why no LotR novels?

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**Kid_Kyoto**

I was looking at the Black Library site the other day and noticed that although the other 2 core games have TONS of novels and even specialist games and long-dead games like Dark Future have novels one of GWs top-selling games has nothing, not even a short story anthology.

At the local book store they have the old movie novelizations (which are hard to find since they're grouped by the author's name and not with the other movie books like Star Trek and Star Wars) and what looks like a prequel book or two but next to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Battletech they have nothing.

Maybe the guy they hired to do the movie novelizations is too slow or something but I bet Dan Abnet or Bill King could crank out some pretty fast.

What do you guys say, should we write BL and tell them to get on it?

**fellblade**

Curse you.

Again, I must clean the cola off my monitor.

And from out my sinuses.

And lungs!

Were you aware that it is impossible to stop laughing, even when you are choking to death?

**fellblade**

Now you've made me wonder what would happen if someone approached BL with an unsolicited manuscript of LotR fanfic... or if a thousand people approached BL with unsolicited LotR fanfic... a thousand Dakkites....

**nyarlathotep667**

They totally need to get C.S. Goto on it. That'd be like a license to print money, you know, cuz he would totally write some awesome LOTR books, and then GW could make game sets out of those too and sell them for a mint. I mean, like I read this one book by that one guy. Well, I really didn't read it, cuz it was too long and had like a dictionary in the back for all the funny words he used for simple things, like rivers and hills and forts n' stuff. I got a headache. But he wrote these other books that were really easy to read, relaxing even, but he hasn't written much since. I dunno why.

**malfred**

This is what a LOTR novel by us would look like:

**thegrognard**

Because no one but JRR can come up with such long and unpronounceable names and places?

**Hordini**

LOL. Kyoto, you may be the destroyer of boards, but I really enjoy your posts.

**Jester**

After sad but happy good-byes were said at the Grey Havens, the hobbit known as Samwise Gamgee thought, his adventures done, could find a little patch of earth to raise a family with his beloved Rose Cotton. Little did Sam know that in the darkest stifling black blackness of the land of Mordor, a terrifying malevolence emerges. The wizard Thrawn the Azure has laid claim to the remnant of Sauron's malefic armies and the help of the Nazgul Cibboath, marches toward the Shire to hunt for Skywalk... I mean Gamgee.

Bill the Pony saves younglings from packs of hungry wargs!

Hetero lifemates Gimli and Legolas open a Bed and Breakfast in Rivendell!!

Aragorn dumps his horse faced elf chick for a shield maiden of Rohan!!!

Lord of the Rings: Heir to the Eye In color.

**Abadabadoobaddon**

Posted By Kid_Kyoto on 04/18/2007 6:40 PM
At the local book store they have the old movie novelizations (which are hard to find since they're grouped by the author's name and not with the other movie books like Star Trek and Star Wars) and what looks like a prequel book or two but next to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Battletech they have nothing.

Those aren't movie novelizations! Those are the original novels that the movies are based on!!! They were written by J.R.R. Tolkien ya knucklehead!!! Don't you know anything?! They can't write more LotR novels - that would just be dumb!!!!!!!!

**H.B.M.C.**

Posted By Abadabadoobaddon on 04/18/2007 10:59 PM

Those aren't movie novelizations! Those are the original novels that the movies are based on!!! They were written by J.R.R. Tolkien ya knucklehead!!! Don't you know anything?! They can't write more LotR novels - that would just be dumb!!!!!!!!

I'm glad you said it before someone came in and said it for real...

And G.S Goto doesn't write novels. I wouldn't even really call what he does writing...

BYE

**nyarlathotep667**

Posted By H.B.M.C. on 04/19/2007 1:49 AM

And G.S Goto doesn't write novels. I wouldn't even really call what he does writing...

LIES! They woud be da bestest LOTR books EVAR! Even better than that headachey stuff that crusty old fart wrote (aside from those four easy to read ones, and even they have all sorts of long words that are weird and stuff), I mean COME ON! BL + Goto = WIN! Rite? I know I'm rite, cuz BL is known for it's hig quality reeding materialz and would nevar evar publish something that wasn't totally awesome and by totally awesome I mean really sweat.

**fellblade**

Posted By Abadabadoobaddon on 04/18/2007 10:59 PM

They can't write more LotR novels - that would just be dumb!!!!!!!!

Funny- they just made a big, splashy announcement about the new JRR Tolkein novel Children of Hurin...

<table style="FONT-SIZE: 11px; COLOR: #333333; FONT-FAMILY: verdana" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="715" border="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td valign="top" width="715"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="715" border="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td valign="bottom" align="left" width="714">

</td> <td width="1"></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center" width="714" bgcolor="#5b7061">APRIL 17-23 BOOKS : DVD : MUSIC : B&N JR. : GIFT CARDS</td> <td width="1" bgcolor="#5b7061"></td> </tr> </tbody> </table> </td> </tr> <tr> <td valign="top" width="715"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="715" border="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td valign="top" width="715" colspan="2"></td> </tr> <tr> <td valign="top" width="286"></td> <td valign="top" width="429">
The Children of Húrin by J.R.R. Tolkien,
Edited by Christopher Tolkien

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**stonefox**

I'm pretty sure I've seen BL books about LOTR before. I think they all had the "Warhammer" word somewhere in the title. And they were all totally awesome like the 40k books.

**Breotan**

putting the 'laughter' back in slaughter

I never noticed that before. Amazing what you pick up on dakka.

**RussWakelin**

Actually, a LoTR novel by the likes of us might look something like this:

Don't miss the full epic: http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=612

**jlmb_123**

Are Barnes and Noble aware that they described it as his 'first stand-alone novel in thirty years'? Have I missed some stand-alongside others that he's been churning out in the mean-time?

**Bookwrack**

There have been a few others that C. Tolkien has released since his father's demise. Where does the Silmarillion stand in things?

**StarGate**

Silmarilion If you have read it its the Prequle(sp) too every thing, It tells about the forging of the three Elf rings and Morgoth(which is describe as a huge spider like creature) and Saruan( as his Lt only mentions him for a few paragraphs as he hids out in Murkwood most of the time.) It Just give you lots and lots of background on LOTR and There and back again a hobbit tale....

Very interesting reading If you can get pass the dry parts of the book.

Its a Fluff book with lots of intersting tales and stories in there since it goes from the beginning too LOTR( touches bases on it aka chiff notes)

also there the guide too middle earth which list every known name and place in middle earth thats been any book. Kinda like MOrgoth has nine different names thur out the silmarilion but its all the same person.... Its just a meduim size book that tells you a couple of paragragh about every body, battle, equipment, weapon, town in middle earth.

FYI

**fellblade**

They should get make nice with William King and get him to re-write the Silmarillion to make it more readable and less like an Anglo-Saxon epic poem. He could have Luthien the immortal elf-maid and her human sidekick Beren. They could call it MorgothSlayer. Or maybe they should get Jack Yeovil, he's already written about an immortal chick, but she was a vampire not an elf.

**Kid_Kyoto**

Meanwhile on TMP they're still not sure if I was joking.

http://theminiaturespage.com/boards/msg.mv?id=106114

someone has to post this on the BL board... maybe if I ahve time tonight.

**Hordini**

That is so righteous. Oh please post it on the BL forums! Ooh and post it on the B&C too....oh please!

**Kid_Kyoto**

BL forums

http://forum.blacklibrary.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12433

It would be killed so fast on B&C I won't even try.

**nyarlathotep667**

Posted By Kid_Kyoto on 04/19/2007 2:48 PM

BL forums

http://forum.blacklibrary.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12433

It would be killed so fast on B&C I won't even try.

Didn't last long at all on BL either. Good grief. It's like the Eye of Terror pt. 2 with more features and even less sense of humor.

**Broon**

oh, the humanity

"Yes this was a joke... but I know a lot of the posters are from England and, as such, have great trouble recognizing satire when they see it since satire and sarcasm are uniquely American forms of humor."

reply-

"Kid Kyoto: you need to get out more, if you think the British don't appreciate satire or sarcasm - it's by no means unique to the Americans. But this isn't the place for national identity debates; I'll just point out that sarcasm isn't something easily recognisable in pure text. Tone of voice, body language, an entire array of other non-verbal cues convey this kind of meaning much better."

Plus a load more. You should explain irony to them too KK.

**Abadabadoobaddon**

Posted By Jester on 04/18/2007 10:41 PM
After sad but happy good-byes were said at the Grey Havens, the hobbit known as Samwise Gamgee thought, his adventures done, could find a little patch of earth to raise a family with his beloved Rose Cotton. Little did Sam know that in the darkest stifling black blackness of the land of Mordor, a terrifying malevolence emerges. The wizard Thrawn the Azure has laid claim to the remnant of Sauron's malefic armies and the help of the Nazgul Cibboath, marches toward the Shire to hunt for Skywalk... I mean Gamgee.

Bill the Pony saves younglings from packs of hungry wargs!

Hetero lifemates Gimli and Legolas open a Bed and Breakfast in Rivendell!!

Aragorn dumps his horse faced elf chick for a shield maiden of Rohan!!!

Lord of the Rings: Heir to the Eye In color.

Don't forget the Sauron clones! And Araagorn!

**Kid_Kyoto**

Posted By Broon on 04/19/2007 5:45 PM
oh, the humanity

"Yes this was a joke... but I know a lot of the posters are from England and, as such, have great trouble recognizing satire when they see it since satire and sarcasm are uniquely American forms of humor."

reply-

"Kid Kyoto: you need to get out more, if you think the British don't appreciate satire or sarcasm - it's by no means unique to the Americans. But this isn't the place for national identity debates; I'll just point out that sarcasm isn't something easily recognisable in pure text. Tone of voice, body language, an entire array of other non-verbal cues convey this kind of meaning much better."

Plus a load more. You should explain irony to them too KK.

I also forgot gullible was taken out of the OED.

**Kid_Kyoto**

Posted By Abadabadoobaddon on 04/19/2007 6:09 PM
Don't forget the Sauron clones! And Araagorn!

No, no, no. The next villain is totally clear.

Remember how in the flashbacks Sauron has TWO eyes, but in the present he's just one flaming eye.

Think about it.

The next books (by Dan Abnet and Gav Thrope) will tell us what happened to the other Eye of Sauron.

**Jester**

If there is anyone who can take a relatively simple story and drag it out for ten books, it's Dan Abnett.

The Eyes have it
Eye see you!
Gaffer's Eye
The Tines of Maggot
Reflections in the Dark: The Opening of Meriadoc Brandybuck
The Hunt for Lobelia's Purloined Virtue
Kill Pippin Vol. 1
Kill Pippin Vol. 2
Bury me under the Prancing Pony
The Armour of Pretense

**Hordini**

Posted By Kid_Kyoto on 04/19/2007 2:48 PM

It would be killed so fast on B&C I won't even try.

If they try to lock it just be like, "Mithril counts as power armor, LOL!"

**Jester**

Never happen. The first reply would be how the post scarred him for life, made him unappealing to his wife/girlfriend, and denied his children an education.