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So the Big Question everyone is asking, if the Emperor allowed it, who would you be Pen pals with in the 40K Universe and Why?

My vote would be Fulgrim, he would write beautiful letters back, because he would (obviously) be the perfect pen pal. He might write back in Red Ink which would be disconcerting and probably on Human flesh paper and you probably wouldn't want to go and visit your Pen Pal but hey at least he would write back promptly.

I would suggest you use the 40K General Discussion forum for this kind of stuff.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/forums/show/69.page

Dear Mighty Emperor of Humanity,

While I have been your erstwhile pen pal for about 37 years, the 13,514 lack of responses to my letters has started to leave doubt in my mind about whether only one of us is truly committed to our strong bond of words. I understand the Imperium of Man requires the greatest endurance of mind, body, and spirit of you for it to endure. I too have a commitment. My earthworm Jim desires all my concentration at times, what with his digging dirt and fighting space crows. My button pressing fingers often yearn to guide and nurture his progress through life, espcially when he is at one life and a precariously placed laser blast would doom him to oblivion. Hopefully this parallel of our respective duties allows me to understand your silence. I could not imagine there be any reason for you not to respond, especially if it was some ludicrous reason such as you being strapped into a life sustaining device after a mortal duel with a favored son who turned to the darkside that occurred thousands of years ago. Please endeavor to respond back, as I hope to continue this correspondence tomorrow.

Your Enternally Faithful Servant of the Pen,

WarOne

WarOne thats classic!

Dear WarOne,

We at the Administratum have decided that your 13,515 letters to our Imperial Father, Bless the Holy Throne, over the past 37 years make it obvious that you are mentally disturbed and therefore a security risk to Terra from Demonic Infestation.
Therefore we require you to report to Servitor requisition facility X369 for immediate assimilation and re-assignment. If you fail to comply with this Holy order the Imperial Custodes will be dispatched to ensure a potential security breach will not occur.

Your local Administator,

MwnciBoo.

He should have written to Ask the  Space Emporer.

Dear Ezekiel Abaddon,

Why do you suck so much? You've had 13 tries at this already and you still haven't done much more then being a nuisance to Cadia. Humanity openly laughs at your pathetic attempts. They even draw you without arms just to make fun of you. I'd advise you actually do something the next time.

Your dear pen pall.

mwnciboo wrote:Dear WarOne,

We at the Administratum have decided that your 13,515 letters to our Imperial Father, Bless the Holy Throne, over the past 37 years make it obvious that you are mentally disturbed and therefore a security risk to Terra from Demonic Infestation.
Therefore we require you to report to Servitor requisition facility X369 for immediate assimilation and re-assignment. If you fail to comply with this Holy order the Imperial Custodes will be dispatched to ensure a potential security breach will not occur.

Your local Administator,

MwnciBoo.

I would suggest the Administratum rethink it's stance on the matter. Has Citizen WarOne not stated that he owns a copy of the Holiness that is Earthworm Jim, available only on the reverred Sega Genesis, blessed platform of the Omnissiah? Unless the Administratum wishes to anger the Adeptus Mechanicus, I believe it is in their best interests to cease their slander.

Dear Leman Russ,
I thought I would write to you after you recent visit. I'm glad to say the Cat has recovered somewhat but the Cross pollination you attempted resulted only in a high Vets bill. The scratch marks on the doors however are a different matter and I would request that you inform us ahead of time if you are malting. The carcass of the Caribou you presented was appreciated but if you wish to give us present in future please let me know and I would be happy to point out more suitable items.
On a more delicate manner, a large item was deposited in the Yard just before you left. It took a substantial amount of cleaning and a fair amount of bleach to shift. There is still a faint smell in the yard that continues to linger. My Mum and Dad have said you could only come back if you promise to get domesticated and to get your Flea's looked at. In return we will get 1/2 a tonne of Cat liter delivered as well as Barrell of your favourite tipple.
By the way, you left your Storm Bolter on the Sofa, I've packed it in a Jiffy Bag and went down the post office. Unfortunately it weighs over 50kg and they don't do recorded delivery to the Fang.

Anyway have a good time on Prospero,

Yours Mwnciboo.

I would probably have a Tau for a penpal.

Dear Papa Nurgle,

How are you? I am fine.
I am writing to you from either the distant past, your present or your future, you know, on account of 'chaos' and the 'warp' and all that. It is quite warm today.
I am a fan of the BBC Childrens TV series 'Jossies Giants' and Grange Hill, I think that you would like the programmes on the BBC. If you have a TV press the button marked 'BBC1' and you will be able to see the programmes that I like.

I hope you don't like Brother Beyond or Bros, they are rubbish, my sister likes them though, shes a whore. Who do you like listening too? Do you like Slade?.

If you reply please do not send anything icky back to me.

Your friend, annoying sickly child

Ah penpals

Dear Jim,
Please could you fix it for me to have my own suit of Artificer Power Armour including a Relic blade and a Bolt Pistol. The problem is that I am being bullied at school because of my pechant for Wargaming. No one seems to understand me, its so unfair. I wish I could wade through them at assembly slaughtering them and rendering them asunder with my weapons whilst I scream and laugh like a maniac. I would probably impale my sister while i was at it for all the sniping and nuggies she's given me over the years.
Once I have satisfied my initial thirst, I would set myself up as an International Assassin for hire and conduct Operations for cold hard cash. None would stand against me, HA [/size]HA HA HA!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD .

Yours Sincerely

Jamie,

Class 9B,
Birmingham Central Special needs school

Someones getting a visit...

I'd write to Tzeentch, but never understand the replies. >_>

n0t_u wrote:I'd write to Tzeentch, but never understand the replies. >_>

I can read it. But when I read it out loud, this bird guy tried to kill me.

I would write to my chapter, and how I horribly repersent them.



(Edit:damnit,wrong chaos god)

Dear Ork Boyz,

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Sincerely,

Da Warboss