80907
Post by: Maximus Bitch
According to Collected Visions H[u]is last words were:
The universe has many horrors yet to throw at us. This is not the end of our struggle. This is just the beginning of our crusade to save Humanity. Be faithful! Be strong! Be vigilant!
A typical Churchill-esque motivational warning. I thought it sounded kinda cheesy but I can't think of anything better to say.
If you were the Emperor, would you say the same thing, or would it be something different?
79409
Post by: BrianDavion
"is that my spleen on the other side of the room?"
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Post by: mitch_rifle
The horror.... the horror...
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Post by: Thairne
I've hid the last complete STD in the universe in.... *gurgle*
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Post by: Ailaros
Please. Let. Me.
Die...
81025
Post by: koooaei
"...hey, that's the wrong thro-"
34258
Post by: Pilau Rice
Pull my finger
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Post by: Furyou Miko
"Oh, bugger."
80907
Post by: Maximus Bitch
I hope those won't be my last words.
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Post by: King Pariah
Get me onto my throne, I'd rather not gak in my pants.
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Post by: jhe90
You should have seen the other guy!
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Post by: Carlson793
"F@(&!! That hurt you m... <gurgle gurgle>"
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Post by: clively
"Thank You"
or
"About Time"
I really think the Emperor intended things to work out exactly as they did. I think he wants to become yet another chaos god and the best way to accomplish that is to get trillions and trillions of people to believe in him as such. What better way to do this than to "die" as their "savior"
80907
Post by: Maximus Bitch
clively wrote:"Thank You"
or
"About Time"
I really think the Emperor intended things to work out exactly as they did. I think he wants to become yet another chaos god and the best way to accomplish that is to get trillions and trillions of people to believe in him as such. What better way to do this than to "die" as their "savior"
Ooh, evil Emperor you got there 
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Post by: Talizvar
The future of the human race is assured if we.. <gurgle>
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Post by: pm713
Damn children.
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
"stay on the right path. do not stray from the power of non-religion. do not start an inquisition"
"what did he say?"
"i think he said 'start an inquisition'"
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Post by: TheCustomLime
"Just... don't... feth... everything up".
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Post by: Co'tor Shas
"Maybe I should have hired a baby sitter"
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Post by: curran12
"What a pisser."
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Post by: Boreal
"Don't .... start.... a... religion... you.... asshats!"
*gurgle*
"Oh, and I have to die to be re-...." *more gurgle*
*dead*
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Post by: Bharring
I'm going to Disney World?
39550
Post by: Psienesis
"Wait! I can Regenerate! It's a basic Biomancy power!"
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Post by: Alcibiades
Rosebud.
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Post by: Paradigm
'Strike me down, and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine...'
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Post by: BobNT
Huh... what...? I just had the strangest dream...
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Post by: EmpNortonII
"Horus, you have no hope of beating me in a fi-" *splurch*
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Post by: Wyzilla
FTFY
"Just ally with the Eldar."
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Post by: tomball0706
Bury me in my unicorn onesie please Malcy <3 <3 <3
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Post by: Exergy
Lorgar was right
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Post by: fallinq
 Thairne wrote:I've hid the last complete STD in the universe in.... *gurgle*
Um... I think you mean STC. 
"I could have avoided this if I had just been less arrogant and looked at what was right in front of me. Forgive me."
Let's face it, at that point everything was too horribly screwed up to fix with just a sentence or two, but at least by owning up to his mistakes he could've died being a little more sympathetic and less of dick.
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Post by: Happyjew
KHAAAAAAAAAAARN!!!
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Post by: wufai
"D'oh"!
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Post by: Exergy
"I've had a pretty good run"
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Post by: SkavenLord
It's just a flesh wound. 
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Post by: Psienesis
"The cake... was a lie."
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Post by: BrotherOfBone
Remember me as I am.. FILLED WITH BLOODTHIRSTY RAGE!
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Post by: Psienesis
"I... just saved... 15% on my... car insurance..." <dies>
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Post by: OgreChubbs
AHHH Fu..... something like that
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Post by: Ashiraya
'Am I not supposed to be perpetual?'
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Post by: Frankenberry
"That escalated quickly."
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Post by: Animus
"The Horus Heresy novel series is officially non-canon."
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Post by: thenoobbomb
"Please... follow me on Instagram.."
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Post by: Judge Dredd
"it's just a small wound.. I'm fine, really"
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Post by: Deadshot
"Just picked up a McDonalds cheeseburger for 99p "
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Post by: pinecone77
"What? Can't you lot take a Joke!"
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Post by: chaos0xomega
"Please... kill me."
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Post by: Draccan
"GW priced me out!"
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Post by: ThePrimordial
"Whatever you do, let me die"
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Post by: Abadabadoobaddon
Remember what I said about seein' a light when yer dyin'...?
It ain't true - I can't see a damn thing.
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Post by: Erik_Morkai
Delete my browser history...
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Post by: OIIIIIIO
What are Elvis, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, and Jimi Hendrix doing here?
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Post by: thegreatchimp
"I'll be back"
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Post by: Sgt_Smudge
OH YEAH. That hits the spot, OOH, right there...
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Post by: Macharius.
Bet you wish you had girls, huh?
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Post by: jreilly89
"I rolled a 1......"
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Post by: Imperious
"Time for an epic gak! Everyone Out"
32089
Post by: TommyBs
"To the people of the Imperium of Mankind let it be known that I'm...
never gonna give you up,
never gonna let you down,
never gonna run around and desert you"
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Post by: Unyielding Hunger
Guys...I don't have much time...
Don't turn back to religion after I spent so long eradicating it.
Technology is our salvation. Embrace it and use it to restart the golden age of Mankind. Don't be afraid to experiment and try your own inventions, like I did, but avoid the killer robots department.
There is something called Chaos. It's bad, but educate our people on it's dangers and we should be fairly good.
Malcador left the oven on over there, do me a favor and get me a slice of the pie he was baking.
The Eldar may be annoying, but the ones not covered in spikes are probably one of the best people to talk to about educating yourselves about galactic issues.
Magos Org'n Donar, I am still well aware of my facilities. Put my spleen back. No, you cannot have it for testing.
I may have been a little frivolous in my youth. If you ever find anyone claiming to be my kid with some interesting psyker abilities, I'm probably to blame. There is a stack of blank checks in the night stand in my bedroom. Go ahead and give him the back pay on child support.
Seriously, you guys call yourselves my companions and were all the nice shiny gear I gave you, but not one of you is actually going to walk over there and get me a slice of that pie? It's his prized apple, for the Omnissiah's sake! No! Tech-priest Ardemi, I order you to put down that probe. That pie has absolutely nothing to do with hidden archeotech technology.
Orks are a major problem facing galactic expansion. See if you can't hire them for some disposable troops out near that...what did my son call it? Oh yes, "Eye of Terror". Really Perturabo? I've had IBS that has looked more terrifying. Wait, what am I saying? Scribe, scratch this part from the records. No, seriously, stop writing this down. I don't care if you plan to immortalize my last words, the future generations can afford to miss these lines. Uh-huh, sure you are. Alright future generations, your now a little more confused thanks to this blasted scribe.
This chair has me to power some of the more important aspects, but there are a nice pair of batteries in the back for keeping my life support going. Both are built into chargers. They last about 10,000 years apiece. One's charged, one's running. That's the green and the yellow lights respectively, Arch-Magos, so don't mix them up. When the yellow starts flashing, it's getting low and you need to swap them so the charged one starts going and the low battery starts charging. Just flip the swit-
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Post by: PastelAvenger
Gazpacho Soup.....
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Post by: ChazSexington
 Paradigm wrote:'Strike me down, and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine...'
This one.
Alternatively, "So be it... Jedi..."
or
"If only Dorn got here in time, Sanguinius and I would both be alive!"
Just to watch Dorn guilt trip himself into suicide. Fur die lulz.
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Post by: argonak
Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes.
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Post by: Avatar 720
"You're all adopted."
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Post by: TommyBs
"I was there, the day Horus slew the Emperor"
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Post by: unto the cruel
"Somebody check the plumbing on my golden toilet and make sure it's still good"
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Post by: Melissia
"Me-damnit, Magnus."
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Post by: Col. Dash
Crap, that was the worst beer I ever tasted....
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Post by: dracpanzer
Damn kids...
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Post by: krodarklorr
"I'll be back......with weapons....."
32089
Post by: TommyBs
"Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas"
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Post by: Sgt_Smudge
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!
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Post by: GreaterGoodIreland
I like to think he would break into a rendition of My Dick by Mickey Avalon.
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Post by: squidhills
"That fething Horus. I obviously stopped spanking the ungrateful little gakker way too soon."
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Post by: BobNT
Wow those Daemonettes sure know how to party but damn am I going to have a killer headache when I wake up tomorrow...
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Post by: the shrouded lord
holly gak, does anyone else feel sick after eating the cookies?
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Post by: Gwaihirsbrother
Finally
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Post by: Fireraven
There is no spoon.
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Post by: Rysaer
'Tell them I need 1000 souls a day to keep me alive, it'll be hilarious.'
Or
'Why put me in that stupid throne, get me one of those awesome dreadnought bodies.'
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Post by: Happyjew
Rosebud.
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Post by: Red Marine
" My sons...use my poop...to kill demons...ifyouwantacarortruckgoseeCal...BLARGHHH! "
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Post by: M138
"You were greater than the stars and it still wasn't enough. Perhaps when I return man will have overcome the basic hunger for power and now I shall rest."
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Post by: Guardsmen Bob
"Hehe....hehehe...Hahahaha! THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!"
jhe90 wrote:You should have seen the other guy!
Love it, and he's right. He might be gakked up, but who still has a soul!
Animus wrote:"The Horus Heresy novel series is officially non-canon."
So sayith the Emperor, may his will be done.
Erik_Morkai wrote:Delete my browser history...
That's what, 15 thousand years of porn?
thegreatchimp wrote:"I'll be back"
My first thought when I read the title.
argonak wrote:Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes.
If only they listened... 
Avatar 720 wrote:"You're all adopted."
YES! My favorite!
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Post by: Vector Strike
"Release the Kraken! ...no, not my bug collection! Id-"
haha, I like this one
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
"Don't flush that it's my kidney not a gold fish!"
33123
Post by: Munga
Unplug me!
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Post by: jimkurtjimmy
Whateva! Whateva! I do what I want!
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Post by: bocatt
Horus: Father... I'm...sorry...
Big E: Hi sorry... I'm dad...
*both die*
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Post by: dakkajet
"I want a gold throne for my... c..cccorps to s-sit on... FOR MANKIND..."
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Post by: Forcemajeure
"Say my name"
Or
"Tell Guilliman that I have no son"
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Post by: raekone
"Et tu, Horus"
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Post by: Pyeatt
"Sly Marbo.... Was... My favorite...."
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Post by: Phydox
Edited by RiTides - This type of humor probably isn't appropriate here, feel free to make another submission, though...
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Post by: timetowaste85
Before I die, somebody find Mike Hunt for me. I need to talk to that guy...yell so he can hear you.
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Post by: Khonsu
Not a joke, Probably something about being sorry for betraying Magnus.
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