Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

The family that actually got that check and came forward said that the receipt was doctored, and they left no such note and left an $18 tip.

This whole thing sounded pretty fishy from the beginning, I thought.

Some people just need their moment in the spotlight I guess.

 motyak wrote:
Some people just need their moment in the spotlight I guess.

Or free money from strangers as it may be, since the waitress has been accepting 'tips' from sympathetic ears.

Ugh. I hate hoaxes like this. Just blatant fraud exploiting the genuine goodwill of really nice people who don't have a suspicious bone in their body.

As soon as the "victim" starts accepting "donations" and saying "part of" the donations will go to charity I instantly get suspicious.

I've seen similar things before on various internet communities where there was some anti-rape campaigner who started attacking anything and anyone that made a joke about the subject, whipped up a huge storm of moral outrage.. and then started accepting money.

Quite a lot of money. And then started selling t-shirts with slogans on for very large sums with 10% going to womens charities (and 20% going to make and deliver the t-shirt, and the other 70% being pocketed).

And I've lost count of the number of "My little girl has cancer please help" > "I'm actually funding a sports car and a cruise" hoaxes that have cropped up over the years.

Anyone who does anything like this deserves to go to Special Hell.

Can't believe the restaurant is supporting her story instead of firing her.

Why did this get coverage in the first place? People are rude to each other all the time.

Why is she not getting fired?

Perhaps she is the most popular and successful waitress in the place, and brings in 50% more customers since the original story broke.

The report says the restaurant is doing an internal investigation. Once that is finished, they may or may not decide that she should be fired.

 Seaward wrote:
Why did this get coverage in the first place? People are rude to each other all the time.

That's what I thought too. Personally I've no problem with gay folk at all, but I don't get all bent out of shape when ignorant people say they don't agree with it. Hell, even if that family really did write that, it was about as nice as an anti gay person could have wrote it

 Medium of Death wrote:
Why is she not getting fired?

It's still not 100% clear it was a hoax. There are two possibilities:

It's possible that the couple in question 'shopped both the receipt and the credit card statement (the reporter didn't look at the statement online). Occam's Razor says this is unlikely. If it is the case I imagine the restaurant will find the original charge that was run.

OR

The waitress got pissed they called her "Dan", perceived it to be a putdown instead of an honest mistake (maybe it was, who knows, doesn't really matter for this argument), ran the receipt, tossed it, and then printed a duplicate receipt she wrote out herself and basked in outrage. She done goofed with running it for the full amount, if this was the case.


I'm leaning towards the latter because it's a lot simpler of an explanation, and because when the reporter followed up with her, her posture, tone, and face felt very similar to when I would catch my nephew in a super obvious lie when I used to babysit them. "Who broke this window"? "I.... don't know. That sucks. Wasn't me."

But technically either scenario is still possible.

 Seaward wrote:
Why did this get coverage in the first place? People are rude to each other all the time.

She allegedly lost an $18 tip. That's probably two hours pay.

 Kilkrazy wrote:
She allegedly lost an $18 tip. That's probably two hours pay.

Servers don't get tipped sometimes. It happens. It doesn't make the news.

I think your right about her posturing in the interview, just seems like she's lying. At any rate, regardless of whether or not the family had done this she acted unprofessionally. You don't air your dirty laundry infront of other potential customers. You shrug it off and get on. When somebody is rude to myself or a co-worker you just shrug it off, or goe in the back and chill for a minute. People like that are the 1% of all trade, it's better just to ignore them.

 Kilkrazy wrote:

 Seaward wrote:
Why did this get coverage in the first place? People are rude to each other all the time.

She allegedly lost an $18 tip. That's probably two hours pay.

A tip isn't pay. It's not like they took two hours wages from her. Regardless of what was said or done, people aren't obliged to tip (unless it's a policy of the premises).

 Seaward wrote:

 Kilkrazy wrote:
She allegedly lost an $18 tip. That's probably two hours pay.

Servers don't get tipped sometimes. It happens. It doesn't make the news.

But when you combine "gak happens" with "issue people care about" and "human interest" with a dash of "people that are different" you get a national news story.

So "no tip" (gak happens) with "issue people care about" (homophobia) and "human interest" (poor waitress, classic underdog) and a dash of "people that are different" (picking on those poor gays) = national news story.

Of course that equation gets amplified if it is a slow news day and/or an issue that is already trending on social media and the news want a slice of that.

Even looking at the two receipts side by side the amounts written look as though they were done by two different people.

Look at the way the number 5 is written especially. On the Merchant copy the horizontal stroke at the top of the 5 is straight, while on the Customer copy the horizontal stroke is curved upwards at the end. Even the curve is different. The curve on the Merchant copy is much rounder, whereas the curve on the customer copy is much different.

Someone took the spare receipt and faked it...

The other thing that really sucks about this if it's true, and the evidence is beginning to make seem that way, is that this will fuel the fire of bigots saying gay people like to play the victim card to move thier agenda.

Something's fishy, and I don't think it's the daily special.

 Medium of Death wrote:
I think your right about her posturing in the interview, just seems like she's lying. At any rate, regardless of whether or not the family had done this she acted unprofessionally. You don't air your dirty laundry infront of other potential customers. You shrug it off and get on. When somebody is rude to myself or a co-worker you just shrug it off, or goe in the back and chill for a minute. People like that are the 1% of all trade, it's better just to ignore them.

 Kilkrazy wrote:

 Seaward wrote:
Why did this get coverage in the first place? People are rude to each other all the time.

She allegedly lost an $18 tip. That's probably two hours pay.

A tip isn't pay. It's not like they took two hours wages from her. Regardless of what was said or done, people aren't obliged to tip (unless it's a policy of the premises).

Do British restaurants work differently? Because here, yes, a tip makes up most of a waitress's pay, and yes, that probably was 2 hours pay (assuming she was telling the truth)

I think the legal minimum wage for them is $2.50 an hour or something like that, specifically because they're assumed to make the rest in tips. I've had friends who quit working at restaurants because during slow hours they might make only 20 bucks for a days worth of work.

 MrMoustaffa wrote:

 Medium of Death wrote:
I think your right about her posturing in the interview, just seems like she's lying. At any rate, regardless of whether or not the family had done this she acted unprofessionally. You don't air your dirty laundry infront of other potential customers. You shrug it off and get on. When somebody is rude to myself or a co-worker you just shrug it off, or goe in the back and chill for a minute. People like that are the 1% of all trade, it's better just to ignore them.

 Kilkrazy wrote:

 Seaward wrote:
Why did this get coverage in the first place? People are rude to each other all the time.

She allegedly lost an $18 tip. That's probably two hours pay.

A tip isn't pay. It's not like they took two hours wages from her. Regardless of what was said or done, people aren't obliged to tip (unless it's a policy of the premises).

Do British restaurants work differently? Because here, yes, a tip makes up most of a waitress's pay, and yes, that probably was 2 hours pay (assuming she was telling the truth)

I think the legal minimum wage for them is $2.50 an hour or something like that, specifically because they're assumed to make the rest in tips. I've had friends who quit working at restaurants because during slow hours they might make only 20 bucks for a days worth of work.

I'm assuming he's a bit ignorant and British resturaunts work similarly to Australian - there's a decent minimum wage, and tips aren't really a thing. Usually in Australia there's a tip jar on the counter in smaller cafes where people frop a few dollars maybe, and in larger, more expensive resturaunts tipping the wait staff is a courtesy but not actually expected, because tips don't make up part of their wage, as their wage isn't as horrible as it is in the US.

Doubtful an $18 tip was worth 2 hours of pay. It was probably a single tip of roughly equivalent value as she got from the 3-4 other tables she was working at the same time.

A manager and the restaurant owner insisted they had the original ticket for the $93.55 charge, but would not produce the receipt for NBC 4 New York and could not explain why the family's credit card was charged for more.

That pretty much seals the hoax deal for me.

Edit: And as far as tipping goes, my opinion is I will still tip out of sheer social obligation but I see no reason why restaurants can't just go to a normal pay system with service built in to the prices. Is this really a better system somehow?

Ohoho, I love it when stories of support and solidarity like these turn out to be based on a hoax.

 Seaward wrote:
Why did this get coverage in the first place? People are rude to each other all the time.

I can't help but think that when a single incident of someone being rude to GLBT person becomes nation news, fraudulent or not, things must have come a long way.

"Good evening, my name is Lisa and I'll be your server tonight, I'm a lesbian by the way."

I mean, how else would you know right?

I think she heard about the black "server" who claimed to get a receipt calling her a n------ and no tip, who later got $10,000 worth of donations from people who heard of her experience.
That story also seemed like a hoax and I suspect we'll see more as people line up to cash in.

 Medium of Death wrote:
Why is she not getting fired?

The restaurant is wise to do a proper investigation before making any decision. People just accepting a story and acting on it is how all those donations got sent to a lady who probably doesn't deserve them.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Kilkrazy wrote:
She allegedly lost an $18 tip. That's probably two hours pay.

I'm pretty sure $18 is a long way short of what's normally considered large enough to warrant national media attention.

"Woman over-charged $19 on groceries. Returns to store to get refund."

"Man is sure there was another $20 in his wallet. Spends all morning looking for it unsuccessfully."

"Waitress misses out on tip worth $18."

 Gentleman_Jellyfish wrote:

A manager and the restaurant owner insisted they had the original ticket for the $93.55 charge, but would not produce the receipt for NBC 4 New York and could not explain why the family's credit card was charged for more.

That pretty much seals the hoax deal for me.

Edit: And as far as tipping goes, my opinion is I will still tip out of sheer social obligation but I see no reason why restaurants can't just go to a normal pay system with service built in to the prices. Is this really a better system somehow?

Every state has different laws in regards to tip and wages... So a restaurant cannot simply decide to buck the system as it would make their restaurant grossly uncompetitive if everyone else was paying 2.75 whichever as the states minimum wage with tips and some restaurant decided to pay full minimum wage and allow people to keep the tips.

Tips are wages and you can't hold it against the workers. If you don't know the local law where you eat and can't afford to tip, do not go out to eat. Period. If you don't like it, take it up with your elected officials.

When a wait staff says "my name is" don't question it. Don't make fun of it, don't joke about it, don't say " are you foreign" or something. People are sometimes downright rude like that which is why people often wait tables order "fake, socially acceptable names" because they get so annoyed by insults, jokes and other comments. She probably was pissed they basically made fun of her name being Dan, or going by Dan. She probably made a hoax, which was unacceptable, but she also probably gets a fair share of annoying or rude comments of people who balk at her name too. The video of the family who preaches "tolerance" screams to me of a cornered bigot. They seem very guarded with their words and seemed defensive about not at all possibly accepting the comments they had made May have been taken as an insult. Tolerance is not acceptance. The "I don't care what people do" is not "I accept people of all types." The faceless people in the video and the need to comment about the name don't strike me as people doing anything but begrudging tolerance.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but if you made jokes or comments about a servers name due to gender, an apology would have gone a long way. But the hoax is unacceptable and Dan should be fired.

 Gentleman_Jellyfish wrote:
Edit: And as far as tipping goes, my opinion is I will still tip out of sheer social obligation but I see no reason why restaurants can't just go to a normal pay system with service built in to the prices. Is this really a better system somehow?

I will say that the worst service I got in the US was still better than the best service I get here in Australia. Tipping certainly works to encourage excellent service.

And that isn't something inherent in US culture or anything, because outside of services where you tip, US customer service was the same or perhaps a little worse.

I mean, the system is still weird, but it's certainly got one thing going for it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

nkelsch wrote:
Every state has different laws in regards to tip and wages... So a restaurant cannot simply decide to buck the system as it would make their restaurant grossly uncompetitive if everyone else was paying 2.75 whichever as the states minimum wage with tips and some restaurant decided to pay full minimum wage and allow people to keep the tips.

A restaurant could quite easily just fix the gratuity and then capture that fixed amount in the price paid for the meal. So instead of listing a meal as $10, it is listed as "$11.50 with tip included automatically".

In regards the comments made about so much attention made over $18, for some people it's the principle of the thing, especially if egos and entitlement beliefs are involved.
Earlier this year a man was arrested for abusing the 911 system when he called police after finding out his fast food order wasn't complete.

nkelsch wrote:

 Gentleman_Jellyfish wrote:

A manager and the restaurant owner insisted they had the original ticket for the $93.55 charge, but would not produce the receipt for NBC 4 New York and could not explain why the family's credit card was charged for more.

That pretty much seals the hoax deal for me.

Edit: And as far as tipping goes, my opinion is I will still tip out of sheer social obligation but I see no reason why restaurants can't just go to a normal pay system with service built in to the prices. Is this really a better system somehow?

Every state has different laws in regards to tip and wages... So a restaurant cannot simply decide to buck the system as it would make their restaurant grossly uncompetitive if everyone else was paying 2.75 whichever as the states minimum wage with tips and some restaurant decided to pay full minimum wage and allow people to keep the tips.

Tips are wages and you can't hold it against the workers. If you don't know the local law where you eat and can't afford to tip, do not go out to eat. Period. If you don't like it, take it up with your elected officials.

When a wait staff says "my name is" don't question it. Don't make fun of it, don't joke about it, don't say " are you foreign" or something. People are sometimes downright rude like that which is why people often wait tables order "fake, socially acceptable names" because they get so annoyed by insults, jokes and other comments. She probably was pissed they basically made fun of her name being Dan, or going by Dan. She probably made a hoax, which was unacceptable, but she also probably gets a fair share of annoying or rude comments of people who balk at her name too. The video of the family who preaches "tolerance" screams to me of a cornered bigot. They seem very guarded with their words and seemed defensive about not at all possibly accepting the comments they had made May have been taken as an insult. Tolerance is not acceptance. The "I don't care what people do" is not "I accept people of all types." The faceless people in the video and the need to comment about the name don't strike me as people doing anything but begrudging tolerance.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but if you made jokes or comments about a servers name due to gender, an apology would have gone a long way. But the hoax is unacceptable and Dan should be fired.

Or. You know, maybe since her name is Dayna they simply misheard and thought it was Dan. It's not like she's overly feminine looking; she could easily be confused for an enfeminiate male.

It's because someone said something so hateful as "I don't agree with you".