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And so, due to rising costs of maintaining the Golden Throne, the Emperor's finest accountants spoke to the Demigurg. A deal was forged in blood and extensive paperwork for a sub-prime mortgage with a 5/1 ARM on the Imperial Palace. And lo, in the following years the housing market did tumble and the rate skyrocketed leaving the Emperor's coffers bare. A dark time has begun for the Imperium, the tithes can not keep up with the balloon payments and the Imperial Palace and its contents, including the Golden Throne, have fallen into foreclosure. With an impending auction on the horizon mankind holds its breath as it waits to see who will gain possession of the corpse-god and thus, the fate of humanity......
Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Cross eyed Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Cross eyed Major A-hole: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an a-hole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. A-hole, Major A-hole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an a -hole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip A-hole!
Dark Helmet: How many a-holes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by a-holes!
[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, a-holes!
Space Balls
My Sisters of Battle Thread
https://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/783053.page
This reminds me of a joke. This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he-he's pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the fething glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his fuckin' ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You fething idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300." And the bartender's like, "What the feth are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy."
Best line in any movie. Ever.
Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats.
Are you gonna do something or just stand there and bleed? - Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell) Tombstone
Billy Clanton: Why, it's the drunk piano player. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothin'. In fact, you're probably seeing double.
[Billy Clanton draws a knife]
Doc Holliday: [takes out a second gun] I have two guns, one for each of ya. - Tombstone
I kick ass for the Lord - Father McGruder (Stuart Devenie) Braindead
I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life. - Hans Guber (Alan Rickman) Die Hard
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
Minnesota, land of 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000 Mosquitos
"He say you brade runner!" - Blade Runner
"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn, dirty ape!" - Planet of the Apes
"The pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!" - Liar Liar
"When somebody asks if you are a god, you say YES!" - Ghostbusters
*worm breaks into a basement, camera pans back to reveal entire wall of guns*
"Broke into the wrong god damn rec room, didn't you!" - Tremors
"Attention K-Mart shoppers. Jews in aisle 12. Repeat, Jews in aisle 12." - The Hebrew Hammer
"We're running out of skin. I suggest we harvest another lesbian!" - Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter (yes, a real movie, it's on netflix and is awesome)
"Robin! Pass me down the shark-repellent bat-spray!" - Batman (1966)
"What could their goal be? Gotham City?"
"If it were two of them, perhaps."
"The United States?"
"If it were three, I would say yes! But all four of them, working together...their minimum objective has to be the entire world!" - also from Batman (1966). Another movie with all kinds of dialogue gems.
My Armies:
Kal'reia Sept Tau - Farsight Sympathizers Da Great Looted Waaagh! The Court of the Wolf Lords
Jules: [Jules shoots the man on the couch] I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country are you from?
Brett: What? What? Wh - ?
Jules: "What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: English, melon-fether, do you speak it?
Brett: Yes! Yes!
Jules: Then you know what I'm sayin'!
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!
Brett: What?
Jules: Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you melon-fether, say what one more Goddamn time!
Automatically Appended Next Post: Oh, also:
And for Relapse:
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/09/02 06:44:17
Looking for great deals on miniatures or have a large pile you are looking to sell off? Checkout Mindtaker Miniatures.
Live in the Pacific NW? Check out http://ordofanaticus.com
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
It's at 0:47, but you should still watch what is a classic fight scene.
Prestor Jon wrote: Because children don't have any legal rights until they're adults. A minor is the responsiblity of the parent and has no legal rights except through his/her legal guardian or parent.
Ugh. I loved the crow but watched it WAY too much. At this point it is kind of a joke amongst my friends.
For example: It is not rare for one of us to say (because we live in the pacific northwest) "Well I guess it can rain all the time."
Anyways there are so many good quotes in that movie that have just been beaten to death:
"Not a good day to be a bad guy"
"This is the really real world. There ain't no coming back."
"Smokes and road beers"
"Caw caw bang f* I'm dead."
Jesus christ joke.
etc so on.
Looking for great deals on miniatures or have a large pile you are looking to sell off? Checkout Mindtaker Miniatures.
Live in the Pacific NW? Check out http://ordofanaticus.com
Off-topic: Actually reminds me of a discussion we were having about the soundtrack recently. Great freaking soundtrack (one of my all-time favorites) that has just been so overplayed for so many years that it has almost been ruined. Oh well.
Looking for great deals on miniatures or have a large pile you are looking to sell off? Checkout Mindtaker Miniatures.
Live in the Pacific NW? Check out http://ordofanaticus.com