Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.
Callum wrote:James Tiberius "Jim" Kirk or Jean-Luc Picard?
Jonathan Archer!
Got 40k Rules Question? Send an e-mail to Gwar! for your Confidential Rules Queries.
Please do not PM me unless really necessary. I much prefer e-mail. Need it Answered RIGHT NOW!? Ring me on Skype: "gwar.the.trolle"
Looking to play some Vassal? Ring me for a game!
Download The Unofficial FAQs by Gwar! here! (Dark Eldar Draft FAQ v1.0 released 04/Nov/2010! Download it before the Pandas eat it all!)
About a million reasons why Kirk was better than that bald Toad-boy Picard
115. There is still not a church of Picardology on the web.
114. Kirk slept naked on a bed as flat as a board. Picard wore PJs on a satin and silk draped fluffy pillow bed.
113. Kirk would have stayed with the Borg and made himself King.
112. Kirk never relied on Klingons to get him out of a fight with the Romulans.
111. Kirk got in a fight with a Gorn and won. Picard got in a fight with a spring and won.
110. On Picard's ship, Troy's place was at his side. On Kirk's ship, Troy's place would have been his lap.
109. The only time Kirk put his phaser on stun was when he was looking for sex.
108. Kirk is a leader, not a follower.
107. Kirk never got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look.
106. Kirk has sex more than once a season.
105. One Word: Hair.
104. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-WIG.
103. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed.
102. Picard is a French man with an English accent.
101. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher-- and damn the consequences!
100. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.
99. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.
98. Kirk would personally throw Wesley off his bridge.
97. Two words: Shoulder Roll.
96. Kirk doesn't wear dresses when Admirals arrive for lunch.
95. Kirk once said: "I've got a belly-ache -- and it's a beauty."
94. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis.
93. Kirk can almost drive a stick shift.
92. Kirk, almost single-handedly, repopulated the Earth's whale population.
91. Kirk says: "Prime Directive? What Prime Directive?"
90. Kirk knows 20th. Century curses.
89. Kirk was NEVER infiltrated by the Borg and used against the Federation.
88. Kirk ate little colored cubes and still remained relatively healthy.
87. Kirk made do with obviously low-performance technology.
86. Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical advantage.
85. Kirk wasn't shy about taking his shirt off -- even around those pesky Yeomans.
84. Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill.
83. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt.
82. One Word: Velour.
81. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at chess.
80. When Kirk was Picard's age, he retired from Admiral and took to climbing rocks.
79. When Picard was 37, he was only commander of the lowly freighter, Stargazer. When Kirk was 37, he was Captain of the flagship Enterprise.
78. Kirk liked a good belt of liquor every now and then.
77. One Word: Iman.
76. Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt.
75. If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he would rip off its head and gak down its neck.
74. Kirk says: "Shoot first and wait for retaliation."
73. Kirk saved the Earth in 3 TV shows and 2 movies. Picard? Not once.
72. Kirk's first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge.
71. Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out.
70. Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some old janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes.
69. Two Words: Funky Sideburns.
68. Kirk never asks his bartender for advice.
67. Kirk never once said: "Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!"
66. Kirk is not politically correct.
65. Kirk never got "dumped" by some woman for an intergalactic busy body named after a letter of the alphabet.
64. Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest.
63. If there was ever a Klingon on Kirk's bridge, Kirk would likely be dead.
62. The first Enterprise didn't have a lounge.
61. Ever hear of a bar shooter called: "Make it so?" No? How about a "Beam me up Scotty" then? See the difference?
60. One Word: Miniskirts.
59. Kirk's girlfriends always look good in soft light.
58. When Picard found humans from the 20th century, he returned them to Earth. When Kirk found humans from the 20th century, he beamed them to a hostile planet.
57. Kirk never went anywhere without a whole bunch of guys in red shirts.
56. Kirk's first officer didn't play some wimpy instrument like the trombone.
55. Kirk had more dates than his first officer.
54. The extent of Kirk's knowledge of Klingon vocabulary can be roughly translated as "GO feth YOURSELF."
53. If something doesn't speak English -- it's toast.
52. Kirk wasn't some prissy archaeology fan.
51. Picard's middle name isn't tough or awe-inspiring like Tiberius is.
50. If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up.
49. Picard has never met Joan Collins.
48. Kirk's bridge had rails made of orange-painted 2x4's.
47. Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet.
46. Picard hasn't fathered any children; Kirk -- probably millions.
45. Kirk has a cool phaser, not some pansy Braun mix-master.
44. One word: Miri.
43. Kirk would've figured out how to kill Q.
42. Two Words: Line Delivery.
41. Picard grew up on a quaint little French vineyard, squishing grapes between his toes, while Kirk slung bales of wheat and hay in Iowa to put himself through school.
40. Kirk emphasizes his orations with pertinent hand gestures.
39. Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulfur, potassium nitrate and charcoal, and fired diamonds into the heart of his enemies. (Need we say more?)
38. Kirk is not put off by green skin.
37. Kirk was out saving the galaxy when Picard's grandfather was wearing diapers.
36. Kirk knows how to deal with peace loving hippy goofs.
35. Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won.
34. Kirk drinks Romulan Ale.
33. Kirk rarely asks for suggestions. And if he does, he asks Spock only.
32. Kirk won't let his Doctor tell him what to do.
31. One Word: Fisticuffs.
30. Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy.
29. Kirk appreciates Shakespeare, but doesn't let it show.
28. You can never lock up Kirk for very long.
27. Kirk's eulogies can actually make you cry.
26. Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for resources.
25. Kirk's son would never drop out to become a musician.
24. Kirk could climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything.
23. Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses.
22. The Klingons didn't have a word for surrender -- until they met Kirk.
21. Kirk's bridge is not beige.
20. Two Words: Crane Shots.
19. Picard likes wimpy violin music -- and coerces Data into playing it.
18. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even cute things, like tribbles.
17. Kirk is a cultural icon -- Picard is just some guy who's really nice.
16. Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge.
15. Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL.
14. Kirk looks distinguished in reading glasses -- and nobody dares to call him "four eyes."
13. Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon -- easily.
12. Picard likes painting nudes, for art's sake.
11. When Kirk doesn't trust the Romulans, he fires at them. When Picard doesn't trust the Romulans, he gets fired at.
10. Kirk never once, ever, wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on shore leave.
9. Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting ensign.
8. Kirk doesn't test the engines -- he just fires them up.
7. When Kirk says "Boldly Go" he MEANS it.
6. Three Words: Flying Leg Kick.
5. Picard's crew would never think of him as a sexual object.
4. Kirk traveled through the Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even impressed.
3. Kirk's bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets.
2. Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail.
1. One Word: Balls
The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Sisko, the only human who could scare a Klingon. Yes!
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
I don't think I'll ever look at Kirk the same way again. My vote's going to Picard.
Klawz-Ramming is a subset of citrus fruit?
Gwar- "And everyone wants a bigger Spleen!"
Mercurial wrote:
I admire your aplomb and instate you as Baron of the Seas and Lord Marshall of Privateers.
Orkeosaurus wrote:Star Trek also said we'd have X-Wings by now. We all see how that prediction turned out.
Orkeosaurus, on homophobia, the nature of homosexuality, and the greatness of George Takei.
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleyways and mugs them for loose grammar.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
You know you're really doing something when you can make strangers hate you over the Internet. - Mauleed
Just remember folks. Panic. Panic all the time. It's the only way to survive, other than just being mindful, of course-but geez, that's so friggin' boring. - Aegis Grimm
Hallowed is the All Pie The Before Times: A Place That Celebrates The World That Was
KingCracker wrote:Well The Next Generation lasted from 1987–1994
The original only lasted from 1966–1969. So numbers win IMO
The numbers lie.
Without the popularity of the original cast movies(and the success of Star Wars and Close Encounters), there actually would have never BEEN a Next Generation. Read the Authorized Biography of Gene Roddenberry if you don't believe me.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/05/07 04:39:12
You know you're really doing something when you can make strangers hate you over the Internet. - Mauleed
Just remember folks. Panic. Panic all the time. It's the only way to survive, other than just being mindful, of course-but geez, that's so friggin' boring. - Aegis Grimm
Hallowed is the All Pie The Before Times: A Place That Celebrates The World That Was
KingCracker wrote:Well The Next Generation lasted from 1987–1994
The original only lasted from 1966–1969. So numbers win IMO
The numbers lie.
Without the popularity of the original cast movies(and the success of Star Wars and Close Encounters), there actually would have never BEEN a Next Generation. Read the Authorized Biography of Gene Roddenberry if you don't believe me.
Certainly not! If they hadn't had all that to create a history behind the show they never would have been able to make a much, much better one!
----------------
Do you remember that time that thing happened?
This is a bad thread and you should all feel bad
How about that one guy with the mask and the laser sword? He was a pretty good Star Trek captain.
Anuvver fing - when they do sumfing, they try to make it look like somfink else to confuse everybody. When one of them wants to lord it over the uvvers, 'e says "I'm very speshul so'z you gotta worship me", or "I know summink wot you lot don't know, so yer better lissen good". Da funny fing is, arf of 'em believe it and da over arf don't, so 'e 'as to hit 'em all anyway or run fer it.
janeway was a terrible captain. her answer to every situation was to blow up her ship.
kirk was better than picard, to argue anything else is just crazy.
After the orbital strikes, Thunderhawk bombardments, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, fusion and starfire and finally Battle Brothers with flamers had finished cleansing the world of all the enemies of Man, we built a monastery in the center of the largest, most radioactive impact crater. We named the planet "Tranquility", for it was very quiet now.
kirks solution to everything was to kick something. Picard was a diplomat who tried to solve things peacefully. and janeway only blew up her ship twice. knowing that it would have no real effects.
-to many points to bother to count.
mattyrm wrote:i like the idea of a woman with a lobster claw for a hand touching my nuts. :-)
janeway may have only succeded in blowing up her ship twice, but she set the self destruct SO OFTEN it was kinda crazy.
And honestly, just reading your comment makes me giggle. "She only blew up her own ship twice"... I know there were special circumstances, but damn, she blew up the same ship twice!
After the orbital strikes, Thunderhawk bombardments, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, fusion and starfire and finally Battle Brothers with flamers had finished cleansing the world of all the enemies of Man, we built a monastery in the center of the largest, most radioactive impact crater. We named the planet "Tranquility", for it was very quiet now.
technically that wasnt janeway but a diferent one that were like clones and were in desperate situation. Besides janeway kept morale up in a 80 year trip back home.
Also. i doupt kirk has the balls to blow up his ship.
Oh and Janeway took one the borg like no one else did. She even has one as a crew member.
-to many points to bother to count.
mattyrm wrote:i like the idea of a woman with a lobster claw for a hand touching my nuts. :-)
Anuvver fing - when they do sumfing, they try to make it look like somfink else to confuse everybody. When one of them wants to lord it over the uvvers, 'e says "I'm very speshul so'z you gotta worship me", or "I know summink wot you lot don't know, so yer better lissen good". Da funny fing is, arf of 'em believe it and da over arf don't, so 'e 'as to hit 'em all anyway or run fer it.
Deathskulls
Logan Grimnar's Great Company
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
-to many points to bother to count.
After the orbital strikes, Thunderhawk bombardments, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, fusion and starfire and finally Battle Brothers with flamers had finished cleansing the world of all the enemies of Man, we built a monastery in the center of the largest, most radioactive impact crater. We named the planet "Tranquility", for it was very quiet now.