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 MrMoustaffa wrote:
Worst roommate story I ever had was the girl who decided to bang her boss at the house while they were drunk. I was gone for a week to visit family so, instead of using her OWN ROOM AND BED, decided to go up to mine, bust out my comfy camping cot my dad had gifted, and screwed on it so hard it broke the poor thing. IN MY ROOM.

And this wasn't like a "oh at least she's alright looking so I won't catch anything". She definitely had something going on and the guy was from Kansas with a mullet and a trucker stache.

I still remember when I got back, the other three roommates were awkward as all get out around me and after a couple of hours got together and told me what happened. I saw red for two days (and of course she was gone during this) and was seething for weeks. When her boss found out, he felt terrible and bought me a bunch of beer as an apology. She never did anything.

To this day, when my dad asks me what happened to the cot I claim it broke on a camping trip and I couldn't fix it. That was such a nice cot too...

The dude was like if you took every Kansas stereotype and gave it life. He wasn't a bad guy though, he was just too drunk for his brain to consider " why the heck does this chick have warhammer models and an SG in her room". It's hard to explain, but when he explained it it was pretty clear he wasn't aware of what happened till it was over. Like I said, he bought beer for me later which for Kansas is apparently a sign of serious apology. He also gave me crap all the time for having family from Missouri when he was drunk (fun fact, Missouri and Kansas had a war that is partially responsible for the civil war, and they still apparently hate each other) and said "you're OK though."

As for the chick, like I said, I wouldn't have wanted her in my bed on account of it would have probably been one of those mistakes where you gotta warn future partners for years afterwards.

This was... 2 years ago I believe, when I worked in Minnesota. Haven't seen them in years, and my job ended there shortly afterwards.

That whole situation was an odd one. House was held up by carjacks, occasionally the basement would have massive amounts of sewage back up into it (thank God the land owner fixed it) and once we had a minor leak in a pipe under a sink pop off with what I can only describe as a gentle tap with a wrench, it looked like the cartoons when the pipe explodes and the cartoon character gets hit with the force of a fire hose. The house was also 30 feet from the railroad tracks, had no heating on the top floor (in Minnesota, I had days where I wore 3 layers of clothing and bundled in blankets) and we watched our neighbor get busted by a cop in our front yard for heroin and had neighbors sit on our poor without asking and watch.

That was a really odd situation. Minnesota is a weird place, every season sucks except for two weeks in the spring and fall when it's perfect, mosquito's are the state bird and can bite through fireproof pants, and the wind/humidity makes you colder than anything you can possibly imagine. And yet the people are the nicest you'll meet, and scotcharoos are like crack in rice crispy/peanut buttery/ fudgey goodness.

Now, compared to my roommates in colorado and Utah, it's still pretty weird, but there were plenty of odd situatios.. None that qualify as "roommates from hell" though. Working seasonal jobs introduces you to some really weird folk...

Wow that's really weird and yet so very interesting. It just sounds so crazy. I think Buttery may have a contender for weird stories now. I guess we'll see.

 Sgt. Vanden wrote:

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

You apologized for somebody else kicking your door in? The earlier guy was right; you MUST be Canadian!!

Your right...BC confirmed Canadian confirmed.

Like seriously, anywhere else in the world ((except maybe Sweden) Unless the Swedes were Vikings) a all out fist fight would've started.

At house Frazzled you'd get a full auto wiener dog reddening your ankles like you've never seen. Oh and that bear climbing off the sofa is really angry about you waking him up...

 Sgt. Vanden wrote:

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

You apologized for somebody else kicking your door in? The earlier guy was right; you MUST be Canadian!!

Your right...BC confirmed Canadian confirmed.

Like seriously, anywhere else in the world ((except maybe Sweden) Unless the Swedes were Vikings) a all out fist fight would've started.

I was a mid teenager. The guy beat the door down while I was on the phone to my father, who was stuck over twenty minutes away in traffic. The banging was so loud that he could hear it down the phone.
I heard the door open, and I had the choice of lock myself in the bathroom, or confront the intruder(s).
I went downstairs, was met with a guy very clearly on drugs, and I was in my pyjamas. I thought "He's going to kill me. He's very angry." so I tried to calm him down by apologising and affirming that I wasn't angry.

I'll spare us all the details on what he did then do, but "Why didn't you fight back?" was asked repeatedly, along with "You must have known him if you didn't run."
Because I didn't want to die. I didn't want my parents to have to bury me. I thought if he calmed down and got what he came in for, he would leave.

If you're looking for the chuckle, he then stole a car radio and a cast iron pepper shaker.

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

You apologized for somebody else kicking your door in? The earlier guy was right; you MUST be Canadian!!

If someone broke my door down and started screaming and running towards myself or the GF ( she might as well be my wife we have been together for 10 years but...reasons...) they would of been greeted with 5 rounds of 7.62mm from the SKS or a slug from the mossburg 500.


Not all Canadians are nice as I have been told daily from my co-workers ( I am a Ironworker by trade and am doing rebar right now VERY rough trade and yes we are ALL donkey-caves to eachother).


I haven't had many crazy roommates because mostly I hate people and have made enough money to live alone until I met "She who must be obeyed" aka "The boss of me".

I guess the craziest neighbors would of been the big black guy who was about 25, didn't work, never really saw him, but drove a Cadallic escalade and his 50 year old white cracked right out "GF". I get home from work and "She who must be obeyed" is out front of our 4 plex we lived in at the time with this skeezer skank out side, they where yelling at each other which is odd because "The boss of me" is one of the most mild non-confrontational women I have ever known in my life.

So being the guy that I am, Michael walks up to them with a smirk on my face and I asked whats going on? Well it turns out that this poor excuse for a human was made at the GF because she parked her car outside our place and didn't say hello to this 'thing' which is odd because she has never said two words to us before. The GF's father was in the hospital at the time, very sick and wasting away to nothing from cancer and I guess she just caught the GF at a very bad time ( there was a bunch of stuff going on with her 'brother' also the snake was trying to get into the GF's mom good graces because he knew the GF's father was dying and was trying to weasel his way into the money...which he eventually got but I digress) and my GF just snapped at her.

Well I break them up and this skeezer goes to slap my GF and hits me, well she goes to smack me again and I grab her hand and she says shes going to call her BF over and hes going to kill me blah blah blah. Well anyways I get them apart and get the GF inside, she cools down ( back rubs fix all problems ) and we forget about this.

About a week later I have a day off and in the after noon I notice A LOT of cop cars outside, so, I'm thinking 'og great here we go' so I look out back the SWAT Team is out there and they tell me to go inside. Well they do a search warrant on this house, kick the door in. Turns out the upstairs was a crack shack and the downstairs was a meth-lab. They pulled out about 6 guns also.

So, now that I think about it, there could of been a shoot out at my place between the SKS, the shotgun and whatever this guy had.

We moved shortly after that.