Chuck Norris vs Mr.T (War)

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**shas'o vera**

chuck norris only knows missionary position becuase he never screws up

**warpcrafter**

Billy Mays once talked so loud that he blew Chuck Norris into orbit, Of Mars!

**halonachos**

Mr. T isn't black, all of the gold chains around his neck create a gravity well fromwhich light cannot escape.

**lord of the ghosts**

Chuck Norris's spem are the size of red trout. When they mature, they swim upriver to be eaten by thristy Japanese girls.

**TechnoSymphony**

Chuck norris went back in time and round house kicked the earth. The himalayas were formed

**halonachos**

There are only 4 horseman of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

**jwelvis629**

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard, there is another fist

**lord of the ghosts**

All those dimonds in Mr.T's jewlery?
They were chackel this morning...

**shas'o vera**

we live in an expanding universe. all of it is trying to get away from chuck norris

**halonachos**

Mr. T doesn't lift weights because it infers he has limits to his strength.

**Hawkins**

Chuck gave God a noggie not once, but 3 times.

**halonachos**

Mr. T invented orphans.

**shas'o vera**

the helicopter was invented after chuck norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second

**halonachos**

Mr. T once ate 4 72oz steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris 15 minutes to eat 3.

**Ediin**

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies, he potato-sacks them.

**Ediin**

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies, he potato-sacks them.

**halonachos**

Mr. T once murdered a man with his balls, we now know this as t-bagging. Which is why Chuck Norris doesn't t-bag, he's afraid Mr. T will pity him.

**Gitzbitah**

Many years ago, Chuck Norris had trouble with sleepwalking. As one might expect, this would more accurately be described as sleep rampaging. The sight of his hairy, naked body streaking through the forest and the gruesome sight of victims torn apart by his bare hands gave rise to the legend of the werewolf.

**halonachos**

Mr. T once caught bigfoot, but released him after he shaved it and realized it was just Chuck Norris.

**Guitardian**

When Mr. T says jump I say 'huh'? then Chuck comes in and slaps me and says 'listen to the man!' But I could punch chuck he's not as big, while T just sits their laughing cuz I took out his alternate offensive coach.
..
...i just read over that and i really need to quit these pills

**halonachos**

There are only two languages according to Mr.T, English and Jibba-Jabba.

**person person**

The Ninja Turtles are real, one day Chuck Norris ate 4 turtles, when he sh-t them out they became 6 ft. tall and learned karate.

**lord of the ghosts**

Scientists theorize that Mr. T cannot catch AIDS because his T-cells pity the virus into submission. The study of this phenomenon would lead to an AIDS vaccine; however doctors cannot obtain a blood sample because medical science has been unable to invent a hypodermic needle capable of piercing Mr. T’s skin.

**Commissar NIkev**

Chuck Norris is so tough he eats babies and gaks out Delta Force members!

**Commissar NIkev**

When Chuck Norris was being born he didn't want to wait for his mother to push him out so instead he burst out of her womb.....thus inventing the term C-Section.

**jwelvis629**

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet... Water gets Chuck Norrised

**halonachos**

Mr. T went on a date once with a woman who talked too much. He pitied her into a fat slug that no one could understand and named her Jabba to remind her that she was speaking too much Jibba-Jabba.

**halonachos**

Mr. T invented the X-Ray, Jay-Z, and Ice T after a late night alcoholic bender caused him to forget which letter he was.

**jwelvis629**

Chuck Norris can divide by 0

**Commissar NIkev**

Chuck once killed a T-Rex......with his chest hair.