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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/01 06:58:09
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Mutilatin' Mad Dok
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This is a story i made while in Texas its all about the Holy Pie in the sky.
The holy Pie created all living things and non living things. earth we are on) The Holy Pie's attempt to make an earth did not turn out as The Pie wanted to. The earth was a savage and horrible where the evil warlords fought for power. The Holy Pie was sad that his earth was going down the pooper, so The Holy Pie sent his only son Jebus to stop the corruption in Earth.
The power might of Jebus destroyed all the evil in earth and transfered the evil power to him self. Jebus became UltraJeus and took control over the earth. Becoming overpowered UltraJebus created a empire where countless of cities destroyed in his name. Holy Pie looking upon his son's distreatment to earth decided to stop him. The holy Pie went to his once great Earth to see that it was worse then when the pie made it. The Holy pie walked to his UltraJebus palace, looking at the walls of the palace, he saw pictures of UltraJebus's conquests. The Pie knew that Jebus did not have enough power to take over the entrie earth, he was working with some one else.
It turns out that Jebus had a deal with The Devil Cake. The two struck a deal that if The Devil Cake gave Jebus more power jebus would become The Devils apprentice. the Holy Pie Killed Jebus's honor Guards and opened the door to the dinning room. In the room were Jebus, the Devil Cake, and General Cookie eating Bread and wine. When General cookie saw Holy Pie, he pulled out his sword and was ready to strike at The Pie. Then with a single hand movement General cookie began to crumble. The Holy Pie sits at one edge of the table, Jebus in the Middle, And the Devil Pie at the other edge.
The three looked at each other as if nothing has happened, Then Jebus says quietly "Hello father may i ask why you are here." "I am here to stop you from turning my world into a hellhole" the Pie says back to his once loyal son. laughing Devil Cake gets up and says retortly "we have created a great world here you see. A world without you." Holy Pie gives Jebus one last chance to come back to his side but Jebus refuses " sorry father my loyalty is with the devil" he says to Pie. The holy Pie yells out in anger as the two exit the room " i will see to it that you will die in my HANDS!." More honor guard came and circled the Holy Pie "Fools" he said as he was ready to attack.
With swift hand motions one of the honor guard imploded as others watched in horror. Then the Holy Pie fired lighting bolts from the tips of his finger and fried all of them to a small pile of ashes. The Devil Cake called all his forces to attack The holy Pie at once. The Devils army was large to large for The Holy Pie to fight by himself, so he called angel's food to help Pie in this battle.The Pie stepped on the roof of the palace, he saw below the Devil army getting prepared for the biggest war Earth has ever known.
As the Holy Pie saw light in the dark sky, his forces haved arived. He leaped of the roof in to the heart of the army screaming " FOR THE PIE!." Ultra Jebus and the Devil yelled ATTACK to their forces. Pie landed right where he wanted, he took out thousands out of the Billions Jebus's army but Jebus did not care his eyes were locked on his father. The Holy army was taking a great amount of damage, Pie's genenral orders the army to retreat but yells out "this is our last chance to stop them never give up never surrender, we will stand and fight until we die NOW ATTACK!." What was left of the army plowed right in the center of Jebus's army. In the heart of battle Jebus saw his Father and ran to attack him. Jebus pulled out his axe and swung, Pie quickly moved out of the way and fired lighting bolts at him. Jebus fell to the ground now madder than ever, then the Devil Cake stabbed Pie with a dagger when Pie was helping a commrade. Pie fell to he knees looking at the dagger in his cest, Jebus quickly got up and sturck The Devil with a Devstating swing that killed The Devil insantly. " He was going to kill you father, so i killed him, because i wanted to kill you" Jebus said with a grin. Then with the power of GOD The Holy Pie rose up in to the air and called upon a mystical power that made the sky rain Great Metors that plumited the Battle field. When the dust settled, everything was gone. Pie fell back to earth dazzed and confused. The Holy Pie got up and saw something on the ground, it was Jebus. The Holy Pie staggered toward Jebus and grasped him in his hands. "My son why" the Holy Pie said to his son. " The Power father thats why. You know what Father you were right i am going to die in your hands."
As Jebus died The Holy Pie and Jebus acended to heaven to create a new earth.
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/03/01 07:29:43
"See a sword is a key cause when you stick it in people it unlocks their death" - Caboose
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/01 08:08:36
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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I prefer Little Debbie's fudgie bars, with a thick layer of peanut butter on top. Jeebus needs to mind his own business.
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/01 08:17:07
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Serious Squig Herder
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Is it of the turtle variant?
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blarg |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/01 09:08:34
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Pfft!!! Here we go again... Another thread ruined.
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/01 09:23:02
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Skink Chief with Poisoned Javelins
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RUINED? It has benn purifies by the steps of the followers of the Turtle Pie!
**shoots heretic in head for dramatic effect**
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One means the Mechanicum truly loses their gak, and the other means the Eldar realize that Vaul is really a toaster and experience religion fail.
Techmarine Mario and Brother Adept Luigi to the rescue !
I think it is a small fraction of Jesus worshiping Christians who have psychic powers.
Join the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie
<-- Second in Command of the Turtle Pie Guard --> |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/01 09:52:36
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Bullet bounces off thick, rubbery slimy hide. Hahaha!!!
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/01 19:23:09
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Mutilatin' Mad Dok
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I have no Idea what turtle pie is. This is a story i made up while traveling through Texas
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"See a sword is a key cause when you stick it in people it unlocks their death" - Caboose
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/03 04:12:21
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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Ultrafool wrote:I have no Idea what turtle pie is. This is a story i made up while traveling through Texas
Wow, someone with no idea what turtle pie is...we really haven't derailed enough threads lately
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Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/03 05:02:44
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Serious Squig Herder
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I think he can be taught, Yams. We should see this as an opportunity.
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blarg |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/03 05:19:23
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Shun the turtle pie!!! It leads nowhere good, only an endless downward spiral of the darkest stupidity.
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 00:53:11
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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So this is stupid?
Piedro Kantor is one of GW's oldest and most loved characters, how dare you accuse him of stupidity...apologize now!
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Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 01:10:37
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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PFFT!!!
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/03/04 01:11:19
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 02:50:34
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Committed Chaos Cult Marine
Lawrence, KS (United States)
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I have a bad feeling about this...
(By the way, it looks like Kantor is holding Pumpkin Pie, not Turtle Pie. Point proven)
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Pain is an illusion of the senses, Despair an illusion of the mind.
The Tainted - Pending
I sold most of my miniatures, and am currently working on bringing my own vision of the Four Colors of Chaos to fruition |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 03:12:52
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Chrysaor686 wrote:I have a bad feeling about this...
(By the way, it looks like Kantor is holding Pumpkin Pie, not Turtle Pie. Point proven)
He's not holding that pie, he's fondling it. That's what them church elders do, ya know.
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 03:18:21
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Virulent Space Marine dedicated to Nurgle
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Death to the false pie!!
Glory to the Turtle and the beautiful golden-brown crust!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 03:21:11
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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Chrysaor686 wrote:I have a bad feeling about this...
(By the way, it looks like Kantor is holding Pumpkin Pie, not Turtle Pie. Point proven)
Turtle Pie is the union of both Turtle and Pie, the kind of pie matters not.
So yeah, point proven...whatever your point was
I'm not an "elder", nor do I fondle pies as that would get my germs all over them and then no one would want to share their pie with me, and Piedro is about to throw the pie like a discus.
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Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 03:39:30
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Virulent Space Marine dedicated to Nurgle
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Prostrate yourselves before the almighty turtle pie!
Bow before its magnificence!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 03:59:01
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Fixture of Dakka
drinking ale on the ground like russ intended
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Now that's turtle pie!
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Logan's Great Company Oh yeah kickin' and not even bothering to take names. 2nd company 3rd company ravenguard House Navaros Forge world Lucious & Titan legion void runners 314th pie guard warboss 'ed krunchas waaaaaargh This thred needs more cow bell. Raised to acolyte of the children of the church of turtle pie by chaplain shrike 3/06/09 Help stop thread necro do not post in a thread more than a month old. "Dakkanaut" not "Dakkaite"
Join the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie To become a member pm me or another member of the Church |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 04:55:04
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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Fear the Vanilla Puddin Power!
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Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 04:58:26
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Fireknife Shas'el
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Your Vanilla Pudding Power can't compete with the awesomeness of this man's clothing.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 06:03:01
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Mutilatin' Mad Dok
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Wow
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"See a sword is a key cause when you stick it in people it unlocks their death" - Caboose
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 06:22:07
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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chaplaingrabthar wrote:
Your Vanilla Pudding Power can't compete with the awesomeness of this man's clothing.
Oh no, you got me there, oh wait, you didn't, because the man who wears those clothes loves pie just as much as I do!
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Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 07:44:21
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Skink Chief with Poisoned Javelins
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/inserts macro
ungulateman
10CAPS
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One means the Mechanicum truly loses their gak, and the other means the Eldar realize that Vaul is really a toaster and experience religion fail.
Techmarine Mario and Brother Adept Luigi to the rescue !
I think it is a small fraction of Jesus worshiping Christians who have psychic powers.
Join the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie
<-- Second in Command of the Turtle Pie Guard --> |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 09:10:46
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Fixture of Dakka
drinking ale on the ground like russ intended
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God Of Yams wrote:chaplaingrabthar wrote:
Your Vanilla Pudding Power can't compete with the awesomeness of this man's clothing.
Oh no, you got me there, oh wait, you didn't, because the man who wears those clothes loves pie just as much as I do!

He loves pudding too.
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Logan's Great Company Oh yeah kickin' and not even bothering to take names. 2nd company 3rd company ravenguard House Navaros Forge world Lucious & Titan legion void runners 314th pie guard warboss 'ed krunchas waaaaaargh This thred needs more cow bell. Raised to acolyte of the children of the church of turtle pie by chaplain shrike 3/06/09 Help stop thread necro do not post in a thread more than a month old. "Dakkanaut" not "Dakkaite"
Join the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie To become a member pm me or another member of the Church |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/04 23:51:58
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Perfect Shot Ultramarine Predator Pilot
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Saint Yams speaks wisely. The Venerable Cosby does, indeed, like pie, as evidenced by the numerous references to Pie throughout his television career ( hell, I grew up watching his show on british tv ! )
In truth, whilst The Venerable Cosby doesn't quite merit addition to the ranks of The Guardians Of Pie, I feel he should at least be considered a candidate for Gatekeeper of the Sanctified Kitchens, how say you brothers ?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/05 21:38:57
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Calculating Commissar
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Reaper6 wrote:Saint Yams speaks wisely. The Venerable Cosby does, indeed, like pie, as evidenced by the numerous references to Pie throughout his television career ( hell, I grew up watching his show on british tv ! )
In truth, whilst The Venerable Cosby doesn't quite merit addition to the ranks of The Guardians Of Pie, I feel he should at least be considered a candidate for Gatekeeper of the Sanctified Kitchens, how say you brothers ?
IT SHALL BE SO!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/06 05:01:44
Subject: Re:Holy Pie story
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Ancient Venerable Black Templar Dreadnought
Where ever the Emperor needs his eyes
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My most Pie-ous Brothers, I carry forth the long forgotten meat pie with me in this Holy Crusade.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/03/06 07:27:03
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/06 05:56:20
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Happygrunt wrote:Reaper6 wrote:Saint Yams speaks wisely. The Venerable Cosby does, indeed, like pie, as evidenced by the numerous references to Pie throughout his television career ( hell, I grew up watching his show on british tv ! )
In truth, whilst The Venerable Cosby doesn't quite merit addition to the ranks of The Guardians Of Pie, I feel he should at least be considered a candidate for Gatekeeper of the Sanctified Kitchens, how say you brothers ?
IT SHALL BE SO!
warpcrafter wrote:PFFT!!!
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/03/10 20:49:34
Subject: Holy Pie story
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Spreading the word of the Turtle Pie
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I give ye, non belivers in the Omnidessert a choice:
Pie or death!
Those who wisely choose the Pie shall bathe in its everlasting scrumptiousness. But those who choose death shall be hunted down by the...
TURTLEQUIZITION!
(Oh noez!)
Yep, the third Saint is back, and he's starting the purging!
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