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A group of us got together a few weeks ago for a combat patrol based mini campaign. We played it out over a day, with players fighting over key objectives and attempting to reach the others side. It was Imperials Vs. Orks. Of course, we couldn't take it too seriously, so we hammed things up a bit. Here's the reports of the first half (we would have finished it in one day, but we were forced to go to the pub. Tragic, I know)
Anyway, it was some of the best fun I've had playing 40K in ages.
Ork Point of Veiw:
Advancing from the smouldering Balloon Slag of Camp Happy, the ferocious Vengaboyz overan Candy Mountain, seizing control of the Anti-Sugar Ship Laser. Meanwhile, all tuckered out from a day in the Playground, Mad Bazza's Raiders failed to capture the approach to the bridge over Troubled Waters on their first assault, but a terrible hunger for sweets pushed them through the second time, the Sweetshop's liquorice shoelaces and promises of many Gumdrops to come forcing the Speed Freak into a sugar frenzy. Advancing from theToyshop, the dyslexic HggggaaaaaaaaaW Orks who had been let down by Bazza's failure at the bridge gave up on trying to reach the Old Folks Home and instead attacked the Sugar Port. Here the Imperial Defenders stood firm, instead of crumpling like a gut-punched five year old. The Grubbly Grubbas failed to capture their approach, giving Bazza a taste of his own Failure Flavoured medicine. He didn't like it. The Grubbly Grubbas had previously failed to capture the Sugar Port, allowing the Imperials to seize it's valuable Sugar Supply lines. Thus demoted to the rank of Company Grot, Nob Markaz grumbled and attempted to sabotage Bazza's bionic leg.
Meanwhile, the unstoppable Vengaboyz continued their merciless slaughter, intend on securing Jam for all Ork Kind, and an end to the Tyranny of Marmalade. Deposing Bazza as leader in vicious personal combat, Big Mek Boom Boom lead the hordes down the slopes of Candy Mountain and into the Playschool. After a brief and bloody slaughter, milk teeth and tiny skulls decorated the play room and the Vengaboyz pressed on to their ultimate goal- The Raspberry Depot. As night fell the Orks reached it's mighty gates, and surely the fate of the sector's Jam supply hung in the balance. The Imperial troops were seen to scoff, believing they could subsist on sugar alone using the Sugar Port. However, the Techno Magi of the Machine God fear that the brave Gaurdsmen will succumb to diabetes, tooth decay and scurvy if the campaign drags on...
Imperial Point of Veiw:
In the grim shadow of Candy Mountain, there is only war. In the battle for Condiment III, mankind teeters on the brink of a future without jam. Along the banks of the Troubled Waters, vast armies clash for control of the sole bridge. Swing set after swing set melts in the fires of war as toy-wielding orks weather a veritable rain of las-fire. Even the Imperial workers remain on the front line. Candy canes are produced at one end of the sweet factory and delivered to the troops fighting at the other, to boost their energy levels. In the old folk's home, wave after wave of ravening orks throw themselves at gargantuan barricades of zimmer frames which block the very sun.
The sugarport remains in Imperial hands as hyper-active defenders throw back all assaults to keep the flotillas of sugarships flying and ensuring that no Ork craft drops it's deadly payload on the city. Porters, more machine than man, work three hundred and twenty nine hour days, pausing only to eat their own legs when the hunger grows too much.
But in the high grounds, the green menace stand triumphant. Their mek boyz sit on Candy Mountain awaiting the break in Imperial air cover which will allow them to deploy their accursed sherbet rockets. Only the bloody handprints mark the ruins of the playschool for what it once was as the Orks stand at the gates of the Raspberry Extract Depot. In the distance, the spires of the Jam Factory stand battered but intact. Can the Imperial forces end the Ork drive that threatens to plunge an entire sector into scurvy-ridden chaos? Can the Orks finally taste of the sweet sweet jam so long denied to their kind?
There is no time for peace. No respite. . No forgiveness. Absolutely no marmite. Very little bread. There is only WAR!
I'll post the conclusion on sunday, after we have finished.
Hope that was at least mildly entertaining.
(And yes, the Orks are winning. Moohahaha! I floated 3 of the armies out of my own collection. Combat patrol rocks for Orks!)
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