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NOTE: THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN INTENSE LANGUAGE (MOST OF WHICH WILL BE BLEEPED OUT) AND NOT FOLLOW THE OFFICIAL FLUFF EXACTLY. DON'T BE A COMMENTARD AND COMMENT ON THE LACK OF FLUFF, OR THE LANGUAGE BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE ANGRY MARINES ROLL AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! THIS WILL ALSO MAKE EXCESSIVE USE OF CAPS LOCK SO DON'T CALL ME A CAPSAHOLIC, I ALREADY KNOW YOU COMMENTARDS!! FINALLY, THIS STORY WILL BE LIGHT IN NATURE AND IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE LACK OF GRIMDARK THEN GO SLEEP WITH YOUR MOMMY WHILE YOU SUCK YOUR THUMB THIS IS FOR THE ANGRY MARINES!!

Anyways: ANGRY MARINES THE FIRST FREAKING CHAPTER: BREAKFAST!!
Captain A**hole woke up angrily, smashing his way out of his bed and screaming at the top of his lungs, "WAAAAAAAAKE UP YOU HARD TARDS!" while he ran screaming to brush his angry teeth. Reaching his company bathroom, he realized that it was already full and a line of 4 or 5 angry marines had formed.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS YOU s?!" The Capt. shouted, "WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN THERE? spanking OFF TO YOUR MOTHERS!?"
His shout of anger was met with even more anger (these are the Angry Marines, dammit) from within the bathroom,
"HEY HOLE WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!?" the Angry Marine using the lavatory shouted back.
So finally, fed up with all this RAGING BS, the Cap'n just rushed at the door with Power Bat in hand, and attacked it, not even using the power bat, instead punching the door with his SHEER ANGER before charging in and throwing the current occupant out. He then promptly forced the wall to rebuild itself by staring at it angrily, before realizing that he had forgotten his toothbrush. In his madness, Cap'n A**hole revealed his extra toothbrush, only the snap it into 4 pieces before making a new toothbrush out of it that was at least 12 times as angry as the original. Why 12? 'CAUSE 10 AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH AND 13 IS HERESY!

So after ANGRILY brushing his ANGRY teeth with his ANGER (purely and unadulterated, JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER) Cap'n A**hole charged into the changing areas of his company, put his Anger Armour (Re-Named from the sissy sounding "Power" Armour, originally considered name "F*** Armour" deemed heretical) on and charged into the dining hall. There he was greeted by one of the less angry Servitors of the Angry Marines.
"Excuse me Captain, what would you like for breakfast?" the servitor asked.
Of course, the Captain, being the ANGRY BADASS he is, ignored the COMPLETELY UN-ANGRY servitor, instead shouting at the assembled chapter before him.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU LAZY S IS IN CHARGE OF THE SPARE TOOTHBRUSHES!?"
"IT'S NOT ME YOU ING PIECE OF !" several marines responded back.
"WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME YOU ER!?" The Cap'n screamed, at the top of his angry lungs (the lungs themselves had been implanted with hormones to encourage angry behavior, and as such, the cap'n often had drunk brawls with his own lungs).
"Excuse me Captain, but what would you like for breakfast." the Servitor repeated once more, and once more being ignored.
"GET OVER HERE YOU EATING PRETTY MARINE! GET OVER HERE!!" Captain A**hole yelled, with a voice louder than the screams of Slaanesh.
"CALLING ME A PRETTY MARINE EH? CALLING ME A ING PRETTY MARINE?" his offender yelled back.
"Um, Captain, what would you like for breakfast?" the servitor tried to ask and unfortunately for him, this was the time the captain heard him.
"What would I like for breakfast?" he repeated almost calmly, "WHAT WOULD I LIKE FOR BREAKFAST? I'D LIKE FOR THAT NOZZLE MARINE OVER THERE TO STICK A TOOTHBRUSH SO FAR UP HIS A** THAT EVEN THE EMPEROR'S LIGHT CAN'T FIND IT! BREAKFAST!!"

...And so concludes the first part of the Angry Marine chronicles. Tune in next time to see what happens, SAME ANGRY TIME, SAME ANGRY CHANNEL!!
(This story is something I just decided to do for fun, nothing serious. If you see fluff problems, point them out, and I'll see if it matters. This IS a non-canon story about a non-canon chapter after all. The "bleeps" instead of actual swear words may be temporary, depending on how people react to the language. I may remove them and replace them with actual swear words later. And finally, this is meant to be a recurring series, so please don't complain on the length of the chapters/parts)

Well, here's me commenting.

It's not that funny...

Bit stupid to be honest but the Angry Marines are a bad concept just like the pretty marines and the hello kitty sisters of battle.

But thats because im a purist.

I actually find the Angry Marines hilarious... but that was really rather poor

Not quite funny.

I thought it was good, but mostly because I'm his friend and also because it was sorta funny. Also what are fluffs and i thought you weren't allowed 'bad language'.

Angry marines arent that funny but for some reason its very enjoyable reading about them

Meh... Not my humor I s'pose.

There was a shining light to it though. Dakka's glossary made me smile on this line.

"So finally, fed up with all this RAGING BS..."

Next time an opponent is getting great rolls or something I'm gonna feel the need to yell: "I am fed up with all this raging ballistic skill!"

No one around me will get it...

They will stare, and I will creep away silently...

ya seems rather childish honestly. My eyes couldn't really stop focuing on the censored ork heads everywhere.