the ground. As he advanced fowards to try and smash Cheese while he was down, the Fallen One rolled aside, dodging the thunderhammer and sweeping his blade through the air. The DCM screamed and fell to his knees, his right arm lying convulsing on the ground, the hammer's crackling head sparking and trembling as its internal workings struggled to hold together after the hard landing.
Cheese got to his feet. Glaring down at the DCM with contempt, he spat on his faceplate.
"Is this truly the best you can muster, Yakface? Is this truly one of the great DCMs? Pathetic!"
As he finished talking, he swung his blade in a deadly horizontal slash that removed the Marine's head. It clattered to the ground, the lifeblood draining from the neck. Cheese held it aloft, and signalled to his followers to march forth! If this was the best Yakface had, then nobody could stop them!
As Gwar's trolls followed the zealots out of the breach in the ruins, a loud roaring filled the air as a trio of Thunderhawks soared overhead, disgorging dozens of Marines wearing jump-packs, their chainswords growling with righteous fury as they crashed into Cheese's surprised troops. Leading them was a tall Astartes wearing blue and green armour, his blade cutting down traitors and zealots like wheat.
"So," muttered Cheese. "The mighty Alpharius has taken to the field. Very well then, Moderator. Let us see if you are as weak as your foolish predecessor."
Cheese raised his blade and plasma pistol, roaring a challenge to the Moderator and rushing fowards into the thunderous melee.
7653
Post by: Corpsesarefun
Brother Stynier
Shells rained down upon them, men of the Dakkaite 1337th Imperial Guard dove for cover as the first rounds impacted near their positions blowing some of those unlucky enough to be in the open to pieces. There he stood though, the venerable Commissar standing defiantly on the wreck of a Leman Russ, shotgun in one hand and Planetary Flag in the other. Quietly he stood there as death rained down all around, men and women who previously cowered in the bottom of hastily dug fox holes prepped themselves for the coming storm. As the artillery fire began to die down the troopers began to hear the thunderous marching of the Trolls, Orks and tainted men approaching, the Commissar just smiled as he clicked on his vox bead, "Artillery open fire." he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper.
His order was answered with the thunderous fire of Dakkaite Arty, his smile grew into a much larger grin as the shells slammed into the enemy lines blowing their poorly formed formations to bits. He charged forward, flag and shotgun still in hand to some sandbags at the front and struck a dramatic pose inspiring his soldiers with his calm presence.
"Enemy inside perimeter" crackled his vox, still his smile did not fade, this was expected. "Take them down Marines."
"Affirmative, Emperor protect you Commissar." responded the Marine.
"And you." he replied, looking around him at all the Guardsmen who were beginning to take aim. The enemy would be upon them soon, they wanted to be ready.
---
Inside Hive OT
The light reflected dimly off the Gold and Black power armour of the DCM Marines and they stalked their prey through the under belly of the hive. Brother Captain Malfred, commander of the Killteam, cursed under his breath as he tracked the lead Troll with his boltgun. "Brothers Jin, and Grizgrin are you in position?"
"Affirmative Captain." they responded. Good, thought Malf, the heavy bolter would prove invaluable from the position they had marked earlier. He looked to his right and left, next to him stood Brothers Combatmedic and Whitedragoon, their Combi-Plasma Guns ready, he nodded and the two crept closer to the ledge bringing their weapons up to a firing position. Malf had one last group to check in on, he looked down at a pool of sewage near the rear, were Brothers GMMStudios and Stynier lay in wait. "Brothers, in position?"
"Affirmative." the two responded in tandem. Malf smiled, of course it was hidden as the Dakka Marines had enough sense to wear their helmets, everything was ready the trolls had entered their trap.
"Strike Brothers." he commanded. Grizgrin was the first to fire, his heavy bolter coughing loudly in the small passage way raining death upon those bellow. Jin stood firing next to him, his hellfire bolts igniting the foul creatures and causing them to scream in pain. Mean while Studios and Stynier emerged from the sludge, Studios unleashing a stream of promethium at the foe, while Stynier put a burst of fire from his Combi-Melta into the closest target. Malf, Medic and Whitedragoon stood from their cover and added their bolter fire to the fray. The fire fight was short lived, the ambush succesfull, but something didn't sit well with the Marines as they gathered. The sound of claws on metal shrieked through the air and as one the killteam turned to face its source, another Troll party had emerged lead by one of Gwars! chosen. The creature let loose a foul howl and charged.
---
On the surface the enemy had finally gotten, close, too close for artillery and mortars to be effective. The Commissar continued to stand on the sandbags, though now barking out orders for squads to open fire. Enemies dropped like flies as they got closer and closer, he knew soon they would be in charge range. Looking at his shotgun, he forcefully shoved the flag pole into the earth and readied his weapon, at the same time barking orders for the troopers to fix bayonets.
The Troll rally master suddenly howled and motioned forward with the swipe of a claw the horde began its charge.
"MEN AND WOMEN OF DAKKA!" bellowed the Commissar, "STAND YOUR GROUND, FOR THIS IS OUR LAND AND WE SHALL NOT GIVE IN TO THE LIKES OF THESE FOUL CREATURES!"
A round him troopers yelled in response, yelled in the face of certain death firing their weapons as the enemy charged. They were close now, close enough to engage with blade and stock. The Commissar grinned a wide, horrifying grin, one that would have startled Gwar! himself and lept off of the sandbags towards the rally master, as he fired the weapon into the creature's head he yelled,
"GET OFF MY LAWN!"
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
Drednote
On the Forge World of Pian Demblogs, the adepts were restless. Rumours of swiftly approaching war had reached their ears, and preparations for battle were being made. The forges pumped out ceaseless streams of guns, tanks and ammunition. And in the highest towers of the central forge complex, the priests of the Omnissiah awaited further news.
The menial, who the holy techpriests had blessed by replacing his legs with a unicycle, wheeled respectfully into the chamber where the rulers of Pian Demblogs sat deep in thought. A dozen pairs of mechanical eyes looked up at him, glinting in the low light.
"My Lords," he began, "another astropathic message has come through from Pian Dem!"
"Recite it, menial," instructed the closest techpriest. The menial's built-in recording system whirred into life, and a strange, distorted voice filled the room.
"hay you guys, were getting pwnt! HALP PLZ KTHX"
The techpriests were silent for a moment. Finally, one spoke up.
"Then it is time. Send in the legion."
Princeps Dreadnote had been waiting for the call all day, and when it finally came, he wasted no time. Hurrying to the Titan hangar, he raced to his machine, the route ingrained deep in his memory. Settling into the command throne and engaging the mind-link, he was filled once again with that familiar feeling - power, and contempt for the scurrying creatures below. He clenched his fists, flexing the ancient steel of his machine.
"Modarati, are we ready?"
"All systems green, princeps. Megabolter loaded, reactor online."
"Then take us out".
The Reaver Titan strode towards the waiting transport ship, powerfists clenched in anticipation of battle. The Face Puncher marched to war
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
Shadowice
the lone grand master peered down through the haze and looked upon ruin. everywhere he looked there was war, he was too late. he had spent too much time with the angry marines and it had cost him.
the eldar were nowhere to be seen and the orks had turned sides to stand by the foul wretched creatures known as trolls and fanatics. he had no choice, yakface's position had been overwhelmed and the assault marine reserves deployed to buy time untill he arrived.
he just hoped what he brought could be enough to hold the swarm of foul beings overwhelming his brothers.
as his ships descended the trolls got into close combat with the main guard line, that's when shadow ice realised he had to get there faster.
"PROTOCOL 7113. NOW!"
all around him the ship burst into action as missiles were readyed. the servitors only just now finishing the heart warming messages painted on there tips.
"with love, from your mother."
marines poured out from there quarters. further down the corridor he could make out the shadow of a fallen brother, imprisoned in a dreadnaught to fight again.
it all came down to this, our time was now, if we failed then the end is upon us.
"missiles armed captain douche...SIR!" a lone scout called to him.
"FIRE! NOW!" shadow screamed as he jumped ontop of a missile. in the blink of an eye he was falling, then the thrusters kicked in, all around him thousands of marines voices rose in unison.
"ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME!"
moments before they made landfall in the center of the troll horde shadow glanced sidelong at commisar fuklaw. he held a particular affection for that angry old man, he was almost like a father to him.
as one the marines lept from there explosive one use transports and a wave of heat swept over them.
they had gone off course and landed closer to the front than they had intended and were completly surrounded by hostiles.
shadow lead the warcry this time with the marines taking it up in short order. a deafening shout went up from everyone.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
the marines unleashed a hellish storm of bolter fire in a ring as fuklaw cried out "FORM A DEFENSIVE RING BROTHERS!" all around them death rained. shadow took aim and unleashed a half dozen shots into a trolls face, he was taller than the others, most likely one of Gwar!s chosen.
"BROTHERS! CARVE A HOLE THROUGH THESE FOOLS WE MUST REACH OUR ASSAULT BROTHERS BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!" a voice cried out.
as they slowly started to move through the mass of trolls shadow heard the hideous sound of metal tearing ahead of him, as he glanced up he seen a dreadnaught rising from the ground, bright golden paint shining, shadow let out a low laugh as the dreadnaught grabbed a troll and started using it as a club. muttering to itself how he had finally found a use for them.
the fighting soon got too close to them and they abandoned there bolters and drew there melee weapons. all around him brother took up clubs wrapped in barbed wire, bricks and peices of wood with nails through them.shadow ripped a trolls arm off and started using it as a weapon for lack of a better choice.
the fighting lasted for what seemed like hours as thousands of trolls and hundreds of brothers died. shadow started the fight with a severed arm and left with someones intestines tied to the end of a pole, using it as a whip. shadow dimly remembered slaying a troll brandishing yakface's head as a weapon, but it was not the time to mourn the dead.
soon he was seperated, surrounded by trolls when a gutteral voice screamed something intelligable. then he was upon him, claws swiping for shadows face.
"GWAR!" shadow gasped.
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Post by: shadowice558
good stuff mate. but you should try seperating everyones posts.
one post, one story.
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
(Mine might tell the story of the defense of the Hive and then a couple others later.)
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Post by: Gwar!
Now guys, you think it would be better if t WASN'T in a horrendous mind melting mishmash? 
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Post by: shadowice558
hey, i can't write them all man.
it's not my fault i had to delegate some of the responsibility...
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
shadowice558 wrote:good stuff mate. but you should try seperating everyones posts.
one post, one story.
Its kind of a little late for that now 
but in most cases i have tried to keep it to a post a story.
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Post by: shadowice558
put your back into it man!
if we take the time to write these things surely you could have taken the time to organise them.
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Post by: Gwar!
shadowice558 wrote:put your back into it man!
if we take the time to write these things surely you could have taken the time to organise them.
You write them because I am t3h awesome
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Post by: shadowice558
THATS IT! we have to set up somewhere private to chat about this.
in the last 5 minutes ive posted/responded to a dozen posts.
i'm typing more here than i do on msn.
that and my inbox keeps getting 100+ messages overnight from machinegod XD
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
Aim or msn?
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Post by: shadowice558
OH COME ON!
that was just too quick.
i vote msn, cause i dont like or use aim.
skype is also good (if my 4 year old version still works.)
steam is an option for me as well.
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
Steam works, or MSN.
What the feth is Skype?
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Post by: shadowice558
its a way to use voice chat and msn at the same time...sort of.
a mate got me to download it years ago, but i only ever used it for about half an hour once.
add me on steam: shadowice558
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Post by: Cheese Elemental
Computer phone.
Silly really.
Oh snap, ninja'd.
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
Hmm.
My steam should be: brotherstynier
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Post by: Gwar!
Steam is full of more Spyware than Sony's CD's D:
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
ill add you guys on msn
im corpsesarefun@hotmail.co.uk
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Post by: shadowice558
mines on my profile.
same as my email really.
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Post by: Gwar!
Mkay, I haz made a new MSN account, just click the button you lazy people
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Post by: Deff Dread red Edition
So for the purposes of designing a more unified story would it be ok if I added you guys to my MSN?
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
Apparently I cant find any of you on msn
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Post by: shadowice558
yeah, feel free to add me to msn or steam as you see fit.
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Post by: Cheesepie
So much effort you people put into this
but as everyone says (or just me) EFFORT MAKES FOR AWESOME!
Just try not to over do this and kill it. It would be a shame for a great thread
like this to die. And one suggestion ADD JERVIS
and omg emperors faithful 2500 posts in a few months you really dont
have anything better to do eh? Same goes for the rest of you
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Post by: shadowice558
ill have you know ive managed 50 in a day!
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
Alpharius activated his jump pack once more, launching himself further into the fray towards the Arch Heretic, his Blade of the Moderatus reaping through foes with ease. Cheese's challenging roar was met with a reptilian snarl, as he brought his blade up stopping the Heretic's own. "The Sergeant was a valued Brother heretic!" spat Alpharius, he brought his blade in for another strike which was easily parried by his foe. "You shall pay for his defilement!"
Around them GoFenris' Assault Marine cut their way through the heretic center, buying valuable time for the men of the 1337th who were hard pressed under the Assault of the Hordes' Vanguard. Traitors surrounded the brave Marines, out numbering them hundreds to one, never once was the out come of their battle questioned their survival was not part of the plan. In orbit the Litany of Dakka was preparing an Orbital Strike on their position, they simply had to hold out long enough for their Brothers and the Guardsmen to escape, there would be another day, and another battle for OT.
Alpharius ducked under a sweep of Cheese's blade, barely managing to avoid the decapitating blow, his foe had grown powerful far more powerful than he remembered. He brought a fist up into his armoured gut, his super human strength denting where it hit, Cheese staggered backwards but managed to parry the blow that followed. Alph swore, how had they let this, this creature become so powerful?
---
OT Gates, 1337th Regiment, Commissar Frazzled
The venerable Commissar's shotgun fell to the ground, it had run dry and there was no time to reload. In one swift motion Frazzled drew both his Boltpistol and Powersword, thumbing the activation rune on one while firing the other into the head of a traitor. For an Old man he seemed to move as though he were an Eldar, dodging and parrying blows that would have killed a lesser man. Righteous fury burned with in him as his blade struck heads from beasts and his pistol blew flesh from bodies, around him his troopers fought valiantly to hold the line, they had to allow the others time to escape.
"Frazzled," crackled the voice of High Artificer Leggoburner through the vox. Frazz, you must pull back as many of your men as possible. Too many good men and women have already fallen this day."
The Commissar did not reply, he couldn't reply OT was his home the thought of leaving it to this horde did not sit well with him. "Frazz, there is a lull in the Combat, Alpharius' distraction is buying you time, for the love of the Emperor pull out, we can't stall the bombardment any longer." came Leggo's voice once more pleading for one of the beloved Mods to with draw. Frazz nodded, "Affirmative." he said sadly, with a wave of his blade he signaled for the 1337th to fall back.
---
OT Sewers, 1st Squad First Company DCM Marines, Captain Malfred,
Brother Grizgrin and his heavy bolter were the first to respond to the Troll leader's charge, the weapon barking along with his manacle laughter as he blew several of its smaller kin apart. With out waiting for orders the others opened fire as well their assortment of bolt rounds making quick work of the others, Malf dropped his bolter on its sling and drew his Relic Blade, choosing instead to assault the large creature head on.
"Brothers Studios and Stynier, cut them off from reinforcements SEAL THE TUNNEL!" he bellowed as he swung his blade towards the beast. The two Marines nodded, Stynier took the lead cutting down Trolls that charged them with bursts of Boltgun fire allowing Studios to get behind the assault and let loose with his flamer dousing the highly flammable creatures in cleansing flame. Stynier prepped a melta bomb as the others continued to rain death upon the trolls which had foolishly let their prescience known too early, his chuckle was cut off by a bolter round slamming into his pauldron, for a moment he though he had been hit by a ricochet until he saw the power armored figures marching down the wrongly placed Space Corridor.
"Captain!" he cried as a bolt round impacted in the soft mesh of his elbow busting his arm, "TROLL MARINES!"
Malf turned to look, caught off Guard by the sudden arrival of Gwars! Legion, it had been a mistake his large foe swatted him across the room his rib cage breaking. Whitedragoon turned his Combi-Plasmagun on the creature blowing it apart with twin lances of superheated blue energy, while Combatmedic ran to the fallen Captain checking on his condition. With the troll horde defeated Grizgrin and Jin rushed forward to the mouth of the Corridor, Jin grabbing Stynier by his pack and pulling him back. Griz joined Studios in pouring fire down the tunnel, in attempt to stall the approaching Marines.
"The... charges..." coughed Malf, weakened by his injury. "Activate the charges..."
Combatmedic glanced side long at Dragoon who rushed to where the charges had fallen, he activated them and gave them a toss. They detonated in a fiery shower sealing the tunnel.
A message broadcast through the squads vox frequency, "I'm sorry Brothers," began the disheartened voice of Iorek, "We had to start the bombardment, know that Second Squad and the Imperial Guard were able to escape. Try and find a place to hide, we will return for you."
The squad glanced around at one another as Combatmedic began treating injuries, they would be safe where they were for now, but soon Gwar! would come for them.
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
Nice work stynier
TROLL MARINES
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Post by: The Dreadnote
The massive bulk of the AdMech transport Robot Octopus sped insystem at top speed, engines flaring brightly against the cold background of space. Stealth was no longer an issue; the situation on the ground had gone from bad to worse.
Princeps Dreadnote remained in the cockpit of his Reaver Titan, Face Puncher, deep in thought. When the time came, he would stride out at the head of this battlegroup of Legio Plasticard, and lay waste to those filthy heretics...
"Princeps! We have word coming in from the bridge, the guard have retreated and the fleet is preparing to fire on Hive OT!" exclaimed his Moderati.
"Then the situation must be dire indeed... But a lance strike won't be enough, surely they know that! Those trolls'll just keep coming back. We need to get in there and finish this personally. Signal the bridge, tell them to set us down outside the bombardment perimiter. We'll march past the regrouping Guard forces and bolster their morale. Then we'll advance up to the hive and eradicate any filth that remains."
"Aye princeps! Transmitting now."
Dreadnote smiled. Soon the battle would begin. He, and the four Warhounds making up the rest of his battlegroup, would soon turn the tide of this battle.
------
The massive loading ramp of the Robot Octopus ground slowly open, revealing storm-wracked skies ahead, pierced by the towering spire of Hive OT. The ground shook under the massive tread of the Legio's feet, as the war engines spread out in line abreast.
"Titans, advance! We shall crush these-"
"Princeps, the bombardment!"
Dreadnote's speech was cut short, as the sky was filled with a terrible ruby light. Lance beams slashed down from the orbiting fleet, blasting gaping wounds in the hive structure. Explosions blossomed across it's surface, and debris rained down on the retreating troops beneath. It was a mesmerising sight.
Eventually, the firestorm ceased. A deathly silence filled the air. Perhaps he was imagining it - surely he was, as no such sound could carry so far - but even as Princeps Dreadnote advanced his war engines, he thought he heard a faint, mocking laughter drift out from the ruined hive.
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Post by: Cheese Elemental
I want to hear more about the mighty Titan Face Puncher.
I'll post something later... I'm busy trying to play Halo on my desktop computer and browse forums on my netbook at the same time.
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
Deff regained consciousness in what appeared to be a room of endless shadows, laying in a strangely warm liquid. He sat up but immediately regretted it as he shrieked in the agony his wounds gave him, and in the realisation that he was sitting in a pool of his own blood, yet while he roared in pain another voice could be heard, a faint but grating maniacal laughter that sent a chill through Deff's pain-wracked body.
The arch lich-lord Corpsesarefun strode out of the darkness, tendrils of fog and shadow still clinging to his unnatural form, and knelt down by Deff, thin lips parting, the necromancer spoke. "you intrigue me mortal; your planet has been wiped by my minions twice now, your family and friends have been slaughtered and used as components for my constructions, your puny body has been sundered beyond repair and your life is but a blade away from ending" the necromancer paused to indicate the blackened power sword at his hip "yet you continue to defy me... Why?", Deffs response however was merely a gurgle due his blood filled lungs inability to produce any other sound, "you a boring when you cannot speak mortal..." hissed Corpsesarefun before grabbing a whisper of shadow and blowing it onto what remained of Deff, chanting dark rituals as he blew, in a twisted act of kindness. Deff twisted and wretched as the shadows poured into every orifice, burning away his wounds, corrupting his body with dark energies and giving the sensation of spiders under his skin - he screamed as every cell in his body was destroyed and rebuilt by the necromancers perverse spells but suddenly it stopped. The guardsman felt rejuvenated, reborn even, and proceeded to stand with ease as Corspesarefun also stood up, the lich towered over Deff yet the stalwart commander looked him in the eye and said but four words "this is for Sophia". Deff grabbed the sword at the hip of Corpsesarefun and plunged it through the necromancers right eye, corpses let out an inhuman howl as the darkness surrounding them faded away leaving Deff alone in a storage compartment of the cargo bay of "the spirit of damnation".
Thinking quickly Deff took the arcane sword still in his hands and carved through the door, sprinting through the halls of the cargo bay and towards a the escape pods at the rear of the ship. Corpsesarefun remained in the bridge of the ship howling in pain as he pulled out what remained of his eye, then tore out the eye of the closest minion and put that in its place before violently instructing the remaining minions to find and destroy the guardsmen. Little did the lich know that Deff had already launched the pod and was approaching the nearest planet at great speed.
His destination?
The OT hive.
10890
Post by: Deff Dread red Edition
Meanwhile,as the pod crashing towards the OT hive....
For a slim moment he had seen there,running in verdant fields.The sun in his face.Then that Lichlord had brought him back,brought him back to a world of pain and hatred.He had been with them,his family.Running and playing as he always had,chasing after his sons in the long fields of wheat.The sky had quickly become black,dark storm clouds growing over head as some evil encroached upon his dream of peace.He had then been brought back to this nightmare of a world,this place of anguish and it filled him with rage.He dwelt on this thoughts no longer as he broke through the upper atmosphere.Upon drawning closer to the growned the craft had begun to shake violently,flame around it.From the grown it must have looked like a large falling meteor.Deff himself had not stayed conscious for long after entering the upper layers of the atmosphere.The violent shaking causing him to hit his head as the craft fell,he had woken catching glimpses of the incoming ground as he fell towards it.But these were fleeting and all was black once more.
Upon the command deck of the Spirit of Damnation....
The Lichlord scratched at his new eye,it seemed that his body was rejecting it.It felt mildly unpleasant as it itched and watered.Suddenly with no warning the comm screen flickered to life.A larged robed figure sat upon a throne,his red eyes giving off a harsh glow which contrasted with the dark viel that hung over him.The figure started to speak."you have failed he has escaped!"Yelled the man.
"It was an error in timing,I let my guard down for a moment..."
"I do not want yo hear your excuses,you have new orders!"Interupted the man.
"My lord I can catch him,I just need...need time."
"Which we have none of,rejoin the main battle fleet.We are having difficulties in capturing this hive!"
"But sir...."
"No buts,follow my orders or you shall find yourself replaced!"Yelled the voice and with that the comm screens went dead.
The crew looked slack jawed at their master,no one had ever adressed him this way before.
"What are you staring at you no brains,you heard what he said break pursuit.We rejoin the main fleet!"Yelled the lichlord.
The crew hurried into life as they begun to person buttons and rush about attending to the needs of the ship.
The Spam badlands south east of the OT hive.....
Deff once again awoke,he was feeling numb.The jarring landing he had,had made his legs feel uneasy as he stepped foward to open the pods door.What greeted him, was an unwelcome sight to behold.The land before him was barren and dead.No other signs of intelligent life could be seen.Those that could be were a few gibbering idiots worried with their own matters of conquest as they wondered round this forsaken land.
A loud shriek pierced the air,although what was said was nothing useful.
"My socks the kitten stole them,beware the kitten of the end times,BEWARE!!!"
The mad hermits stumbled about eyeing him strangely as he passed there encampments.Strange noises could be heard as another shout rung about the badlands.
"No John you are the daemons!"
At this the incampment nearest to Deff became excited shouting,"William is a rubber duck!"
"Forsaken filth."Spat Deff under his breath.
His march trundled on,his legs had by this time become some what better and even though now feeling stiff Deff did not feel like staying here and so pushed onwards.
After many a mile he had attracted a large crowd of the gibbering idiots as his walk seemed to interest them some how.Suddenly a mad old man,his eyes open wide while messy long hair covered his brow.
"Sir,take pity on old Jack let hims go with you.He doesn't wants to stay here,he doesn't!"Screamed the mad Jack.
"Leave me allow you filth!"Cursed Deff with a scowl.Back handing the hermit as he did so,he would not have such a madman accompany him on his journey.He walked for many an hour pressing on,yet the land seem endless and the small hermit settlements became few and far between.Yet old Jack still followed him,it seemed the old man was now stuck with him wether he liked it or not.As the hours drew on shell fire grew louder,starting at a small thudding sound hours ago it had now transformed into a loud bang.He was walking right into the mouth of hell,he knew it.He hoped though that he was not coming up behined troll lines.Yet he needed not worry about that,he still had a long ways to go.Him and his unwanted servant Jack.
The dreaded troll fleet,some hours earlier....
"Hail friend,you have strange hair!"Yelled the large trollish general on the other end.
"Hail you filthy bugger,now please let us get down to business!"Hissed Lichlord Corpses.
"Touche"Anwsered the troll,"Your orders have been re directed.Instead of coming with the fleet you shall be sent to the planet bellow."
"What am I to do here?"Questioned the LichLord.
"We need you to commit the ultimate act of madness,we need you to commit threadomancy!These open portal will create massive spawning pits for more trolls who will want to get in before the locking of the thread."Said the troll,and with that the comms screen went dead once more and he was left to play errand boy.Him joining forces with the trolls was begining to seem less and less like a good move on his part.Yet not wanting to bring the wrath of there forces upon him Corpses ordered his ship to disembark,they were head to the OT hive.
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Post by: Deff Dread red Edition
Please forgive any major spelling errors made it was fairly late when I typed this out.
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
Legendary story chris
corpsesarefun uses threadomancy!
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
Good job both of you.
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Post by: orkylooter
so awesome its like Chuck Norris and Mr.T walking into a building
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
Cheesepie wrote:
and omg emperors faithful 2500 posts in a few months you really dont
have anything better to do eh? Same goes for the rest of you
I've been sick for the past week or two. REAL sick. So yeah, I've not had much else to do.
*whisper* pweez don't jugde me...  
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Post by: Orkeosaurus
`Twas brillig, and the slimey trolles
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the dakkagoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabbergwar, my son!
The words that bite, the posts that catch!
Beware the Stelek bird, and shun
The greenish Blowflysnatch!"
He took his vorpal comp in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Y M D C,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabbergwar, with eyes of flame,
Came trolling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal keys went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And, has thou slain the Jabbergwar?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slimey trolles
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the dakkagoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
I didn't understand a single word, but I loved it orkeosuarus! (I did get though, just kidding wiv ya)
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Post by: person person
Random, yet AWESOME!!!
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
Nice poem Orky, whats it a cover of?
For now the following is all the rest you get;
The creature's jaws oozed with saliva as it impatiently raked a clawed hand across the ruins of the corridor. Even through all the ruble it could smell blood, super human blood, the beast whimpered and whined as it gazed around at the cultists that were busy excavating until a rough jerk of the bronze chain around its neck silenced it. Scorned the creature flopped to the floor at the foot of it's master, the mighty and terrible Gwar!.
Gwar! was becoming impatient, the incompetent fools that were digging had barely managed to scratch the surface of what had to be dug out and there was no way he would waste his Troll Marines on such a menial task, no they had been tasked with finding an alternate route in through the remains of the Hive. His armoured fist grasped the hilt of his daemon blade, the Bane of RAI a blade of such evil that it was created from the souls of men who played with 'rules as intended' in life and after their death had become daemons. Near by a worker fell, exhausted, Gwar! shot a vile look his way. In response one of the Marines grabbed the little man by the scruff of his neck and brought him forth throwing him before his lord and the troll-hound.
Gwar gripped the hilt of Bane tighter as he drew the foul weapon and held it before him, a twisted smile on his face. In a flash he brought Bane down, a small scratch appearing on the workers face. The man looked up with hope in his eyes, hoping the scratch would be all he would have to suffer, then his eyes bulged the scratch had indeed been enough. Screams echoed through the tightly packed corridor as the man's eye bulged from their sockets and his body contorted, breaking his back in several place, Bane shook with ecstasy in Gwar's hand and Gwar smiled with childish glee.
"He practiced RAI." was all he could manage before bursting into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.
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Post by: Gwar!
BrotherStynier wrote:Nice poem Orky, whats it a cover of?
Omg Srsly? Read "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll.
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
Perhaps I will Gwar, oh and I apologize for not reading it before hand.
My childhood was full of war history books, and guns. With some models, movies, and video games on the side.
EDIT: Never seen any of the movies either and won't see the new one, I loath Tim Burton.
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Post by: Paul Atreides
That was even longer then I had expected it to be. Wonder if anyone bothers with reading it?
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Post by: Paul Atreides
Sorry if any spelling mistakes sneaked through. On another note, I did write some of it in cursive in word, but it didn't translate well to dakka.
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
I'll leave the body finding to Deff, I'm busy with Frazz, Gwar and Killteam One.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
He thought he was dead. He MUST be dead. But no, if this WAS death, then why did he feel pain? How long had it been since he had fallen before the Troll Lord? Emperors Faithful could not remember, it could have days...or years. Why had the most foul Gwar! wanted him alive? EF shuddered at his guess. In the time before the Troll Lord's banning, he had been famed for 'toying' with those who meddled in the art of RAI. EF was one such man. RAI was the sacred order of his guild, he saw what Gwar did not, beyond the words written on paper, he read between the lines. But Gwar was blinded by his rage, and EF was truly fearful as to what would befall him if he stayed a moment longer.
A voice drifted from the other side of the room "Are you all right, stranger?"
EF almost jumped in surprise, he had thought himself alone in this dank cell, "Yes, just a little cut up, that's all...What's your name, stanger?"
"Paul" the figure replied with a grin. "Yourself?"
"Emperors Faithful, but most just call me EF. Sorry to meet you in such an...enviroment." EF said, looking around the cell. "I was captured by Gwar while buying time for Frazzled's escape. What's your story Paul?"
"Well, my ship was shot down over OT, never knew what hit me. I had been hoping for a rescue, but the enemy found me first."
"Looks like we're in this together friend." EF stated, shaking his newfound companions hand.
"Yes, it appears we are.Now listen, you've been unconcious since they first threw me in here, but now that you're awake, I think I've found myself a cunning plan..." The grin of Paul practically shone in the dark.
EF's interest perked up, "I'm listening."
Pauls grin grew wider still "Well you see, all we have to do is..."
Now it is widely known that Troll Marines despite thier cunning, are often selfish and self-centred. When the Troll Marine on guard heard Paul coughing horridly, weeping and moaning as if in his death throes, the Troll knew full well that Gwar! would be most displeased if he were to let one of the prisoners die before the information could be gleaned out of them. He burst through the door, intent on dragging Paul to the torturer as quickly as possible, so that he at least could not be blamed for the prisoners death. He barely gave a second glance to the curled up bundle which was the second prisoner. As he grabbed Paul shoulder, pulling him to his feet, he never even saw the chain that found itself wrapped around his throat...
Having armed themselves with the Troll Marines weapons, they set about overwhelming the other prison guards and freeing all inside. The broke into the armoury, where many of thier weapons had been kept. EF caressed his favored sword...In Yor FACE! which within held all the witty remarks and comebacks known to mankind. Paul snapped him out of his reverie though.
"EF! We can't afford to wait! Reinforcements will be here any moment!" He shouted.
"You're right. We can't wait here." EF thought for a few moments "The Valleys! If we make it to the valleys of Articles they'll never find us!"
They led thier newfound army to the gates and with a mighty shove, hope of freedom giving strength to all, they burst out of that forsaken prison and made thier way across the plains. EF and Paul both knew, without saying a word, that they would not be content to sit idle while the Troll Army rampaged across their homelands. But it was too far away. There was nothing they could do to get back to thier loved ones. But they could still help. Little did Gwar! or Cheese know, but the Resistance had just begun...
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
There we go! No sign of your spaceship though, Paul. lol
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Post by: jamunition
sorry i failed Oh by the way it was heading for something not just random talk
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
lol, but really mate, you should have made it somehow link in with the rest of this thread. Following a clear plot was the point of this thread (kind of) so to anyone thinking of more posts, just look at the other stories, m'kay?
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
There isn't much of a clear plot EF it kinda bounces around alot.
Deff, Gwar, corpses, shadow and I came up with a rough outline, a very rough outline.
By what you are saying Paul should have payed more attention as well, because Cheese can't be in Space if he's fighting Alpharius (who isn't dead hint hint) and Gwar can't be in space if he's trackin' Malf and the boys.
Plus yours would be wrong as well, because Troll Marines are seemingly intelligent, yet also belligerent douche bags.
So lay off and have fun, that's what the Saga is about. Besides, so far we've had a better flowing story than some BL books.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
I wasn't trying to tell anyone off, It's just that It's better that this thing flows together. Like how Paul asked for someone to save him, and I include him in the prison breakout?
It's okay, I'll back off now.
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
I know you included him, but you both ignored something which is fine, different authors different things. Including people is no flow, keeping things similar is.
But what ever this is for fun, enjoy yourself and get a new story out.
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Post by: orchewer
Four years ago, he was a raw recruit. On transfer to garrison a communications station his space craft was forced to make an abortive landing onto DakkaDakka. Since then, he has learned the ways of the forum to survive on this world.
He once skirmished with the fabled Stelek on the plains of Army List, a short, brutal encounter where he had learned the importance of not mixing mech and foot sloggers, as well as how to be a complete dick should the occasion arise.
On whims, he has raided Dakka Fiction, leaving posts in the middle of the night. These are but glimpses into his mind, completely alien to anything DakkaDakka has seen, which bring wonder, but mostly confusion, into those who stumble upon them.
Stalking in the shadows, he has seen and been everywhere on DakkaDakka, studied its inhabitants, memorized its customs, learned its ways, and relayed information to his comrades off-planet.
But that was before the Troll Wars.
Now he has been hired to emerge from the shadows and to defend the home he has known for the last four years.
Armed with firepower both Dakka and Troll marines dream of possessing, pun not intended, he is a Firewarrior.
Called by a name strangely at odds with his WS, he is Orchewer.
Deployed no closer than 30" away, he is coming for you.
Enemies of the Dakka Mercenaries, beware.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
@Stynier: Pweez! Stop, you're hurting me! *whimper* No, seriosly, I've learnt my lesson.
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Post by: VictorVonTzeentch
If you say so EF 
Perhaps I'll get something up tonight.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
meh, I recovered enough to go to school tomorrow, so I'm off.
Beating logged into vengance memory core. Beware Stynier...
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Post by: Black Blow Fly
A lone figure surrounded by two cyber hounds enters the room. All eyes fall upon him. Attached to his utility belt is a big red button labelled EZ. He slowly reaches down and presses the big red button. A vast horde of zombies mumbling 'hatez 'hatez hatez' shuffle forward carrying pieces of broken furniture. Suddenly the two robot hounds attack shredding the zombies apart quickly. There is nothing left but twitching body parts of the rended zombies. The cyber hounds return to the side of their silent master sitting at his heels. The lone figure produces a bag of cheeto puffs from his gaming bag and munched a few then washes them down with an ice cold diet Mountain Dew. The clock on the wall reads 5 til midnight. The lone figure walks over pushes the minute hand so that it is one minute until midnight. Faces stare into the windows watching intently. The lone figure removes his black leather jacket and pulls out a cube of golden dice with straight edges. He rolls them on top of a zombie skull and up pops a pair of snake eyes. He grins and puts the dice away. The lights begin to dim. The faces in the window continue to watch gnashing their teeth and running their long fingernails through their neckbeards. The lone figure belches then leaves.
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
Interesting while quite detatched additions GBF and orchewer
keep it coming guys
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Post by: shadowice558
ok, as one of the originals, can we please keep it to just us, so we dont have heaps of people posting a paragraph each thats completly and utterly as random as Gwar's army?
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Post by: Gwar!
shadowice558 wrote:ok, as one of the originals, can we please keep it to just us, so we dont have heaps of people posting a paragraph each thats completly and utterly as random as Gwar's army?
D: Hey! My army has been Space Wolves for 10 years now! Nothing Random about it! 
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Post by: Black Blow Fly
The lone figure sat at his keyboard looking at the Dakka thread and smirked then threw some organic string beans to the metallic mutts at his feet. The bionic hounds wolfed down the beans then began to howl. The lone figure pulled out a pair of polished dinosaur bones and flicked them through the air. The cyber hounds immediately set off running after their favorite treats.
Meanwhile back at the ranch Mr. Studly was playing his guitar most gently to a young crowd of caterized males with braided dyed long neckbeards.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
Hey, I've noticed a bit of angst here, and I'm just saying...let the story goooooo. As long as no one posts anything that is just downright WTF, it's all kewl. Keep it up guys!
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
shadowice558 wrote:ok, as one of the originals, can we please keep it to just us, so we dont have heaps of people posting a paragraph each thats completly and utterly as random as Gwar's army?
Don't be hatin' Shadowice. 
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Post by: Paul Atreides
To be frank, I intended my story to play out a few days after the first three, before OT was even assaulted, that is why cheese and Gwar! are in space. In that way, it does fit into the story line better. Wait, you deleted my story? Why?
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
Who deleted your story?
(They can do that?!?)
Anyway, it was kewl story. Who's messing with this thread?
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Post by: person person
I DIDN'T DO IT!!!
i thought it was an awesome story..
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Post by: Paul Atreides
I don't know, but it is gone now, the entire post, anyone know why?
And thanks for the help EF.
Don't worry about the spaceship. I'll get a new one. A better one. Bigger. Faster. More Firepower. Someone elses'.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
lol, always a good response.
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Post by: Waaagh_Gonads
Sorry guys, deleted it whilst cleaning up.
Here is Paul's post in its entirity.
Paul Atreides, low-standing dakkaite swooped over the rings of small ice particles and gravel.
How he loved deep space. Yet, it made him feel empty. Having just returned from a few weeks vacation without internet access, he had roamed the web in his light ‘Lurker’ class scout ship, unseen swiftness. Of all he the things he saw, none matched dakka. No place like home, he guessed. Why he had gradually lost touch with it was no secret. He felt irrelevant not contributing anything, insignificant. He didn’t really have anything to add. He let out a sigh. Maybe he could return, start anew, show his work, contribute. Maybe. He would be a fool not to try, after all. Ordering the one-man craft’s autopilot to engage webdrives, he sat back and let his thought’s wander.
Destination: Dakkadakka log-in space station, the artificial web-way portal that formed the only way in and out of the dakka sector.
Paul understood that what he hated most of all with the constant sailing of the ‘lurker’ scout ship, was not talking to people. With fantastic spy-equipment, the ability to scan anything, and a high number off cloaking devices and shroud-shields, a lurker could monitor any event or discussion without even revealing it was ever there. There was no need to talk. He shifted in the uncomfortable command chair, realizing he had finally gotten bored of it. The Swiftness dropped out of weberspace 3 au from the Dakkadakka log-in gates. The small craft emerged more or less in the middle of a vast asteroid-field of internet detritus, the byproduct of the creation of accounts for online-games long forgotten. The little dakkaite was overjoyed. He liked maneuvering thru these. Just two au from the log-in gates, Paul saw a sight that filled him with awe. It was a massive fleet engagement. On one side was a badly outnumbered dakkaite fleet, accompanied by two massive black mod-cruisers. On the other hand were great squadrons of crude troll ships, and a grand cruiser of the same despicable kind. Paul urgently ordered his ship raise all shrouds and drift in the nearest asteroid cluster.
He saw the troll-ships make wave attacks against the guns of dakka, losing double the numbers of casualties inflicted. The massed torpedo salvos of the grand-cruiser and it’s escorts crippled one of the black mod-ships instantly. The stricken ships twin built up energy to return fire with it’s great Ban-Cannon. Paul had only seen the Ban-Cannon in action one time before.
Four months earlier
Paul Atreides gunned the engines even harder. “Where in blue feth was Gorgabonk” the young dakkaite wondered. He probably shouldn’t worry, his brother had promised to behave after all. Reluctantly he turned the ship around and headed back to off-topic planet. There he saw a sight that froze the blood in his veins.
“Gorgabonk, for crying out loud!” He shouted so loudly he was almost surprised the small troll craft, dwarfed by the massive mod-cruiser in front of it did not turn to face him. He recognized Gorgabonk’s ship in the striking paintwork around the canopy. The Ban-Cannon fired.
Paul Atreides knew full well how a Ban-Cannon worked. It rent a hole in the barrier between weberspace and realspace, instantly tearing apart anything in its path and scattering the pieces all over the internet.
15 fething minutes. He had left him unsupervised for 15 fething minutes and Gorgabonk start getting into fight’s with everyone in OT. Unbelievable. The little Troll-ship was instantly destroyed. Not so much as debris was left. The Mod-ship opened a link to contact him.
“I can hear you, mod” the youngling answered, still in shock.
“He was a troll. He had this coming”
“I understand”
“Perhaps one day that will be truth, but at this moment, it is not”
The Mod-cruiser’s main weapon burned a path through half a dozen troll escorts and badly damaged the grand cruiser.
The Present.
Aboard the grand cruisers bridge, crimson in the light of blaring klaxons Gwar! smashed together the heads of two troll navigators to get the attention of the crew.
“Cheese will arrive soon enough! Divert all available power to the shields and organize fire control. We will carry the day still!” he snarled, his face a mask of fury, terrifying in the scarlet light.
All the remaining functional troll vessels surged forward, surrounding the already weakened fleet of Dakka. Then, the void behind the Forum fleet split open as a massive spacecraft pulled itself through the weberspace/realspace hole. It was a mod battle cruiser, one of the greatest ships available to all of Dakka. Paul new who commanded it. High Mod Manfred, Vice Administrator of Dakka, commanding the ‘Adepticon’ class battle cruiser, The Manpurse. It’s hull was covered in murals depicting dakkaite warriors destroying the horde of Waaagh! Warseer, many year’s past. The trolls were in for some hot stuff indeed. Opening up with Lock Batteries and a Ban Pulse Generator, the mighty vessels let rip into the enemy fleet. It looked as if Dakka would still carry the day, but it was not to be. The troll reinforcements soon arrived. A second troll fleet, twice the size of the one already in combat, webbed in, led by a truly vast vessel of alien origin. The nature of the troll battleship soon dawned upon Paul. It was a Chanian vessel, every inch of it’s armor covered in twisted imagery of deamon’s and other insanity, the foulness that delved in weberspace, the stuff of which Chania was made.
Cheese Elemental had returned. The dakka fleet made a hasty tactical withdrawal, but where harassed by the Spirit of Damnation, picking out the stragglers and damaged escorts. The rest of the troll fleet stopped to loot and reuse any still valuable pieces of the drifting hulks and the wreckage.
“Take us to painting and modeling forum, the war has probably not touched it yet”
Paul managed, between sobs of sadness and shock.
“Excellent killing, lord Gwar!” cheese said softly over the inter comm.
“We thank for your timely intervention, master” the Troll king answered.
“You must never force me to save you again in this manner, you hear me?”
“No, master never again.” Gwar! bowed, and the connection was ended.
Cheese sat back and closed his eyes and sat back.
“I sense something” He said, so quietly that only Green Blow Fly, standing directly next to him could hear.
“What would that be?”
“A dakkaite. Living.”
Green Blow Fly frowned. “In one of the hulks, sir?”
“No. Around… Here.” He pointed to the image of a holoscreen in front of the command chair, In a empty are of space.
“There is nothing there. I cannot sense it, and the scanner says it does not exist. It cannot exist therefore.”
“It must be a cloaked scout ship”
“Even if that were true, how would you target a moving object at this distance, that you cannot see?”
“ I know what to do. Just get me closer.”
Green Blow Fly began issuing orders.
Paul detected the approaching battleship very quickly. He resisted an urge to drop all shields and divert all power to engines. He would be a sitting duck. They could not see him, so he must be the one revealing himself. But even if they had a psyker with the ability to detect his mind’s presence, that was not enough to target him. Calm down, there is no danger whatsoever, he told himself. It somehow sounded hollow. Soon the great ship loomed just above him, menacing searching, but blind.
“I can sense him”
“I don’t feel him. If you feel some link dakkaites in between that reveals him to you, I should see him too.”
“Then I must have something more in common with this guy”
“You think he is a potential ally?”
“No”
“But sir, he is but one dakkaite, what could he possibly do?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why bother?”
“To make an example of him. To show them we spare absolutely no one.”
“And how will you destroy him then?”
“Get everyone out of here, I need to focus.”
“So then you… wait, what?!”
“Get Out! All Of You! Everyone! Now!”
Everyone obeyed, and the great bridge was emptied.
Paul was feeling small and insignificant, many times more so then usual.
He briefly wondered if the ship would not be able to track him if he knocked himself unconscious. Then, suddenly, a great pressure closed on his mind, like a giant hand threatening to crush his head. He screamed and put his hands on his hands to block it out.
On the bridge, Cheese’s sword of flame shacked in its scabbard, feeling the deep concentration of its master. Cheese ignored it, applying more pressure. Paul screamed with the burning pain, seeing through a fog clouding his eyes blood dripping from his nose, forming a pool on the floor. The pain was beyond screaming now, and the red stains on the floor swirled, mixing with black, forming a flowing whirlpool of pain. He dimly realized he was blacking out. The Dakkaite slumped to the floor, his body limp. Aboard the battleship, Cheese let out a breath he had not been aware he had been holding. This one had been slightly stronger than most of them.
The ‘Lurker’ drifted through the Log-in gates some time later, and crash landed on the ravaged planet of OT soon after, its owner in a deep and dreamless coma.
Would someone please chance upon my crashed spaceship and discover my unconscious body now?
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
As the pm i sent you stated paul, unless your story was editted to fit in with the current story it would be deleted. Gonads was following my request and indeed the will of deff, gwar, shadowice and stynier.
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Post by: Gwar!
As much as I like how the story is going so far, with C.S.Goto confirmed to write the new Necron Codex, I demand we have Necrons with Multilazors
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Post by: Waaagh_Gonads
Is the post wanted or not?
Also do you guys want me to delete the 'chatter' amongst yourselves? I had started but got called away at work, which is when I pressed the wrong delete button (I still had to PM Paul about it)
Honestly back in the day of the 'Divine Light' series here on dakka we would just follow on from the last post. And would keep sets of characters to 3 locations for sanities sake but new characters could always just cycle in within their first post....
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Post by: Corpsesarefun
Waaagh_Gonads wrote:Is the post wanted or not?
Also do you guys want me to delete the 'chatter' amongst yourselves? I had started but got called away at work, which is when I pressed the wrong delete button (I still had to PM Paul about it)
Honestly back in the day of the 'Divine Light' series here on dakka we would just follow on from the last post. And would keep sets of characters to 3 locations for sanities sake but new characters could always just cycle in within their first post....
Yes delete pauls post, yes please delete the chatter and im going to put the last bit in the rules at the start of the thread for everyone to read
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Post by: Paul Atreides
corpsesarefun wrote:
Yes delete pauls post
If I had a good vader NOOOOOOOOO picture I would have a use for it now.
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Post by: Paul Atreides
Indeed.
I am sorry I didn't edit the story in time, I wasn't on the forum for a day, but I do got it saved on word on the computer. Tell me what points to change, and I'll do it.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
No, don't delete Pauls post!
It's a good story and (in conjunction with mine) it flows in with the storyline, just ask Paul to edit it (a wittle bit). So that it is clear that this happened in the past.
(Pssst, Paul, or do you want me to edit you out of the prison break?)
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Post by: sugna the repairible
shadowice558 wrote:
but... I'M the orcs... not cheese. he's the trolls.
later tonight (read: in about 10 hours when i cant sleep again) i'll write more.
any brave men willing to enlist themselves to my cause speak now or be left out of the epicness.
quote ends
I my efforts to upset, and prove that Gwar (curse him) can and is wrong I pleg the 25th Iron warriors grand company to your cause.
In addition, with the church of the turtle pie having allied with the cheese, I have all the more reason to oppose and deistroy.
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Post by: sugna the repairible
sorry had to re[ost it here to make sene hope I am no to late for the party.?
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Post by: sugna the repairible
"Deploy the guns" Roared Sugna the repariable, Comander of the Iron Warrior's 25th grand company.
I want them firing on those troll freaks by high noon. also ready the anihation force. Also make sure that the Lord's Holy Might is sent to relive the dakka fleet (the Doomsday class barge is as long as three jupiters longe and one and one jupiters tall. and has a gun that cand destrioy solor systeme with a single power gigadraing shot) and disroy the troll fleet that hunts them. Trooper make sure those trenches are stable and pernimante. we aren't going anywhere only the trolls and the turtle pie fanaticare going..., STRAIGHT TO HELL!
25000men strong
10000 guns strong
1 big ship to protect the planet and Hive OT
P.s. I am sure the enemy will find a was to sink my Bismark. 
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Post by: chaplaingrabthar
This might just be the most terrifying thread I have ever seen.
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Post by: sugna the repairible
Sorry, my voice box hasn't been proply repaired.
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Post by: Paul Atreides
Is all I have to do to remove Cheese and Gwar! and replace them with some lieutenant of theirs'?
If so I'll do it, but is it still too late?
(EF, don't scratch me out just yet)
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
Okey-doeky, not a bad idea, make it a troll marine, not the Troll Lord himself. (Not too late)
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Post by: Paul Atreides
Yes, and I'll let the Manpurse be commanded by a lower standing officer, and Cheese will be replaced with Creeeeed (I reckon him and sly would both be on the cheeses' side) and a terror aura of the Chanian battleship, not Cheese, will attempt to crush my mind.
Okey that works. You'll be getting it later today, have to turn over the computer to my brother now.
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Post by: Emperors Faithful
No! Not Creeeed! (Or Sly Marbo for that matter)
But still, good idea!
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Post by: shadowice558
Paul Atreides wrote:Yes, and I'll let the Manpurse be commanded by a lower standing officer, and Cheese will be replaced with Creeeeed (I reckon him and sly would both be on the cheeses' side) and a terror aura of the Chanian battleship, not Cheese, will attempt to crush my mind.
Okey that works. You'll be getting it later today, have to turn over the computer to my brother now.
you have no idea what your doing.
1
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Post by: The Dreadnote
This is why we can't have nice things.
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Post by: Paul Atreides
I'll leave then, sorry to have wasted your time.
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Post by: shadowice558
maybe i was abit too mean to soft on him :S
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Post by: MeanGreenStompa
This thread is without fail the most useless and rapidly degenerating nonsense I've ever seen on this site, the fact people are actually getting fething l33t at each other and making people upset with personal attacks proves even further how deep into the FAILZONE this thing has gone. How can you be attacking someone on their post in a thread of nonsense fiction.
Get a fething grip. Don't get butthurt cos someone didn't get the rules of your posting game.
Oh yeah, AND WRITE IN FETHING ENGLISH!!!11!!1
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Post by: Gwar!
This thread needs moar Multilazors and Cowbell
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Post by: shadowice558
MeanGreenStompa wrote:This thread is without fail the most useless and rapidly degenerating nonsense I've ever seen on this site, the fact people are actually getting fething l33t at each other and making people upset with personal attacks proves even further how deep into the FAILZONE this thing has gone. How can you be attacking someone on their post in a thread of nonsense fiction.
Get a fething grip. Don't get butthurt cos someone didn't get the rules of your posting game.
Oh yeah, AND WRITE IN FETHING ENGLISH!!!11!!1
今地獄で英語ある従って日本語のそれをする楽しみにとき書く私はなぜか。
また、私は検閲官なしであなたのろばの上のそれをここに付けるように言ってもいい。
そうええ… 私を食べなさい!
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Post by: MeanGreenStompa
shadowice558 wrote:
今地獄で英語ある従って日本語のそれをする楽しみにとき書く私はなぜか。
また、私は検閲官なしであなたのろばの上のそれをここに付けるように言ってもいい。
そうええ… 私を食べなさい!
Google reads that for me as:
I look forward to when you write it in English in Japanese so why the hell now.
Also, I can say it to put it here on your ass without censors.
Yeah right ... eat me!
Not overly polite son, following on so soon after your 'amusing' post aimed at user Paul Atriedes. You need to take a rain check.
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Post by: Frazzled
This thread is closed. It indeed needed more Cowbell.
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