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Hi Dakka!

Found these whilst idly surfing during my break at work... Hope none of you are part of these wondrously stupid stats! (all are UK specific)

·35 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

·19 people have died in the last 10 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate!

·Uk hospitals reported 4 broken arms in 2006 after cracker pulling accidents.

·3 people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

·58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

·101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

·18 people had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

·A massive 543 people were admitted to A&E in the years 2005-06 after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

·5 people were injured in 2006 in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

·In 2000 a total of 8 people cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet!

This is a Christmas tragedy...I'll definately be more careful when testing 9v batteries.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:Hi Dakka!
·18 people had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

This is the problem with synthetics, mainly.

Wool jumpers don't burn that well. They smoulder a lot, but they don't tend to go "woof" like a dog covered in petrol (gasoline).

All of those statistics are easily explained by stupidity.

·19 people have died in the last 10 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate!

excellent

Are all these statistics just for the UK, or world wide?

Hahaha, that made me smile...almost as much as reading about the number of people who are killed from having vending machines fall over on them...


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Wow, that sounds really terrible when I read it back...

Look at it this way; the benefits that their deaths have on mankind as a whole far outweight the costs of allowing them to live and breed idiocy further into the genepool.

And, it makes for a great read!

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·35 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

Deserved it.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·19 people have died in the last 10 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate!

Easy mistake to make

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·Uk hospitals reported 4 broken arms in 2006 after cracker pulling accidents.

Sprained my shoulder once trying to pull 6 at once with my cousin.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·3 people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

Also deserved it.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

No comment.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

Im surprised its no many, many more.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·18 people had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

Idiots.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·A massive 543 people were admitted to A&E in the years 2005-06 after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

Dumbarses.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·5 people were injured in 2006 in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

Hilarious.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·In 2000 a total of 8 people cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet!

It happens.

I had to look up cracker pulling, as I had never heard of such a thing. Now I kinda wish I had before now.

Best part of them is if you take them apart and keep the cardboard strip for fun later. But then again it's the closest we get to fireworks here...

@darkcloud92, all stats are UK only. I'd hate too imagine what the worldwide stats are like!

And once again Dawinism is shown to work. I love the interesting way in which some people remove themselves from the gene-pool.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:@darkcloud92, all stats are UK only. I'd hate too imagine what the worldwide stats are like!

ya could you imagine the people mistaking decoration for food in the US? My family makes a ridiculous amount of food treats over the holidays as it is, and they are always mixed up with uneatable stuff.

n0t_u wrote:Best part of them is if you take them apart and keep the cardboard strip for fun later. But then again it's the closest we get to fireworks here...

Wait a minute. I hate to show my ignorance of other countries, but I have to do it. You guys really don't have any holidays or celebrations that call for a crap-ton of fireworks?

grayshadow87 wrote:

n0t_u wrote:Best part of them is if you take them apart and keep the cardboard strip for fun later. But then again it's the closest we get to fireworks here...

Wait a minute. I hate to show my ignorance of other countries, but I have to do it. You guys really don't have any holidays or celebrations that call for a crap-ton of fireworks?

duh 4th of july just like us...oh wait

Fireworks Night is probably the closest we get.

Kilkrazy wrote:Fireworks Night is probably the closest we get.

There is always New Years Eve as well....

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:

Kilkrazy wrote:Fireworks Night is probably the closest we get.

There is always New Years Eve as well....

Not everyone does it on New Years Eve though, it's far too cold.

Why............would one try and open a beer with their teeth? That must have come from the American south, only place that seems to make sense to me

KingCracker wrote:Why............would one try and open a beer with their teeth? That must have come from the American south, only place that seems to make sense to me

Yeah seriously. Belt buckles, car keys, door jams are all great substitutes for a bottle opener.

Or someone else's teeth.

I had no idea that the lights on a Christmas Tree are called "fairy lights" in the UK.

Monster Rain wrote:I had no idea that the lights on a Christmas Tree are called "fairy lights" in the UK.

What are they called stateside?

Azza007 wrote:Or someone else's teeth.

Indeed, why risk your own health when there's probably a plethora of aspiring idiots willing to maim themselves for alcohol?

corpsesarefun wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:I had no idea that the lights on a Christmas Tree are called "fairy lights" in the UK.

What are they called stateside?

Christmas lights.

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·Uk hospitals reported 4 broken arms in 2006 after cracker pulling accidents.

Is this a... I mean but... just huh... but... what...

Is cracker pulling some sort of sex slang involving racist black people and a white guy?

Coolyo294 wrote:

corpsesarefun wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:I had no idea that the lights on a Christmas Tree are called "fairy lights" in the UK.

What are they called stateside?

Christmas lights.

This, but I prefer fairy lights.

Makes me think of Fairy Fire, which is a fine spell in D&D.

I like fairy lights too, I can make more gay jokes about it, which makes it more useful for trolling.

As we all know, the real joy of christmas is to troll others. Usually with awkward presents.

grayshadow87 wrote:

n0t_u wrote:Best part of them is if you take them apart and keep the cardboard strip for fun later. But then again it's the closest we get to fireworks here...

Wait a minute. I hate to show my ignorance of other countries, but I have to do it. You guys really don't have any holidays or celebrations that call for a crap-ton of fireworks?

Oh, while they may let off a crap-ton of them for New Years, Chinese New Year, Azerbaijani new year, etc, we've not been allowed to play with fireworks since I were a wee tacker.
Too many idiots getting drunk and immolating themselves (and everyone else) and the wowsers banned them in most states.
It's only the two federal territories where it is legal to purchase them for private use (and you can also legally buy X rated porn over the counter in those territories, too - in other states it is either still illegal or it's in back rooms/under the counter.)

We can't even let them off for Guy Fawkes' Night.

Our "cracker night" used to be in June (when I was a kid) and I think it was connected with the "Queen's birthday" holiday weekend (Yes, I know it's not the real queen's birthday, it's what it is called).

Although I do have a small stash of possibly very unstable, very erratic fireworks in my shed at the moment. Long past their best-before dates

Melissia wrote:

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:·Uk hospitals reported 4 broken arms in 2006 after cracker pulling accidents.

Is this a... I mean but... just huh... but... what...

Is cracker pulling some sort of sex slang involving racist black people and a white guy?

A christmas cracker is a something that two people pull which makes a bang. Inside is generally a yo-yo or some other nick-nack and a terrible joke.

Oh and to respond to the christmas trolling one me and my brother have exchanged the same tin of fruit for three years running as a kind of gag present.