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Greetings,

I am going to be soon participating in a tourney where you bring the army that your opponent will play. Yes, you read that correctly. You build up an army and try to make it as gawd awful as possible, because you'll then hand that list to your opponent and he will try to kill you with it. Meanwhile you'll be using whatever terrible army he wandered in with. The following rules are in effect;

1850 builds - build has to be within 10 points of 1850 (I suppose I could go over if I so chose...)
All Army and FOC rules have to be obeyed
You must have at least one option from each FOC

Okay, with all that in mind I decided that of the armies at my disposal, despite how much I love them and how much my usual opponents tend to claim that they are broken/cheese, I will make the worst possible DE list. Finally this 10 year old codex is looking ripe with options!

HQ

Archon
No weaponry (probably still counts as 1 CCW though) Crucible, Gruesome Talismins, Soulseeker Ammo, Webway Portal, Animus Vitae

3 Haemonculi
No weaponry (probably a CCW each though)
1 - Gruesome Talismins, Soulseeker Ammo, Webway Portal, Mask of the Damned, Plasma Grenades
2 - Gruesome Talismins, Soulseeker Ammo, Webway Portal, PG, Hell Mask
3 - Gruesome Talismins, Soulseeker Ammo, Webway Portal, PG, Hell Mask

Elite

2x 10 Mandrakes

Troops

10 man Warrior Squad w. Sybarite (No weapons (CCW?) Combat Drug Dispenser, Shadowfield, Webway Portal)
10 man Warrior Squad w. Sybarite (No Weapons (CCW?) Combat Drug Dispenser, Gruesome Talismans, Hell Mask, Soulseeker Ammo, Webway Portal)
10 man Warrior Squad w. Sybarite (No Weapons (CCW?) Combat Drug Dispenser, Gruesome Talismans, Hell Mask, Soulseeker Ammo, Webway Portal)
11 man Warrior Squad w. Sybarite (No Weapons (CCW?) Combat Drug Dispenser, Gruesome Talismans, Hell Mask, Soulseeker Ammo, Webway Portal)

Fast

10 Hellions w. Succubus (CCW, Splinter Rifle, Nightmare Doll, Plasma Grenades)

Heavy

5 Scourges w. Sybarite (CCW, Plasma Grenades, Gruesome Talismans, Hellmask, Webway Portal, Animus Vitae)

1843 Total

Now - what I like about the list is that there are 12 KPs, no armor save better then 5+ (except the Shadowfield on the Warrior Sybarite). The highest strength for CC is 4 for the Hellion's Hellglaives off the charge (also 4 for the Scourge Sybarite if he can activate the Animus Vitae). The highest shooting str is 3. The highest toughness is 4 (on 3 models).

What I dislike about the list is a potential fear that I'm giving my opponent too many troop options for objective missions. However my easy fix is to give him more Scourges, who in a build of this type actually look pretty decent with their jump packs and splinter rifles. I would love any advice to make this list worse - and if anyone has an idea for an army list that might make an even more terrible list I'd love to hear any thoughts.

Regards,
Thor.

It couldn't be that bad, it doesn't have any Lootas or Chaos Spawn in it. Go Dark Eldar!

ouch, that no weapons thing was BRUTAL...im pretty sure they actually can't make an attack then (have to check with a true DE person though.

Drop a warrior squad, id say, maybe make another scourges squad? (what do they have base?)

Here is an idea for a terrible list, why not do an all cybork body gretchin list with mad dok grotsnik? 8pt toughness 2, yes please. You could also throw thraka in there as his Waaagh doesn't affect grots...

I say give him 6x 5x Warriors squads with no weapons. Can you say KILLPOINTS!

ChristmasMarine wrote:Drop a warrior squad, id say, maybe make another scourges squad? (what do they have base?)

A jump pack and a splinter rifle (lasrifle) with a 5+ armor save. They're pretty terrible but I begrudge the granted mobility.

Warboss Gutrip wrote:Here is an idea for a terrible list, why not do an all cybork body gretchin list with mad dok grotsnik? 8pt toughness 2, yes please. You could also throw thraka in there as his Waaagh doesn't affect grots...

It seems like Thraka himself would be a fearsome tool to put in someone's hands (for instance, on my list above on the charge the Hellions would need 5s to wound him in CC, and everything else on the list would need a 6 in CC or with shooting. Thraka would then also have a 2+ armor save to any and all of those potential wounds.)

I think i read a bat rep once where some gretchin did pretty well just via weight of numbers. Still, a 30 gretchin squad with 3 base Runtherds and Cyborks does run almost 300 points each, there might be something to consider there.



Automatically Appended Next Post:

EzeKK wrote:I say give him 6x 5x Warriors squads with no weapons. Can you say KILLPOINTS!

Min Warrior squad is 10. I'm doing that and weighting them down with a *lot* of useless wargear each. I did swing 12 KPs.

That is a really entertaining idea for a tournament.

This is actually somebody else's list:

Gaunts with overpriced upgrades

Tyranid Warriors


Leave the Warriors in reserve. You now have no synapse on the table. On turn 1, half your army runs off.

Sourclams, that is a truly nasty idea. But, the opponent using the army would probably not be stupid enough to leave his warriors in reserve. The danger in this tournament is that your opponent goes one better, taking that sort of army that fundamentally doesn't work.

Obviously no-one wants to take marines/anything else where their base stats actually make them useful. So DE are the right sort of army! But you've still got bodies with rifles on the board, they could conceivably kill light infantry (which is what you should expect to face).

I think you've almost made the best choice though. Not many modern codexes have the useless wargear options, pointless units and overcosted S3 weapons that make the DE special. My only alternative suggestion would be loads of gaunts with tons of the useless upgrades (but spinefists, no good guns) and then as small and useless a synapse unit as possible. Then your opponent would have to bring a truly horrific army to stop you kamikazing the synapse and paralysing the rest of his force.

If you stick with the DE, take away 2 warrior units, put in 2 scourge units. They're just as bad as warriors, and you pay double points for mobility! (so they can use their splinter rifles! and not claim objectives! hurray!)

Seriously, what a hilarious idea for a tournament. I hope there's some next-day event where everyone actually plays with real armies.

Plasma cannon chaos dread madness with rigged dice so you fire frenzy on yourself time and again.

I assume the army you bring still has to be WYSIWYG, so the trick would be finding IC's with no weapons in hand. I like the concept of the tourney, but the day itself might be a little scary for the folks that have some pride in their models. I can't imagine handing off any of my models to anybody other than a couple of my best friends in the hobby...

Krak_kirby wrote:I assume the army you bring still has to be WYSIWYG, so the trick would be finding IC's with no weapons in hand.

My plan is, if the TO agrees they have 'no weapons', I'll just do a slap dash of a plastic warrior with a few bits to make him look like a DE Lord - and then probably just not even put arms on the figure (maybe some little nubs). Done.

I will say I'm happy with the current list that I'm not having to hand over any Raiders or Wyche units to any opponent.

I'd love this sort of tournament... finally gives me an excuse to go hog-wild with carbine firewarrior/aun'va/vespid spam...

If I was the tournemtn organiser, I'd make it so you played half the games with your army, and half with the other guys. Then they'd have to decide exactly how bad to make the list! =)

I like the mega-upgraded Gaunt idea. Make your HQ 3 Warriors with double rending and nothing else, load up 9 Biovores with all the mines, and fill the rest with 2 squads of super-expensive Hormagaunts. Abuse that No Retreat madness! Don't forget to take the 9 "fast" attack Spore Mines, by the way. Then again, you might want to nix the Biovores on the off chance 9 blasts per turn might table you and make you lose despite cranking out 9 kill points per turn for you.

haha this sounds like the most amazing tourney idea EVER

I was going to suggest playing a footslogging sisters of battle /grey knights list with assassins, penitent engines, orbital strikes and no transport, but this DE idea is just too hilarious to pass up.

Tyranids:

Biovores with frag grenades
3 Zoes with horror only
3 carnifexes with dual rending claws and thornback
3 warriors with dual rending claws
min squad of gargoyles
Max out the rest with super expensive fully loaded hormies.

Ok, here we go:

Inquisitor's of useless spam, you will rock daemons a bit, but will lose hard against everything else. Nothing is above S 3 and the frag grenades on the Storm Troopers are the only thing that have a prayer of hurting vehicles. Most saves are 6+, 23 are 4+ and 2 are 3+. All are T 3.

HQ:

2x

Inquisitor Lord w/ concentrated scrolls, Grimoire, seals, incense, tele homer, unguents, power armor, icon of the just, CCW, Auspex, Bionics
Powers: Banishment, Destroy Daemon, Sanctuary
3x Familiars, Hierophants, Sages, Acrolytes w/ Purity Seals, Tele Homer

334 points each

Elites:

3x

Inquisitor w/ concentrated scrolls, Grimoire, seals, incense, tele homer, unguents, Carapace armor, icon of the just, CCW, Auspex, Bionics
Powers: Banishment, Destroy Daemon, Sanctuary
3x Familiars, Acrolytes w/ Purity Seals, Tele Homer

250 point each

Troops:

4x

5 stormtroopers, one is a vet w/ Bionics, CCW, tele homer, storm shield, refractor field

106 points each


Total: 1842

The only "helpful" war gear in this whore army are the auspex, which is on units that cannot shoot farther than 12" anyways, Bionics, which is terrible, and the invulnerable saves thrown in, which is never better than their armor anyways and I doubt many power weapons will be seen. These storm shields are of the +4 save against one model in CC type, so no worries. I don't have the Witch Hunter's codex, so I don't know if some truly awful allied units could be taken instead of the spare storm trooper squads.

Stats:

9 KP
67 models

Worst list I've ever seen.

1 Warrior with two sets of rending claws
All the rest of the list gaunts with crazy amount of upgrades.

I, unfortuantely, lack the ability to make a Tyranid list. But it does look as though they might be a solid contender to worry about when it comes to making a terrible list.

Orks: (rough estimate is around 1850 points, and a FULL FORCE ORG!)
2x wierdboy
6x 30 gretchin w/ handlers - drop a few of these to make them more killable if there are more than 1850 points here
3x 13 burna boyz (maybe make 3 of them meks with kmb, gets hot and only one bs2 shot each) (won't fit into wagons) :
3x 3 wartrakks, 1TL rokkit, 1 big shoota, 1 skorcha on each (as ineffective as you can make them at shooting) (with red paint jobs)
3x Looted wagons, no guns, red paint jobs, boarding planks and klaws if they can take them.

The only things that can fit into the gunless wagons are the wierdboyz on their own. The only things with any actual damage output are the burnas (8" max range (discounting meks), get your target priority right and they'll never shoot), the buggies (gee, I only need S4 weapons to pop these? I think I can handle that with a scrub list), and the wierdboyz (won't hurt that bad, I promise, might even help you a lot!). Plenty of kill points to go around, if you want more, take some 6 boy choppa/slugga squads in trukks rather than gretchin. Only thing that will suck is getting them off of objectives, but what are they going to give you that can't chew up gretchin in close combat, really?

Do I win?

Canis
Logan
Ragnar
Ulrik
6x Fenrisian Wolves as Troops

That's like 1461 points, and you have no Scoring models. I'd throw in a bunch of landspeeders with heavy bolters and maybe some dreads with twin-linked heavy flamers to round out the last 400 points. The list could be murder on Orks or horde Nids, but considering you can't take an objective, it's pretty brutal.

In my opinion, the worst lists are those that can take troops who can't actually score. These lists will have a difficult time even drawing in 2 out of 3 standard missions.

Armies that come to mind:

Tyranids with Ripper Swarms as troops
Chaos Daemons with Nurglings as troops
Space Wolves with Canis and Fenrisian Wolves as troops
Orks with 2x Big Mek and 2x Deff Dread as troops


Something like this perhaps:

Big Mek (Kustom Mega-Blasta, Ammo Runt, Boss Pole, Attack Squig, 3x Grot Oiler) - 88
Big Mek (Kustom Mega-Blasta, Ammo Runt, Boss Pole, Attack Squig, 3x Grot Oiler) - 88

Deff Dread (2x Kustom Mega-Blasta, Grot Riggers, Armour Plates) - 120
Deff Dread (2x Kustom Mega-Blasta, Grot Riggers, Armour Plates) - 120

Flash Gitz (10) (Shootier, Blasta) - 350
Flash Gitz (10) (Shootier, Blasta) - 350
Flash Gitz (10) (Shootier, Blasta) - 350

Worst possible?
Chaos can probably do this.

chaos lord,
2 squads of 5 chaos space marines
then fill the rest of your army with lesser daemons.

The list has no icons, so the lesser daemons auto die.
No ONE can win an 1850 battle with just a chaos lord and 10 marines.

extrenm(54) wrote:Worst possible?
Chaos can probably do this.

chaos lord,
2 squads of 5 chaos space marines
then fill the rest of your army with lesser daemons.

The list has no icons, so the lesser daemons auto die.
No ONE can win an 1850 battle with just a chaos lord and 10 marines.

I was thinking this, but you need something from all FoC slots.

So, here's what my list would be:

Chaos Sorceror with Doombolt - 110
Non fearless

Chaos Dread with Plasma Cannon and Missile Launcher - 105
Fire Frenzy. Only 2 Str6 Attacks in CC

5 Chaos Marines - 75
5 Chaos Marines - 75
Non fearless. No upgrades. Just Pathetic.

99 Lesser Daemons in as squads of 5, except for 1 sqad of 9 - 1287
Can't be summoned, therefore auto die. 19 Kps.

3 Chaos Spawn - 120
Self explanitory (spelling?)

5 Havocs - 75
Same as CSM, but can't take objectives

Total - 1847

25 Kill Points, 2 scoring units.

Beat this

Naked Chaos Lord

2 Minimum Units of CSM.

The Rest as Summoned Lesser Daemons.

As you have no Icons, they can never show up, so you don't actually need the models for them.

Because of the weird nature of the event, make sure that the TO will go with the regular interpretation of models being destroyed that never deploy. If hes a sneaky TO he might well rule that any unit that cannot deploy in the normal way is counted as slightly differently than normal, say perhaps not counting as destroyed, or that the game map always has permanent wbe/ warp gateway from which they can deploy.
If its the first time the TO is running this kind of event then he may have left open this kind of loophole, but if hes done one before he may have it covered. Just dont be surprised if the maps all have 4 permanent warp gates that only effect game play by allowing demons to deploy through them.


Sliggoth

Gwar! wrote:Naked Chaos Lord

2 Minimum Units of CSM.

The Rest as Summoned Lesser Daemons.

As you have no Icons, they can never show up, so you don't actually need the models for them.

Need something from every FoC Slot. Sorry dude, but you were wrong!

How about a Tau army with weaponless XV8's.


Tau Empire - 1848


HQ

Aun'Va
205

Shas'o - Shield Generator, Command & Control Node, A.S.S., 2x Marker Drones, Failsafe Detonator, Ejection System
205
2x Shas'vre bodyguard - Shield Generator, Targeting array, Target lock, 2x Marker Drone
260

Elite

Shas'vre XV8 - Shield Generator, Targeting array, Target lock, 2x Marker Drone
2x Shas'ui XV8 - Shield Generator, Targetting array, Target lock, 2x Marker Drone
370

Shas'vre XV8 - Shield Generator, Targeting array, Target lock, 2x Marker Drone
2x Shas'ui XV8 - Shield Generator, Targetting array, Target lock, Marker Drone
310

Shas'vre XV8 - Shield Generator, Targeting array, Target lock, 2x Marker Drone
2x Shas'ui XV8 - Shield Generator, Targetting array, Target lock, Marker Drone
310

Troops

6x Fire Warrior - pulse carbines
60

6x Fire Warrior - pulse carbines
60

Fast

4 gun drones
48

Heavy

Sniper Drone Team
80



This has got to be the suckiest list possible. 12 CC XV8's and an Ethereal.


*edit*

Fixed to include all FOC