*Marine one is searching frantically over his armour, as if searching*
Brother-Sergeant: What is wrong brother, has your power armour malfunctioned?
Marine one: No sergeant, why wondering where the HELL my supposed 'spare' bolter magizines are kept? I mean what kind of army only sends their soldiers in with only one clip?
Chaos Lord Gir wrote:*Marine one is searching frantically over his armour, as if searching*
Brother-Sergeant: What is wrong brother, has your power armour malfunctioned?
Marine one: No sergeant, why wondering where the HELL my supposed 'spare' bolter magizines are kept? I mean what kind of army only sends their soldiers in with only one clip?
Brother-Sergeant: HA! You'll be lucky if you finish that one, plus if you do you can just pick up the gun of the disemboweled marine beside you, reloads are much faster that way!
his thread was made way before mine, so he should sue me.
but then I had no knowledge of a similar thread when I made it...
and when I posted all the replies in it, it turns out it was dead, so it had to be deleteded.
Same tournament, but I don't want to spam the quotepyramid:
The Imperial King just sits in one spot the entire game until he's the only piece left standing and then proceeds to wipe out every single enemy piece on the board with an awesome display of psychic powers.
Saintspirit wrote:Slaanesh: Hi there, beutiful... Don't you think you've been trapped here too long?
Isha: EEEE!
Nurgle: Oy! Whatcha doing in my garden, pervert? And get away from my cute companion!
Slaanesh: Hah! Don't you know she's been cheating on you for years? She's been telling the eldar about your diseases all the time! Not that I care, of course... Eldar taste much better when fresh!
Isha: Oh sh*t....
Nurgle: What, how could you? I slave over this stove all day, and this is how you treat me!
Isha: I'm - I'm sorry, dear ugly blob, but... I... Bouhohouu! I just cannot take the sight of my children dying! Please, couldn't we just... Try a second time? Just don't... Give my babies your diseases... Give them to the mon'keigh instead"
And another one:
Catachan Missile Team:
"Hah! I eat missiles for lunch! Get it? Launch?
Abaddon The Despoiler, before the second Black Crusade: "K, I got everyone here ready, have enough weapons to sink a space ship and all the gods backing me up. I just got to pick someplace to attack first" *Throws a dart at a map* "hmm...Cadia, huh? Can't be too hard"
"Those tomb spiders will NEVER find the line with the missing semi-colon. That's what you get for using a poor IDE!"
~Imperial hacker messing with Necron source code.
"Good afternoon Hive Fleet, welcome to McImperium; may I take your order?"
Necron Warrior - So why'd we destroy those blue mecha aliens again? They brought us cake!
Necron Lord - That was no cake.
Necron Warrior - You mean?
Necron Lord - Yes. The cake was a lie.
Necron Warrior - Run: Sadface.exe
Marine - Sir! We've discovered another STC!
Captain - Excellent! What is it for?
Marine - I'm not sure sir, but this bit here says 'IKEA'
Captain - And the pieces?
Marine - All here... No, wait, we're missing screw B2 that holds it all together!
Captain - Then why does it stand completed before our eyes?
Guardsman - Um, sir? Is that bush supposed to have eyes?
"Are you sure this is what you saw, Magnus?"
"Definately, I saw it with my own eyes... eye..."
"What is Fulgrim doing?"
"I believe it was an old Terran ritual known as the 'YMCA'."
World Eaters Marine 1 - "Do you think maybe Angron was dropped as a child? Or maybe repeatedly smashed headfirst into a mountain?"
World Eaters Marine 2 - "What makes you say that?"
Angron - "I ordered a DIET coke! DIET!!!"
World Eaters Marine 1 - "No reason."
Ok. So I was inspired by the great James Earl Jones earlier today.
I present a motivational speech by Lysander!
"The one constant through all the years has been the bolter. The Galaxy has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But the bolter has marked the time. This armor, this weapon, is part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again. Oh, heretics will die. Heretics will most definitely die."
"The Forgetful shall be forgotten!"-Sons of Remembrance warcry "Fear? You don't no true fear! True fear is being forgetten by the world around you; so much that you start to forget yourself!"-Random marine from the Sons of Remembrance "May the wrath of my god pulverise you into oblivion and make all your folowers forget you!"-Secret Bearer of the Sons of Remembrance
and, for all you who follow my chaos marine blog, a spoiler!
Spoiler:
Challenge me you say?! You sure you want to do that? Before you make up your mind, let me tell you something. You no nothing about me! You no not of the foul tricks I learnt from the Dark Elder on Commoragh! You no not of the legion of foul things that come to my beck and call! You no not what I can do to you! I can transform you into a beast so ugly your own troops will shoot you on the spot! To finish this all of, I can tear you limb-from-limb with my bear hands! Now tell me, do you still challenge me?"-The Fellmaster, crazed transmuter of the Sons of Remembrance.
"Look,now is not the best time dear..."
"I'm at work,okay...."
"Right...I'm not sure when I'll be back home"
"Listen the boss is coming over"
"I have to go...Oh come on dear I have to get back to the front line...Ok,ok...I love you too"
-Last recorded vox transmission before the fall of Outpost IIVX on Octum Prime-
Avatar 720 wrote:Marine - Sir! We've discovered another STC!
Captain - Excellent! What is it for?
Marine - I'm not sure sir, but this bit here says 'IKEA'
Captain - And the pieces?
Marine - All here... No, wait, we're missing screw B2 that holds it all together!
Captain - Then why does it stand completed before our eyes?
I've been gradually reading through this thread for a while, but that one in particular made me cackle.
SM sergeant: "Crazos?"
Crazos: "Yes sir?"
SM sergeant: "due to losses in our last mission, you will now be using the plasma rifle, careful, every 1 in 6 shots it explodes"
Crazos looks down at plasma rifle "...looks like this'll be my last mission"
A rhino takes a stray bolter round, stalling out. A full load of battle brothers is in the back, trying to get to the front.
Brother Sergeant: "Get us moving again!"
Battle Brother: "Is stuck, yes?
The brother sergeant shoves another battle brother out of the way as he tries to repair the vehicle. "Back off! You don't know the components!"
BB: "Componants." (begins hammering away at the engine casing in a rage) "Terran componants, Medusan componants... ALL MADE ON MARS!" (The rhino sputters to life) "There!" (hits the engine again) "We can go home!"
winnertakesall wrote:Emperor, look out!
What? (bullet just misses him)
Jesus Christ!
Adeptus Custodes: Who's that?
Adeptus Custodes 2: I dunno but he must be pretty beast if the big E took his name in vain.
-----
Commissar in mess hall: ALRIGHT, WHO TOOK THE LAST DONUT?! *cocks bolt pistol*
-----
*man hears a knock on his door and opens it*
Inquisitor: By the authority of the Emperor's Inquisition, I hereby sentence you and your--...................I'm sorry, you're not Mr. Heretic are you?
Man: Uhm, no, he lives across the street.
Inquisitor: My apologies, damn navy intel *turns and leaves, man shuts door, woman walks into room*
Woman: Who was that?
Man: Nothing, just another door to door inquisitor.
*A nob making fun of a grot in a trench*
N- "Yoo iz so fick! I betcha can't even frow a grenade!"
G- "Oh yeah?"
*matter-of-factly pulls pin out, throws pin.*
G- "See? I'm not that-"
N- "Oh, shi-"
*KABOOOM!!!*
Space marines sarcastically humming 'Iron Man' whenever a Dreadnought to around.
Two Dark Eldar guard a door:
DE 1 offers other Dark Eldar a stick of gum, DE 2 opens the wrapper. Imperator Titan steps out.
EoM: horus your grounded. and no going to nurgles house on the weekend ok?
Horus: But Dad!! me and and the guys have the whole heresy thing going on!
EoM:l Listen me Horus if you argue ill give you a spanked a**
xD
and that was the end of the HH
IG Trooper: "Now, you're sure this new armor is bulletproof Sir?"
IG Armorer: "Reasonably. Stand on the red 'X'."
*stands on the red 'X'*
IG Armorer, into vox-recorder: "Test subject forty-seven in place. Releasing safety mechanism on autoturret, commencing test of armour compound..." *checks notes* "..ZTL-33b. Fire."
*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT* *Thud*
IG Armorer, scribbling on clipboard: "Dang! Alright, send in the next one!"
....I've heard conversations like that in real life.
"These vests are bullet proof man, check it!"
"Sweet! ... How bullet proof?"
Subject A stands back and lets subject B shoot him to test said vest.
Luckily, it worked. We managed to stop them before they tested the helmet, which was only a sales model... i.e. made of plastic with lead weights and would have trouble stopping a mean-spirited fly, let alone a bullet.
Right, anyone have any ideas other than drowing the enemy in men?
**everyone lowers hand**
Ok then......we need to think here......
I think I have an idea, that just might work
What it is?
We drown it in tanks too?
I like that idea, begin the attack.
Mordoskul wrote:Space marines sarcastically humming 'Iron Man' whenever a Dreadnought to around.
Two Dark Eldar guard a door:
DE 1 offers other Dark Eldar a stick of gum, DE 2 opens the wrapper. Imperator Titan steps out.
CREEEEEDDDDD!!
those were good...
two races, both alike in dignity, in fair eastern fringe, where we lay our scene
where ancient grudge break to new mutiny.
where xenos blood make xenos hands unclean.
never before was there a tale of more woe, of poor squat, and his jokaero.
papathrax wrote:....I've heard conversations like that in real life.
"These vests are bullet proof man, check it!"
"Sweet! ... How bullet proof?"
Subject A stands back and lets subject B shoot him to test said vest.
Luckily, it worked. We managed to stop them before they tested the helmet, which was only a sales model... i.e. made of plastic with lead weights and would have trouble stopping a mean-spirited fly, let alone a bullet.
should've stood back and let it happen, then you could have the honour of saying that you witnessed a darwin award irl.
Mordoskul wrote:Space marines sarcastically humming 'Iron Man' whenever a Dreadnought to around.
Two Dark Eldar guard a door:
DE 1 offers other Dark Eldar a stick of gum, DE 2 opens the wrapper. Imperator Titan steps out.
CREEEEEDDDDD!!
those were good...
two races, both alike in dignity, in fair eastern fringe, where we lay our scene
where ancient grudge break to new mutiny.
where xenos blood make xenos hands unclean.
never before was there a tale of more woe, of poor squat, and his jokaero.
i see a corpse of one shake`s the beer rollin`in his cuffin...
"Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment."
"Pain is an illusion of the senses, despair is an illusion of the mind."
Battle brother Artemis of the Deathwatch:
"Do not ask, 'Why kill the alien?' rather, ask, 'Why not?'"
"After the orbital strikes, Thunderhawk bombardments, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, fusion and starfire and finally Battle Brothers with flamers had finished cleansing the world of all the enemies of Man, we built a monastery in the center of the largest, most radioactive impact crater. We named the planet 'Tranquility', for it was very quiet now." -Brother Vlad Carthas
Swiftblade wrote:Time to make fun of new GK Fluff...
inquisitor (I) and jokaero (J):
I- "Hey, d'you reckon you could fix this bolt pistol for me?"
J- "Sure!"
*tinkers with it, make one of the guns in fifth element*
I- "Wow! I could kiss you!"
J- "Alright, but you're so darn ugly."
shrike wrote:*A nob making fun of a grot in a trench*
N- "Yoo iz so fick! I betcha can't even frow a grenade!"
G- "Oh yeah?"
*matter-of-factly pulls pin out, throws pin.*
G- "See? I'm not that-"
N- "Oh, shi-"
*KABOOOM!!!*
You haven't, perchance, been watching "Unknown Moments", have you?
shrike wrote:*A nob making fun of a grot in a trench*
N- "Yoo iz so fick! I betcha can't even frow a grenade!"
G- "Oh yeah?"
*matter-of-factly pulls pin out, throws pin.*
G- "See? I'm not that-"
N- "Oh, shi-"
*KABOOOM!!!*
You haven't, perchance, been watching "Unknown Moments", have you?
"You know, i've got a feeling today is going to be a great day!" - Last recorded words of a resident on Isstvan III before Horus' attack.
"I can't come in today, i'm sick." - Unnamed Plague Marine
"Well that was a surprise!" - Unnamed Eldar Farseer
"Can robots eat cake?"
"I don't know, if they can't then there's more for us!"
- Last recorded conversation between two Fire Warriors going to throw a celebration for Necrons after the combined force of the Tau and Necrons repelled Hive Fleet Gorgon from Ka'mais.
"Does this suit make me look fat?" - Unnamed Crisis Shas'ui
"What could possibly go wrong?" - The accursed phrase.
"AH! AAAAAAHHHHH! HOT! HOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT! OWIES! OWIES! OWIES!!!!" - Cries of pain from an unnamed guardsman after a meltagun shot hit but failed to kill him.
"For the Greater Good! Why are your turds so big? What are you being fed!?" - Kroot Carnivore walking a Kroot Hound
"What does human taste like?"
"Chicken."
"And Eldar?"
"Chicken."
"How about Ork?"
"Chicken."
"Tyranid?"
"Beef."
"Really?"
"No, chicken."
- Conversation between two unnamed Kroot Carnivores.
"We have hooves and a huge battlesuit. How did the guys that designed this not understand the 'stealth' part of a 'stealth suit'?" - Unnamed Stealth Suit Shas'ui.
"Hammerhead, Manta, Tigershark... all these names strike fear into the hearts of our foes, but we need another name for our lastest and greatest tank!"
"I dunno... guppy?"
"...Genius."
- Early stage development of the latest weapons platform toting a quad-railgun, the Guppy.
"Open-topped?! We shall do no such thing!!!"
- Immolator crew.
"The flesh-draped, metallic abominations, though bestowed of such dread mannerisms, technology and visage, were ultimately no match for our magnificent wall of electrically-supercharged magnets."
- Imperial Commander.
"All ground units, enemy bombers are inbound to your position. Watch out for falling debris, over."
- Hydra Squadron Leader (stolen from the Apoc rulebook, I think...).
I_am_a_Spoon wrote:"Bravo squad, move up! Use Alpha squad as cover!"
- IG Lieutenant.
"The flesh-draped, metallic abominations, though of such dread mannerisms, technology and visage, were ultimately no match for our magnificent wall of electrically-supercharged magnets."
- Imperial Commander.
There was someone here who posted something along the lines of:
"If I survive falling from thousands of metres up in a metal box, survive smashing into the surface, survive getting out in the midst of an enemy outnumbering me 5 to 1, survive the hail of fire, kill enough of them to clear a safe zone, I think there'll be a more than 6 in one chance of me tripping over a rock and smashing my head open."
BTW can someone make this into a demotivational poster:
DEEP STRIKE MISHAPS
I don't care if you have an invulnerable save, you just died from rectal bleeding.
SM Sergeant: That is when we will withdraw and let the demo charges destroy the facility. Any questions?
SM: Yeah, can we not do this?
Sm Sergeant:What?
SM:I have stuff to do and it's gonna be difficult to do it if I'm dead.
"god necrons are sexy, did you see them yesterday against the nids, oooh, those shiny smooth bodies make my geneseed spill in my crotch plate"
Blood angel master Dante
unprinted matt ward fluff
"You know when I said that the food fight in the mess hall was like a chimpanzee's tea party?"
"Yes sir."
"I want to apologise to the monkey population, these Jokaero blokes are quite civil when it comes to tea parties."
"We couldn't quite get sharks with laser beams, but we got the next best thing."
"What?"
"Apes with laser beams."
Grot Mekanik-"Wots dis buton do?"
Big Mek-"Dats da on wot makes it blow up an kill anyting next ta ya!"
GM-"dos it work?"
BM-"Try it ovah der!"
BOOOM
BM-"I lose more oilers dat way... but its good for a larf!"
'Drop your pulse rifles lads, we can have these in combat!'- optimistic Tau shas'ui commanding his fire warrior squad facing an oncoming swarm of genestealers.
- Apothecary Livinius, on the death of a fellow Marine.
Guardsman One: "Commissar! We're surrounded! What do we do?!"
Commissar: "Only one thing we can do..."
Guardsman One: "I think I understand Sir. One last stand, in the Emperor's name."
Commissar: "Hell no! F*ck the damn Emperor, I was about to suggest that we surrender!"
Guardsman One: "What?!!!"
Commissar: "I'm not about to get myself killed for some mangled, half-rotten corpse, and neither should you! Signal our unconditional surrender at once!"
Guardsman One: "Sir?..."
Commissar: "Do it!"
Guardsman One: "Very well Sir." [Pulls out a white handkerchief, and begins to tie it to his bayonet.]
Commissar: "Soldier?"
Guardsman One: "Yes Sir?"
Commissar: "That was a test."
Guardsman One: "Sir?!..."
Commissar: "You failed." [Shoots Guardsman One.]
Guardsman Two: "Commissar! Why'd you do that?!!!"
Commissar: "Didn't you hear the man? We're surrounded! Gotta get your kicks while you still can."
I'm not quite sure if this counts as thread necro but...
I heard a joke today and I decided I'd 40k it up a bit...
Edit:stupid iPod word fixing thingy
Scout sniper 1: So, what's our mission?
Scout sniper 2: to kill a chaos lord.
Ss1: ok
(later...)
Ss1: so were is this damn lord?
Ss2: no idea
(a large bang is heard and ss2 falls to the ground)
Ss1: ahh! You ok?
(scilence)
Ss1: I better call the apothecarion
Apothecary: yes?
Ss1 my fellow scout just fell on the ground
A is he alive?Theseus nt point n come if he's dead
Ss1 ok
Bbbbbangggggg!!!!!!!
Sa1 he is now!
BOOOOOOOOOOM!...
(hushed ooooo's & awes from those watching the viewscreen)
"... and that my brothers is how you destroy a planet! Any questions?"
-Marine Sgt explaining exterminatus to his new Tactical Squad.
"Ewww.... thats just not right!?!?"
-Guardsman watching Necron body parts skitter across the ground, pulling themselves back together!
"KLAATU... BARADA... NIK(cough)... ...Awe crap!"
-Sorcerer of Chaos BOTCHING his summoning ritual!
Angron: HUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Chaos lord: Be wary the necron lord has a Wierd scythe.
Angron DUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
*lumbers over to necron lord*
Angron: HUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Necron Lord: *sigh
*shink*
Angron: hurrrRrrr.....DuuurrrRRRrrr....
*angron limps back*
Angron: huuuuuuurrrrrrrrr.......
Chaos Lord: Just Shut up you Big baby I warned you about that scythe.
Angon: duuuuurrrr.....
Chaos Lord: Stop it this is embarresing. You're Hur and Dur are all over the place.
that NEVER existed. That one (kind of) did...in 4chan fluff...
Lets face it. With the general shouty lexicon of Chaos followers at least one of them would have undoubtedly shouted his name in rage at one of his genius tactical manoeuvres.
ChrisWWII wrote:So tempted to post one of deepest, most amazing stories ever to come out of 40k fluff.
The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike/
I'm fairly certain someone has already posted that on this thread...
I'm also in favour of a rule against that being posted without someone directly asking what it is...
there was a decorated general with a heart of gold, that likened him to all the stories he told of past battles, won and lost, and legends of old a seasoned veteran in his own time
on the battlefield, he gained respectful fame with many medals of bravery and stripes to his name he grew a beard as soon as he could to cover the scars on his face and always urged his men on
but on the eve of a great battle with the infantry in dream the old general tossed in his sleep and wrestled with its meaning he awoke from the night just to tell what he had seen and walked slowly out of his tent
all the men held tall with their chests in the air, with courage in their blood and a fire in their stare it was a gray morning and they all wondered how they would fare till the old general told them to go home
He said: I have seen the others and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting I have seen their mothers and I will no other to follow me where I'm going
So,take a shower, shine your shoes you got no time to lose you are young men you must be living Take a shower, shine your shoes you got no time to lose you are young men you must be living go now you are forgiven
but the men stood fast with their guns on their shoulders not knowing what to do with the contradicting orders the general said he would do his own duty but would extend it no further the men could go as they pleased
but not a man moved, their eyes gazed straight ahead till one by one they stepped back and not a word was said and the old general was left with his own words echoing in his head he then prepared to fight
purplefood wrote:
I'm fairly certain someone has already posted that on this thread...
I'm also in favour of a rule against that being posted without someone directly asking what it is...
Hell, I think I might have been the one who posted it....
NashVentress wrote:Mat Ward: 'Today I think I will write a well-structured codex which doesn't urinate all over existing fluff and anger thousands of players.'
"Wow, Fredyx, I can't believe the raiders are full. I guess we'll just have to let these other humans go." - any DE.
or
"Ah, man! I *wanted* to go to Commorragh!" any human settler getting left behind.
or
"CDIS! Nobody move! Commorragh Department of Immigration Services! Alright guys, round up all undocumented servants. Have 'em deported in no time." -CDIS agent
Dante- "I am commander dante, chapter master of the blood angels, fear me, for I am the oldest and most experienced space marine alive!"
Lysander- "Do you have eternal warrior?"
Dante- "No, but-"
Lysander- "THEN SHUT THE FETH UP."
Danter- *whimper* "okay..." *whimper*
Dante: "I am Commander Dante, Chapter Master of the Blood Angels, fear me, for I am the oldest and most experienced Space Marine alive!"
Bjorn: "Are you sure of that? Last time I looked, you weren't around during the Heresy."
Dante: At least I'm not confined to a glorified metal box for all eternity! *snigger*
Bjorn: "Do you have Eternal Warrior?"
Dante: "No, why?"
Bjorn: *Dreadnought-fisty sounds*
NashVentress wrote:Mat Ward: 'Today I think I will write a well-structured codex which doesn't urinate all over existing fluff and anger thousands of players.'
Mard Ward exsists in 40k?!
He was, he was a champion of Nurgle who nurgle blessed with the ability to constantly spew out gak but couldn't handle it and became chaos spawn
Any tyranid- "I'm full up, let's leave the other platoon."
Any necron- "Trojan file detected!"
Any guardsman- "We have taken no casualties on this mission!"
Any space marine- "What do you mean we don't get any extra ammo clips?!"
Any tau- "CHARGE!!!"
Any dark eldar- "I want a magical princess castle cake and a barbie doll and a pony..."
Any sister of battle- "I think that emperor's a bit overrated, to be honest."
Any inquisitor- "I really like this guy..."
Any ork- "I think that's a bit over the top."
Any khorne follower- "I don't like getting my hands dirty."
Any tzeench follower- "Now that's just low."
Any nurgle follower- "EEEEEEW!"
Any daemon- anything.
Exopheric wrote:"My name is Ahriman, Master of Sorcery. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair."
I am a space clown that protects a magical library... fear me ye foolish one.
Ahriman set out for the Black Library in search of the answer to that age-old question: If a tree falls on a mime, does anybody care?
According to the greatest 40k author of all time C.S. GOTO HERO OF THE MULTILAZOR he's already proven that he can make a mime talk, and then die yet no one will care.
"He was, he was a champion of Nurgle who nurgle blessed with the ability to constantly spew out gak but couldn't handle it and became chaos spawn"
Murdock, I think you're onto something there...
And shrike, I know Birmingham wasn't a Wardism but was merely trying to imply it is where he would be in 40k, or where he deserves to spend a goodly while anyway.
Dante: "I am Commander Dante, Chapter Master of the Blood Angels, fear me, for I am the oldest and most experienced Space Marine alive!"
Bjorn: "Are you sure of that? Last time I looked, you weren't around during the Heresy."
Dante: At least I'm not confined to a glorified metal box for all eternity! *snigger*
Bjorn: "Do you have Eternal Warrior?"
Dante: "No, why?"
Bjorn: *Dreadnought-fisty sounds*
That...That made my day!
Commissar: I wonder what came first, the Gretchin or the Ork?
Guardsmen: The question seems irrelavent Sir, they've just looted our Chimera...
"Oi, Boss, I fink dat dere's too much dakka."
"Ya, I fink youse may be roight."
Or
Slaanesh: Like, hay guys, let's, totally like, have a bitchin' tea party! Like, who's with me?
Inquisitor: Hello Sir and Madam, we are sad to report that your sons Jonny and Mike are heretics.
Madam: Oh My Emporer!
Sir: I am going to smack those boys when I see them.
I: sir, Jonny doesn't need to have his smacked, He and his small band of renegade guard were found and executed this morning.
M: What about my little mikey?
I: well, as you know, mike was part of the adeptus asteres, Well, last night, one of our many spies found him worshipping nurgle. He placed a hidden camera and captured footage of it.
M: I cant believe it!
S: you better go and execute him right now!
I: we dont want to interupt what he's donig...
M + S: What?!
I: he found the camera, and sent us this footage...
Matt.Kingsley wrote:Inquisitor: Hello Sir and Madam, we are sad to report that your sons Jonny and Mike are heretics.
Madam: Oh My Emporer!
Sir: I am going to smack those boys when I see them.
I: sir, Jonny doesn't need to have his smacked, He and his small band of renegade guard were found and executed this morning.
M: What about my little mikey?
I: well, as you know, mike was part of the adeptus asteres, Well, last night, one of our many spies found him worshipping nurgle. He placed a hidden camera and captured footage of it.
M: I cant believe it!
S: you better go and execute him right now!
I: we dont want to interupt what he's donig...
M + S: What?!
I: he found the camera, and sent us this footage...
Matt.Kingsley wrote:Inquisitor: Hello Sir and Madam, we are sad to report that your sons Jonny and Mike are heretics.
Madam: Oh My Emporer!
Sir: I am going to smack those boys when I see them.
I: sir, Jonny doesn't need to have his smacked, He and his small band of renegade guard were found and executed this morning.
M: What about my little mikey?
I: well, as you know, mike was part of the adeptus asteres, Well, last night, one of our many spies found him worshipping nurgle. He placed a hidden camera and captured footage of it.
M: I cant believe it!
S: you better go and execute him right now!
I: we dont want to interupt what he's donig...
M + S: What?!
I: he found the camera, and sent us this footage...
Imperial Scout: "Sir i have the days report for you...but...but I'm not sure how to explain it...
Imperial Commander: "Out with it boy!"
Imperial Scout: "Well ok sir...ok...there seems to be this huge green wall...a tide...coming in our direction only a few clicks away. I was to far away to get a closer look, but It looked like what I just said sir"
Imperial Commander: "Ahhhh crap"
Automatically Appended Next Post: Fresh new Space Marine Scout: "Look daddy, I'm a Space Wolf, no no, I'm a Blood Angle, WAIT no, I'm a Dark Angle, NO NO NO, I'm A ULTRAMARINE!!!!"
Dad: "Wow....your a space marine....woooooo???, NO NO NO YOU KNOW WHAT.....NO!.....
Space marine scout: hey! you there, with the sniper rifle!!!
ScII Ghost: out with it
Scout: may i requisition you rifle?
Ghost: why?
Scout: So i may snipe the ork warboss.
Ghost: uh.... *points rifle at green tide, red laser flashes*
Voice from above: Nuclear launch detected.
Warboss: Whut wuz that? *see's large red circle*
Scout: WTF Ghost:... *lowers rifle, and watches nuke fall*
Scout: HOLY EXTERMINATUS! *Watches as the nuke decimates the warboss*
Commisar: hey! for unauthorized us- *ghost cloaks and runs away* i wuz going to give him medal TT^TT
Inquisitor Coteaz: CREEEEEEEEED!
*orders to fire at a random rock lying on the ground, a baneblade appears when the dust settles*
Lord Kastellan Creed: COTEAAAAAAZ!
those were good...
Possibly not good for the kiddywinkles...
...Awe crap!"