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As I sit here, watching Mars Attacks! (which nobody told me was on. GRRRR!) we naturally come to the commercial break.

And once again, I find myself irked, narked and aggravated by the mongish adverts put on.

Apparently, a new chewing gum makes you feel like your in some kind of gyroscopic torture device. Clever for a bit of flavoured gak, no?

And thats just the tip of the Iceberg. What the hell is wrong with advertisers? Random, bizarre adverts, few of which I can remember what they are actually for (thus defeating the entire point of the exercise) seem prevalent in this day and age. Either that or it's wimmin products with a load of psuedo scientific quackery tagged on to try and convince the dozy old mares that a particular product will make them young again. Which is a laugh, as they have such faith in the product the girly in the advert is rarely older than 21!

Now as I said, the problem isn't the odd nature of some ads, so much as when the company which has clearly paid an awful lot of money utterly loses it's message in the weirdness. I'd be pissed off if that happened to me!

But there are saving graces. Energiser Batteries have one on at the moment, which states high tech gear needs a high tech battery, and then explains theirs lasts longer. Brilliant. Concise and to the point. I know what the product is, and why it would benefit me. Compare and contrast with the advert of Cars pootling about the city being all hippity hop and grinding and that. What the buggeryfeth has that got to do with the Car? It tells me nothing of it's manufacturer, or it's model, or anything even vaguely useful like MPG, Tax Class etc. It just makes me go 'huh?' and be so puzzled as to what has just happened on the screen I forget completely to make a mental note of whose car it is I now intend to avoid because of their bloody stupid advert.

Anyone else get annoyed with this?

P.S.

A note to advertisers. Sex does indeed sell. This is well known, and has held true for a long number of years. Probably since we first figured out firkyfoodling is good fun. BUT, beware. There is every chance I am going to pay far more attention to the Mopsy in the Bikini than whatever it is you're trying to flog me.

P.P.S.

If anyone finds an advert trying to suggest that if you use Product X, then you will get more leg overs, and actually believes it, do the world a favour. Go home. Go into the back garden. Dig a grave. Stand in it. Fill it in. Without first getting out. You might have been a waste of carbon but I'm pretty sure we can get some nice Roses out of the whole debacle.

I know that it's only CGI but if I see that sodding Meerkat again I may well go out to Africa and shoot a few of the real ones in protest.

An irritating advert to be sure that one!

Yet effective. Ish. Again, I find so bloody annoying and overhyped that I now intend to avoid the company in question.

And that one with the 'talking heads that we didn't pay to say nice things about us honest guv' one. Mainly because it had an Emo knobend in the first round.

Whilst we're on the subject, talking heads in Adverts get up my nose as well, especially when they are pushing a film. I mean, nothing says 'we've got a stinker on our hands thats been panned by the critics' like the stench of desperation that emanates a trailer involving the ill formed opinions of the biggest morons piling out of the cinema. I mean, perhaps I've being overly cynical, but generally even an average film will still pack out it's premiere or press screening, and I don't see 3 or 4 favourable opinions, I'm looking between the lines and seeing the hundreds of people who seemingly had nothing good to say about the film piling out behind your chosen victim.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Either that or it's wimmin products with a load of psuedo scientific quackery tagged on to try and convince the dozy old mares that a particular product will make them young again. Which is a laugh, as they have such faith in the product the girly in the advert is rarely older than 21!

Actually, they're 56, but they use the product so much they look 21.

I can prove it, with a diagram of multicolored balls exploding inside your skin.

The Loan and Compensation Ad's shown during the day are utterly detestable and the 'normal' people they use look like they belong in the green room for the Jeremy Kyle show.

Take people with a history of bad credit and offer them a loan with insane interest rates. Then when they invariably fail a few payments you take away their house. Nice little earner there! How to hell do these bastards sleep at night?

Mind you they best thing to come from these compensation ad's was this cracking spoof by Peter Serafinowicz. It's based on a real advert which is quite possibly the cheapest advert I've ever seen.




I always liked this guy and thought he deserved better than to be just known as Simon Peggs ex best friend in Spaced. He's was the Voice of Darth Maul you know.

Anyway that was untill I found out that he was in a realtionship with my future wife, the lovley Sarah Alexander of Green Wing fame. The git.

And yet, I would have no other man keep her warm for me in the mean time.

What I really can't stand are ads for mobile phone applications.

A day of death calculator?

A pick-up line generator?

Games?

Why the blue feth do I need this crap on my phone? What kind of desperate agency thinks of this stuff?

i hate those guys in the sonic commercials. because of them i've decided to forgo that place until such time as their commercials don't instill rage.

Go to the US.

All morning you are spammed with TV adverts for medications to treat hypertension, constipation and diabetes, then in the evening it is either viagra in male shows or 'feminine sanitary products' in female oriented shows.
Junk food any hour.
When I was there in 2007 giant trayback trucks were all the rage and they had a heap of ads for them.

There's a few crackers on the radio at the moment:

One of the banks that our generally benevolent overlords bailed out recently is offering us free 'financial advice' to help us through the recession. Then finishes with the bizarre tag line; 'for the journey'.

Several government made ones reminding us that, shock horror, it's illegal to break the law.

Finally there's one advertising the radio station itself which, despite being based in manchester, uses American accents for 90% of its' soundbites, and southern ones for the other 10%.

Sigh.

And while I'm bitching about mobile apps, allow me to mention Love Calculators.

Oh God. Sweet Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick.

These things make me sick. Words cannot possibly express how much I loathe them. Not only is it a desperate grab at your money, it trivialises relationships. I don't need a fething phone app telling me who should be my dream partner for life with a random percentage!

Whoever thought of them originally needs to be turned inside out by their arsehole and forced to listen to Slipknot.

None of you have even touched on the worst part of these ads yet. You'll notice while you're watching your television program at a decent volume that the ads are all literally twice as loud. They can be truly deafening on a TV with a nice screen. As if the louder it is the more likely I am to buy it. I tend to hate those products for how much they hurt my ears.

Also, the creepy man from the Six Flags commercials ("More flags, more fun, Six Flags!") needs to die.

God, I hate loud commercials.

Shows either have to be on a constantly loud volume themselves (which thus limits their range of volume) or you have to suffer through loud people shouting "GETS THE STAINS OUT THE FIRST TIME!"

Orkeosaurus wrote:God, I hate loud commercials.

Shows either have to be on a constantly loud volume themselves (which thus limits their range of volume) or you have to suffer through loud people shouting "GETS THE STAINS OUT THE FIRST TIME!"

Single tear for Billy Mays.

At least we Australians don't get the staggering amount of infomercials that you have over there. We don't have ten-minute breaks to hear about the wonders of exercise machinery.

Mad Rabbit wrote:Single tear for Billy Mays.

He's the exception that proves the rule.

I think we have barry scott over here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGooQ8yYC0c

Sell the sizzle, not the sausage!

This is why we have remotes now. + I agree with wg, ads in america are ten times worse. That the only country I know of where you get ads as asimple as some complete nobody filmed with what seems like a home video camera saying: "I used this scouring pad and it was fething great *thumbs up*" in the middle of a prime time television slot.

o and that meerkat thing is awesome. simples!

You should watch Japanese TV. There are no break bumpers so you go from instantly from a programme to an advert break. Sometimes it's hard to realise you are not watching the programme any more.

A lot of the ads are 15 second kind of shouting slots, or maybe with a crappy song, and they are often instantly repeated.

You havent seen bad advertising till you've been to China. Just an hour ago they repeated the same bloody advert 3 times one after the other. And it wasn't worth watching the first time.

Alos I would like to point out that repeating it 3 times is actually quite modest. I have seen one particular advert shown 20 times in a single commercial break.

Confused.com with that annoying prat with the long black hair who raise's his voice to a high pitch whine. That guy needs to be stuck under a patio!!!

PS. I had to ask around for the name as I'd forgotton it... so that works then!

Some of the only ads(that had products that is) where the ones with billy mays. know we wont be getting any more will we.

The worst one was the Ad for Car insurance that was "sponsoring" Stargate a while back. Cause old naked men are fun to look at?

Well of course. What else could you possibly find attractive?

Cheese Elemental wrote:Well of course. What else could you possibly find attractive?

Young naked men

Well, there's always a little gem somewhere in there that makes up for the piss poor break in your program.



Aaaaaand the sequel:

Classic!

Are those Dutch TV ads?

Carlton Draught Beer makes some fantastic ads here in Oz...






And the best- FLASHBEER!

Best Ad Ever: