Well, here goes. Feel free to add comments. as every ten comics I will post on a new topic,, called "DiceMilleniumDakkaDakkkaArchives"THAT one there should be no posting on.THIS one, is for the comic itself, as well as comments and requests for a specific joke. There WILL be some story arcs, but mostly, this is for fun. If you would like to submit a fan-comic with the same characters, simply PM me it and I will post it up here and on the Archives.

hope you enjoy. And Requests for certain 'things' will be heeded if they fit within my limited capacity for drawing in photoshop.

Characters so far:

Commissar ------ (blanking on the name, but am thinking of naming him, Commisar Bolt. for those of you who know about the 40k game 'Final Liberation' the joke should be clear)

Wayne: night lord (first name is Bruce, but if you value your life NEVER call him *Batman*)

Commissar Yagdrassil

What chapter are the Marines going to be? Because I'm creating one and I want it to be correct

I am not quite sure. (and the comics I PMed you I am saving until I am lazy.)

but the first comic is going up in about a minute

Episode one:

NEVER RETREAT!




So how was that?

Commissar Butternuts
And good comic btw. Better than the PM one by far.

I lol'd, no joke, but outlines would be REALLY great.

yeah. I was planning on speech bubbles, but Photoshop does not com with them. as I progress, I will attempt to make them.

My attempt at a SPHESS MUHREEN:

I does not appear to show up.

On my PC it's only available as a download. Something's wrong, gimme a sec...

no wait. it downloaded. (LOLed)

Ah. Here is a strip by Trollpie. (see earlier)



...well crud. oh well, just click on the link folks!

Yeah, I tried using image tags aswell and it failed. I blame today's violent television.

...well all right then...I am working on another one as we speak/type

OK. now I know this may not be the best of them to come, and the joke has been milked to within an inch of it's life, but we ALL have this problem sometimes. right?

Nice
It could be better if you showed the gun turning red, and said it was making a "fzzzz" sound. At the moment, no offense, but writing "overheating sound" is a bit underdramatic.

First one, I lol'd
Second one is ironic.
Plasma gunner only survives..

EDIT OF THE SECOND ONE

better!

Indeed. Glad to see I helped!

yeah, right now I am bored, so..any suggestions on a comic? All I am doing is checking Dakka in-between reading 'Exterminatus Now' (knockoff of 40k) and thinking Scaveolea is the most awesome CSM ever.

Do one featuring an Emporer Titan getting kicked in the shins and falling over.

alright. imperiator, or warlord subclass?

CRASSUS ARMORED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.

OK. crassus drives into it and knocks it down (gonna take a while)

An Imperator Titan hit in the shines by a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT. Driven by Chuck Norris. With the words "man love rules okay" written down the side in bright pink.

...not that last bit...

last strip for tonight. might get a few up tomorrow.




"STORELORD TITAN"

so? how was that?

Decent. Very decent. Love the "smelly, sweaty, jobless gamers" part.
One thing you could do to minimise time wasted and maximise aestheitics is copy and paste from the internet: anything with a white background can work. That's how I made the Marine's bolter. It's easy and effective.

Some constructive criticism:
Also, the second slide on that seems to be the same image as the first slide, but with different writing. Copying & pasting the Titan from the first slide on to the second one would save time. Also, use straight lines and autoshapes more.

I dont think strait lines or auto-shape is available to me. (and the 'panels' are divided by drawing a line in between)

ineptus astartes wrote:so? how was that?

Well I could tell you how I haven't thought any of your comics have been funny so far.. but then again, I've used up so much funny in the last three years only seriously funny things make me laugh nowadays.

-shuffles into the corner and waits-

well same with me. these are simply jokes. I never laugh at jokes, heck, 50 precent of what I say in normal conversations are jokes, but I never LAUGH at them...maybe I should see a doctor...the last time I laughed at a comic was at another characters expense (see: Order of the Stick)

huh,pretty good. besides the art being a little sloppy its good.very funny.

lord commissar klimino wrote:very funny.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

lord commissar klimino wrote:very funny.

meh,i just find it funny.would be funnier with better art,but i doubt he owns a digital drawing pad. i mean the jokes are original-ish. the poker one made me laugh especially. the titan one was funny because of the comment about nerds.

I'll admit, the Commissar in the poker game had some merit. It's that style of thought that could make this comic successful.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:I'll admit, the Commissar in the poker game had some merit. It's that style of thought that could make this comic successful.

ah,see? give it a chance. ill be sitting back drinking coke while i review this.

Yeah, All I can do is move my mouse around, it does not even auto-straiten, my actual drawing skills are light years better, and take me less time, but I can not get them onto a computer.

yes. I know, this is the oldest 40k 'joke' in existence. but that did not stop me from going at it in my own way.

ineptus astartes wrote:yes. I know, this is the oldest 40k 'joke' in existence. but that did not stop me from going at it in my own way.

Spoiler:

why its funny as an IG player i have to say....BURN THE HERETIC! FACE THE WRAITH OF THE RED STORM!

also for only having a mouse it ok.

yes, but I once charged an imperial gun line with a (CC) squad of CSMs and suffered only one death. and the laser pointer thing has been around a while.

funny thing is lots of IG weapons rock,especially there vehicles,but there main weapons is worthless against 3+ armors.heck,4+ is bad for them to....

yeah. the vehicles are hard hitting. IG armored companies are a nightmare.

lord commissar klimino wrote:funny thing is lots of IG weapons rock,especially there vehicles,but there main weapons is worthless against 3+ armors.heck,4+ is bad for them to....

That's just because fluff=/=rules. In the fluff, Lasguns can take down Marines.

Goddamnit can we get back to reviewing these comics?
Anyway, Ineptus, if you could copy & paste a lot from the internet it would greatly improve the strips. Also, you could use Paint for autoshapes and line drawing functions.

If I could, I would...wait...I can. (cant use paint though)

ineptus astartes wrote:yes, but I once charged an imperial gun line with a (CC) squad of CSMs and suffered only one death. and the laser pointer thing has been around a while.

for some reason my Abbadon keeps dying to a beanet of gaurdsmen whenever he charges them

good comics so far.

the story of his life (abbadon's that is)

Just a random obvservation.. but everyone seems to be changing their avatars to crazy animals. Slowly but surely.. the barnyard heresy is gathering its forces..

I just did this cuz I like dogs.

you are right though...

Lol stuff happens, right?

Darkvoidof40k wrote:Just a random obvservation.. but everyone seems to be changing their avatars to crazy animals. Slowly but surely.. the barnyard heresy is gathering its forces..

a penguin in power armour whats not to like...

i bet the dudes cheating,hes hogging the rules so the other guy cant see em! i m-holy feth look out that window!

well he is reading the wrong rulebook foor a start and ooooooh look some friends of mine out of the window

yeah. the bloodstained window with the daemon world outside. games of 40k are both engrossing AND take ages to play.

Commissar, you say? Commissar General Steve. http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/316437.page

cant wait for the next comic.you need a regular update day. like every friday or something

also,this is my commissar

I am half done with the next. (the main charachters are coming)

You know, we should all be characters in this comic. Our internet persona's, played up and made totally over-the-top.

Yes? No? Maybe?

I won't demand to win every time. Much..

Darkvoidof40k wrote:You know, we should all be characters in this comic. Our internet persona's, played up and made totally over-the-top.

Yes? No? Maybe?

I won't demand to win every time. Much..

so..a dark katana kid that wants to kill most,a hypno cat,a pep dog,and others...DO IT.

but make darko always get hit over the head for being a nazi.make him wear nazi stuff to.

actually...I might do that. it would be a little hard to make the characters...but I could do it.

I'm totally into that...I could be a guitar wielding ork!

BTW got a good chuckle out of your other stuff ineptus, good idea you've got here...

thanks...actually I already have Darko and LCK (had to make dako's fur black cuz it's a white background, he is wearing a trench coat and fedora with an inquisition I on it. he punishes grammer heretics.

other RPers that I know well enough coming up.

left to right, LCK, darko, toastedandy and WARORK

Looks like me and toast are about to throw down while Dark and LCK watch...

I want to be the cynical and sarcastic inquisitor cat, or tech priest. Each one I have character for.

Also, give WARORK a top hat.

Kasrkai wrote:I want to be the cynical and sarcastic inquisitor cat, or tech priest. Each one I have character for.

Also, give WARORK a top hat.

Just wondering Kasrkai, why?

ineptus astartes wrote:left to right, LCK, darko, toastedandy and WARORK

Look at me.
Now look at your picture.
Now look back at me.
Sadly I am not the cat in this picture.
But I could be.
Use Old Spice, and your cat could be just like me.

WARORK93 wrote:

Kasrkai wrote:I want to be the cynical and sarcastic inquisitor cat, or tech priest. Each one I have character for.

Also, give WARORK a top hat.

Just wondering Kasrkai, why?

Then your bionic eye would be a monacle.

GENTLEMAN GUITARIST ORK, Y'KNOW, LIKE ERIC JOHNSON.

Kasrkai wrote:Then your bionic eye would be a monacle.

GENTLEMAN GUITARIST ORK, Y'KNOW, LIKE ERIC JOHNSON.

That is by far the funniest thing I've read today...well done...

i look evil..like im gonna kill you in ways you cant imagine...possibly doing other stuff while i am....i even have uni-brow...i love it!

and whats that thing living inside toaste?

Crabs. Octopussy.
Dear god strike me down for that one.

Kasrkai wrote:Crabs. Octopussy.
Dear god strike me down for that one.

that explains why darko looks scared of him....

and kasrkai,your a pilgrim cat,not a inquisitioner cat.

lord commissar klimino wrote:and kasrkai,your a pilgrim cat,not a inquisitioner cat.

Can you not see the "I" on his hat? He's obviously one of those pilgrim hat wearing witch hunters.

WARORK93 wrote:

lord commissar klimino wrote:and kasrkai,your a pilgrim cat,not a inquisitioner cat.

Can you not see the "I" on his hat? He's obviously one of those pilgrim hat wearing witch hunters.

hes a which hunter that came from a pilgrim group.dang,kasrkai must be messed up in the head.....and doesnt that mean hes a girl?

lord commissar klimino wrote:

HERESY GROWS FROM IDLENESS.

But my greatest advice is for you, Ineptus, to take your time. A good comic could take hours to do, especially with limited photoshop free hand tools. Your jokes are good, but a well thought out medium is what gives the real kick.

i was mad as hell at myself for getting Darko's spelling of 'violence' wrong and not noticing till I finalized it, but in this, you can't go back and fix it...

anyways, Darko and WARORK philosophize.

ineptus astartes wrote:i was mad as hell at myself for getting Darko's spelling of 'violence' wrong and not noticing till I finalized it, but in this, you can't go back and fix it...

anyways, Darko and WARORK philosophize.

...next comic make me get onto him about it X) also hilarious,literally does remind me of them......

thanks, getting WARORK's 'rolling his eyes' face was not easy actually.

so I have decided that all the avatars live in the same house. here is a pic of trollpie and kasrkai.

also..why is darko in his underwear? i will say he doesnt seem THAT lazy.

ineptus astartes wrote:so I have decided that all the avatars live in the same house. here is a pic of trollpie and kasrkai.

SEE? he is a pilgrim! going to get his lunch of fried chicken! (also dont forget to throw in warhammer jokes.make us rich Apocalypse players )

actually I have one already in mind...and I am trying to get the point across that darko is a cat, if he wore cloths it would make him too human. (unless I don't draw him with ANY cloths)

..

You.. you..


THE SPELLING MISTAKES HURT MY EYES.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:..

You.. you..


THE SPELLING MISTAKES HURT MY EYES.

and think about it, thats 'you' making it

lord commissar klimino wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:..

You.. you..


THE SPELLING MISTAKES HURT MY EYES.

and think about it, thats 'you' making it

INEPTUS SHALL BURN FOR THIS.

oh no,you burned are creator and we all cease to exist....feth you darko!

on topic when will the next be done? bet time: i put 10 Internets on today.

WELL SORRY! I can't control that the program I use has no spellcheck, and that when you type something you cannot go back on it.

ineptus astartes wrote:WELL SORRY! I can't control that the program I use has no spellcheck, and that when you type something you cannot go back on it.

You shouldn't be spelling things wrong anyway. -spadewhacka-

I might go draw us some characters later if I can be bothered.. or maybe I'll do an event for Hulk.. hmm.

EVENT! DO THE EVENT!


maybe I should make a strip where you hit someone over the head with a spade...

ineptus astartes wrote:EVENT! DO THE EVENT!


maybe I should make a strip where you hit someone over the head with a spade...

make its kasr,for also being a cat and stealing his space hulk events

already made it scrazza...

...that musta been one bad typo :/ darko is merciless...and a marine?

no, that is scrazza, not a marine.

ineptus astartes wrote:no, that is scrazza, not a marine.

i meant darko is a marine. how else he get a bolter? chaos wouldnt want him,they fear him.

no, that is his Spadegun, he brandishes it all the time on the Space Hulk OT thread

ah.oh,and i won my bet.everyone owes me 10 Internets

what?

lord commissar klimino wrote:oh no,you burned are creator and we all cease to exist....feth you darko!

on topic when will the next be done? bet time: i put 10 Internets on today.

see?

ah...

Lord commissar Klimono wins ten internets

ineptus astartes wrote:ah...

Lord commissar Klimono wins ten internets

mixed feelings on this victory :/

and why?

So I'm a chicken.
With hair that occasionally goes crazy as I jump up and scream "ROCK 'N' ROLL!!" before I run straight in to some sort of bad situation. Sort of like a bird Leeroy Jenkins.
Also, I see that the quality of the drawings is increasing.

yes, you are the chicken

Not just any chicken, THE chicken. I am pleased.

TrollPie wrote:Not just any chicken, THE chicken. I am pleased.

Funky chicken has been noticed by maddened cat. Funky chicken is no longer safe.

I haz an axe. An makes me talk leik LOL cat cuz it make Darko cry in despair.

and that it does.

How did I go from having shoes in the first panel to not having them in the second panel?

Feth it Kasrkai, come back here with my orky boots! For the last time quit using my stuff to play with your exterminatus-o-matic!

NEVA'! ORK BOOTZ HAZ DA STRONGEST STINK FOR DA EXTERMINA-WATCH-MA-CALL-IT!

WARORK93 wrote:How did I go from having shoes in the first panel to not having them in the second panel?

Cutbacks.. what ya gonna do in this economy..

so, Darko, is that what a spadegun is?

ineptus astartes wrote:so, Darko, is that what a spadegun is?

Nope. I already explained before.

It's a harpoon gun, but the harpoon is replaced with a full sized garden spade. You drew a broken trowel.

Yes, I'm a spade nazi too. Now go correct your grammar before I beat you with my array of deadly garden appliances.

OMG DARK0 IZ JEST MESSN W1F U DUN WERRY 2 MUCH L01

Kasrkai wrote:OMG DARK0 IZ JEST MESSN W1F U DUN WERRY 2 MUCH L01

I can report you for breaching the rules for repetition of such posts.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

Kasrkai wrote:OMG DARK0 IZ JEST MESSN W1F U DUN WERRY 2 MUCH L01

I can report you for breaching the rules for repetition of such posts.

I could report you for many irrelevant posts and offensive actions. Or destroy you with my other resources.

But since we're both cats, and you haven't been foolish enough to oppose me, we're krispy kreme at the moment.

Kasrkai wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

Kasrkai wrote:OMG DARK0 IZ JEST MESSN W1F U DUN WERRY 2 MUCH L01

I can report you for breaching the rules for repetition of such posts.

I could report you for many irrelevant posts and offensive actions. Or destroy you with my other resources.

But since we're both cats, and you haven't been foolish enough to oppose me, we're krispy kreme at the moment.

You spelled creme wrong.

-nerdy laughter of superiority-

I win this round! -lays winning hand on the circular poker table-


---

Ineptus, take notes, we're giving ideas for your comic.

I hereby invalidate their logo with it's incorrect spelling. -throws burning dictionary at corporate fat cats-

oh gods. kasrkai, I think I just got a little more stupid reading that.

ineptus astartes wrote:oh gods. kasrkai, I think I just got a little more stupid reading that.

My friend, is that possible?

Then again, our government..

Darkvoidof40k wrote:I hereby invalidate their logo with it's incorrect spelling. -throws burning dictionary at corporate fat cats-

I invalidate your dictionary with deliciousness.

Kasrkai wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:I hereby invalidate their logo with it's incorrect spelling. -throws burning dictionary at corporate fat cats-

I invalidate your dictionary with deliciousness.

I burn your house and your family and all of your real life friends.

Then I nuke whatever miserable country you reside it.

Then I come back to reality and glare at your attempted invalidation and laugh.

oh gods, I hate those stuff 'creme' jeezus christ.

ineptus astartes wrote:oh gods, I hate those stuff 'creme' jeezus christ.

Does anybody know what he's on about? Anybody at all?

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

Kasrkai wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:I hereby invalidate their logo with it's incorrect spelling. -throws burning dictionary at corporate fat cats-

I invalidate your dictionary with deliciousness.

I burn your house and your family and all of your real life friends.

Then I nuke whatever miserable country you reside it.

Then I come back to reality and glare at your attempted invalidation and laugh.

I have no house, I live in my van.
I have no family, my immediate parents died in a car wreck and my extended family has died of natural causes.
I have no friends, as I can't trust people.
I'm constantly on the move.

Donuts are superior to grammar and spelling any day.

I will just shut up now.

Hey guys, I think we're doing it again.

So, back to brainstorming ideas.. ah yes, my character could go on grammar crusades.. and realise he has no gas for his American veh-hee-cal and when he tries to correct the pronunciation of some lowlife thugs he meets with trouble.. then it's spadegun time.

See, I'm on-topic. -shifty eyes-

I want to eat Darko in one, and comment on the faint taste of Nazi.

back to DOABLE IDEAS...

ineptus astartes wrote:back to DOABLE IDEAS...

Something about a bunch of you chatting about my lack of eventing.

Or do an intervention on aforementioned topic.



Get drawing fool.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

Kasrkai wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:I hereby invalidate their logo with it's incorrect spelling. -throws burning dictionary at corporate fat cats-

I invalidate your dictionary with deliciousness.

I burn your house and your family and all of your real life friends.

Then I nuke whatever miserable country you reside it.

Then I come back to reality and glare at your attempted invalidation and laugh.

And I drink both of your milkshakes...now get back on topic before we get locked...

There is a problem with thew application ATM. i dont know the sizes of what I am doing, damn.

Use MS Paint.

OH WAIT...

I think you need a Walrus...

yes I do...

No you don't...

this...has gone downhill pretty fast :/

and add the walrus....and more warhammer jokes.....and darko getting his *ss kicked :3 (get it? cat emote )

yes, but I need to fix photoshop first.

lord commissar klimino wrote:this...has gone downhill pretty fast

Indeed. Be better if it took a turn in far less spammy directions.

GASP

as soon as I go offline a war stars

*sigh*

back on topic now darko needs DUEL spadeguns (because 2 is better than one)

alright, picking this back up.

expect an update within a few days.