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I write you in the hope that the tit for tat 'irritating, talentless oik' exchange between our two great Nations might now finally come to and end in truce.

For years, it seems like our peoples have been culturally besieged. The sad fact is that this struggle has gone on so long now, I doubt either side can accurately accuse the other of the initial volley.

But now I feel I must bring this to an end with a full and frank apology for the use of our IMB (Idiot of Mass Banality) in convincing the MTV Network to expose your populace to the cretinous Russell Brand. Not even the detestable Madonna trying desperately to fit in here deserved that. The man is a cock, and it was our secret hope that you would do us a favour and dispose of him, much as we might try to expend our Nuclear Stockpile by firing it and hoping the Missiles get intercepted. What we did last weekend was wrong.

So, rather than discuss reperation, or who is to blame until we are blue in the face, and risk yet another exchange of pointless has-been, never-will-be's and hack's, I beg of you accept this Olive Branch, and let us put an end to these Horror's.

Yours,

Mad Doc Grotsnik, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

P.S. Please note Bono wasn't us. That was the Bog Irish, not the Mick Irish. We will not be held accountable for him or his band.

Its too late. As we speak a secret stealth B-3 is flying high, preparing to drop Carrot Top behind your lines. Only the insane survive Carrot Top...

Then I'm afraid that, Oh Dear Oh Dear.

We will have to deploy the Chuckle Brothers....


Yeah....that's right, foul Yankee Rebel....To Me..........To *YOU*

Oh the hamanity!

And don't think thats our last ditch.

Oh no. We still have Jimmy Saville primed and waiting.

Your move, Bunghole.

Doc, its things like this that will get me banned
you know what my views are like lol

I raise you a drunken Ron White and the Rednecks of Comedy. They will bust open a hole so that Carrigan can drive a pickup through it singing "if you're a partiot, show us your CENSORED"

As ever, our wayward Step-Child that is America tries and fails to play the Big Boy Games.

I think it's time for a Cluster Bomb of Talentless Gits Off The Telly.

Brace yourself....

Yes....yes your ungrateful FIEND! Look at them....and their faces....so smug, so proud, so unashamed of their lack of likable qualities....

My eyes! It Burns! It burns!

Recall your Stealth Bummer, and I shall cease our Sabre Rattling.

I'm pretty glad most Americans don't know who the chuckle brothers are, and that they are the spitting image of our successful WW2 warlord, general Montgomery.
Now the cat's out of the bag!

As for Russell Brand, he's a Jekyll and Hyde character. When he's in front of a camera he's a total goon, but he writes an excellent column in The Guardian every Saturday and his Radio 2 podcast is well worth a listen. I don't think he represents the average Englisman by any stretch, but he is a writer of talent and that shouldn't be overlooked.

It's just a shame that all our girlfriends like him for different reasons

No, Russell Brand is just an unfunny twonk with his head firmly up his own arse.

Anyone who believes Comedy is 90% shock is inherently not funny.

I'll take him over Alan Carr any day...

Until your nation elects the village idiot iz algood.

jfrazell wrote:Its too late. As we speak a secret stealth B-3 is flying high, preparing to drop Carrot Top behind your lines. Only the insane survive Carrot Top...

It will be raining (oh yes it will!), we shall see your so call stealth bomber and hide all our humourous props before he arrives. Your Mr Carrot Top will be powerless.

We thank the secret double agent Peter Griffin.

Unfortunately the US has a commedian that can defend its shores from the UK lame comedian invasion...

Unfortunately he's in an alternate universe in the early 80's, and dead...

The Comedian.


And watch the language guys.

You made me do this...you pushed it too far man...

EAT THIS!



It's a Bobby Davro bomb!

Just when you thought it was safe...







Think of the children Cheggers!

Just remember America....

It's almost Panto season here in the UK...and that means all the sad little Z List and lower Bottom Feeding 'Celebs' will be out to play.....

You have been warned.