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As long as we are adding in bad neighbors....

When my wife and I were ready to buy a house we found the perfect one. It was in a neighborhood where all the homes were designed as upper-middle class homes and built in the early 1970's. Our home hadn't really been updated so it was reasonably priced. The other homes in the area were spruced-up a bit.

My wife grew up as a farm-girl, so she liked our large yard. To the west (across the street) is a vacant lot. To the northwest is a Church, everything east of us is woods despite being within city limits.

A month after we purchased our home someone bought the house to our south, and turned it into a rental home. The problem is that they converted it to hold multiple families. Multiple families of Hispanic origin and questionable immigrant status. We live in an agricultural area, and even the Government has estimated that 10% of our population is illegal.

A home meant for a single family was split up by bedrooms. Bedroom 1 was a mother, father, and two children. Bedroom 2 is a Single mother and two children. Bedroom 3 is three single guys. Bedroom 4 is a young couple. The owner attempted to put two bunk-beds and a couch in the garage and rent that out to four other single guys, but was stopped by city rental laws.

The home quickly turned from okay-looking into a trash pile, including repairs that likely don't meet codes. The gutter downpipes are PVC pipes. The siding is made of three different colors. When the air conditioning went out they gutted it and replaced it with 5 window units, while leaving the old unit sitting on my property line for 2 years.

At any given time of the day or night ethnic music that oddly sounded like polka played LOUDLY, which sucked as our master bedroom was on the southern end of our home. They had dogs that they left chained in the front yard that barked for hours, then let loose to poop on my driveway. Although I heard them speak English, when I went to ask if they could turn the music down all the sudden it was a "No Hablo". When I stated I spoke Spanish as well, they just closed the door.

There is no parking on the streets in our neighborhood, and with 8 adults and a 2-car driveway they got "inventive" with parking, which sometimes meant in my back yard.

Meanwhile their yard was 20% dirt patches, and 50% weeds, which they only mowed twice per year. In order to prevent my own infestation or erosion to my retaining wall, I had to be a midnight ninja. In the middle of the night I would spray weed killer all over their yard. After the weeds were dead, I started seeding and watering their lawn. Literally the only grass that is in their yard is what I planted.

Speaking of non-human roommates...

 cuda1179 wrote:
*snip*

If we're expanding a little bit, i can add some more weirdness along similar lines. When I started renting in Kansas, the land lord told me that the previous tenet abruptly left without saying a word one day. I thought lucky me cause the apartment was nice. For the next two years, I received mail for at least two dozen different persons, many with the same last name. Someone had been using that address for an entire extended family XD I even got a half dozen W2's the first year there.

Buttery you lead a very interesting live or you are a very good pathological liar

Never had roommates, the only story i have is in my eyes funny. when i was young i went to the local metal hangout
called "sheltur" in Brunssum, i befriended a girl, and she told me an interesting story that happened there, it was at the end
of the 80's begin 90's when piercings were not well known, she is well developed in her chest area, and some male friends were
talking to a guy, that didn't believe she had nipple piercings, at first she didn't want to show it but after egging on from her friends, the 2
went into a small hall, she lifted the front of her shirt, the guys eyes went wide and the he fainted!
I almost choked on my beer from laughing when she told me.

Lots of crazy stuff happened at that venue and i saw some wicked bands there

I'd like to think that if I was a gifted liar, I'd be able to invent better stories than having my door smeared with mayonaise and missing Dr Who for five weeks.

Because I just missed my train, you can have one that happened to my friend when he lived in Sheffield. Thus proving I do not win the worst neighbour sufferance.

He and his partner lived above a genuine Hell's Angel. And they would frequently find their nights being held up by very loud music and gatherings. But the trade off was having a very secure apartment above a scary melon-fether.
Then one day it all goes quiet. They assume he bailed on rent. Two weeks, and the smell builds up.
The apartment backs onto a butcher's shop and they go round in the last ditch hope that the smell is his issue from an unemptied refuse bin. The butcher comes back with them, says the smell is very definitely dead person.
Police arrive, break in and find the Hell's Angel sat very peacefully in his armchair with a fire axe in the back of his head. The rest of the room was just like the middle of a Friday night's drinking session.

Jesus Buttery...Leave it to you to trump all else in terms of 'fethed up stories'...

I used to doubt that story until I moved here, but there are a lot of motorcycle groups around here. Not all HA, pretty sure I've never seen them in reality. But a lot even have their crests on the corners of the pub signs, marking them as good places to meet.

And people say Australia is bad...We just have wildlife that strive to kill us, apparently everywhere else has worse humans than us...

Aussies have it easy.

Well there are like, fifteen of you per square mile. It'd be some advanced level dickery to keep up with the average douche level of most countries.

Worst neighbour I've ever gotten was some guy that threatened to kill my dog because he Barked alot. Only with the persuasion powers of my Mother did I not go over and bash his skull in with his own hand.
NOBODY THREATENS MY DOG!

Though tbh he barked alot back then...Mostly because of the family of Possums that live in both my FETH HUEG gum tree and my roof.

My dog also enjoys the taste of possums, so that didn't end very well for the family of rodents. I did midnight watches armed with a broom to stave them away. Fun times...

Feth me, I looked it up, it's not fifteen, it's less than four. You guys must have some serious bastards hidden in secluded places, just to keep it even.

XD I had no idea it was so little...The humans arn't that bad here, just now the news said there was another Croc attack, A cyclist avoiding a Kangaroo on the road got TKO'd b a truck, and a metric gak-tonne more. XD Long live Australia

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
What's that saying... "If you run into an donkey-cave in the morning, you ran into an donkey-cave. If you run into donkey-caves all day, you're the donkey-cave."
Does it also apply to weirdness?

I actually have a crazy neighbour story that isn't mine. I'll have to ask permission to share it though.

And there's the difference. Try to come into my back yard or climb my roof and you'll be looking at the business end of a 12 gauge while we wait for the police.. I know its a shocker but Frazzled don't around.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 AndrewGPaul wrote:
Thankfully, the worst I had to deal with while living with my sister was rescuing her from spiders. Like the time she got stuck on the balcony because there was a spider on the door to get back in. Or the time I came home one night at about eleven, to find a glass on the kitchen floor with a spider under it, that had been there since about half five, awaiting my return.

When we lived out in the sticks on Lake Travis our lady neighbor called me and the wife. She had a bucket in the kitchen with a "trapped spider." We carefully moved it outside and then lifted the bucket. Turns out she had trapped somene's Mexican Tarantula which is not native to the area.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican_redknee_tarantula
That four inch body and six inch legs thing is accurate. When it walked away into the grass it was like the spiders in the first Hobbit movie going through the grass. Very cool.

I hated that house. Get up at night and go to the first floor and you were guaranteed to find one or more tarantulas, wood spiders, or worst of all scorpions about. The scorpions would come at you. You'll lose your fear of spiders when scorpions are around

We've been pretty good with neighbors (maybe we were the bad neighbor-working on bikes and cars and such heh heh. We did have a cult on the block which evidently decided paying taxes was a sin. Eventually a bunch of US marshalls and IRS showed up and carted the entire group (maybe 20-30 we never saw them) off to the hoosegow. We did have the dellionaires who turned their lakehouse into half mansion/half bunker. Worse neighbors overall were in the apartments in Cali. About once a month the complex would be raided by SWAT complete with the helicopters, armored truck etc. raiding a drug house.

I take it back. We lived next to the stalker ex until we could move, interesting that the mind covered that up. I still think he broke in just to steal our rings before the wedding.



Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
I'd like to think that if I was a gifted liar, I'd be able to invent better stories than having my door smeared with mayonaise and missing Dr Who for five weeks.

Because I just missed my train, you can have one that happened to my friend when he lived in Sheffield. Thus proving I do not win the worst neighbour sufferance.

He and his partner lived above a genuine Hell's Angel. And they would frequently find their nights being held up by very loud music and gatherings. But the trade off was having a very secure apartment above a scary melon-fether.
Then one day it all goes quiet. They assume he bailed on rent. Two weeks, and the smell builds up.
The apartment backs onto a butcher's shop and they go round in the last ditch hope that the smell is his issue from an unemptied refuse bin. The butcher comes back with them, says the smell is very definitely dead person.
Police arrive, break in and find the Hell's Angel sat very peacefully in his armchair with a fire axe in the back of his head. The rest of the room was just like the middle of a Friday night's drinking session.

I don't know about the UK but here...yea I could definitely see that, or the occasional shootout.

I'm pretty sure that most people in the U.K. would be quite aggressive or put the point across if they found someone climbing their roof.
I was calm and weary at the time, and reasoned that as she was insane, nothing I could do or say would stop her, I didn't want an argument, and I didn't want to watch her do it.

My reactions to stress are possibly not typical for anyone, Brit or no. When a drug addict broke into my house after kicking the door down, I had such a reasonable conversation with him and calmed him down, that the police accused me of knowing the guy.

I'm pretty sure most people anywhere would be agressive/confused when someone climbs up on their roof without permission. It's probably not hard to do some damage to most roofs through stupidity then annoying cause of the waiting time for people to get around to fixing it.

Conversing with someone breaking into your home though, seemingly like a nice little chat over some tea, now that's mostly UK.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
I'm pretty sure that most people in the U.K. would be quite aggressive or put the point across if they found someone climbing their roof.
I was calm and weary at the time, and reasoned that as she was insane, nothing I could do or say would stop her, I didn't want an argument, and I didn't want to watch her do it.

My reactions to stress are possibly not typical for anyone, Brit or no. When a drug addict broke into my house after kicking the door down, I had such a reasonable conversation with him and calmed him down, that the police accused me of knowing the guy.

Personally knowing or being near you might be simultaneously the safest, most dangerous, most stressful, and most hilarious decision anyone could ever make.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
I'm pretty sure that most people in the U.K. would be quite aggressive or put the point across if they found someone climbing their roof.
I was calm and weary at the time, and reasoned that as she was insane, nothing I could do or say would stop her, I didn't want an argument, and I didn't want to watch her do it.

My reactions to stress are possibly not typical for anyone, Brit or no. When a drug addict broke into my house after kicking the door down, I had such a reasonable conversation with him and calmed him down, that the police accused me of knowing the guy.

Have you considered a career in Hostage Negotiation?

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
I'd like to think that if I was a gifted liar, I'd be able to invent better stories than having my door smeared with mayonaise and missing Dr Who for five weeks.

Lord knows being British like you are if you were unable to see Dr. Who for 3 more weeks you would have dropped dead.

 n0t_u wrote:


Conversing with someone breaking into your home though, seemingly like a nice little chat over some tea, now that's mostly UK.

Na that's Canadian. Not sure if he's living in the right country. It's probably why your stories are so out of place.

 Sgt. Vanden wrote:
Worst neighbour I've ever gotten was some guy that threatened to kill my dog because he Barked alot. Only with the persuasion powers of my Mother did I not go over and bash his skull in with his own hand.
NOBODY THREATENS MY DOG!

Though tbh he barked alot back then...Mostly because of the family of Possums that live in both my FETH HUEG gum tree and my roof.

My dog also enjoys the taste of possums, so that didn't end very well for the family of rodents. I did midnight watches armed with a broom to stave them away. Fun times...

Indeed don't mess with the dog.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:

 n0t_u wrote:


Conversing with someone breaking into your home though, seemingly like a nice little chat over some tea, now that's mostly UK.

Na that's Canadian. Not sure if he's living in the right country. It's probably why your stories are so out of place.

Not quite. We don't really do tea and chat It would be a beer and the hockey on TV, with conversation during the commercial breaks.

Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

You apologized for somebody else kicking your door in? The earlier guy was right; you MUST be Canadian!!

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

You apologized for somebody else kicking your door in? The earlier guy was right; you MUST be Canadian!!

Your right...BC confirmed Canadian confirmed.

Like seriously, anywhere else in the world ((except maybe Sweden) Unless the Swedes were Vikings) a all out fist fight would've started.

 Sgt. Vanden wrote:

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

You apologized for somebody else kicking your door in? The earlier guy was right; you MUST be Canadian!!

Your right...BC confirmed Canadian confirmed.

Like seriously, anywhere else in the world ((except maybe Sweden) Unless the Swedes were Vikings) a all out fist fight would've started.

Really?! Being honest I probably would've gak myself and ran. I can go over it in a step by step process if you'd like.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:

 Sgt. Vanden wrote:

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

You apologized for somebody else kicking your door in? The earlier guy was right; you MUST be Canadian!!

Your right...BC confirmed Canadian confirmed.

Like seriously, anywhere else in the world ((except maybe Sweden) Unless the Swedes were Vikings) a all out fist fight would've started.

Really?! Being honest I probably would've gak myself and ran. I can go over it in a step by step process if you'd like.

Go ahead, I'll go into my step-by-step thought process afterwards too.

Mine's a simple 3-step thing:

Step 1: Scream
Step 2: Beg for my life
Step 3: Pass out

 Sgt. Vanden wrote:

 flamingkillamajig wrote:

 Sgt. Vanden wrote:

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Well the guy kicked my door in, splitting the paint and doorframe from the bolt, and screamed for someone who didn't live there (or exist). My first move was to apologise and ask if I could help.

You apologized for somebody else kicking your door in? The earlier guy was right; you MUST be Canadian!!

Your right...BC confirmed Canadian confirmed.

Like seriously, anywhere else in the world ((except maybe Sweden) Unless the Swedes were Vikings) a all out fist fight would've started.

Really?! Being honest I probably would've gak myself and ran. I can go over it in a step by step process if you'd like.

Go ahead, I'll go into my step-by-step thought process afterwards too.

I'll go grab some popcorn.

Well, one kinda relatable story I have about someone breaking in was one a very very long time ago.

I was asleep in my room, heard a crash come from where my cousin was staying the night, get up, rush over there as fast as I could while trying to avoid stepping hastly placed furniture. Arrive to the room to see a pair of people climbing out of the window. My cousin is crying saying they took his PS1 and the gakky ass TV we plopped in the room. i do the first thing that pops into my mind, being jump out the window after them. I chase them about a hundred metres before catching up to the slower of the two. Tackle him, pry the PS1 out of his hands and smash him over the head with it. It shatters and I realise my mistake. I then get up and continue to chase the last person, who I eventually catch after a about another minute of hard sprinting. Run up beside him, push him into a fence and take the T.V. out of his hands. Take him by the collar and drag him over to his acomplice, who is still lying on the ground crying like a pansy. Place the T.V. on the ground before dragging the two back to my house and getting my mum to call the cops. I got a couple of weird faces from the cops after I told them what I did. I failed to mention the breaking of the PS1 and said that it broke when the guy fell down. I then had to trek back down the street to get my T.V., walk back to my house and go to sleep.

Moral of the story; Break-ins leave a sour taste in my mouth. So my reaction to somebody trampling my beautiful garden would be shoving their head through a wall, then calling the cops. The eating some watermelon.

Edit: This wasn't the right thread to post it in now was it?

Worst roommate story I ever had was the girl who decided to bang her boss at the house while they were drunk. I was gone for a week to visit family so, instead of using her OWN ROOM AND BED, decided to go up to mine, bust out my comfy camping cot my dad had gifted, and screwed on it so hard it broke the poor thing. IN MY ROOM.

And this wasn't like a "oh at least she's alright looking so I won't catch anything". She definitely had something going on and the guy was from Kansas with a mullet and a trucker stache.

I still remember when I got back, the other three roommates were awkward as all get out around me and after a couple of hours got together and told me what happened. I saw red for two days (and of course she was gone during this) and was seething for weeks. When her boss found out, he felt terrible and bought me a bunch of beer as an apology. She never did anything.

To this day, when my dad asks me what happened to the cot I claim it broke on a camping trip and I couldn't fix it. That was such a nice cot too...

@MrMoustaffa: Funny but if I were you I'd have wanted to kill her. I had a similar event happen with a previous roommate. We mostly moved out of my room while I was away for a month or so on a camping trip. Apparently a d-bag roommate let his friend and his friend's girlfriend or sex partner bang on the bed I had left. Oddly I changed which room I slept on but one of my other roommate's told me. Honestly I don't completely care that the roommate in question is a heroin user and may very well be dead right now for all I know.

Btw is this girl and her boss like massive redneck, dukes of hazard style white trash or is this more like 'squeal like a piggy!' redneck white trash?

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
@MrMoustaffa: Funny but if I were you I'd have wanted to kill her. I had a similar event happen with a previous roommate. We mostly moved out of my room while I was away for a month or so on a camping trip. Apparently a d-bag roommate let his friend and his friend's girlfriend or sex partner bang on the bed I had left. Oddly I changed which room I slept on but one of my other roommate's told me. Honestly I don't completely care that the roommate in question is a heroin user and may very well be dead right now for all I know.

Btw is this girl and her boss like massive redneck, dukes of hazard style white trash or is this more like 'squeal like a piggy!' redneck white trash?

If it was Dukes of Hazard I wouldn't kick Daisy out of bed for eatin' cookies