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"We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you.

eHarmony's patented matching system was developed after extensive research into marital satisfaction. We use each person's responses to our Relationship Questionnaire to predict the pairings of individuals that are highly likely to result in satisfying long-term relationships, based on what we learned through our research.

Unfortunately, based on responses to our questionnaire, we occasionally find situations where our matching system cannot identify high quality compatible matches, and this has happened in your case. Please understand that it is a result of our matching process and in no way reflects on you as a person or your ability to be in a happy relationship.

We apologize and regret our inability to find good matches for you. The time you spent completing our questionnaire, however, has enabled us to provide you with a free Personality Profile.. This Personality Profile lets you learn more about yourself and should provide you with valuable insights.

We wish you all the best in your search for that special someone. "

Fools... they didn't even ask me about my local meta...

Caution: PG13 Warning

I once saw a screenshot of someone who had broken eharmony. It should be floating around the interwebs somewhere.

Essentially they were denied an application, because when it came to the question 'what do you want most in a partner?', they responded with 'my d##k' which apparently is not an acceptable answer

So they basically told you that you're this guy?

I was going to post that when the thread just started, but thought it'd be too mean.

There was already a few just for this anyway...

It's a harsh image to post but I blame E-harmony, I can pretty much guarantee that if our friend djphranq dressed up all nice then went out meeting people he would find someone that matches him nicely relatively locally and yet E-harmony failed to find a match with anyone in its entire userbase.

Clearly he is too good for the average eHarmony user.

We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you.

See, any match wouldn't be good enough so they apologise for their inability.

My fiance and I filled out profiles, just to see what would happen. Yeah, we were pretty much polar opposites. Good thing I met her on Facebook


Yeah, eHarmony sucks, don't feel bad.

Just because Eharmony wasn't for you doesn't mean it sucks. I know several people who are dating/married to eharmony matches.

People are so fast to assume their own experiences are the single standard by which everything should be measured.

Yea, I have a weird habit of filling things like Eharmony out when Im bored. It told me the same thing.

n0t_u wrote:Clearly he is too good for the average eHarmony user.

We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you.

See, any match wouldn't be good enough so they apologise for their inability.

n0t_u has it correctly. Try Match.com

djphranq wrote:"We're very sorry, but our matching system is out of mana and must regenerate."

The real issue comes to light.

I want to fill out a totally fake eharmony thing that portrays me as a pathetic neckbeard with ridiculous standards.

What is your passion "Rolling d20s and killing goblerz with MagMis"
What is your favorite song "Don't eat the yellow snow, Frank Zappa"
What would you like in a woman "A banging body. pale, but not too pale. At least a D-cup, 30 inch waist or less, brunette, likes watching "House" and "red dwarf" and maybe "star trek first contact, is into regular meals of meat lovers pizza, and doesn't mind that I don't shave "

When do they do the free weekend things again?

Dakka eHarmony trolling party?

"I used to have passion then I took an arrow to the knee"

In Soviet Russia, eHarmony breaks YOU.

There was a guy on another forum that made a profile as close as he could to pre ww2 hitler.

I like art and nationalism

I answered everything completely truthfully just to test what would happen a year or so back.

I also broke it

My buddy broke it, nothing special. I suspect a lot of people on this site would probably do the same. Try OKCupid, its free and it kinda sorta works if you can get a girl to respond back to you. It worked for me, though I kinda lucked out with it

Somehow I expect that they keep their match rating high by denying anyone they think they may have a hard time matching.

I tried to fill out the thing just for grins but stopped after it said I was only 27% through after several pages of questions. No way.

I have a few friends who met on match and are married now and they seem super happy. The hitch is that everyone else we know doesn't like the person they were matched with and it has always come down to a "do you want them or us in your life?" situation. I'm not saying this is always going to be the case and the situations I've seen could well be happenstance, but has anyone else seen anything like this occur?

Yes, but it had nothing to do with a dating site.

It is called life.

To be on eHarmony, one must be fat.

I tried to fill it out, but it stopped me before I could finish with the first page of questions.

It should be noted that producing a high rate of success can be accomplished by excluding "undesirables" from the set of possible successes. Its like surveying every American's political leaning, and ignoring all people that respond "Libertarian", then claiming that there is no significant political group that is not Republican or Democrat.

I also broke it. Although I WAS imitating a useless neckbeard who's only concern was the physical attractiveness of the partner. Maybe I'll do this for real and see how many people it pops out.

Oh cool. Lots, actually. Including a cute sounding jewish girl named emily. You have to pay to message them though. Oh well. I'm not gonna pay money to talk to girls that are too old for me

How to meet a prospective mate without using an internet service:

A: Get in shape, maintain a socially acceptable level of personal hygiene.

B: Go to places where people congregate, such as bars and clubs. Talk to women. Actually, engage women in conversation and let them do most of the talking. The less you say, the better.

C: Repeat as necessary until one of them decides, against her better judgement, that you're boyfriend material.

And that was free, people.

You're welcome.

Monster Rain wrote:How to meet a prospective mate without using an internet service:

A: Get in shape, maintain a socially acceptable level of personal hygiene.

B: Go to places where people congregate, such as bars and clubs. Talk to women. Actually, engage women in conversation and let them do most of the talking. The less you say, the better.

C: Repeat as necessary until one of them decides, against her better judgement, that you're boyfriend material.

And that was free, people.

You're welcome.

Except for all the booze you have to pour into them to get them home it's really cheap. Either that or you become TFG of the bar scene.

You think you don't have to pour booze into someone you meet on eHarmony?

I beg to differ, sir!

Yeah, being "that guy" at the bar is a problem, though. Don't get too drunk, and learn to both recognize if a gal isn't interested and to accept multiple rejections without anger.

Coffee shops are also a good place to go, if you suck at dancing or can't be trusted around alcohol. Learning to dance can't hurt either.

This new thing where people are surprised that men and women flirt in bar is really odd to me.

Monster Rain wrote:You think you don't have to pour booze into someone you meet on eHarmony?

I beg to differ, sir!

Yeah, being "that guy" at the bar is a problem, though. Don't get too drunk, and learn to both recognize if a gal isn't interested and to accept multiple rejections without anger.

Coffee shops are also a good place to go, if you suck at dancing or can't be trusted around alcohol. Learning to dance can't hurt either.

Maybe not, if he wants a long term commited relationship it might show a little class if he only has 'one or two' unless shes all down for partying then its on, funnel down her mouth while making her shot gun beers like at a college frat house Just be shure to 'get some' before she passes out....unless your into that.... Canneus might have some insights into that right bro ?

What THREE things are MOST important to you?

A. Video Games

B. Alcohol

C. Condoms

Yet somehow, they found me 7 matches on there. None of which match my interests at all.....