Alright, I'm suffering from the fact that I have accumulated hundreds of jokes in my brain over the years.
And I'm more than happy to share them. The issue is, they are all "Dad Jokes."
When I start to tell one, my audience looks either afraid or has the same facial expression of someone who is looking for an excuse to leave, but can't come up with anything believable in such a small window of time.
So, dear Dakka-ites, I need some new material that I can say over a gaming table that won't illicit groans but is still decent enough taste that I won't get the evil eye from the Counter Crones.
I was walking through the graveyard yesterday, and I saw a man just getting up from beside a headstone. Morning, I said. No, I was just having a poo, he said.
I went to the Doctor, and he told me I’m a hypochondriac. Oh no, not that as well I said.
I asked in a bookshop if they had any books on Turtles. Hardback, they said. Yes, with tiny little heads I replied.
“A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”
The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good."
And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”
An old grandma was talking to her pregnant niece. She said, "you've heard about how the stork brings babies right? Well, have you heard about the one that prevents them?"
The niece responds that she had not. To which the grandma said, "yeah, it's the swallow"
8 year old girl came up to me at the library ready to check out the book "What Every Young Mother Should Expect".
I asked her if she was sure she wanted to check out that book?
She said yes because she was starting a moth collection.
This is my go-to, "preacher joke" that is both actually funny and in good taste.
A man goes skydiving, and pulls his ripcord.
Nothing happens.
Alarmed, he pulls the back up.
Nothing happens.
Panicking, as he plummets toward the ground he's surprised to see another man shooting up to meet him, blackened and burnt up. The first man shouts "hey, do you know anything about parachutes?"
The second man shakes his head, "No. Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
"I'm the toughest mint there is," said Polo. In fact, he wouldn't shut up about how tough he was. TicTac was quite impressed. Polo bragged about how no other mintes would mess with him, and he'd bash in the face of anymint who tried to intimdate him or the other patrons of the bar.
Just then, Trebor Extra Strong Mint walked. "Gimme a beer!" he shouted. He quaffed the beer, spilling much of it, then threw the glass on the floor, smashing it. "Gimme another," he shouted, grabbing the barmint by the collar. He quaffed and smashed again before punching Smint, who was quietly enjoying a drink. Once he poured himself another beer, quaffing and smashing again, he stormed out. Polo watched all of this without moving from his seat.
"I thought you said you're the toughest mint in the world?" asked Tic Tac, obviously disappointed in his hero, Polo. "Why didn't you do anything? He just bashed up Smint really badly!"
"I ain't messin' with him!" exclaimed Polo, "He's bleedin' menthol!"
Automatically Appended Next Post: This might only make sense to UK folks
Red Tarmac and Green Tarmac were sitting in a bar.
"I'm the toughest tarmac there is," said Red Tarmac. In fact, he wouldn't shut up about how tough he was. Black Tarmac was quite impressed. Red Tarmac bragged about how no other tarmacs would mess with him, and he'd bash in the face of anytarmac who tried to intimdate him or the other patrons of the bar.
Just then, Green Tarmac walked. "Gimme a beer!" he shouted. He quaffed the beer, spilling much of it, then threw the glass on the floor, smashing it. "Gimme another," he shouted, grabbing the bartarmac by the collar. He quaffed and smashed again before punching a concrete who was quietly enjoying a drink. Once he poured himself another beer, quaffing and smashing again, he stormed out. Red Tarmac watched all of this without moving from his seat.
"I thought you said you're the toughest mint in the world?" asked Black Tarmac, obviously disappointed in his hero, Red Tarmac. "Why didn't you do anything? Green Tarmac just bashed up that concrete really badly!"
"I ain't messin' with him!" exclaimed Red Tarmac, "He's a bleedin' cyclepath!"
Automatically Appended Next Post: "What is "ET" short for?"
"I don't know, what is ET short for?"
"Because if he was any taller, he'd bash his head on the ceiling of his spaceship."
Heard this the other day. Warning: It sounds racist, (well, it kinda is, but not what you think)
An Englishman, and Welshman, and a Pakistani walk into a maternity ward ready to pick up their newborn sons. A Doctor stops them in the hall and says, "Sirs, there's been a terrible mistake. We've mixed up the paperwork and legally can not tell which baby belongs to which family."
Well, the only plan they have is to draw straws and choose a baby. The Englishman wins, walks into the room, and comes out carrying a brown baby. The Pakistani father steps up and says, "Sir, I'm no expert, but that baby is brown, and obviously not yours". The Englishman states, "Yeah, well one of those other two are Welsh, and I damn well can't have one of those in my home now can I ?"
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit go to donate blood. The phlebotomist asks the rabbit what kind of blood he has, to which he replies, "I think I'm a type-O." (I probably butchered that joke)
Two men chatting with each other "Yesterday my wife said the way we act she thinks all men together only have a single brain they use in turns."
"And? Did you come up with a good comeback?"
"I couldn't, wasn't my turn to use the brain..."
I'm afraid that this one will not translate well to people who don't interact with New Englanders.
☆☆☆
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.
By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”
Lathe Biosas wrote: I'm afraid that this one will not translate well to people who don't interact with New Englanders.
☆☆☆
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.
By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”
A quartet of prominent crows have started a charity to help birds injured by vehicles.
Lathe Biosas wrote: I'm afraid that this one will not translate well to people who don't interact with New Englanders.
☆☆☆
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.
By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”
Lathe Biosas wrote: I'm afraid that this one will not translate well to people who don't interact with New Englanders.
☆☆☆
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.
By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”
Hey! I resemble that remahk!
Does this mean that you pronounced your screen name as "Bawdah-Countiss"
D’you remember white dog turds? D’you? Remember? D’you remember dog turds? Eh? White ones? D’you remember, eh? Eh? Remember white Dog Turds? Back in the nineteen eiiiiighties? D’you remember that?
They’re all dead now, breaks yer ‘eart.
D’you remember broken ‘earts because something from the past is in the past? Eh? Eh? D’you remember? Break yet ‘eart, dunnit.
This post is sponsored by the Peter Kaye Remebrance Society.
D’you remember Peter Kaye? Eh? Remember ‘im? Fat lad, northern. Did stand up? You remember, don’t you madam? Eh, eh? He’d stand on t’stage, remembering things! Eeeeee ‘e were a laugh, eh?
Better than that Michale McIntyre, eh? Oh I see you know sir! Eh? Eh? Remember ‘im? ‘Ed just stand on stage noticing things and wobbling ‘is ‘ead!
4 Catholic mother's were sitting around talking about their children.
Mom 1: My son became a priest, so everyone calls him Father.
Mom 2: My son became a Bishop, so says "Your Excellency" when they meet him.
Mom 3: Mine became a Cardinal so everyone addresses him, "Your Eminence" when they meet him.
The fourth mother calmly sips her tea and then say, "My son is 6' 2" tall, has a chiseled jaw line, has a rock hard physique, and works as an exotic dancer. Whenever people meet him, they say "My god!"
Cyel wrote: Are puns the only jokes nowadays? No situational comedy whatsoever? Absurdism maybe?
As long as it isn't the Black and White Space Marine joke or any of its ilk, we will be OK.
Oh.... then you'll totally want to read what's in the Spoiler...
Spoiler:
This is a story about a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White Bike.
There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter.
So he went up to the palace and the guard naturally inquired "Who goes there?", to which he replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?" asked the guard, with a not inconsiderable amount of awe in his voice.
"Yes, I'm *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter," replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage."
The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your first task is to slay the dragon on Xylon III."
On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, pass."
The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast.
On his way into the palace the guard inquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, pass"
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".
On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, pass."
The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later.
On his way into the palace the guard inquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike.
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace".
On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, pass."
Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
On his way into the palace the guard inquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike, can I marry your daughter now?"
Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.
Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.
It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made at first to look like a dead end but is truly a turn in the hallway. They venture around this turn and into a great room.
In this room are torches. A sign just inside the room warns “He who lights this shall burn to death.” (In Egyptian hieroglyphs of course) The first friend takes a torch, and lights the end. The Friends venture through the room to another.
In this second room is a small lake, with a small canoe able to seat three. In the canoe is a paddle that reads, “He who uses this shall die a watery death.” The second friend takes this paddle and uses it to guide the three of them to the other side of the lake and through a third and final door.
In this last room is a great atrium, filled with heaps upon heaps of golden artifacts and jewels. The three friends rush in, and come to a golden sarcophagus. The third friend looks at it, and sees that it has the warning “The first man to touch this treasure shall die a most terrible death” written on its exterior. The third friend, giving the message no care, proceeds to pick up as much gold as he can. His friends quickly follow suit.
Many months later, after the friends had returned home with their loot and used it to live lucrative lives, the third friend received troubling news. The first friend had been sleeping when his mansion had caught fire and burned to the ground, killing him. Remembering the warning, he calls the second friend, but they both laugh it off.
A month later, the third friend is watching the news when a breaking story comes on. It is his second friend, who had been out on his yacht. The boat had unexplainably capsized, killing him. The third friend saw this and grew terribly fearful.
Assuming he had a month left before whatever horror would befall him, the third friend sold many of his belongings to afford the most secure underground bunker. He then used his remaining fortune to buy an incredibly high tech security system, cameras all over, and 30+ armed guards stationed at the entrance.
The third friend spent a month in the bunker.
30 days passed, and night was falling when the third friend look to the security cameras. Outside of the bunker, at the entrance, was an empty expanse of land, save one object. All the security guards were mysteriously gone, and just in frame was the silhouette of a sarcophagus. The third friend panicked.
Rushing to the door, he pushed all manners of furniture before it. A fridge, a bookshelf, his bed, a desk. But once he had placed the final barricade, a great pounding game to the door. Looking to security footage, the sarcophagus had begun to float, and was using itself as a battering ram. To the third friends horror, the door began to crack.
With a tremendous boom, the door and all the furniture was blasted away. The third friend screamed, as there in the doorway floated the sarcophagus. He ran through the bunker, stalked by the sarcophagus. The friend jumped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. There, he sat on the toilet and cried.
BOOM The sarcophagus was there, breaking through the bathroom door. The third friend panicked, running to the sink as the sarcophagus inched forward. The friend picked up a bottle of shampoo and through it. The sarcophagus kept coming. He threw a can of shaving cream. The sarcophagus was within 10 feet of him now. He threw a tube of toothpaste. The sarcophagus was within arms length. The friend made one final attempt, he reached into the cabinet, grabbed a plastic bottle, filled with a green liquid , and threw it. The sarcophagus fell to the ground and turned to dust.
The man marveled at this. Looking for the last thing he had thrown, he picked it up and thought, “All I had to do was take some NyQuil and the coffin would stop."
There are some old jokes from [foreign country] popping up in modern variations relevant to [your country/my country]. Since they work broadly anywhere and I don’t want to get political, I’ll use the generic form.
Why do [secret police] always send three men on a mission? Because they need one who can write, one who can read, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
A policeman seizes a protester holding a “Down with the Moron” sign. “You are under arrest for criticizing [leader]!” “But I didn’t! My sign doesn’t mention him at all!” “Don’t you lie. Everybody knows when you talk about a moron you’re talking about [leader].”
I'm absolutely useless at jokes, but I did use one against a supervisor that used to make my work life a living misery. This will sound completely bizarre, but one way was to reinforce their mental superiority upon us by telling excellent jokes on a very frequent basis - even when we clearly weren't in the mood for them. So I decided that instead of lashing out and regretting it, I would pick a joke and reherse it to the point where I didn't even have to think about it. Just had to wait until the right moment presented itself...
"I'm afraid I'm no good at telling jokes. I know a few but...well...somehow I always fumble it."
"Really? Well, go on then."
...so I told them the joke and lets just say they didn't like being taken off guard in front of everyone else. It didn't bring the house down with laughter, but going forward that supervisor gave me a wider berth and it was just enough pressure taken off that I could then turn up to work without further anxiety attacks. Thankfully no one knew where I got it from, nor the effort I went through to reherse it. Ask me about computer programming and I can easily talk non-stop for hours, but jokes are bloody hard to even get the first sentence out.
I'm afraid that Alan Moore isn't my cup of tea...but I would like to buy him a cup of tea for writing the joke that made my life easier...
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian) an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans walk up to an upscale nightclub.
The doorman scrutinizes the group one by one and stops their entrance saying,
Guy goes to a pet store, asks the clerk for an Ape.
Clerk goes into the back, returns with a chimp.
Guy: " What does the Ape cost?"
Clerk: " 10'000$"
Guy: "That is expensive, what can he do then?"
Clerk: " He can read."
Guy: "Do you have another one?"
Clerk goes into the back, returns with a second chimp.
Guy: "How much for this one?"
Clerk: "20'000$"
Guy: "And what can this one do?"
Clerk:" He can read and write."
Guy: Do you have another one?"
Clerk goes into the back, reapears with a third one.
Guy: "How much for this one?"
Clerk: "30'000$"
Guy: "And what can he do?"
Clerk: "Actually nothing, but he is the boss of the other two."
An Irishman is pulled out of a burning bar by a fireman, covered in soot and ash. The fireman shakes him awake and says "What happened? How did the fire start?" The Irishman says "Beats me. It was on fire when I got here."
I went into B&Q* the other day. Employee asked if I wanted decking. I got the first punch in, so the joke was on him.
Automatically Appended Next Post: I went to the local video shop and asked ‘can I have Batman Forever’ and the kid said ‘Nah, you’ve got to bring it back tomorrow’
*substitute for your local recognisable hardware/DIY store.
Thank you. Occasionally I tell a good joke... but not today!
A couple has gone to bed for the night when there’s a knock on the door. The husband rolls over in bed and looks at the alarm clock; it’s 3:00 in the morning. Grumbling, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door to find a man standing outside.
“Hey, pal,” says the stranger, “can you give me a push?”
“Forget you,” says the husband, “It’s 3 a.m.” And he shuts the door and goes back upstairs, climbs in bed and tells his wife what happened.
“You’re so selfish,” she says. “Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain and you had to knock on that man’s door for a jump? What would have happened if he’d been like you?”
So he gets out of bed again and goes back downstairs, opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger, he shouts, “Hey, pal, you still want a push?”
A voice calls back, “Yes, please.”
Still unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?”
Not sure where to put this, as it’s not really a joke, but the United Kingdom’s Defense Attaché to the desert country of the United Arab Emirates, is named Sandy Sandilands. Amazingly funny.
