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[rant]

Lead in... Orks vs. Space Marines, Capture and Control, Dawn of War. I had a mob of five Nobz w/ 'eavy armour and big chopas coming straight for my tactical squad (5 strong) that was holding an objective. Thankfully, I had a dreadnought, standard build multi-melta and DCCW, that deployed close by. So I decide to try and lock up the Nobz in assault, save the tac squad and hold my objective. As long as I was the one to assault the best they could do was immobilize me. Turn 2... I managed to successfully assault the Nobz after taking one out with the multi-melta. Sweet, only four left... Here's where things went straight to hell.

Synopsis... 4 game turns of close combat, that's 8 player turns of close combat, which comes out to 17 total dice being rolled (to hit) overall. I only needed a 4+ to hit and you think out 17 freekin' dice I'd be able to at the very least land more than one hit... nope! I managed exactly that... ONE! Wait it gets better... That ONE hit that I landed with my DCCW... That ONE hit out of 17 attempts that only needed a 2+ to wound... rolled a freekin' ONE!

[/rant]

Ghazghkull Thraka assaults a land raider and destroys it, and the terminators that were inside get out, and on the following opponent turn, they assault Ghazghkull. He has a 2+ invulnerable save, is immune to instant death, and has a STR10 powerklaw.

Ghazghkull takes 7 wounds, and I roll in addition to 3 other dice. Ghazghkull dies, and my opponent falls on the floor laughing hysterically. I attempt to salvage the mess the next turn with Snikrot and his kommandos. They move onto the table and into the wreckage of the landraider, stopping 1" away from the terminators. They fire at the terminators and kill one of them, and my opponent removes the closest terminator. Snikrot's unit has move through cover, and rolls 3d6 to assault. They roll

Tau vs SM. kill points, DoW. My fire warriors were hanging back in a gun line with a few other units. Some Terminators DS in just to the right of my right flank. They came in and took out 2 FW. My turn I painted them with 3 of 7 markers lights. I used 2 to increase the BS to 5 on the near unit. So rapid fire. 20 shots. BS 5. Seven. I wanted to damn cry. I landed 10 wounds. Not one Terminator went down. It was a dark day for the greater good.

Grimpost wrote:Tau vs SM. kill points, DoW. My fire warriors were hanging back in a gun line with a few other units. Some Terminators DS in just to the right of my right flank. They came in and took out 2 FW. My turn I painted them with 3 of 7 markers lights. I used 2 to increase the BS to 5 on the near unit. So rapid fire. 20 shots. BS 5. Seven. I wanted to damn cry. I landed 10 wounds. Not one Terminator went down. It was a dark day for the greater good.

And then your crisis suits with their plasma/fusion combinations turned around and melted the terminators into liquid pools of slag, right?

Not so much. I don't use suits. That game didn't turn out well for me. Only good thing was Rail Gun caught Shrike while he was moving from one unit to the next and smote him.

oni wrote:[rant]...8 player turns of close combat, which comes out to 17 total dice being rolled (to hit) overall. ...ONE! Wait it gets better... That ONE hit that I landed with my DCCW... That ONE hit out of 17 attempts that only needed a 2+ to wound... rolled a freekin' ONE!

[/rant]

Thats bad, but I can beat that!

Atlanta GT, IG vs Iron Warriors 200...4? (Game 2) Anyway, I had 20 fresh roughriders charge into iron warriors squads, and a chaos bike unit with a champion. Both RR units had veteran sergeants, one with the medal that gave him (officer stats) 3 attacks. That was 43 I5 S5 power weapon attacks for 4 and then 3, I got 2 hits on 43 dice, they both failed to wound. Both units broke to faile morale rolls of 10 and were destroyed!

SAME TURN (earlier)

I got 2 template hits on Iron warriors squads in trees with demolishers S10 AP1, 7 wounds in one, 8 in the other, 15 x 5+ saves, should have nearly wiped both squads. He made all 15 saves on the old woods save of 5+. All of them!

Mission was table quadrants. I was slaughtered.

CHERRY ON TOP:

Guy won overall that year....

9 striking scorpians nearing a necron warrior unit.

Necron warriors (10 off I think) step forward into rapid fire range. At this stage I wasn't too worried.

Roughly 12 hits - still not worried.

9 wounds - me thinking, well there'll be casualties but nothing too bad.

9 3+ saves - I roll 8 one's and two's.

Wrecked my next turn assault.

Back in third edition, I had a unit of 10 wyches, including an agonizer wielding succubus, with the drug effect of "always strike first" charge a unit of 8 genestealers.

After 31 attacks, my opponent didn't even need to pick up his dice to make an armor save. In the return attacks, despite not getting his scything talon attacks (thus, only having 16 attacks) and my having a 4+ invulnerable save, he wiped out the entire squad of wyches.

I have had a special sort of hatred in my heart for genestealers ever since.

well this is apoc and my bane blade is shooting some space marines about 9" away with super template, I'm thinking no way that it will scatter back on me directly so that the hole is over my hull. well I roll a 12" scatter back on to myself and then proceed to penetrate myself and roll 3 sixes in a row on the superheavy table to detonate it. when it detonated, all my 20ish guardsmen died that were hiding behind it and the space marines of course were unscathed.....

haven't used the cursed vehicle since except as "moral support" for my orks during 'ard boyz

Round 3 this past weekend: deploying some daemons in round 2. I had 2 units of 6 Daemonettes and 1 unit of 9 Horrors to drop. I picked a nice open spot; there was a single Impassable tower (2" diameter) 9-10" away from my chosen drop zone, and everything else in the 12" radius circle was clear.

First unit of daemonettes scatters 9" and destroys itself via mishap on that tower.

Second unit of daemonettes scatters 10" in the exact same direction, and destroys itself via mishap on that tower.

Unit of Horrors I tried to place a little further away; it scattered 11" in that same direction, and destroyed itself via mishap on that tower.

*sigh*

My 10 man terminator squad is destroyed in one round of shooting by banshee shuriken pistols

Reminds me of this episode...from 0:20 onwards....




Couldn't resist

Mixed chaos space marines against Tau. In six turns of shooting, my Havocs, armed with lascannons only hit once, and that was a devilfish that had already dropped of its pathfinders, who then killed two of the havocs with their shooting. The next turn they were finished off by a massive Kroot unit with a bunch of kroot hounds and krootox. At least my berzerkers destroyed the battlesuits and firewarriors.

I have a real tendency to roll more ones than statistics would predict. However, in 4th edition, I ran gunline guard and included 3 lascannon heavy weapon teams with the sharpshooters doctrine. I chose this doctrine based on my uncanny ability roll ones. Amazingly, I never really rolled ones with these guys. Instead, I rolled almost exclusively 2s and 3s. Total number of hits from these lascannons in the 14 games I played with them? 1.

Assuming they only got to fire in four turns of each game, that's 168 shots (14 games x four turns x 3 HWT). So, that's an estimated 167 rolls our of 168 that were three or under, with all ones being rerolled as something less than 4 as well.

I went and watched Roesencrantz and Gildenstern Are Dead after retiring those lascannon teams...and cried quietly to myself.