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@Chowder...I'm sorry but you know that joke would have come up eventually and it would have probably been way more insensitive...I was being merciful...
If anyone here has the right to be sad, its me, I lost money on that bet...
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/09/27 01:14:39
schadenfreude wrote:Exploding fire trees still take 2nd place as the 2nd most incompatable with human life plant based Australian lifeform behind the 1st place champ: Vegamite
Just letting you know, I hate Vegemite
I have never seen a spider bigger than 4cm but I have seen a few snakes.
The reason ecalyptus is so flamable is because of the alcahol in it. That's why drop bears drop, because they're always so drunk
That describes the smallest camel spider I have ever seen, so my nuke the camel spiders from orbit still stands.
Brother Azul wrote:I'm pretty sure this is what was meant by invisible ocean-dwelling heart-attack machines but i cant be sure. (its a box jellyfish btw)
There is also an ant that jumps from trees but i dont remember what that ones called.
MrDwhitey wrote:How do people with arachnaphobia even survive in that blasted country?
They don't...
Theres actually a test Australian doctors have that they do to newborns. This test determines whether the baby will grow up to be arachnaphobic or not. Those that are are offed up in sacrafice to appease our benevolent Spider over lords. This is how the rest of us survive in our harsh and unforgiving land.
Brother Azul wrote:I'm pretty sure this is what was meant by invisible ocean-dwelling heart-attack machines but i cant be sure. (its a box jellyfish btw)
There is also an ant that jumps from trees but i dont remember what that ones called.
MrDwhitey wrote:How do people with arachnaphobia even survive in that blasted country?
They don't...
Theres actually a test Australian doctors have that they do to newborns. This test determines whether the baby will grow up to be arachnaphobic or not. Those that are are offed up in sacrafice to appease our benevolent Spider over lords. This is how the rest of us survive in our harsh and unforgiving land.
I loled
I remember when I was a kid when i lived there I had a Blue jay and that even attacked me.
I remember so much like the trap door spiders, wolf spiders, spiders, and snakes. I love spiders, But i hate snakes rofl.
From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war.
Its funny because everything is Aus has evolved to kill everything else and so survive, but everything in New Zealand is so docile that the countries native animals are getting reaped by possums and rats. Lol
Ledabot wrote:Its funny because everything is Aus has evolved to kill everything else and so survive, but everything in New Zealand is so docile that the countries native animals are getting reaped by possums and rats. Lol
New Zealand probably broke away to escape the flying rodent gak insanity that is Aussie wildlife.
There are some who walk until their legs fail them and they fall to the ground. I find that respectable.
Then there are those who drag themselves further. I find that admirable.
Ledabot wrote:Its funny because everything is Aus has evolved to kill everything else and so survive, but everything in New Zealand is so docile that the countries native animals are getting reaped by possums and rats. Lol
I remember that rofl!
From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war.
Note how the father calmly allows the child into danger, and then slowly walks up to pick them up, and slap them for failing. Its an important lesson, and one I'll never forget.
Also From this site - "According to statistics from the Victorian Injury Surveillance Unit, no less than 28,128 Victorians were injured by animals between July 2004 and June 2007, that is nearly 10 000 a year."
Finally, this site has a nice list of other dangerous creatures - the stone fish, buffallo, camels, magpies, bees, etc.
Every birthday in Australia is celebrated, as it may be your last.
And yet despite the threat from all things bright and beautiful Australians live long lives!
According to statistics from the Victorian Injury Surveillance Unit, no less than 28,128 Victorians were injured by animals between July 2004 and June 2007, that is nearly 10 000 a year.
By 2004 they must have been at least 103 years young as the Victorian era ended on the Queen's death in 1901
Nearly 30,000 Victorians were injured and there must be many more Victorians that weren''t! How many 100yo+ people live in Aus?
See Vegemite is good for you and prolongs life
I am going to eat Vegemite by the bucket full from now on!
Chibi Bodge-Battle wrote:And yet despite the threat from all things bright and beautiful Australians live long lives!
According to statistics from the Victorian Injury Surveillance Unit, no less than 28,128 Victorians were injured by animals between July 2004 and June 2007, that is nearly 10 000 a year.
By 2004 they must have been at least 103 years young as the Victorian era ended on the Queen's death in 1901
Nearly 30,000 Victorians were injured and there must be many more Victorians that weren''t! How many 100yo+ people live in Aus?
See Vegemite is good for you and prolongs life
I am going to eat Vegemite by the bucket full from now on!
Actually too much vegemite causes a state of undeath that can last hundreds of years fueled by more vegemite and human flesh. All those animal attacks are actually faked as a cover up for deaths caused by the vegemite zombies.
Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail, and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, but refuse. They cling to the realm, or love, or the gods…illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is, but they’ll never know this. Not until it’s too late.
MrDwhitey wrote:How do people with arachnaphobia even survive in that blasted country?
They don't...
Theres actually a test Australian doctors have that they do to newborns. This test determines whether the baby will grow up to be arachnaphobic or not. Those that are are offed up in sacrafice to appease our benevolent Spider over lords. This is how the rest of us survive in our harsh and unforgiving land.
To keep it brief it involves a bucket of spiders and a tooth pick. The baby is armed and dropped in the bucket.
Brother Azul wrote:I'm pretty sure this is what was meant by invisible ocean-dwelling heart-attack machines but i cant be sure. (its a box jellyfish btw)
Brings a tear to my eye. Its like a potential home away from home.
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Frazzled wrote:Its like a potential home away from home.
Potential?? You mean you are actually considering moving here?? What the hell man... I mean we were a prison colony for a reason.
On a slighty more serious note. What makes Australia such a horrific place to be isn't the fact we have a lot of hightly venomous and dangeous critters, which we do! Its the fact that they are EVERYWHERE.
Of the top 10 most venomous snakes - we have 5... + the Belchers sea snake which is the most venomous snake in the world, but thats a seasnake so it kinda counts kinda doesnt...
Of the top 10 most venomous spiders - we have i think 4 of them. I couldnt find my venomous spiders book...
Frazzled wrote:Its like a potential home away from home.
Potential?? You mean you are actually considering moving here?? What the hell man... I mean we were a prison colony for a reason.
On a slighty more serious note. What makes Australia such a horrific place to be isn't the fact we have a lot of hightly venomous and dangeous critters, which we do! Its the fact that they are EVERYWHERE.
Of the top 10 most venomous snakes - we have 5... + the Belchers sea snake which is the most venomous snake in the world, but thats a seasnake so it kinda counts kinda doesnt...
Of the top 10 most venomous spiders - we have i think 4 of them. I couldnt find my venomous spiders book...
It may be my holy mission to spread the Holy Faith that is Mexican Food to the unbelievers in Australia.
Mmmm queso.
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Frazzled wrote:Its like a potential home away from home.
Potential?? You mean you are actually considering moving here?? What the hell man... I mean we were a prison colony for a reason.
On a slighty more serious note. What makes Australia such a horrific place to be isn't the fact we have a lot of hightly venomous and dangeous critters, which we do! Its the fact that they are EVERYWHERE.
Of the top 10 most venomous snakes - we have 5... + the Belchers sea snake which is the most venomous snake in the world, but thats a seasnake so it kinda counts kinda doesnt...
Of the top 10 most venomous spiders - we have i think 4 of them. I couldnt find my venomous spiders book...
It may be my holy mission to spread the Holy Faith that is Mexican Food to the unbelievers in Australia.
Mmmm queso.
We have mex food. I'm sure you'll have something to say about how we don't do it properly, but that's your prerogative.
We mostly share these stories of deadly flora and fauna in order to scare off potential immigrants. We're a claustrophobic lot down here.
schadenfreude wrote:Actually too much vegemite causes a state of undeath that can last hundreds of years fueled by more vegemite and human flesh.
It also smells pretty bad.
“We may observe that the government in a civilized country is much more expensive than in a barbarous one; and when we say that one government is more expensive than another, it is the same as if we said that that one country is farther advanced in improvement than another. To say that the government is expensive and the people not oppressed is to say that the people are rich.”
Adam Smith, who must have been some kind of leftie or something.
Before I started working at my job supporting Australians remotely, I was under the impression Australia was likely the most horrific place in the world, nature wise.
Ouze wrote:Before I started working at my job supporting Australians remotely, I was under the impression Australia was likely the most horrific place in the world, nature wise.
Yeah one great thing about australia is that they sell sheperds pie, and tim tams at the malls. And dear god its like a 30 minute kiss with a model from brazil.
From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war.
Commisar Von Humps wrote:The Australian infants greatest enemy. The Dingo.
Interesting fact about dingoes... They actually make great pets. They are friendly, loyal and mix well with other dogs. You gotta watch them around cats and smaller pets like rabbits and geuina pigs and i wouldn't leave a newborn baby with one but even toddlers and small children get along well with them. And that whole thing about the dingo taking Lindey Chaimbalins baby was veeeerrrry suspicious.
Ouze wrote:Before I started working at my job supporting Australians remotely, I was under the impression Australia was likely the most horrific place in the world, nature wise.
If i may ask, what job did you have supporting us remotely?
Any time you feel like coming down please do. We are always happy to have people pay our ridiculously exorbitant prices for accomodation and food... LOOKING AT YOU SYDNEY!!! . One thing though. Dont come by boat...
Asherian Command wrote:Yeah one great thing about australia is that they sell sheperds pie, and tim tams at the malls. And dear god its like a 30 minute kiss with a model from brazil.
Haha i forget you Americans go crazy for Tim tams... I dont know why considering the predigeous range of biscuits and stuff you have over there. They are tasty though ill give ya that. My favourites are the Chili Tim tams. It may interest you to know that you can buy them in the US now. They are sold under the name "Pepperidge farm Tim tams". Not sure where they are sold but if you want to get your hands on some it may be worth hunting them down... One question though. How does it equate to snogging a Braziliian model??
Brother Azul wrote:If i may ask, what job did you have supporting us remotely?
Any time you feel like coming down please do. We are always happy to have people pay our ridiculously exorbitant prices for accomodation and food... LOOKING AT YOU SYDNEY!!! . One thing though. Dont come by boat...
I work at a IT helpdesk supporting a multinational company. I work at night and support what GWS would call ROW: the UK, Australia, and South Africa; in waves depending on time of the night. Towards the end of the night, when it's morning here, I might get a few Americans. My favorites are the Australians, which are from Rockhampton, Mossvale, Wollegong, Brisbane & Mackay, mostly.
My least favorites are Americans from New York. I was born in NYC and lived there till I was 25, but turns out that it's a city of jerkfaces.
So far as going by boat, I'm not sure I'll ever get to go. I've floated the idea and my wife has vehemently vetoed it. I might have to settle for a Bearded Dragon.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2011/09/28 03:43:11
lord_blackfang wrote: Respect to the guy who subscribed just to post a massive ASCII dong in the chat and immediately get banned.
Flinty wrote: The benefit of slate is that its.actually a.rock with rock like properties. The downside is that it's a rock
cbosw5 wrote:To all of you if ya reckon your tough porve it by parachuting into the desert and see how long ya last.
Not to uh burst your bubble or anything but a lot of skydiving classes take place on fringes of the desert. Mostly because its a large open area and theres not much to smack into on your way down. So parachuting into the desert is probably not that much of a huge thing.
Ouze wrote:
Brother Azul wrote:If i may ask, what job did you have supporting us remotely?
Any time you feel like coming down please do. We are always happy to have people pay our ridiculously exorbitant prices for accomodation and food... LOOKING AT YOU SYDNEY!!! . One thing though. Dont come by boat...
I work at a IT helpdesk supporting a multinational company. I work at night and support what GWS would call ROW: the UK, Australia, and South Africa; in waves depending on time of the night. Towards the end of the night, when it's morning here, I might get a few Americans. My favorites are the Australians, which are from Rockhampton, Mossvale, Wollegong, Brisbane & Mackay, mostly.
My least favorites are Americans from New York. I was born in NYC and lived there till I was 25, but turns out that it's a city of jerkfaces.
So far as going by boat, I'm not sure I'll ever get to go. I've floated the idea and my wife has vehemently vetoed it. I might have to settle for a Bearded Dragon.
It would appear your wife has been reading this thread then and has spotted multiple good reasons as to why travel here is unwise. Ah so you mostly deal with Queenslanders then aye? Unbeknownst to them the rest of us see them as the "weird ones". They just do things a little differently from the rest of us. Bearded Dragons are pretty awesome and they're not even as spikey as you expect them to be. They're more of a soft spikey rather then a pointy spikey and so are quite easy to hold and play with.
As for that quip about the boats. It was more of a joke rather then actual advice. We have a real problem with people smugglers coming in from Indonesia so our Navy is constantly intercepting boats and sending people back to their own countries.
cbosw5 wrote:To all of you if ya reckon your tough porve it by parachuting into the desert and see how long ya last.
Not to uh burst your bubble or anything but a lot of skydiving classes take place on fringes of the desert. Mostly because its a large open area and theres not much to smack into on your way down. So parachuting into the desert is probably not that much of a huge thing.
Ouze wrote:
Brother Azul wrote:If i may ask, what job did you have supporting us remotely?
Any time you feel like coming down please do. We are always happy to have people pay our ridiculously exorbitant prices for accomodation and food... LOOKING AT YOU SYDNEY!!! . One thing though. Dont come by boat...
I work at a IT helpdesk supporting a multinational company. I work at night and support what GWS would call ROW: the UK, Australia, and South Africa; in waves depending on time of the night. Towards the end of the night, when it's morning here, I might get a few Americans. My favorites are the Australians, which are from Rockhampton, Mossvale, Wollegong, Brisbane & Mackay, mostly.
My least favorites are Americans from New York. I was born in NYC and lived there till I was 25, but turns out that it's a city of jerkfaces.
So far as going by boat, I'm not sure I'll ever get to go. I've floated the idea and my wife has vehemently vetoed it. I might have to settle for a Bearded Dragon.
It would appear your wife has been reading this thread then and has spotted multiple good reasons as to why travel here is unwise. Ah so you mostly deal with Queenslanders then aye? Unbeknownst to them the rest of us see them as the "weird ones". They just do things a little differently from the rest of us. Bearded Dragons are pretty awesome and they're not even as spikey as you expect them to be. They're more of a soft spikey rather then a pointy spikey and so are quite easy to hold and play with.
As for that quip about the boats. It was more of a joke rather then actual advice. We have a real problem with people smugglers coming in from Indonesia so our Navy is constantly intercepting boats and sending people back to their own countries.
1,500 
. One thing though. Dont come by boat... 