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Manchu wrote:You know, my mother didn't mind me having Asian friends. She did not like, however, me having Asian girlfriends.

My mother doesn't mind who I date. She definitely in no subtle (I think she's trying to be subtle, though) terms would prefer me to find a nice Asian girl, though.

Lunahound wrote:Korean - They wont hesitate to scream / hit you in public
Mainland Chinese - LOTS would marry you for fast visa / citizenship
Other Chinese - Most do care about $ (but mostly because their parents pressures to be so)

Korean girls or Koreans in general?


On Topic:
My time in college was definitely an important part in letting me experience life without the constraints of parental supervision for the first time in my life.

The first thing that really shaped my life was realizing that I will never find an organized religon for me. I feel that all the ones out there just limit the possibilities too much. I eventually decided the closet I could come was buddhism, and find meditating to make me a lot less angry/horny/hungry/whatever I'm feeling.
Second thing was that I realized I will, at one time or another, hate everybody.

And the third was having a talk with my aunt Kate. She had seen some drawings and some of my writing and talked to me about my relationship in my family. She said that she knew how I felt having two older brothers that seemed to be better at everything then me. She said that I should be proud to not be like them. And since then, I've given up trying to impress my parents. I have stopped playing sports that I don't like, and started coming into my own. I figure if they don't like it, then they aren't good parents.

The thing that defined my life was the first time I played D&D.

Discovering Nirvana at 14 and never looking back!

what really help shaped me was when both my grandparent got sick. With my mom spending going in there early in the morning and staying there at night to help. i really had to give up alot of stuff and learn how harse life was.

Some of this stuff is awesomely interesting. This is an awesome thread.

Shamfrit wrote:Discovering Nirvana at 14 and never looking back!

Word.

I don't feel the need to cover everything in my life, but there are some things that I look back to so that I may "keep it real":

*My Grandmother (who was very dear to me) is at her home on Hospice Care (terminal liver and lung cancer at this point). We stopped and got some burgers at Wendys and were going to just stay with her for a bit. I'm sitting in the dining room checking my burger (to see if they screwed it up). Of course the burger is jacked up and I gripe out loud. My Grandmother (who is in the next room) speaks up from her 'bed', "yeah you've got something to gripe about". I think that is about the lowest a human being can ever feel. Here is this woman who helped to raise me, has supported my well-being, and has all around been a great person and is slowly and painfully dying to cancer and I'm being an a-hole in the other room griping because of a couple of slices of tomatoe. I learned a lot about life at that point.

*Having a "real job". I had dropped out of college after a couple semesters. I spent a lot of time just being a young punk, but eventually I needed a job. I started working for a company and eventually worked my way up through a couple of positions. Eventually I got settled into a comfy position doing some drafting. It was all well and good until I realized that if I stayed here my life was going to be pure crap. The company was going down the toilet, my health was deteriorating and I'm just unhappy. I decided to go back to school and finish what I started. I learned a lot about being happy during this time.

*Playing 40K for the first time, touching a boob(s), getting my driver's license, and getting married. It just couldn't be any better if I hadn't done it.

That's the weird thing about people, even if they're so ultimately calm, collected and succsesful, even the hardiest, stubbornest and two-faced individual has had times like some of us seem to have had. We all have problems, we all go through things that define who we are, and they make us stronger (most of the time,) what makes a man I'd say, is not what he's done, or who he's done, but how honestly, piously, and how much humility you can tell others about it,

Harrowing tales, definately an elightening thread *thumbs up.* Thanks for sharing!

Bosnia.

That was my first taste of the absolute depravity a human being is capable of. I had lived the sheltered American life, was the youth group, Chruch Camp sort that was typical in Southern Indiana where my father retired from the Navy and I went to Highschool. What I saw in 1996 in a country I had never heard of growing up changed everything. It opened my eyes as to how good we have here in this country. As flawed or arrogant or whatever the popular stereotype of America is this week it was a hell of alot better than most places in the world.

I Lived in the UK for three years, and for the most part loved it. There were topics that really bugged me though. England's NHS (Nationalized Healthcare) that didn't hold a candle to what I could get in the US (*), a doctor should never have to consult a book to see if somebody qualifies for a drug or proceedure that a doctor has perscribed for a patient. The fact that everything was taxed, and heavily at that. Example: Do you own a TV, there's a yearly tax for that. Just a couple things there. I've spent a few months in Germany, traveled to France, The Netherlands, Italy, Austria and Hungary. All of them were great places, but there was always something that made me miss the US.

It's why this push to make America more like Europe makes me so angry. The need for a government run welfare state with all the social programs under the sun so the buracrats hundreds or thousands of miles away can decide what is best for me or my family. I've seen it, and while it may work to a certain degree, it will never offer the freedom or standard of life that Americans have, even as somebody who came from a pretty poor upbrining as myself. And even with all the programs there remains the same problems they were invented to alleviate. There are still poor people in Germany, there are still people who can't get the medical care they need in England.

(*) For the "Not everybody has insurance" crowd. I had medical insurance with McDonalds at 16 years old flipping freakin burgers it's not as big of an issue as some politicians would like to make it out to be, as long as you can be legally employed.

Edit: Sham, I won't derail the thread but, while I thought their Prenatal care was great (My daughter was born there) my experiences with getting care for sports injuries was far far less than ideal.

(Given I am massive proponent and supporter of the NHS, I'll not spiral the thread off topic, but I'd urge one experience to not ruin what the NHS can be, become, and has been in the past. We've the Labour government and rising obesity to thank for it's current state, although things are improving - feel free to make a new thread if you want to rattle it out, I'm not back in Uni till September and I'm missing political debate! lol.)

In September of 1987, I was struck by lightning. People tell me that my personality changed radically, but it seems to me that what happened is that I started seeing through their crap and not letting people influence me as much. That, and I have no memory of the three months preceding the lightning strike, and nobody believes me. Screw 'em!

warpcrafter wrote:In September of 1987, I was struck by lightning. People tell me that my personality changed radically, but it seems to me that what happened is that I started seeing through their crap and not letting people influence me as much. That, and I have no memory of the three months preceding the lightning strike, and nobody believes me. Screw 'em!

You don't have no memory of me loaning you 50 bucks? Well here's a reminder, you owe me 50 bucks. Pay up!

He actually owes me 200 bucks, so you need to wait in line mate.

DakkaDakka redefines my life daily.

I HAVE to believe my life (and I'm no longer a kid) has yet to be defined. I know this may sound incredibly nihilistic but everything seems to make less and less sense as the years go by. On a happier note, 40K and this site as well as a group I meet with ( A writing/editing group not a support group ) have been a positive side note to all this and of course my daughter keeps me focused as well.

Frazzled wrote:

warpcrafter wrote:In September of 1987, I was struck by lightning. People tell me that my personality changed radically, but it seems to me that what happened is that I started seeing through their crap and not letting people influence me as much. That, and I have no memory of the three months preceding the lightning strike, and nobody believes me. Screw 'em!

You don't have no memory of me loaning you 50 bucks? Well here's a reminder, you owe me 50 bucks. Pay up!

Wrexasaur wrote:He actually owes me 200 bucks, so you need to wait in line mate.

I'll get right on that, as soon as my no-good brother, who I haven't seen since 1994 gives me the $500 that he owes me. He bet me on both the Tyson/Holyfield fights, and lost both bets, double or nothing on the second. Never happen though, he's probably in jail somewhere celebrating his 20th or 30th DUI. As a note of clarification, pre-lightning strike Warpcrafter would have hunted him down and beaten him half to death. Now I just bide my time, waiting for him to show up so I can spit on him.

Life defining moment? Well I guess it had to be christmas day of 1995 when a police officer came to my grandma's home telling my whole family my father had just killed himself.

It was great news at the time (I was 12) and I was just glad that the stranglings and beatings were over.

Now I know a bit more about the situation (my mum told me the whole story when I was 18) I still feel it was a good decision on his part, though I feel sorry for the man he grew up to be.

Lukus83 wrote:Life defining moment? Well I guess it had to be christmas day of 1995 when a police officer came to my grandma's home telling my whole family my father had just killed himself.

It was great news at the time (I was 12) and I was just glad that the stranglings and beatings were over.

Now I know a bit more about the situation (my mum told me the whole story when I was 18) I still feel it was a good decision on his part, though I feel sorry for the man he grew up to be.

Insert awkward silence here *awkward silence*

That is pretty intense stuff mate, I am glad to hear you made it out okay.

Life defining moments, eh?

Getting into the middle of a fight between a female friend and her ex towards the end of high school and getting stabbed for it. Then the whole ensuing trial thingy for him...

Made me realize I really wanted to get involved with law enforcement. Been working towards it ever since, and don't regret a tiny bit of it.

Outside of that, I'd say a big life definer was getting blindsided by a drunk driver and not having a single one of my 'friends' at the time even noticing that I'd completely vanished for almost a month or so. Makes you realize that the only people who really care aren't always the ones you spend the most time with.

Wrexasaur wrote:

Lukus83 wrote:Life defining moment? Well I guess it had to be christmas day of 1995 when a police officer came to my grandma's home telling my whole family my father had just killed himself.

It was great news at the time (I was 12) and I was just glad that the stranglings and beatings were over.

Now I know a bit more about the situation (my mum told me the whole story when I was 18) I still feel it was a good decision on his part, though I feel sorry for the man he grew up to be.

Insert awkward silence here *awkward silence*

That is pretty intense stuff mate, I am glad to hear you made it out okay.

Cheers.

Wrexasaur wrote:

Lukus83 wrote:Life defining moment? Well I guess it had to be christmas day of 1995 when a police officer came to my grandma's home telling my whole family my father had just killed himself.

It was great news at the time (I was 12) and I was just glad that the stranglings and beatings were over.

Now I know a bit more about the situation (my mum told me the whole story when I was 18) I still feel it was a good decision on his part, though I feel sorry for the man he grew up to be.

Insert awkward silence here *awkward silence*

That is pretty intense stuff mate, I am glad to hear you made it out okay.

Wow, I guess that being ignored by my parents was not the worst fate after all. My dad was beat up on a regular basis by his father, and I think he was overcompensating. I made a decision early to never have kids, because when I was younger I had a hell of a temper and didn't want to find out how far I could be pushed.

warpcrafter wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

warpcrafter wrote:In September of 1987, I was struck by lightning. People tell me that my personality changed radically, but it seems to me that what happened is that I started seeing through their crap and not letting people influence me as much. That, and I have no memory of the three months preceding the lightning strike, and nobody believes me. Screw 'em!

You don't have no memory of me loaning you 50 bucks? Well here's a reminder, you owe me 50 bucks. Pay up!

Wrexasaur wrote:He actually owes me 200 bucks, so you need to wait in line mate.

I'll get right on that, as soon as my no-good brother, who I haven't seen since 1994 gives me the $500 that he owes me. He bet me on both the Tyson/Holyfield fights, and lost both bets, double or nothing on the second. Never happen though, he's probably in jail somewhere celebrating his 20th or 30th DUI. As a note of clarification, pre-lightning strike Warpcrafter would have hunted him down and beaten him half to death. Now I just bide my time, waiting for him to show up so I can spit on him.

is it okay to laugh at this?

I don't know what one thing was defining for me.

I mean leaving the Army due to pneumonia and stubbornly choosing the offer to leave rather than be a truck driver or clerk because the Major wasn't gonna let me do the job I signed for at that time sure seems like something that partly defined me. It made me a lot more cynical and stubborn, hit my moral hard, and ultimately has left me with a why bother attitude towards most things, that I have slowly been working on over coming.

Another was when the State tested me to see if I was intellectually handicapped, after failing most of elementary and middle school. The results came back that I was actually very intelligent, one would think that they would have put me in classes to challenge me more but no they let me carry on with my ways. That taught me "He's smart, if he doesn't wanna do it he doesn't have to."

I am just glad I have a pretty healthy family that at least tried to take care of me.

Long story short, I don't talk to my Ma' anymore mainly because she has ignored my grandmother (who is on her last legs so to speak) and at the same time asked for money when holidays would come around. My dad isn't the greatest and my bro' doesn't talk to him anymore (his choice to make really) and it is safe to say that we probably would have been better off just staying with Ma' instead of the Ego battle.

When I was a kid I had to go to the emergency room for a dislocated shoulder because of my dad on 3 separate occasions, and the doctor had the audacity to tell my mother she should learn how to fix it on her own. When I was a toddler my dad mistook me for a living cup holder and I got severe burns all over my chest, what kind of absolute moron gives a toddler a burning hot cup of cocoa (DUMBASS!). I seriously hope my father has learned something, because he will be one lonely dude if he hasn't.

The few clear memories I have from being a kid is the times I spent with my grandparents, my parents themselves have always held some ethereal presence in an otherwise clear headed subconscious. I actually know quite a few kids that were raised by their grandparents, I can't even imagine having to raise my children's children. Happy to say my uncles and aunts are mostly quite stable people, all eccentricities aside.

garret wrote:

warpcrafter wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

warpcrafter wrote:In September of 1987, I was struck by lightning. People tell me that my personality changed radically, but it seems to me that what happened is that I started seeing through their crap and not letting people influence me as much. That, and I have no memory of the three months preceding the lightning strike, and nobody believes me. Screw 'em!

You don't have no memory of me loaning you 50 bucks? Well here's a reminder, you owe me 50 bucks. Pay up!

Wrexasaur wrote:He actually owes me 200 bucks, so you need to wait in line mate.

I'll get right on that, as soon as my no-good brother, who I haven't seen since 1994 gives me the $500 that he owes me. He bet me on both the Tyson/Holyfield fights, and lost both bets, double or nothing on the second. Never happen though, he's probably in jail somewhere celebrating his 20th or 30th DUI. As a note of clarification, pre-lightning strike Warpcrafter would have hunted him down and beaten him half to death. Now I just bide my time, waiting for him to show up so I can spit on him.

is it okay to laugh at this?

Sigh... !!!

Reading "Dune" by Frank Herbert when I was 14.

Never looked back.

Dune was a great novel. I should get back to the next two books in the original trilogy, but it's got to be like another thousand pages.

Just don't touch the books written by his son and those based off the notes of Frank himself.

Getting out of special Ed for good.
Sure I don't get as good as grades as I did when I was in spec ed but i earn them.
But then again im in california so that doesnt mean much.

BrookM wrote:Just don't touch the books written by his son and those based off the notes of Frank himself.

Few have lived to tell hair or nose of the tale they saw... twas' a terrible thing to behold.

"Note"
Didn't read them .