What's wrong with me?

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**Lordhat**

So, I'm getting older now (33... not too old, but definitely getting there), and as I look around at others my age, I realize I'm apparently VERY abnormal. Not only do I NOT have a GF/wife and kids, I have no DESIRE for them. And YES I do like having sex with women :p . Everytime a buddy says "Nope, gotta go home to the family.", I'm thankful I don't have one of my own. I realize having a family can be very fulfilling, I get a sense of that when I visit my friends' and relatives homes, but when I leave I find I have a sense of relief, and no sense of regret, that I have no family of my own. When I think about the future, I don't think about having a family; I wonder how old I'll be before my eyesight is too poor to paint miniatures, or if I'll be too frail to get around the gaming board, and other things of that nature.

I know a LOT of people say "I never want kids!" when they're young, but most people will change their mind when they get older. I've talked to all my married friends about this, and the usual response is "I can get pussy without having to 'hunt' for it!". To me, this isn't a very good reason to put up with all the B.S. that comes with a relationship and a family. I get a LOT of harassment from my friends: "He's scared of getting laid!" Not really, I'm like any other guy, I could do with more sex, but I'm not willing to put up with the rest of what goes along with it. I've never wanted to have to "compete" to get a female's attention (I'm the same way about everything else in life, I don't see WHY people need to prove they're the best at something.); I never cared a whole lot about my physical appearance as pertains to being attractive, or doing the cool thing just to get attention from the ladies.

In short, I seem to lack the need for for private/personal human interaction that most people have. Is this a VERY rare thing like it seems, or am I a part of a smaller group of people that gets 'lost in the crowd' of the rest of the population?

**Orkeosaurus**

I don't know how rare it is.

Go on /b/ for, like, 5 minutes.

**Lordhat**

LOL I tried to go to /b/chan (or whatever it is) once. I'm not computer geek enough to figure out how to NAVIGATE that site, much less post/read on it.

**alarmingrick**

i have a friend that's the same way. hell to make it worse, he lives in his parents basement. but in all fairness to him, it's so he can pour every penny he earns into his business. i wouldn't look at it like there's something wrong with you. it's just how you are. i don't think you should label yourself defective, yet anyway!

**Greebynog**

I was the same as you untill I met my girlfriend, nothing effs up a 'I don't want/need a girlfriend' attitude like falling in love.

**TheCadianParatrooper**

Now , I'm just a kid (17) and as i get older I think to myself some things that you are but yeah 33 years of age is kinda old,young dude you have such a long time to still enjoy and prosper in the hobby and hell you might just get lucky and meet a girl whose also into it.

**Lordhat**

Greebynog wrote:I was the same as you untill I met my girlfriend, nothing effs up a 'I don't want/need a girlfriend' attitude like falling in love.

LOL everybody tells me this. It might even be true. But the fact is, I've fallen in love several times. Not once did it help me to put up with the BS of involving myself in another person's life. At the end of the day, "No BS" > "Love".

**Greebynog**

Why does there need to be BS? If you get lucky enough to find a really cool, really chilled girl, you're sorted. But at the same time, if you're happy being single, be single. Simple as that. Don't force yourself into anything.

**whatwhat**

A LOT of people fall into marriage/companionship because they think it's the thing to do, when in fact there exactly the people mariage/kids etc. were not intended for. Eventually it all feths up and they manage to screw up everyone elses lives with it. My dad is one of them people, don't be one yourself.

**grizgrin**

It's a bit of a crap shoot, I'll admit. It takes work, and it involves bad feelings. Suprises can be doozies. I never felt like I "had" to get married. Never felt pushed into it, and it suprised everyone who knew me. Everyone who'd EVER known me, which goes to show that my personal relations weren't exactly "really close" either.

I wouldn't trade it.

**warpcrafter**

I find as I get older, I have gone from actually listening to what people have to say to just waiting for them to shut the hell up because they don't have anything worthwhile to say, so you're not the only one.

**The Thousandth Son**

Hell I don't plan on having a family, it's a hell of a lot easier to support yourself while still pursuing personal interests.

**Ahtman**

Lordhat wrote:Is this a VERY rare thing like it seems

It only seems that way, but it isn't. Sorry snowflake but there are quite a few people out there like that.

**AdrianG**

Pah you bunch o' youngsters! (I'm 44, just).

I am extremely lucky to have a tolerant wife and friends of all ages who still do "geeky" stuff like 40k.
On the no kids front, you're not alone

I hate em... Except when they've been cooked in the oven and served with veg.. *Ahem*
Some people just feel more comfortable without the permanent female "hanger-on", don't fret on it.
If you felt a complete detachment from society as a whole, then perhaps you should discuss it with a medical "professional"... Though somehow I don't think you're there yet

**sexiest_hero**

I know it's great to be alone. But i remember a friend of mine who cut off all contact with his family and never dated. One day he got really sick and had nobody there for him. He died alone and nobody showed up for his funeral but 3 of his gaming buddies. the state had to burry him and nobody remembers him but me. I Settled down and got a wife and kids not soon after. They give me hell but they love the crap out of me and I know my wife will take care of me when i'm sick and remember me when I'm gone. To me living alone and then being forgotten is the worst fate ever.

**whatwhat**

An easy relationship is a false relationship. If you can't put up with the hard times then fair enough but there's a lot to be said for the phrase: "it's not where you are in life, it's the company you keep."

Obviously the issue isn't rare, they didn't invent terms like 'hermit' for nothing.

**Major Malfunction**

You know why doctors get paid so much money? Because they put up with a lot of gak and work really hard.

All the executives in Fortune 500 companies work their asses off for the millions they take home. They work even harder for a lot less to get to that point.

Olympic athletes work out harder than anyone else to be the best and get gold medals.

Being married and having kids isn't easy sometimes. My wife and kids have brought me to lows I didn't know I was capable of. It's cost money and heartache. But like the examples above, my family has also enrichened my life in ways money, gaming or glory could never, ever replace. When I look in my wife's eyes and see the love she has for me there is no amount of money that could ever buy that. When my kids succeed at their endeavors or just hug me and show me how they feel it's worth every minute, every penny and then some.

I wish this happiness for everyone and feel sorry for those that will never experience it. I thank God every day for my family.

Hey, if you're happy then that's great but for me I could never do it.

**warpcrafter**

The Green Git wrote:You know why doctors get paid so much money? Because they put up with a lot of gak and work really hard.

All the executives in Fortune 500 companies work their asses off for the millions they take home. They work even harder for a lot less to get to that point.

Olympic athletes work out harder than anyone else to be the best and get gold medals.

Being married and having kids isn't easy sometimes. My wife and kids have brought me to lows I didn't know I was capable of. It's cost money and heartache. But like the examples above, my family has also enrichened my life in ways money, gaming or glory could never, ever replace. When I look in my wife's eyes and see the love she has for me there is no amount of money that could ever buy that. When my kids succeed at their endeavors or just hug me and show me how they feel it's worth every minute, every penny and then some.

I wish this happiness for everyone and feel sorry for those that will never experience it. I thank God every day for my family.

Hey, if you're happy then that's great but for me I could never do it.

I bet you're a member of one of those homeowner's associations who goes around measuring the length of your neighbors' lawn and telling them the instant that it gets a millimeter longer than yours, which is always perfect. Face it, happy, well-adjusted people are the minority, it's the disgruntled freaks and anti-social nutcases who rule the world.

**Anung Un Rama**

warpcrafter wrote:I bet you're a member of one of those homeowner's associations who goes around measuring the length of your neighbors' lawn and telling them the instant that it gets a millimeter longer than yours, which is always perfect. Face it, happy, well-adjusted people are the minority, it's the disgruntled freaks and anti-social nutcases who rule the world.

I don't know about the minority part, but the world definetly is rules by nutcases all around. No matter if they are powerfull because they are politians, work in the media or someting different.

Altough I'm already 21, I never had a real relationship. I would like too and I would love to have kids some day, but it's not like I want to start "looking" for a girlfriend or something like that.

If you're a 33-year old singel and happy with it, then just be happy with it.

**typhus**

well at least you have a cool profile pic

**smiling Assassin**

In my opinion:

Love > Any BS that you can get from a woman.

sA

!?

"LOL everybody tells me this. It might even be true. But the fact is, I've fallen in love several times. Not once did it help me to put up with the BS of involving myself in another person's life. At the end of the day, "No BS" > "Love"."

I doubt you could truly call that 'falling in love', more so to say minor infatuations or crushes. I doubt you're in the condition to fall in love at the moment or raise a family on that matter. But, that being said, there is the possibility that you could wake up tomorrow morning a new man or some event in your life would change your perspective.

So, I'm getting older now (33... not too old, but definitely getting there)

I wonder how old I'll be before my eyesight is too poor to paint miniatures, or if I'll be too frail to get around the gaming board, and other things of that nature.

You still have, what, 50-ish years left, that's pretty long so don't worry too much about it. And you'll probably get bored of 40k by 46.

All in all you can be single, i know a few men that have been single all their life, and be happy. There is nothing wrong with that, it's just that where others want the company of women you choose otherwise. You've still got ages left anyway, don't think too much about it or you'll start getting funny ideas.
And who knows, you may even meet 'the one' and totally forget about this little rough patch in your life.

**Roze**

i agree with !? once you meet "the one" im sure your perspective will change, and while you haven't just enjoy being you! the grass is greener and all that is a lie, as long as you enjoy yourself and appreciate what you do and what you have I'm sure you'll be just fine

**namegoeshere**

Assuming you are a man, you can just leave the family till later if you like. Start panicking around 40/50

**Major Malfunction**

warpcrafter wrote:I bet you're a member of one of those homeowner's associations who goes around measuring the length of your neighbors' lawn and telling them the instant that it gets a millimeter longer than yours, which is always perfect. Face it, happy, well-adjusted people are the minority, it's the disgruntled freaks and anti-social nutcases who rule the world.

Hahahhaa... that hilarious. My back yard is overgrown and STILL has last Fall's leaves on the ground. My front yard is, to be kind, less than perfect. It's a damn good thing my neighborhood does not have a HOA because if it did, I would be public enemy #1. The only thing I don't have is a car in blocks in my driveway, and that's only because I have motorcycles in my garage.

In a way, I believe the aforementioned lawn measuring anal retentive types are the ones doomed to failure in relationships because they want everything to be perfect. Thing is, nobody and no thing is perfect so their expectations are always dashed. To succeed in the relationship business you have to go into it with proper expectations: Things *WILL* go wrong... *NOBODY* is perfect especially not YOU... Forgiveness and understanding is *EVERYTHING*.

**grizgrin**

sexiest_hero wrote:I know it's great to be alone. But i remember a friend of mine who cut off all contact with his family and never dated. One day he got really sick and had nobody there for him. He died alone and nobody showed up for his funeral but 3 of his gaming buddies. the state had to burry him and nobody remembers him but me. I Settled down and got a wife and kids not soon after. They give me hell but they love the crap out of me and I know my wife will take care of me when i'm sick and remember me when I'm gone. To me living alone and then being forgotten is the worst fate ever.

Certainly not that I support dying alone, but I think your comment merits exploration here. Why would it be such a bad thing to die alone? There is certainly a phobia of it around; people are terrified of it as if it means that you had a meaningless life or something. Anonimity =/= meaningless. But, alone or in a room with dozens of people, when it's done what do you care? You are dead. You probably won't care much. It's not like it';s something that you are oing to have to deal with long term. Dying by yourself might be scary, but I bet dying with others can be fairly scary as well. As far as not being remembered, there are very few of us who will be remembered beyond our grandchildren. 200 years from now, all of us will be dead and a fraction of a percent of us will be remembered. Of the ones who are remembered, you will either have an entry in a history textbook that children are forced to memorized (and really even that is a hell of an accomplishment, again for what benefit?), or you will be remembered by a specific group for a specific reason. End of the day, you're still dead and that's not changing. What is so important about being remembered?

**sexiest_hero**

Why is dieing alone a bad Idea? I guess for the simple fact that nobody stays healthy forever, and a heart attack or stroke, that could have been survived had someone been there, leaves yourdead and ass up in the tub for a week or two untill nombody notices the smell. Or worse you survive but are horribly crippled, and spen the reast of your days in a "retirement home" where the nurses abuse you and rob from you. At least with a family you can know you had an real impact on somebodie's life, And left something worthwile behind.