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So I had the pleasure of reading thier most recent "What's New Today" Article:

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/blogPost.jsp?aId=15900040a

The fact that they are serious about this is only that much more comical. My favorite quotes are:

Jim... was the last to run the gauntlet and came up against Tyranids. The Tyranid Warriors... [snip] Carnifex... [snip] Hive Tyrant... [snip]....Trygon...[snip]...The only thing that really slowed the Dreadknight were the Tyranid monstrous creatures, and even then they had to gang up on it.

Yep, all 800 points worth...and for a second, I thought Matt Ward was writing the Battle Rep :lol:

The Carnifex, very unexpectedly, died (to much cheering).

They're right! Fearless wounds are...unexpected ...and the cheering...also unexpected .

Incidentally, never forget to use the Hammerhand psychic power with the Dreadknight. Without that extra strength, it would have failed to wound the Carnifex...

Because... you know... STR 6 with rerolls to hit and wound is never going to hurt a carnifex. And wait...are those TMC armed with...venom cannons? ROFL!

Ah well, I got a great laugh out of it

Actually, it was nice to see them use destructable terrain. Warhammer terrain is usually left out of these things.

Nurglitch wrote:Actually, it was nice to see them use destructable terrain. Warhammer terrain is usually left out of these things.

Hmmm...don't quite follow. The orcs were in a building (which are treated like immobile transports in 5th - albeight with a few extra caveates) and have to be destroyed before you can assault the contents. Once destroyed, buildings are treated as dangerous area terrain. Of course, that subtle rule was lost on the Bat Rep.

Egad, are they attempting to use DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and suspense to enrapture an audience?!

Nope just stupidity

The chaos one was quite excessive too, at least around 600pts worth of stuff needed there will only a bit of it still alive at the end.

Well, that was...entertaining might be the word. At least they seemed to be having fun.

Still...Boyz Mobs without Klaws? Against a T6 gigamechaterminator? Wonders never cease .

By the end of it I was expecting to read "Next up was 3 wraithlords, but incidentally, the owner forgot to roll for the assault phase so we just ignored it."

Oh dear - terrible matchups. I also imagine they tactically forgot to look at various dice and had to roll them again in order to get the right result... erm... I mean to ensure that the tests were "fair"...

What's this?
The [new model released this month] is so great because it beat the crap out of [older not so cool, but don't forget to buy, model that's significantly weak against the new model released this month] so much we should buy at least 3?



It's not surprising to see, but entertaining and likely does the job of getting the model sold. Otherwise they probably wouldn't do it, right?

Just pondering how viable it'll be to make my Tyranids into a Counts-As Grey Knights army. :(

You should do it
Stick pictures of faces on the necks of the nids, like when people wear those costumes, and say the GK's are disguising themselves to bamboozle the xenos.
The GK's need a comedy angle to lift them above the dour image people have of them.

That or they could borrow Clint Eastwoo...
oh wait...

My personal favourite line from the previous one was this

"Now, those puritans amongst you will cry and stamp your feet with outrage that a Grey Knight (a very pure, untainted Grey Knight) would ever carry a daemonic sword - what madness is this? But then, it actually does make sense when you think about it. It can't be destroyed, nor can it be hidden - the Daemon will call out to someone somewhere. Instead, it is entrusted to a warrior that cannot be corrupted by Chaos, who is effectively immune to its influence. That warrior is Castellan Crowe."

Oh yeah it makes sense now, I wasn't thinking about it before but now that I did it makes absolute sense because theres a picture of a monkey above all that.

Ian Sturrock wrote:Just pondering how viable it'll be to make my Tyranids into a Counts-As Grey Knights army. :(

You know, ever since the rumors of the Dreadknight started flying, I began to think the same thing

SilverMK2 wrote:Oh dear - terrible matchups. I also imagine they tactically forgot to look at various dice and had to roll them again in order to get the right result... erm... I mean to ensure that the tests were "fair"...

You seem cynical and jaded. But, are you cynical and jaded enough?

I don't think you are, or else you'd see the real truth behind GW's battle reports: They aren't from actual games. They are 100% fiction.

Grakmar wrote:

SilverMK2 wrote:Oh dear - terrible matchups. I also imagine they tactically forgot to look at various dice and had to roll them again in order to get the right result... erm... I mean to ensure that the tests were "fair"...

You seem cynical and jaded. But, are you cynical and jaded enough?

I don't think you are, or else you'd see the real truth behind GW's battle reports: They aren't from actual games. They are 100% fiction.

QFT

Fun article about people having fun inexplicably angers nerds.

plastictrees wrote:Fun article about people having fun inexplicably angers nerds.

This.

Geeze guys, they were having fun and playing around with new models. This is very Comic Book Guy "Worst What's New EVER". Chill and enjoy things once in a while.

If you have a day without posting something cynical or mean spirited about GW, you won't explode. Sometimes they just like playing with Toy Soldiers, just like us.

If it was just like us, they'd copy-paste a cookie-cutter list off the internet and the loser would kill himself in shame.

pretre wrote:

plastictrees wrote:Fun article about people having fun inexplicably angers nerds.

This.

Geeze guys, they were having fun and playing around with new models. This is very Comic Book Guy "Worst What's New EVER". Chill and enjoy things once in a while.

If you have a day without posting something cynical or mean spirited about GW, you won't explode. Sometimes they just like playing with Toy Soldiers, just like us.

Didnt know this was a hobby for them.

Grakmar wrote:

SilverMK2 wrote:Oh dear - terrible matchups. I also imagine they tactically forgot to look at various dice and had to roll them again in order to get the right result... erm... I mean to ensure that the tests were "fair"...

You seem cynical and jaded. But, are you cynical and jaded enough?

I don't think you are, or else you'd see the real truth behind GW's battle reports: They aren't from actual games. They are 100% fiction.

Just so you know the battle reports are not completly made up, the people who play each time play around 5 or 6 games and each 1 is recorded, the most interesting and capturing game is chosen for the printed battle report.

Do you think gw wuld have had their new o&g book fail in a battle report if it was completly made up ?

theonetyrant wrote:Do you think gw wuld have had their new o&g book fail in a battle report if it was completly made up ?

Yes, especially if the list didn't have enough [insert new, expensive model here] and had they had enough [new expensive model] the tides would have turned tremendously. Of course, my cynical side might be showing a little bit. They clearly didn't do Tyranids any favors despite the awesome trygon model, and obviously they made the rules for tervigons mostly good so they could capitalize on that expensive new mo-... wait...

Kirbinator wrote:

theonetyrant wrote:Do you think gw wuld have had their new o&g book fail in a battle report if it was completly made up ?

Yes, especially if the list didn't have enough [insert new, expensive model here] and had they had enough [new expensive model] the tides would have turned tremendously. Of course, my cynical side might be showing a little bit. They clearly didn't do Tyranids any favors despite the awesome trygon model, and obviously they made the rules for tervigons mostly good so they could capitalize on that expensive new mo-... wait...

They had 3 spiders and a horde of savage boyz.

They had lots of new stuff.

Fun article about people having fun inexplicably angers nerds

Geeze guys, they were having fun and playing around with new models. This is very Comic Book Guy "Worst What's New EVER". Chill and enjoy things once in a while.

If you have a day without posting something cynical or mean spirited about GW, you won't explode. Sometimes they just like playing with Toy Soldiers, just like us.

Thank you for making me snort and guffaw the snot of derision all over the keyboard guys.

As was expressed by others in a recent thread, the What's Newspeak articles are naught but sops for the besotted and addled adoring fanbase.
Anyone else with half a braincell is gonna be cynical and take the mock out of this thinly veiled advertising pap.

I'm gonna get those Dreadnight's autographs.

How about Dreadknight Vs. Big Tanks?

How big?

Super heavy big?
Baneblade and a couple of it's variant won against the Dread knight , last time in my GW shop, DreadKnight gauntlet, although the DreadKnight killed a stompa

Yeah, lighten up a bit guys. A toy soldier being dressed up to be a better toy soldier than it actually is is hardly anything to cry about.

Personally, I've killed a DK with a laspistol and so view these 'games' with little more than mild amusement.

I like the part where it destroyed a huge unit of Orks and the Ork Player didn't bother to put a Nob with PK in his unit. Only a total N00b Ork Player would ever let this happen.

EDIT: or an Ork Player who only ever plays against infantry, I guess.

Wait wait wait wait wait... you're saying the articles on GW's website are just designed to help them sell product?