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sillyboy wrote:Well, if you want to see social cruelty, just pick a highschool. It doesn't matter wich. And just sit there during recess.
If you observe well, you could have written a page full.

Somehow Highschool is the pinnacle of this.

But to give you some examples i picked up from school.

There was a girl, who liked a boy very much. The boy wasn't really in to her, but never let her know.
One day she decided to take "pictures" of herself. Because the boy asked it.

The next day there were flyers everywhere. With those pictures of her. Saying she was a.... well you know.
Suddenly that boy was one of the cool kids.

Two weeks later she transferred to a other school.

if you want I can give more. My school wasn't really the nicest one around.

Strangely, something incredibly similar to that happened at my school yesterday (minus the flyers, though it almost went on FaceBook).

CommissarCandlestick wrote:

sillyboy wrote:Well, if you want to see social cruelty, just pick a highschool. It doesn't matter wich. And just sit there during recess.
If you observe well, you could have written a page full.

Somehow Highschool is the pinnacle of this.

But to give you some examples i picked up from school.

There was a girl, who liked a boy very much. The boy wasn't really in to her, but never let her know.
One day she decided to take "pictures" of herself. Because the boy asked it.

The next day there were flyers everywhere. With those pictures of her. Saying she was a.... well you know.
Suddenly that boy was one of the cool kids.

Two weeks later she transferred to a other school.

if you want I can give more. My school wasn't really the nicest one around.

Strangely, something incredibly similar to that happened at my school yesterday (minus the flyers, though it almost went on FaceBook).

Wow. That is very sad indeed.

Also, I'm often picked on because I was born in the U.S. lived in Germany and now England and my Dad is German and my Mum Russian and I'm also a non-religious Jew. Apparently this makes me the "German, Russian, American, Jewish idiot with glasses."

CommissarCandlestick wrote:Also, I'm often picked on because I was born in the U.S. lived in Germany and now England and my Dad is German and my Mum Russian and I'm also a non-religious Jew. Apparently this makes me the "German, Russian, American, Jewish idiot with glasses."

Or it could just make you yourself. Really, why should we ever judge a person on their personality, instead of their family history? (sarcasm)

I bet you get an awesome mix of food at your place, though.

Avatar 720 wrote:I'm not out for sympathy. Chowder asked for examples and I gave them.

I will always look out no1 (me) first, even if that means assuming everyone is against me. It doesn't mean i'll stare blindly as someone begs for help as they lie bleeding in a gutter, it simply means that i'm prepared to dump the guy back down if he turns on me.

I cannot trust anybody to the same degree that I used to anymore; far too many people have shattered the trust I put in them, and i'm not prepared to live my life being betrayed because I trusted people too much.

I agree with you 100%, The only person that you can truly depend on in this world is yourself, anyone that says otherwise is full of it.

"bullying" is a term thrown around a lot nowadays. Back when I was a kid, it was dumb. Now its still dumb, but dumb with twitter and every kid has a cellphone, so it makes it to Doctor Phil and crap like that, addressing the "Problem of Bullying" as if its something new for this generation of high school kids to deal with it. My suggestion to people who feel "victimized by bullies", be glad you didn't live in the times before the 'ALTERNATIVE REVOLUTION OF THE NINETIES' made it cool to be an individual. Bullies can be ignored, pissed on, hit with large blunt objects, shot columbine style, there are plenty of solutions available for the mad little goth kids out there.

Unless you own your own business, you may have to deal with a bully at a workplace, at a post office, at a random traffic stop by an donkey-cave cop. It isn't a new phenomenon. Give certain stupid people an ounce of power, whether its being 'cool' or being bigger than other kids his age, or whatever, (or a gun + badge, or a rank insignia) and you will find a bully. Get used to it and ignore it because it is the human condition, not some new problem this generation of whining kids has to deal with. It's just that back in the day, we didn't have Dr. Phil to bring this problem to public attention.

Being a reasonably big fella bullying hasn’t really been a problem ( as far as in the work place & socially is concerned it’s all about the company you keep & generally trying to be a nice guy, which is a no-brainer) I can’t say I was popular but for lack of a better word ‘average’ would describe my school days. I did however take it upon myself to protect those in the school who suffered mental health issues.

I’ve continued in this vein to the point where I now do it for a living & I have to say the amount of stigma attached to, specifically visible, mental health issues, is frankly shocking. It ranges from a fundamental lack of understanding (ignorance is no excuse but is it’s easier to deal with) to out & out abuse; the latter is usually met with a clenched fist being waved in the abusers face. I know this isn’t exactly a personal story regarding bullying but I thought I’d post my thoughts on the matter.

On a side note, a couple of members of my family suffer from Colitis too, although they have never had any social problems with it as far as I know. That said I do understand how awful it is to suffer from it, kudos for telling your story.

What if the bully is the one with the mental health issues? I have lived with an ex-army fella with severe anger management issues and aspbergers syndrome anal-retentive expectations. This guy would start shouting matches over what I'm watching on TV, or how much decaf I mix with my regular coffee, or who is a better sports team. Just starting a conversation so he can have something to be pissed off about, when I just tried to avoid the conversation (when you live with someone that isn't always possible)... Is it wrong of me to be mean right back to him when he was such an incorrigable ass, since it isn't his fault he's an ass?

Guitardian wrote:What if the bully is the one with the mental health issues? I have lived with an ex-army fella with severe anger management issues and aspbergers syndrome... Is it wrong of me to be mean right back to him when he was such an incorrigable ass, since it isn't his fault he's an ass?

If he is aware of his misdeeds, then he should be reprimanded. Asbergers is VERY low on the autism spectrum, and people with it can justify their actions.

Yeah well he isn't aware during the act, just afterwards when he calms down, and awkwardly tries to act like nothing happened. His calming down, which usually involves some shouting and a huff-n-puff stomp off to his room to blow things up on halo gives me a moment's peace. Yeah he's my brother. I am past the point of being understanding now so when it starts up I give him gak right back until he goes away. I wonder who the bully is though? I mean, he starts it, but I should know better, but after a while I just get so frustrated and have to lash out back. Sorry, now this is getting all persoal from my immediate situation. It happens every day though and I doubt if there's a cure. I wish I was a big enough 'man' enough to just nod and smile through it, but sometimes I feel so completely justified - then afterwards I feel bad for snapping. It's hard to deal with. I would love to watch a movie with my GF once without him talking through the whole thing about how stupid and unrealistic it is (dont rent ANYTHING with any kind of military plot) and askingwhy we bothered to rent such a stupid movie, etc... or yellingabout her parking behind him (when he isnt even using his car).

Is it an donkey-cave's fault that he is an donkey-cave?

I have to say I agree with Chowder on this one; if the person has any real understanding of what they are doing then it really is up to them to try & control it.

That said I do know of some disorders which, amongst other things, cause severe mood swings & anger issues. If this is the case then it is up to those who care for the person to either manage or explain their actions.

easier said than done on a day-in day-out level. I much prefer him blowing stuff up on halo than blowing up fuming around the room and insulting everything and everyone, so I guess I have taken to yelling back as a way to get it to go away.

I am a very empathetic and understanding person and have been called a good friend by many, I am not some jerk who abuses the mentally il, but sometimes I wonder at what point you cross the line... like... maybe, just like some people are just stupid and it isnt their fault... maybe some people are just mean-spirited angry hateful human beings and that isn't their fault either... how much do you take before you tell anger-management-soldier-boy he is a complete dick? It's not like you can tell an angry psycho he is just mentally ill so its okay, yknow?

Guitardian wrote:easier said than done on a day-in day-out level. I much prefer him blowing stuff up on halo than blowing up fuming around the room and insulting everything and everyone.

If that's how he deals with his anger, then more power to him. Video games are a great anger reliever.

WhenI'm pissed, I go to GTA4 and run over people.

Guitardian wrote:easier said than done on a day-in day-out level. I much prefer him blowing stuff up on halo than blowing up fuming around the room and insulting everything and everyone, so I guess I have taken to yelling back as a way to get it to go away.

I am a very empathetic and understanding person and have been called a good friend by many, I am not some jerk who abuses the mentally il, but sometimes I wonder at what point you cross the line... like... maybe, just like some people are just stupid and it isnt their fault... maybe some people are just mean-spirited angry hateful human beings and that isn't their fault either... how much do you take before you tell anger-management-soldier-boy he is a complete dick? It's not like you can tell an angry psycho he is just mentally ill so its okay, yknow?

Aren't you 36, why is your brother still living with you?

He's actually upstairs right now after coming downstairs to give me gak about us being out of milk and how I'm so lazy I didn't walk to the store. In Korea they walked blah blah miles a day (around the army base of course) and so on. I can hear the beautiful explosions through the ceiling right now that psychologically mean 'peace and quiet' to me. Yeah try living with the mentally ill and see how easy it is to stay positive. Sorry I'm getting all "grrrr"-ish here.

I would like to make this not about my living situation, but about the bullying thing... is it possible that all those people at school who give other people at school a hard time have all had it kind of drilled into them, maybe by an overbearing little-league-coach kind of dad, or a messed up relationship between their parents watching daddy beat up mommy back before they came and took him away, maybe all of our violent instincts and our aggressive need to show others we are stronger just for its own sake, maybe that isnt as much of an animal instinct as we try to excuse it as. I have plenty of male friends I have absolutely competative urge to establish dominance over, yknow what I mean? Somewhere, at some time, we were all innocent and friendly. Something taught us all to be mean in one way or another.

Normally as a grumpy old man my response to High School crap is something along the lines of "you punk kids have it so easy", but in the case of bullying things have truly gotten worse because of technology.

In my day when someone got their ass kicked in high school or did something really stupid kids might tease them about it for a few months and then get bored of it and move on to teasing someone else who did something stupid more recently, or received a more recent ass kicking.

Now thanks to technology bullies can give enough alcohol to a socially outcast kid with poor self esteem that they can talk him into lighting his junk on fire so they can stomp it out for a youtube video, and the video will have millions of hits.

Cyberbullying is a whole lot worse than the traditional in your face type because old school bullying ended when the bell rang. Cyblerbullying can go on 24/7, and the types of kids who bully have a lot more time to do so online after school than they ever did while on campus.

Bullying was a lot less of problem back when I was in high school, kids really do have a harder time now thanks to technology.

Well, I really don't have much to contribute to this thread. Anything I can say, I already see that someone else had far worse.

All I can really say is I am apart of that "Look after yourself and the people you care about, feth everyone else" crowd. I grew up beleiving everyone was my friend, since my mom was the secretary at school. Well, that was all fine and dandy, we all kind of were. But then this one kid shows up, and I don't know if he turned everyone against me or I just started realizing that no one liked me in the first place, hell, don't know, don't care anymore.

One thing that has always puzzled me is this: I used to get Kick Me signs put on my back, and I don't know if people were just not that cruel (except these 3-5 kids), if they were afraid of my mom or what, but no one ever did.

Anyway, there was this one kid, I don't know what his problem was, but the dude acted like he was THE biggest thing since sliced bread, but if you so much as tapped him he would go crying in a corner (literally). I made the mistake of adding him on Myspace, then after thinking about it, deleted him. Oh my god, you would have thought I had just killed his puppy or something. I think I still have that messege series somewhere, if I cared to post it. Petty victory, but I ain't above petty, unfortunately. My biggest problem with the kid was I met someone else who was exactly the same (fat, short, runs his mouth but freaks out at nothing) and he pissed me off to no end. It got to the point where I had to go to the principle, not because I had had enough, but because I was about ten seconds from making sure there was one less kid in school. And I'm not saying that to sound tough, I was actually starting to walk toward the kid with my keys held out in my hand like brass knuckles without even realizing it.

But the worse thing that ever happened to me was I got picked up and dragged halfway down the "high school" (Sixth grade in a high school building), past three teachers, and no one put a stop to it. And when I was fighting my way out of it, I bit this kid, and I get in trouble for biting someone

But the worse thing that ever happened to me was I got picked up and dragged halfway down the "high school" (Sixth grade in a high school building), past three teachers, and no one put a stop to it.

Didn't get it done that that extent, but I was walking quickly up to a lesson I was already late for; get to the top, so a twonk of a year 11 picks me up (I was in year 7, so that's an age gap of around 5 years; and I was tiny) and carrys me all the way back down past the deputy headteacher who simply looked on, shook her head and walked off.

That was my only experience of being carried anywhere, and it was more like a "What the hell just happened?..." moment than a bullying one.

Avatar 720 wrote:

But the worse thing that ever happened to me was I got picked up and dragged halfway down the "high school" (Sixth grade in a high school building), past three teachers, and no one put a stop to it.

Didn't get it done that that extent, but I was walking quickly up to a lesson I was already late for; get to the top, so a twonk of a year 11 picks me up (I was in year 7, so that's an age gap of around 5 years; and I was tiny) and carrys me all the way back down past the deputy headteacher who simply looked on, shook her head and walked off.

That was my only experience of being carried anywhere, and it was more like a "What the hell just happened?..." moment than a bullying one.

Meh, doesn't bother me that much anymore.

The only thing is, is that I am about to make a thread about my response to all the "Social Cruelty" I had to endure, and I will dedicate it to all of you guys if you want me to. But first, to the drinks!

Guitardian wrote:He's actually upstairs right now after coming downstairs to give me gak about us being out of milk and how I'm so lazy I didn't walk to the store. In Korea they walked blah blah miles a day (around the army base of course) and so on. I can hear the beautiful explosions through the ceiling right now that psychologically mean 'peace and quiet' to me. Yeah try living with the mentally ill and see how easy it is to stay positive. Sorry I'm getting all "grrrr"-ish here.

Now I'm no doctor, but isn't one of the many signs of autism the disability to pick up on social cues delivered through tone of voice, body language, ect? Perhaps from his perspective, he is bringing up a normal point, and you just suddenly explode out of nowhere? Maybe (once again, I know little of your situation, and am not a doctor of any kind) straight up telling him that you are angry might help. Also, instead of getting into a shouting match, early in the argument, if possible, suggest that you go play halo at blow each others brains out virtually? Of course, it would probably be a good idea to let him win.

micahaphone wrote:

Guitardian wrote:He's actually upstairs right now after coming downstairs to give me gak about us being out of milk and how I'm so lazy I didn't walk to the store. In Korea they walked blah blah miles a day (around the army base of course) and so on. I can hear the beautiful explosions through the ceiling right now that psychologically mean 'peace and quiet' to me. Yeah try living with the mentally ill and see how easy it is to stay positive. Sorry I'm getting all "grrrr"-ish here.

Now I'm no doctor, but isn't one of the many signs of autism the disability to pick up on social cues delivered through tone of voice, body language, ect? Perhaps from his perspective, he is bringing up a normal point, and you just suddenly explode out of nowhere? Maybe (once again, I know little of your situation, and am not a doctor of any kind) straight up telling him that you are angry might help. Also, instead of getting into a shouting match, early in the argument, if possible, suggest that you go play halo at blow each others brains out virtually? Of course, it would probably be a good idea to let him win.

Only if he is a Wookie, however.

so...much...win....

schadenfreude wrote:Normally as a grumpy old man my response to High School crap is something along the lines of "you punk kids have it so easy", but in the case of bullying things have truly gotten worse because of technology.

In my day when someone got their ass kicked in high school or did something really stupid kids might tease them about it for a few months and then get bored of it and move on to teasing someone else who did something stupid more recently, or received a more recent ass kicking.

Now thanks to technology bullies can give enough alcohol to a socially outcast kid with poor self esteem that they can talk him into lighting his junk on fire so they can stomp it out for a youtube video, and the video will have millions of hits.

Cyberbullying is a whole lot worse than the traditional in your face type because old school bullying ended when the bell rang. Cyblerbullying can go on 24/7, and the types of kids who bully have a lot more time to do so online after school than they ever did while on campus.

Bullying was a lot less of problem back when I was in high school, kids really do have a harder time now thanks to technology.

I blame kids for cyberbullying. They want to be so exposed its not even funny, a 13 year old on 4chan isn't unheard of. Also kids love to fething friend anything with a pulse, play online to test it. As soon as you get one kill and the game ends, every kid under 16 is going to send you a friend request. If you friend everyone in your school on facebook then you're just inviting trouble, and that's what these kids do and that's what their parents allow.

Personally I want to see the whole zero tolerance for violence thing done away with. If a person starts a fight they should get punished, if a kid is being bullied and punches the bully we should applaud him. Its in every single movie that has a bully and we cheer the kid on in the movie, but not in real life. We removed the ability to apply anger and violence against the source of the anger and violence so the bullied kid is going to find another outlet for his anger.

The kid can't fight the bully, he can't punch anything, playing games may help but it could also increase the frustration to the point that the only outlet for the kid's anger and violence is the kid's own body. I mean come one people, let the kid knock the gak out of the bully.

I've been bullied a few times during elementary school, and I fought back. I don't like being pushed around. I got in just as much trouble as the aggressors, because I didn't curl into a ball and wait for the teacher to notice. Silly me. Zero tolerance is a load of bull

micahaphone wrote:I've been bullied a few times during elementary school, and I fought back. I don't like being pushed around. I got in just as much trouble as the aggressors, because I didn't curl into a ball and wait for the teacher to notice. Silly me. Zero tolerance is a load of bull

This sums it up nicely. Bullie's actions remain invisible to anyone in authority, but just hit one back and you wind up in a world of gak.

I was walking home one day and a sandwich was thrown at me from a car,the sad part is that was no where near the last time.

Also a small kid kept annoying me,I really wish I was able to kick him.

I was at a party last year, and there was this one kid who decided to show up. After that night, I guess that would have been his worst decision he'd ever made. This kid here, you see is one of our batch's scholars, one of those smart but poor (sorry for the lack of the better term) kids we draft into our school every so often. He's just there, minding his own business when these other guys from school decide to take him outside. Poor kid had a smile on his face, probably thinking he was one of the cool guys now.

I remember walking outside afterwards, not really knowing what I was going to to do. Well needless to say, it was to late for me to do anything. He was still curled up under the tree when the other "cool guys" were busy laughing and taking smokes nearby. I didn't bother to check on him, for fear of a similar fate. All I know is, when I went back in, he was still under there, while I somewhat guiltily partied the night away.

Sure, he came back to school after about a week, but probably not the same person he was after that night.

I'm still ashamed that I didn't intervene in any way. No one even cared to notice what was happening, and even if they did, would they even care?

It will probably mess the kid up for a long time, but it might make him a less gullible person. What age were all of you at this time, by the way?
I'm shocked nobody helped the poor guy. Usually there's one or two kind hearted souls.

but it might make him a less gullible person

There's a significant difference between 'less gullible' and 'completely untrusting'.

I remember bullying in high school. It was just minor stuff like getting shoved around/punched. It wasn't that big a deal, until it eventually got to the point that I lost it and fought back. After the two detentions we each received, it stopped. The moral I was taught from the entire experience is "If you're not willing to try to stand up for yourself, don't be surprised when no one else is."


Automatically Appended Next Post:
The second moral was that life becomes much more hilarious when you realize that the worst thing that can happen to you for doing so was sitting in a classroom for 45 minutes after school doing the same homework you were going to do at home.