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*scratches head*
*leaves thread quietly*

No but in all seriousness OP, fair play for writing up the batrep and it sounds like you have a huge army.
However from an objective point of view, it isnt a well written batrep.
With my Sherlock Holmes hat on Im going to proffer english isnt your first language, however, not using things like basic punctuation and full stops is inexcusable as are the lack of paragraphs etc.
Not every batrep needs pictures but claiming you have some and then not uploading them is further misleading and wont endear people to the report much.

I suggest you take a look at some of the other batreps posted here and try and emulate them. Whilst you can obviously put your own stamp on reps, copying a decent template and getting the basics right is paramount.

Haha no only half of them are painted i ran out of paint before i ran out of models and i used a massive amount of glue and time. the game itself took 3 half days

OK since I feel like wasting time I think I'll just help the OP to clarify some things for the rest of us so we get a better idea what happened in this battle
So here are some things I didn't understand quite well

half my scouts being wiped out within the first 2 turns *Darn those chaos dreadnoughts*

What kind of scouts are we talking about? Veterans with the forward sentries doctrine? How many were there?
And how many Dreads were there? Chaos Dreads aren't usually that good at killing infantry at a distance and it's hard to get into close combat in the first 2 turns, so how did they kill all your scouts?

broke though the cultists

Did your enemy field actual cultists with special rules or are you just referring to chaos infantry as cultists?

Mkoll was slamming melta charges silently against all the vehicles he could get to * he single handedly got 3 weapon destroyed resulst 2 immobilised results and 6 Vehicle destroyed results

This means that AFTER all the turns you passed, you played at least another 11 turns just for Mkoll to achieve all those results (since you can only use 1 melta bomb a turn) And that's just considering that he was able to jump from one vehicle to another without losing any time.

MY vast armour regiments then Pounded the advancing lines of chaos marines into dust

What are your vast armor regiments composed of if I may ask?

but only after destroying all of their infantry and armour

Destroyed all the enemy infantry and armor? I have yet to see an apocalypse game that lasts more than 6 turns, but seeing one where one sides annihilates the other one's complete force is amazing, how did you do it and how long did it take? While we're at it, what units did your enemy have?

the real challenge THREE chaos daemons I know right

THREE CHAOS DAEMONS?! Ehm... what kind of daemons are we speaking of? Lesser daemons are not exactly a big danger and even if they were greater daemons then the army you have left at that point is still a lot stronger than those daemons... unless of course these are some forge world daemons I do not know of... please enlighten u.

and my shadowsword baneblade

Ehm... so which one do you have, a shadowsword or a baneblade (or both?)

2vs2 Tanith vs chaos

Who was the other player on your side? You never mention him or anything he does.

So you see, aside from the battle report being written rather vaguely and with happenings that seem extremely unlikely to actually occur in a game of 40k, not having any means to then prove you own this big of an army will leave even the most kind of dakkadakka users skeptic.
Personally I admit that I do, in fact, not believe that you have a 50.000 point imperial guard army, but I'm sure you will post us some very nice pictures to clear all doubt
But I do love your battle report, I thought it was very funny A good read indeed!

It was a shadowsword and a baneblade to clarify also The enemy did field cultists my armour regiments were mostly leman russ tanks basilisks and a medusa siege cannon. The scouts in question were just conscripts with camo cloaks to give them the steath special rule. The dreadnoughts had been modded with anti infantry weapons. Before game i should have mentioned that because Mkoll was a master of movement He could move 4 times and use 4 melta chages per turn without penalty This was agreed upon by the chaos players as they felt they would win no matter what. As for the 2vs2 confusion we each had appointed tactical advisors incase we got tired so they could assume control of our units. As for the Turn confusion we decided total annihalation was the game winning factor So we made unlimeted turns.
Sorry all for the confusion im not very good at Battlereps yet this was my first one.

Here's the pic he uploaded.



Quicktip - Upload to the Dakka Gallery, it's a good way to keep track of all your images! I believe you also changed the extension from jpg to c:/user/documents which is incorrect!

By the way, were you playing against a whole 50000 point Chaos Army? Props to you for not taking over a month! With all the sheer detail of what would have happened, I'm surprised that you managed to remember that much! As for batreps, I'm no expert myself, but I think it's best to do a turn-by-turn, and to show all army lists, and possibly include an image of deployment, even if it's made on Microsoft paint. The whole point of a batrep is to showcase your tactics, so that beginners (like me) can learn from them, and veterans (like everyone else here) can point out ways you can improve.

Snarky wrote:Here's the pic he uploaded.



Quicktip - Upload to the Dakka Gallery, it's a good way to keep track of all your images! I believe you also changed the extension from jpg to c:/user/documents which is incorrect!

http://www.maxmini.eu/forum/index.php?topic=463.0
So apparently he's French and lives in Belgium eh?
(Scroll down to 6th picture for the one OP posted)
Google is your friend

Fire_for_effect wrote:

Snarky wrote:Here's the pic he uploaded.



Quicktip - Upload to the Dakka Gallery, it's a good way to keep track of all your images! I believe you also changed the extension from jpg to c:/user/documents which is incorrect!

http://www.maxmini.eu/forum/index.php?topic=463.0
So apparently he's French and lives in Belgium eh?
(Scroll down to 6th picture for the one OP posted)
Google is your friend

People lying about having played a huge apocalypse battle isn't sad at all....

At least this thread lead me to that site. Man those are some amazing armies.

QFT, that Dynasty army he created is absolutely fething fantastic.

Ibramgaunt54 wrote:Oh didnt happen did it tell me why It was sure as heck real to me

"You weren't there, man. You weren't there..."

Illumini wrote:People lying about having played a huge apocalypse battle isn't sad at all....

And trying to take credit for someone else's army when called on it is, of course, a class move.

<thread terminated; way too much piling on of the OP>