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My beard's name is frank. Frank wants a section in my novel that i'm going to write over the next year. Mainly as a comic relief section, of course. Frank is, however, schizophrenic. Thus the question: Good idea or bad idea?

In shorter: Frank the schizophrenic beard in naziland a bad/good/hilarious idea?

There are no good ideas or bad ideas, it's all in the execution.

That said.

Very, very bad idea. At least one I wouldn't be interested in reading.

PS Captain Communism? Really?

By beard, do you mean a pretend girlfriend whom you keep around to disguise the fact that you are gay?

Or do you mean your actual beard composed of hairs growing on your chin?

uhh... killkrazy, I actually has a real girlfriend. and who the hell said I was gay/what the hell gave you that idea? This is starting to look like a flame thread, i can tell. close down please.

And it actually was a beard composed of hairs on my chin. I thought it would be a hilarious thing to do; have him narrate the story through the eyes of someone who is schizophrenic, and thus sees it in a very VERY different light. but, kyoto killed that. I hope he's happy.

PS: Yes, really. Captain Communism. If you have a problem with that, bear in mind A: I am not actually a communist, and B: even if I was, freedom of speech protects my beliefs.

Dude. You're writing a comedy novel yes? So you reckon to have a sense of humour eh? Have a re-read of this thread and engage it.

Beard is slang for a girlfriend who is a cover for a gay man.
I believe the word for a lesbians cover boyfriend is merkin though I could be wrong.
That's what caused Kilkrazy's confusion. I think it is honest confusion and not a flame.

If you ask for criticism you should be ready to take it. If all you wanted was praise there was no point in asking for opinions, just ask us to tell you you're great.

As to the idea, I'd need to know more about how surreal the rest of the book is. A sentient beard is a pretty wierd idea.

A call to close this thread down for flaming. Now THAT, dear sir, is a laugh-riot. Dakka has never actually caused me to LOL before. This thread was a first. Now my kids want to read it too. Look at what you've done.

Greebynog wins the thread.

There is a fine line between constructive criticism and, well, being a jerk. criticism is giving evidence as to why you think, in this case, an idea is, as kyoto put it, a "Very, very bad idea. At least one I wouldn't be interested in reading." no evidence as to why it would be, simply put: "a bad idea," makes me think this person is being a jerk. Now then, killkrazy referencing my sexual orientation is probably one of the worst ways of criticizing me. In fact, it simply does not. If he was indeed trying to be sarcastic, i may have overreacted, but still, sarcasm is not one of those things that translates very well over the internets. none the less, I'm not one to ask for something to be closed for nothing, but since I apparently I somehow missed his sarcasm, perhaps no, it shouldn't be closed down. Let me compare it to this situation, however: would you say F** you to a teacher, and expect him to take it as sarcasm? This is pretty much the same situation.

I can't speak for Kilkrazy but I got the honest impression that he was asking a real question, not intending insult or being sarcastic. From his posting history I really wouldn't expect if of him.

Hmm a nazist beard, why not, write it in see how it goes, if its bad cut it, good keep it in. All in all Good idea me thinks

I think the man that lives in "red" China has every right to question your name, freedom of speech does not fly over there....

Also Talking beard = Dumb

Also you are ripping off someone else's slowed idea (unless you are a flash programmer)

http://www.2flashgames.com/f/f-Hello-Fred-The-Beard-4038.htm

it wouldn't be a nazist beard, simply a beard in naziland... and i've never seen that ever before... and it wouldn't be anything like that; the only similarities would be that they're both beards. and the beard wouldn't be talking, just narrating (IE, thinking.) also, why question me now, and not any time before? (in relation to mr. kyoto) and furthermore, why not in private message format? and I wasn't questioning his sarcasm, I was questioning Mr. Krazy's.

Killkrazy's post doesn't sound flamish. You said the beard had a
name. It's logical to think that you meant it was a person. Beard
is slang for a type of person.

Too bad it's December. You could have finished this novel in time
for NaNoWriMo.

Oh feth, you do that gak too? My wife keeps trying to get me to do that every year. Of course, she's still trying to crank out 50k herself in November as well. She says I could be a better writer than her since I'm a better lier.

Too lazy to do it.

Hello CaptainCommunism,

I apologise for having annoyed you. It was completely unintended.

I wasn't flaming you. I was genuinely enquiring about the concept of a beard of the type of which I posted.

The idea of a beard of hairs being schizophrenic seemed very off the wall, whereas a beard (pretend girlfriend) being schizophrenic is much more likely.

Homosexuality being banned under Nazism, it is very likely that gay men and women would keep each other around as disguises.

I have no idea of your sexual orientation and I don't care. I don't consider gay to be an insult. I was using the "you" in its modern sense of "one".

Anyway, back to literary criticism.

The device of a sentient body part at odds with its owner has been used before as a comedic device with a tinge of horror. The body part is usually something like a hand, that can act. The beard will be a new spin on the concept.

Perhaps the beard has become schizophrenic because it can do nothing but observe, and cannot communicate. It gets trimmed or shaved which is a mutilation -- perhaps this affects its thinking.

You should consider the social ramifications of beard wearing during different eras. A beard could signify a sailor or explorer, barbarian, artist or bohemian depending on the social milieu. This will affect your main character.

I don't know how you will establish the character of the beard as separate to its wearer. That will be very important to the understanding of the story.

Overall, the idea has potential and will need careful handling to make it a success.

THANK YOU KILLKRAZY!

that's the kind of response I was looking for!
and I apologize for overreacting/misinterperating.

CaptainCommunsism wrote:

PS: Yes, really. Captain Communism. If you have a problem with that, bear in mind A: I am not actually a communist, and B: even if I was, freedom of speech protects my beliefs.

Well let's see... So you're not actually a communist, that's nice. Why call yourself Captain Communist then? If someone's calling himself Captain Republican, Captain Nazi or Captain Confederacy I'd assume he's in favor of those groups.

And freedom of speech protects my right to question those views. Stalemate there.

Anyway living here I don't see why anyone would find communism funny. People go to jail and are killed for challenging the communist party's line. The estimated number of people killed by communism is in the 100s of millions in China alone. Things are freer now, maybe freer than they've ever been but to steal a line from Robert Grifford's China Road 'the bird cage has become an aviary'. A lot bigger a lot nicer but it still has bars.

So yeah, why would anyone want to be called Captain Communism? Especially if you're not a communist?

because it's a play on captain capitalism. that's why.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/269846
for more information.

I understand your vehement opposition against communism. I'm against the chinese government myself. But that doesn't mean I can't like some aspects of the communist ideal. will we ever get there? no. or at least, not within my lifetime. I can accept that all regimes that are on the extremes have committed atrocities. I don't like that. If you would like to continue discussion, PM me.

I feel a communism/capitalism debate coming on...not good for anyone. Long story short, they both end in the same place.

indeed; keep this out of this thread. i can deal with that in my message box.

My question is: did you intentionally misspell communism?

Nope In fact, I only just realized it about a month ago.

I think a novel where in a beard (false girlfriend to hide one's homosexuality) and a gay man are in support of Nazism or Communism would be a much better read. Maybe slightly more on the serious side. The novel could be about gay love and how the gay community in some made up place is very underground. A twist could be that the gay man with the beard is actually some type of political figure, fiercely fighting his homosexuality to lead his people in what he truly believes is the proper direction. Sounds quite romantic and wonderful. Maybe the beard herself isn't a lesbian, just a woman who really cares for the main character or his cause. Only being his beard to hide his dark secret to keep him from destroying the integrity of his political party.

I'd buy that and a copy for a friend or two.

I like the idea of Nazi, sentient beard quietly observing the actions of it’s human, desperately wanting to inform on him at every possible opportunity, but unable to because, well, it’s a beard and can’t talk. I have no idea what that point of the story would be, or how many jokes you could generate, but it’s a funny starting point.

In the immortal words of Mauleed, one of the Old Gods of Dakka..

"You know you're doing something when you make strangers hate you over the internet".

I miss that dude

What the hecck ever happended to him? Move on to adulthood, no time for toy soldiers anymore?

I'm confused, is there a need to close this thread at this point? other than "where's Ed" I don't have a clue what this thread is about. Well if I'm not closing it I'm going to post my new acquisitition anyway

Where is Ed anyway? I see on Facebook.

He pops up occasionally on the Warmonger club forum, and on the forums for the Colonial and Crossroads Warhammer Indy GTs. He’s pretty busy with life, but still playing Warhammer. He’s recently made one or two comments indicating he might be trying out 5th ed 40k too. His most recent Warhammer army is a gorgeous (by painting standards) monstrosity (by comp standards). He still plays to win, and nowadays he definitely paints to win too. I nearly voted for him as Player’s Choice at The Colonial.

Here are some shots, including his Archlector on War Altar converted using a steam tank.
http://thecolonialgt.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1268